


Well Maybe What You Want is Right Here

by PiecesFallingFromMe



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Family, Fluff and Angst, Hope, Reunions, Romance, Sexual Content, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:45:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 164,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3932188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiecesFallingFromMe/pseuds/PiecesFallingFromMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes we don't realize what we want until we just...know. Sometimes it's been right in front of us the whole time, but we haven't been able to see it. And sometimes, love is worth fighting for.</p><p>"Do you miss me...at all?"</p><p>Cross-posted to ff.net @littlepiecesofme and Livejournal @northern-road</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sofia has given up screaming at me but now she’s crying, and after almost an hour of all this I feel the barely contained tears start to leak from my own eyes as I lean back against her bedroom wall. I swipe at them hastily and run a hand through my hair, tugging in frustration. The damn braids. Why can’t I learn to do the damn French braids in my daughter’s hair?  
  
“Sofia...” I look over at the wailing child on the bed and try again cautiously, “Sofia, come on, it’s alright. Mama can do braids for you on the weekend.”  
  
“I want bwaids NOW!” she wails, looking up at me tearily again. No longer in tantrum mode, now she’s just full on upset.  
  
“Ok but Sof...Mama isn’t here, you know that. Now come on, we have to get ready.”  
  
Glancing at my watch, I know that we’re already going to be late. Again. And that damn preschool teacher is going to give me attitude about it,  _again_.  
  
I settle on my daughter’s bed and sit her up, grabbing the brush to do  _something_  with her mane of dark hair.  
  
“NO!”  
  
She wrestles away, her almost four year old body surprisingly quick, and lets out a heart-wrenching sob as she grabs her stuffed dino.  
  
“I want bwaid!”  
  
I’m about to outright scold her but then I meet her eyes and the tears are flowing freely now, her lip quivering slightly.  
  
“I want mama,” she sniffles, burying her little face into the soft purple dino that’s been her favourite from the minute she came home. I sigh at the memory; the minute Arizona bought it for her at the hospital gift shop.  
  
“I want mama too, baby.”  
  
The words slip out on a breath, and I’m not even entirely aware I’ve said them as I wipe at the tears on my own cheeks. But they’re true. A small sob escapes my lips and I try to choke back the tears. I do want her. I  _miss_  her. As much as I thought this was better for me – for us – if I’m honest with myself, the last few months without her have been worse than anything we dealt with before. And it's not about Sofia, it's not just about the damn braids, it's...everything.  
  
I fumble my phone from my pocket and swipe it open, dialing the only phone number I actually know by heart, wiping my cheeks as it rings just a few times.  
  
“Callie? Hey.”  
  
I pause slightly at her voice, but as Sofia sobs and tries to grab for the phone as if she instinctually knows who’s on the other side, I snap out of my thoughts.  
  
“Callie?” Her voice sounds again, concern laced in her tone, “Callie, is that Sofia? What’s wrong?”  
  
I half laugh, half sob, wiping at my tears as I wrap an arm around our daughter. God, I’ve been such a fool. We’re both such fools.  
  
“What isn’t wrong? Arizona, will you come home?”  
  
I hear her shift on the other end of the line, her voice immediately carrying a more panicked tone.  
  
“Is Sofia hurt? Are you? What happened? I’ll be right over.”  
  
“No, Arizona...” I let out a slight breath, sniffling again, “just...come home. We need to...” I smooth hair back from the small face peering up at me, and  _god_ , I know it’s not possible, I know, but – the way her big brown eyes look at me, and the way she smiles shyly despite her tears, two dimples appearing in her little cheeks, the way she tucks her bangs aside – it’s so... _Arizona_.  
  
“Callie?”  
  
“We need to fix things. I do miss you enough. I miss you  _so_  much. I want to start again.”  
  
She makes a small sound, and a long, silent minute passes over the phone.  
  
“Calliope...” her voice is barely a whisper in my ear, and she sounds like she’s started crying. I tug Sofia closer, and press my own tear-stained cheek to her soft hair. I wasn’t sure this would ever happen. I didn’t know anymore if we were really meant to be. But suddenly I've realized that no matter how many things we’ve been through, and fought over; despite the hurts we’ve inflicted on each other over the past few years...I just want her beside me. I don't  _need_  her, and I don’t think she really needs me. But I  _want_ her. I  _choose her_ , and I always will.  
  
“I  _love_  you, Arizona. And I'm sorry. We’re so not over.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

_"I love you, Arizona. And I'm sorry. We're so not over."_  
  
  
*  
  
  
She's silent again for a few long minutes, and if not for the faint breathing I would have almost been convinced she'd hung up on me. I probably deserve it, but I sincerely hope she wouldn't.  
  
"Callie..." her voice, when she speaks again, is soft but no longer tinged with tears, "Let's go somewhere and talk. I know we've done a lot of that but --"  
  
I swallow quickly, drying my cheek with my sleeve before I interrupt.  
  
"Ok...yeah, yeah we should talk. Why don't you just come over? Please."  
  
"I think it'd be better if we weren't at the house."  
  
 _The_  house. I glance around the room that Arizona had delighted in decorating for our little girl and bite my lip a little. I realize I haven't really stopped thinking about it as  _ours_  yet. I guess she has. A guilty feeling washes over me -- I guess she's had to.  
  
"Yeah..uh, ok. But..."  
  
"But what?"  
  
Sofia is scowling at me now, having tugged away after I wouldn't give her the phone. I sigh heavily.  
  
"Would you come over for a minute first and braid Sofia's hair? We're already late for preschool and I've been fighting with her for an hour and I'm apparently completely inept."  
  
"Of course," her voice changes at the mention of Sofia, laced with nothing but loving tones, "I'll come over and we'll get her to school, and then you and I can talk."  
  
I nod to myself, letting out a breath.  
  
"Okay. Thank you."  
  
"You don't have to thank me, she's my daughter. I'll be there soon."  
  
She hangs up, and I stare at the phone for a minute before dropping it onto the bed, pushing my hair back.  
  
"Guess what, sweetie? Mama's coming over just to braid your hair for you!"  
  
Sofia looks up from behind Dino and her face lights up into a megawatt smile. She gives a squeal of joy and grabs a fistful of hair bands and clips from the nightstand, squirming off and running out toward the front of the house. I climb off the bed and follow her out, glad that if nothing else, I can make her happy for awhile.  
  
  
*  
  
  
When Arizona arrives shortly after our call, she rings the doorbell. It catches me off guard at first; she's only been to the house once since we split up...or at least, only once when I was home. She let herself in before that to pack some things while I was at work, but we've always just traded Sofia at the daycare over the past few months.  
  
Sofia comes barreling past me and runs to the door, unlocking it and opening the handle with somewhat alarming speed for a three year old.  
  
"MAMA!"  
  
She flings herself at Arizona as the door opens, wrapping little arms around her legs, and Arizona laughs lightly as she has to grip the door frame for balance.  
  
"Whoa there, little miss." I watch as she loosens the child's grip gently and crouches to scoop her up, stepping inside, "I missed you too."  
  
She plants a kiss on tiny lips and smooths her hand over Sofia's back, setting her purse down and nudging the door shut behind them.  
  
"Hi," she glances my way after a second, "rough morning, huh?"  
  
"Worse than the leggings debacle."  
  
She smiles faintly, focusing back on the girl in her arms.  
  
"Okay, well how about we go sit on the couch and make your hair into a pretty princess crown?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
They head into the living room while I go back to the kitchen to gather the rest of her school things, and I hear snippets of soft conversation and delighted giggles drifting down the hall. Turning to get her snacks from the fridge, I find myself paused when my eyes fall on a photo stuck to the door.  
  
 _Tiny squeals come from the direction of the living room, and then I faintly hear my wife's voice proclaim "Doctor Princess Sofia! Can I offer you a ride to the kitchen for your breakfast feast?"  
  
Toddler giggles ring out from the other room and I hear Sofia babbling on happily. Curious, I quietly step out into the hall and peek over into the open space of the living room.  
  
"But Doctor Princess! Your pancakes are waiting!"  
  
I grin at the sight in front of me. Sofia is perched in her mother's arms, hair elaborately braided à la Arizona with a sparkly tiara perched on top, and her new purple toy stethoscope in her ears. She has the bell placed gently above Arizona's heart, and she beams up at her in delight as Arizona looks on proudly.  
  
"Shhhh mama. I doctowing."_  
  
I smile at the photo. I'd managed to snap it on my phone without either of them noticing, and it had always been one of my favourites. I remember that moment like it was yesterday.  
  
"Callie? Is the rest of her stuff ready to go?"  
  
I blink out of my reverie and look back, smiling down at Sofia now happily waiting with her hair in a perfect braided crown, the rest falling around her shoulders just like a princess.  
  
"Ready." I quickly grab the lunch bag from the fridge and her miniature backpack from the chair. "You look beautiful, baby. Now let's get to school before Ms. Rachel is too angry at mommy for being late again."  
  
Arizona ushers her out the front door and helps her into my car, buckling her in and shutting the door firmly.  
  
"So...do you want to get coffee or something? There's that place near the preschool.."  
  
"Um..." I bite my lip for a second, looking at her, "Yeah, that sounds good. You can ride with us."  
  
She shakes her head slightly, nodding to her new car on the street.  
  
"I'll meet you there."  
  
She blows a kiss at Sofia with a smile and heads to her car as I slip into the driver's seat, feeling a little deflated. I mean, I don't know what I thought would happen -- I know I wasn't going to call her up and resume our happy life again. But I'm unsure about pretty much everything right now, just like I have been for the past three months, and as I pull out of the driveway I just start thinking about the many, many thing there are to say.  
  
  
*  
  
  
I get our daughter into the school less than half an hour late -- not too bad, I muse, considering our track record lately. Besides, she's not even four yet, how much does it really matter anyway?  
  
I see Arizona's small blue car parked down the block, and I head toward the cafe, leaving mine where it is. I don't even know what I'm going to say to her. I let out a pathetic laugh, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jacket; I have no idea what to say to the woman who is still the love of my life. Who I once could say anything to. I am screwed. The door jingles when I step inside, and she looks up from a corner table, two mugs already on the table. She gives me a small smile, waving me over.  
  
"I got you your normal...hope that's alright."  
  
Smiling, I shrug off my jacket and sit across from her.   
  
"That's perfect. Thanks, Arizona."  
  
The café is fairly quiet, and an awkward silence stretches out between us as we both study our coffee. Our silence never used to be awkward. Our silence used to be comfortable, and calming, and perfect.  
  
"So..." she glances over, one eyebrow slightly raised.  
  
I fiddle with the mug a little before meeting her eyes.  
  
"Look, Arizona...I know we tried this before, with the therapy..and..it didn't exactly go the way you wanted.."  
  
"Did it go the way  _you_  wanted though, Callie? Because it seemed like it did. I've spent the last few months assuming that it did, since you're the one who wanted to end our marriage."  
  
Her tone is almost brusque, which takes me a little by surprise. We haven't had more than a few conversations here and there over the last few months, most of them involving Sofia, but I thought we were...friendly, at least.   
  
"I thought it did at the time."  
  
She tries to keep the emotion from her face; a look I've seen directed at others many times, but rarely at myself.  
  
"But I think I was wrong," I quickly continue, tucking hair behind my ear, "I  _was_  wrong, Arizona. I thought being apart was the right thing for both of us...I wanted you to be happy again, and I wasn't making you happy."  
  
Blue eyes are cast downward, and she wraps a hand around her coffee mug, her fingers moving deliberately.  
  
"Who said you weren't making me happy?"  
  
"It....seemed pretty evident, I thought. I wanted another baby, you didn't. I wasn't sure about your new fellowship, when you were so excited about it."  
  
I watch as she lifts the cup to her lips, taking a sip slowly.  
  
"I  _did_  want another baby. You're the one who kept telling me that I didn't."  
  
"I was holding you back. I really didn't feel like you were happy with us."  
  
She sets the cup down firmly.  
  
"And I was smothering you, right?"  
  
I pause, wincing internally at her tone of voice.  
  
"Arizona...no...I know that's what I said but I didn't mean it like that."  
  
Those crystal blue eyes snap up in my direction, brows furrowed almost in....anger?  
  
"How else can you mean that, Callie? It's pretty straightforward. Pretty much summed up everything I'd felt about myself the past year and a half, that I was the disabled, depressed wife causing you more stress and trouble than I was worth. Asking for too much, needing too much, always an emotional disaster," she laughs bitterly, taking another sip of coffee, "I mean, I guess I should have expected it. It took me too long to figure my shit out. I can admit I was a mess. I didn't think I was  _smothering_  you, but apparently."  
  
My jaw clenches a little, and I'm trying really hard not to lash out with a retort of my own.  
  
"I don't think you need to put words in my mouth. I never said  _any_  of that."  
  
The blonde runs a hand through her loose hair, meeting my eyes again before she speaks.  
  
"Putting words in your mouth, Callie? Don't you get it? That's what you spent the last year of our marriage doing."  
  
I meet her eyes, surprised. Is that really how she felt? Is that...I watch her expression, and it hits me. I kind of  _did._  
  
"I'm not saying all of this was your fault, Callie. Really, I'm not. God knows I haven't exactly been perfect," she shakes her head slightly, "and our communication skills are about equal to a game of telephone, but I feel like...you just never listened anymore. You constantly put words in my mouth, told me how I should feel and what I should do. You pushed me to recover after the amputation, which in hindsight actually did help, but it wasn't what I needed from you at the time, you know? But we moved on, we were doing good, except it still felt like you always wanted to fix me. You wanted to make me Arizona again. But the thing was, Callie -- the thing is -- I  _am_  Arizona. This is me, and I'm not the same person I was five years ago. Physically, emotionally, any of it."  
  
She twists the mug a bit in her hands, and I can't take my eyes off her face now that all these words are tumbling out.   
  
"And neither are you. Which isn't a bad thing, it's just how it is. We've been through a lot, and we've both changed. It just...it kept feeling like you couldn't accept that. It wasn't your job to fix me, Callie. It was your job to hold my hand and stand by my side while I fixed myself."  
  
I cast my eyes down toward the table, pushing back the tears that are threatening to collect in my eyes, and trace a finger along the rim of the mug. She's right. I wanted to help her, but I never really saw that my helping was anything but. Silence stretches on, and I hear her let out a heavy breath.  
  
"Callie -- I'm really not blaming you. I don't. I slept with another woman, which was clearly not the solution to anything...." she trails off quietly, "and not something I'm proud of. I could have come to you instead, yelled at you, screamed at you, let things manifest in an argument instead."  
  
"But I would have argued back and we'd have gone in the same circles we'd been going in for months."  
  
She looks over, and I lift my head when I feel her gaze on me.  
  
"Yeah, you would have."  
  
My eyes close briefly, because I know she's right. But when I open them I still see her gaze trained on me, watching me intently.  
  
"So where can we go from here, then?"  
  
Her shoulders raise in a halfhearted shrug and she pushes her hair back again, sighing.  
  
"I don't know, Callie. I thought with the therapy....I really thought the thirty day separation would work. It seemed to. I...I was so sure going into our last appointment that things were finally on their way to being better. They finally felt better, you know? Like we were reconnecting. I really,  _truly_  thought we were going to be okay. You kind of blindsided me by telling me that we weren't."  
  
It's only because I know her face so well, know every detail of her expressions, that I can tell she's holding back a wave of emotion. Those eyes meet mine again briefly and I can see everything she's feeling painted in shades of blue. I want to tell her everything; that I know now what a horrible mistake I made. That every single day of the last three months she's the only thing I could think about, the only person I've wanted to talk to on the good days and the bad. That I've  _missed her_ , so completely. That I could never not be in love with her. That I don't  _want_  to not be in love with her.  
  
But for once in my life my brain catches up before my mouth starts to speak, and I know that's not what she needs to hear now. That's not what either of us needs. I consider my words carefully before I reply, my eyes not leaving hers.  
  
"What would you say to starting over? Giving us one more chance." I pause, my voice quiet and sincere, "I want another chance with you."  
  
Her fingers curl around the mug again, and she unconsciously tucks some stray hair behind her ear, which she always does when she's thinking.   
  
"I don't know..." her reply comes softly, almost reluctantly.  
  
Taking a steadying breath, I let my hand slide across the table, fingertips just brushing against her hand.  
  
"Arizona...sometimes I call it wrong, I misjudge a situation. But...I'd like to take you to dinner."  
  
Those words conjure a memory that seems so long ago now; such a different time. I feel the instant electricity as our hands touch, and judging by the look that flits quickly across her face as she glances down and then back to meet my eyes, I think she does too. She waits a few minutes, considering her answer, watching me before she speaks.  
  
"I'd like that too."

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who like a soundtrack, I thought I'd mention that the two songs that somewhat inspired this fic/have been on repeat in my head for days are "Just Give Me a Reason" by Pink/Nate Ruess, and "Life After You" by Daughtry.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!

**_Arizona_ **

  
I agreed to go to dinner with Callie yesterday. On a date with Callie. I tug my scrub top on and grab my lab coat from my cubbie, mentally chastising myself. Part of me thinks this is a horrible idea, but  _god_ , part of me wants it so, so badly. I never  _did_  dating. First dates, sure, but never much further than that. Or at least I didn't, until I met Callie. And then she was it for almost six years. And now...now I don't know. It feels a little weird to be asked out on a date by someone you were married to.  
  
_Were_  married to. I suppose in the grand scheme of things we were never legally married anyway, so it made the divorce bit pretty simple. Although we hadn’t really dealt with a lot of it yet...I frown slightly, shrugging the lab coat on as I make my way out of the lounge. There was still the property to divide, bank accounts to split, and I want some kind of legal custody arrangement for Sofia...I sigh, thinking of my beautiful little girl. I wanted nothing more than for her to grow up in the perfect home, to have the kind of family life I’d had minus the military bases. And she’d had it all -- but she already lost one parent, and now most likely she’s got two single moms and she’ll have two houses and two bedrooms and constantly be moving back and forth...forgetting her piano books at one house and her softball glove at the other, and...I come around the corner and snatch my first chart from the nurses’ station, growling slightly in frustration. I don't know why I'm kidding myself with this date.   
  
“Whoa, what’s your problem this morning? I left you some coffee this time.”  
  
I look up at the familiar voice of my...housemate...and that thought does absolutely nothing to quell my frustration.  
  
“Nothing. And gee, thanks Alex. You left like half a cup.”  
  
“Nothing, my ass. You were actually in a pleasant rainbows and crap mood when I saw you last night,” he points his pen in my direction, eyebrow raised, “Even Jo mentioned it.”  
  
“I have a date with Callie tomorrow night.”  
  
I blurt it out quickly without thinking, and then glance around, thankful that none of our other colleagues are within earshot. When I look forward again, Alex gives me a patented ‘what the hell are you on?’ stare.  
  
“Is there another chick called Callie around here? Or do you mean Callie your  _ex?_ ”  
  
“Of course I mean Callie my...” I hiss under my breath, “shut up, Alex.”  
  
I direct my eyes to the chart in my hand and take off down the hall, and the younger man catches up to fall in step beside me.  
  
“You’re serious? I thought you two were...you know...actually done. I thought you said she’d ended it?”  
  
I sigh and run a hand through my hair, knowing that it’s already messy, but what do I care, anyway?  
  
“She did, Alex. We’re over...divorced...whatever. But yesterday she called me and she wanted to talk and then...well. She asked me out.”  
  
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” his normally rough tone has changed, and he’s quiet now, his voice laced with concern as we stop outside the NICU, “You’ve been miserable the last three months, Robbins. And now suddenly she what, wants to get back together like nothing ever happened? What if she just ends up crushing you all over again?”  
  
I tuck hair behind my ear, glancing up from the chart to look at him. Alex has been a really good friend – he can be rough around the edges, and he can be an asshole, but he’s been a really good friend and I know he’s genuinely concerned about me.  
  
“What if she doesn’t? I don’t know, Alex, honestly I don’t. Maybe it’s a mistake. But maybe we really can start over...”  
  
I swallow past the small lump forming in my throat and shake my head, straightening up and letting my professional demeanor fall into place.  
  
“Come on, let’s go see how the Ellison baby is doing,” I effectively end the conversation as I push open the door and head into the NICU, leaving him to follow. At least in here, I do know what I’m doing.

 

  
*

 

  
The next day and a half goes by quickly, filled with three fetal surgeries – which I rock – and some extra training in the skills lab with Herman. Now it’s Friday night, and I find myself staring into the closet in Alex’s guest room, trying to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to wear on a first date with my ex-wife. Is there an appropriate outfit for that? I feel like there should be a TV show about this or something. I pull out an emerald green dress and hold it up, studying it carefully. It’s not too fancy, but it’s cut nicely and I know the colour looks great on me. It’s new too, which might be a good omen for starting things again. After a particularly horrible day at the hospital a few weeks ago I'd dragged Amelia out for stress shopping...of course my normal response would have been dragging my wife into an on-call room for stress relief but I've had to come up with other coping methods. I was still a little uncomfortable about the idea of a short dress, but the other surgeon had convinced me to buy it.   
  
The door slams downstairs all of a sudden, and I hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs down the hall.   
  
“Alex? Come in here a sec,” I call out, knowing it can only be him sounding like that.   
  
A minute later he appears in the doorway, looking slightly uncomfortable after he sees me holding the dress up in the mirror.  
  
“Uh...yeah?”  
  
I turn to face him, holding up the dress somewhat nervously.  
  
“Okay, so, this is awkward and we’re not going to pretend it’s not, but you’re the only person who knows about my plans tonight so....” I ramble quickly, “this? Or,” I point to the black slacks and red silky blouse on the bed, “that?”  
  
It strikes me as completely absurd and ridiculous that I’m asking Alex Karev – of all people – for clothing advice, but since arriving home an hour ago I find I’m a lot more worried about tonight than I thought.  
  
Alex steps into the room and studies me with the dress, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully.  
  
“You know this is weird, right? You're still like my boss.”  
  
“Yes I know this is weird, but we're not at work now and we’re friends and I live in your guest room. So shut up and just help me!”  
  
“You’re freaking out, Robbins,” he studies the outfit laid out on the bed, then looks back at the dress, pointing, “that one. Dress.”  
  
I look down at the flowing material, biting my lip a little.  
  
“Really? Even with...you know...”  
  
“Dude, even with the fake leg you’re hotter than like 90% of women out there. Give me a break. And besides, Torres really likes you in red so you don’t want to give her too much too soon. If you’re really gonna give her another chance, you gotta make her work for it.”  
  
My eyes shoot up, narrowing slightly at him, although also kind of delighted at his comments.  
  
“Right. Okay, dress it is. Thanks, Karev.”  
  
The younger man nods, backing out of the room as I hold the dress up in front of myself in the mirror again.  
  
“Anytime. And hey – Arizona?”  
  
I turn back at his use of my first name and meet his eyes.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“If it were me, I don’t know if I’d be giving it another shot. But for what it’s worth, I hope this works out for you. “  
  
“Thanks," I answer softly, letting my gaze fall to the green material again as I run my fingers over it thoughtfully.  
  
He steps out into the hall, but then stops and speaks again, his voice taking on an uncharacteristic tone of sincerity.  
  
“She’d be nuts not to fight for you though."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
Thank god for Meredith Grey. If you’d told me five years ago that the two of us would become friends, I never would have believed you, but somewhere along the way we bonded over our kids and our relationship troubles and while we’re not exactly BFFs, at least she’s  _someone_. The sitter we always used hadn’t been available at the last minute, but when I hastily explained to Meredith why I  _desperately_ needed someone to take Sofia tonight, she’d bundled her up with Zola without asking too many questions.  
  
And now I’m getting ready to take Arizona on a date.  
  
And I am really freaking nervous. Which kind of feels stupid because I’ve known her for ages and I’ve seen her naked and we were married, for crying out loud. But somehow, I think, that just makes it worse.  
  
I pull on my deep purple blouse, letting the silky material fall into place as I adjust it in the mirror. This had always been one of her favourite colours on me. Combined with dressy black skinny jeans and boots, I think my outfit is appropriate first-date material. Not that I’ve, you know, done that in almost six years.  
  
Fluffing my hair a bit where it lays loose around my shoulders, my hand comes to rest along my throat, fingers absently seeking out the chain that used to reside there. A wave of sadness washes over me as I remember how the necklace’s twin had remained around Arizona’s neck for almost two months, before one day in surgery I noticed it was just...gone. I sigh, fidgeting with the neckline of the blouse again, studying my reflection in the mirror. Part of me thinks I should back out of tonight and just let her go. I know I broke her heart when I said we were over – I broke mine too – so maybe I should just let her move on now, and live with my regrets.  
  
Except I can’t. Not without at least trying again. I am nothing if not stubborn to a fault.  
  
I move over to the dresser and pick up a bracelet, slipping it on, and I glance at the framed photo sitting in the corner.  
  
_“Callie, what are you doing?” Arizona’s laughter rings out in the open space of the park as I suddenly tug her and Sofia close, wrapping my arm around them and squishing them against me._  
  
_“Family selfie!”_  
  
_“Seffie!” Sofia giggles at the word and adjusts herself in her mother’s arms, pressing her cheek up against Arizona’s in an adorable pose._  
  
_“Oh my god, did you teach our three year old what a selfie is? She’s posing!”_  
  
_I grin, leaning in on the other side of her, phone held out at arm’s length._  
  
_“She’s a smart girl, that’s all. And at least she’s not doing duck face today. Now shut your beautiful mouth and smile.”_  
  
I feel a small smile graze my lips. That picture wasn’t even a year old – taken just a few days after Sofia’s third birthday. Had we really been so happy only a short time ago? We’d been in a good place then, finally. Until it all started to unravel.  
  
I shake the thoughts off and inspect my makeup and outfit once more before I head toward the front door, slipping my leather jacket on in the process. I grab my purse and the small bouquet of irises I’d gotten on the way home, and without hesitation I head out to the car. Time to go pick up my date.

 

  
*

 

  
Sidling up the front steps to Alex’s house, flowers in hand, I let out a long breath and ring the doorbell. It’s ridiculous that I’m this nervous. But I think deep inside I know that this is, without a doubt, our last chance to make this work. This is my last chance to be with her. And I don’t want either of us to screw it up anymore.  
  
I look up as the door opens and as my eyes take her in I can feel my heart start to flutter. She’s lightly made up, her blonde hair is curled just slightly around her shoulders, and she’s wearing a gorgeous green dress that makes her skin and her eyes look like they’re practically glowing. The soft looking material flows perfectly to hug her curves, and...I very purposefully try to  _not_  let my eyes hover along the neckline but the way the dress is cut makes that very, very hard.  
  
“You look beautiful.”  
  
A surprised smile tugs at her lips and she steps back, letting me in from the porch.  
  
“Thanks. So do you, Callie," she lightly touches my arm, her voice soft and genuine.  
  
“Oh!” I tear my eyes away from her and hold up the bouquet, “and these are for you. I just...I thought you’d like them.”  
  
She takes the bouquet, her smile widening to reveal her gorgeous dimples. Those dimples. I didn’t realize I could miss something like that so much. Something so small and seemingly insignificant.  
  
“These are gorgeous,” she burrows her nose in the bouquet, inhaling deeply, “I love irises.”  
  
“I know,” I smile wider now too, watching her, “they’re your favourite.”  
  
She glances at me, something quickly flashing across her eyes that I can’t quite make out.  
  
“They are. Let me just put them in water before we go.”  
  
She turns and walks back toward the kitchen and I stay by the door, somewhat awkwardly glancing around now. I lived at this house once, when I was a very different person. Arizona had been the one person in our circle of friends who actually hadn't ever lived at the Grey house...and I was surprised when I learned that this is where she was staying, even still three months after she moved out. Alex is a good guy though, and Jo seems nice enough from the little I know her. Sofia certainly enjoys her weekends here, anyway. I'm glad she has people.  
  
"Okay, now we can go."  
  
Blonde hair catches my eye as Arizona walks back to the front door, high heeled shoes clicking lightly on the hardwood.... _oh_. I glance down slightly. Something in the back of my brain is telling me that I really have no right to be looking at her this way but... _heels_. Arizona Robbins looks fantastic in high heels.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
She's slipped her jacket on, and she looks at me with a slightly bemused expression, like she knows exactly what I'm thinking. I just smile, opening the door for her.  
  
"Ready."

 


	4. Chapter 4

**_Callie_**  
  
The first few minutes of the car ride are dead silent...not quite awkward, but not quite comfortable either. I don't really know what to say. She looks amazing though -- the minute I saw her at that door so many things came flooding back to me, so many happy memories, so many moments that now seem frozen in time. I know she's not perfect, but I'm remembering why she's such a perfect match for me. I'm remembering why she always takes my breath away.   
  
"So, where are we going?"  
  
I glance over as her voice breaks through the silence, and a warm feeling spreads through me as she smiles.  
  
"I made a reservation at that new Italian place that opened near the harbour...Tosca? I read an article about it and it has some amazing reviews. Have you been?"  
  
She laughs a little, softly.  
  
"No, I haven't really been out much lately. Work...and Sofia and studying and stuff, you know. It's been busy. I had dinner with Laura from Peds last week but we just went to Joe's."  
  
I nod, wracking my brain for a second....who's Laura from Peds?  
  
"I don't remember her."  
  
"Hm?" she turns to look at me, "oh, Dr. Gillis. She's fairly new, fifth year resident who transferred from New York. You probably wouldn't see her that much outside the Peds floor."  
  
I just nod again, turning onto the downtown street by the water, keeping my eyes out for the restaurant. An unexpected wave of jealously washes through my body, and I grip the wheel a little tighter. Had Arizona been dating? I realize I don't even know. But how else would she become friendly with a new resident out of nowhere? And it's not my business, not really, but...I find that I very much dislike the idea nonetheless.  
  
"Here it is," I pull into the small parking lot and find a spot, glancing at the classy little building, all glass windows and Italian architecture.   
  
"Looks nice from the outside, anyway."  
  
She flashes me a quick grin as she reaches to unbuckle.  
  
"Smells good, too."  
  
Grinning to myself at her comment, my jealousy forgotten, I slip out of the car and come around, opening her door out of habit. Except something in my mind clicks and I freeze when I think twice about the action. It's something I always did for years, and she'd liked it until after the plane crash -- she used to tease about what a romantic I was -- but then she'd started hating it. She didn't want any help during her recovery and she'd perceived it as just that.  
  
I glance down hesitantly but she just gives me a surprised look, then smiles and climbs out, smoothing her dress down.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
I divert my eyes quickly from the flash of smooth, creamy thigh I just got, lock up the car, and head into the restaurant with her. When I give my name to the host at the door he leads us to a small table near the back of the restaurant where there are windows that look out over the harbour, something I know Arizona loves. She's always had a thing for water -- whether it's the ocean, the rain, or a bathtub. I'm pretty pleased with myself at just how perfectly this place turned out.  
  
"Oh, this place is gorgeous inside. I'm glad you picked it, Callie."  
  
She slips her jacket off and I take it, pulling out her chair and draping it along the back.  
  
"Me too. Besides, I figured I couldn't go wrong trying to win you over with pasta."  
  
Arizona just shakes her head, amused, settling down as I slip into my chair across from her.   
  
"You know the way to my heart is through food."  
  
She seems almost hesitant after the words leave her mouth, like she's regretting speaking, but she gives me a small smile and casually pulls the wine list over to peruse.  
  
I don't say anything right away either, just watching as she tucks a blonde wave of hair behind her ear, blue eyes flitting over the menu, hand coming to finger the heavy statement necklace resting against her chest. There have been times over the last few months where the realization that I let this go -- let  _her_  go, pushed her away -- has come crushing down on me, gripping my heart in a vice. Everything about her is so beautiful, I don't know why I ever stopped fighting for her.  
  
"Okay. Callie," she looks up suddenly like she sensed I was watching her, and I panic that she's somehow read my thoughts, "I have to ask. What exactly are we doing tonight?"  
  
I blink once, tilting my head curiously.  
  
"What do you mean? We're having dinner."  
  
"I mean what are we  _doing?_  We're on a date, at a nice restaurant. We got dressed up," she motions to herself and then glances over me appreciatively, "but what  _is_  this? We were married for three years but then you divorced me and aside from the other day we've barely spoken since. But now we're dressed up and acting like this is an actual  _date_  date. I just need to know what this is."  
  
She has a point. All I know is that I want her back, and I want our family back, and I know I can't just have that automatically -- as much as I wish I could. Asking her on a date just kind of happened, it wasn't something I planned. I didn't really think much past that moment because I was just happy she'd agreed.  
  
"This is..." I start slowly, knowing I need to say something, and I try to make sense of my erratic thoughts, "this  _is_  a date date. This is a..." I pause slightly, looking at the woman across the table, studying her, "it's a second first-date, Arizona. I meant what I said about wanting us to start over."  
  
"Ok, but..."   
  
"No, just wait," I reach over and take her hand lightly from where it rests on the table, not missing the look of surprise that flashes across her eyes, "I know we can't just forget our history, or pretend none of it ever happened. A  _lot_  happened. I know you already, and you know me...better than any other person out there. But I still want this to be a new start."  
  
I glance at our hands, happy she didn't pull away, and run my thumb lightly along the side of hers to prolong the contact.  
  
"I know at some point if there ends up...being more dates..." I lick my lips nervously, not wanting to get ahead of myself, "that we're going to have to talk about some things. But for now I want to think of this as new. Because I know I sure as hell have made some huge mistakes where you're concerned and let's face it, our past has some pretty rough moments. I'm tired of dwelling on all that."  
  
Arizona lets out a slight breath, and it pains me to see her eyes tinged with such a deep sadness. It kills me knowing a large part of it is there because of me.  
  
"I've made some pretty huge mistakes myself."  
  
"So..." I reply, clearing my throat, "new start then. I mean it. I finally get what you meant, Arizona. That sometimes it's better to start from scratch than to keep adding ingredients and hope it works out.  
  
She'd repeated those words to me more than once when we started going to therapy -- something her mother had told her, she'd said. She'd pleaded them with me, and I'd only rebuffed the phrase as crazy and meaningless, laughed it off bitterly. My own father had taught me to forgive after that fateful night of the storm, but it was my former mother-in-law's words that had been stuck in my mind for weeks now.   
  
I hold her gaze steadily, my heart hammering wildly in my chest, hoping what I've said makes at least some kind of sense to her. That she remembers the saying and still believes it herself. She looks down at our hands too, seeming to consider them for a moment before something in her eyes changes. She pulls her hand back and sits up, giving me a full dimpled smile.  
  
"So. Ortho, right?"

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_**  
  
By the time we've gotten through a glass of wine and appetizers, and are digging into sinfully delicious pasta, the conversation is flowing surprisingly easy between us. Callie said she wants to make this a fresh start. It's hard, because the history is there -- so much of it -- and I'm still hurt that she decided to give up on us after everything we'd weathered together. It's hard because I have  _never_  stopped loving her over the years, and the Arizona Robbins I was before ever meeting and opening up to Callie is grasping at my mind, terrified of being irreparably crushed again. She's the Arizona Robbins who never wanted to become attached in the first place, who always bailed at the first sign of difficult times, who held her heart and her emotions locked up tighter than Alcatraz.  
  
But yet the conversation flows between us easily, and it feels nice. And despite my reservations, I still want to be the Arizona that I became with this woman. I want to  _hope._  
  
"So you actually yelled at Herman...your boss...in the middle of the hall? You, Arizona Robbins?"  
  
I feel myself blush a little, and I methodically spear a ravioli from my plate.  
  
"I mean it was less yelling and more....speaking loudly."  
  
Callie just grins knowingly as I glance at her, picking up her glass.  
  
"Kinda wish I had been there to see it."  
  
A small smile tugs at my lips before I reply and keep eating.  
  
"She's going through some things...professionally. She's really not as bad as she seems. She's been great."  
  
"I'm glad you're doing so well with the fellowship, Arizona," her tone is genuine, the teasing gone now, "You seem really happy with it."  
  
"I am. It's been insanely hard work so far, but it's been amazing. I do miss working with the tiny humans though -- I mean, I know they're in good hands with Alex, but you don't get to colour, and play checkers, and hear horrible Batman jokes with the fetal crowd, you know? And there's a lot less hugging."  
  
I see Callie look up at my words, her eyes curious.  
  
"Are you going to take back the Peds department when the fellowship is over though? Alex is only interim, right?"  
  
I consider the question for a moment, shrugging lightly.  
  
"I don't know, really. It'll depend."  
  
"Depend on what? That department is your baby. I mean I know you'll also be the only fetal surgeon we have, but.."   
  
"It'll depend on....a lot of things. We'll see how it goes. I'll definitely be able to work more in Peds once the learning part is over though," I smile, continuing softly, "and besides, I'm saving the  _tiniest_  humans now. That's even more miraculous."  
  
She gives me a smile too, speaking quietly before picking up what remains of her wine.  
  
"You're miraculous."  
  
I feel a swell of warmth in my chest as I glance away, taking a last bite to finish my plate. It  _will_  depend on a lot of things. Being a double board-certified surgeon and one of the few fetal surgeons on the west coast will keep me busy enough, let alone if I kept the position as chief of Paediatrics on top of that. If it's just me then....yeah, it won't matter. As long as I have time for Sofia. But if this actually works out -- and I mentally kick myself for even thinking about that yet -- then maybe our family will still expand. Even if it doesn't, I'll want to be home more.  
  
Pushing my plate away slightly, I reach over and pluck the leather-bound dessert menu from the edge of the table where the waiter had left it, deciding that this conversation was starting to turn a little too serious for a first date.  
  
Callie watches the action and laughs, and I just look over and raise my eyebrows at her.  
  
"Always dessert."  
  
"Dessert is the best part, Callie. And you call yourself a food lover."  
  
I scan the first page of the menu and easily find what I'm looking for. Flipping the menu around so she can see, I tap the item lightly. Tartufo di pizzo. Hand-shaped cake with a melted chocolate centre, covered with sprinkles of cocoa powder and sugar. Absolutely decadent.  
  
Callie's lips twitch into a smile as she reads the description.  
  
"Okay...maybe not a bad idea."  
  
I just grin happily, pleased with both her immediate response and with the knowledge that tonight has gone really well. I was more than a little apprehensive about coming at all tonight, about even daring to think we could enjoy time together again, that she would even make an attempt given how brutally she tore herself away from me months ago. But despite all my reservations, despite the part of my brain screaming to not let this happen, it's been a truly pleasant evening.   
  
I set the menu down, leaving it open between us, and surprising myself I lay my hand in the space as well, palm facing up. Nothing will ever compare to our original first date, that much I know. I'll always carry that memory with me. But as I watch Callie hesitantly slide her fingers over mine and thread them lightly, her dark eyes almost watery with emotion, I do know this -- that as far as second first-dates go? this has been a lot better than expected.  
  
"I'd say it's a great idea."

 


	5. Chapter 5

_**Arizona** _

 

“Okay, I can’t tell what this face is,” Amelia grabs her coffee from the girl at the coffee cart and waves her hand in my direction, “You look like someone just told you your puppy has a terminal illness.”  
  
I blink, looking back towards the woman beside me.  
  
“What?”  
  
The neurosurgeon sips her coffee, raising her eyebrow slightly.  
  
“What’s with the staring off into space? The serious look? You’ve clearly got something on your mind.”  
  
“Oh,” I look down at my cup, then back at her as we start walking down the hall. It’s early, so it’s still pretty quiet around the hospital. I guess I kind of have been lost in my thoughts the last day or two. “It’s nothing.”  
  
“It’s obviously something. I may not have seen you in six years, Arizona, but I knew you well enough to know when something’s up. Is it this whole thing with Herman?”  
  
I just shake my head, taking another long drink of coffee. I don’t have that many friends around here that weren’t Callie’s friends first. Amelia and I were at Hopkins together, and we were pretty close by the end of our time there, even though we drifted apart once we each left for different hospitals. Since she’s moved out to Seattle we’ve spent a little time together catching up, but there is so much she missed over the last six years. So much.  
  
“I went on a date with Callie the other night. My ex-wife.”  
  
The dark haired woman is silent for a minute, considering my admission, and I glance over quickly at her. I could use her friendship again.  
  
“Callie...Torres, right? She’s hot,” she nods, leaning back on the wall as we come to a stop outside the lounge, “Yeah I’ve heard you guys were married. Your daughter Sofia is adorable, by the way. Smart too. I met her at Mere’s a couple times.”  
  
I smile proudly, leaning back beside her.  
  
“She is. Her and Zola are best friends.”  
  
“So you went on a date with your ex-wife. I think you’re gonna need to fill me in on the rest of this story, Robbins. Cause obviously this has you kind of twisty inside.”  
  
Letting out a heavy sigh, I run my fingers back through my hair. That’s an understatement.  
  
“Short version or do you have a couple hours?”  
  
She just laughs, shooting me a grin before looking at her watch.  
  
“Surgery in forty minutes. Short version.”  
  
The look on her face earns a laugh from me too, and I look down to study my cup, choosing my words carefully.  
  
“So, Callie. We met a few months after I moved here, I kissed her in the bathroom at Joe’s, and we started dating. I fell for her – like  _fell_  fell – hard. We were together for a year, then the kids topic came up and we wanted different things and so we split up. But then we were locked together during the hospital shooting and...well it changed things,” I reflect on that memory for a minute, so burned into my mind. Still surreal when I think about it, like so many other things in my life.  
  
“But then, six months later I won the Carter-Madison, we fought again, and I basically broke up with her at the airport and took off for Africa,” I laugh bitterly at the memory. We’d been screwing this up almost right from the start.  
  
“I was so in love though. Couldn’t last more than two months without her, so I came back to beg for forgiveness.....and found out she was pregnant with Sofia.”  
  
Amelia looks up at that, surprised.  
  
“Wait, what?”  
  
I just wave a hand, shaking my head.  
  
“Not important. She slept with Mark, got pregnant. I love my daughter and no one can ever tell me she’s not mine, so it doesn’t matter anymore.”  
  
“Wait Sofia is  _Mark’s...?_ ” she trails off quietly, the mention of his name no doubt stirring up her own memories, “Oookay.”  
  
“So I came back, we got back together, her and Sofia almost died in a car crash and then we got engaged and we got married,” I ramble on in a long breath.  
  
“We were so, so happy,” a smile tugs at my lips now, and I trace the lid of my cup absently, “It was finally perfect, it really was. I had this amazing, miraculously beautiful wife who loved me, a perfect baby girl who was healthy and happy. Even Mark...I grew to appreciate Mark’s friendship, his role in Sofia’s life. I was literally living the dream with Callie.”  
  
I hesitate a minute, keeping my gaze locked on the cup.  
  
“Then the plane crashed.”  
  
I glance up for just a second and she meets my eyes, traces of sorrow etched across her gaze.  
  
“Yeah, the plane,” she lets out a breath, “I heard about that right after it happened...I mean, because Derek and Meredith...I should have called or something though, Arizona. I mean,” she gives me a wry smile, “I was pretty fucked up myself then, but I still could have gotten in touch.”  
  
I give my friend a small smile.  
  
“Nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, I wouldn’t have spoken to you anyway. I didn’t really...I didn’t talk to anyone.”  
  
She just nods, settling back against the wall again.  
  
“I get it.”  
  
“So...” I sigh heavily, “the plane crashed. I lost my leg, ended up in a very dark place for a very long time, and basically shut Callie out completely. I was awful to her. I mean...” I swallow a little, speaking more quietly, hating even the thought of those long months, “I was awful. She stuck by me, at least as much as I would let her...eventually we were on the mend and we...I...got pregnant. I felt like we were getting our life back. I was so excited to give Sofia a little sister or brother. We bought a house.”  
  
In an uncharacteristic move for her, I feel Amelia’s free hand meet mine where it hangs between us, and she just takes it silently, squeezing. I didn’t know it at that moment, but I’d soon learn that she’d lost her own child all too recently; she did know how I felt.  
  
“I lost the baby. I think things started to unravel then....I was in a bad place again, the relationship was strained. I ended up sleeping with someone else. She forgave me and we tried to move on, even started planning to have a baby again...but everything just...imploded,” the last word leaves my lips in a whisper, and I let go of her hand, bringing my fingers up to wipe at the tears threatening to fall from the corner of my eye.  
  
“We tried therapy for a couple months, but in the end I just wasn’t enough for her anymore. I wasn’t making her happy. So,” I lean my head back on the wall, giving a half-hearted shrug, “she asked for a divorce. Separation, whatever. She said we were over.”  
  
“Arizona...”  
  
I shrug slightly again, rubbing the corner of my eye, composing myself.  
  
“Now you’re caught up. Welcome to the complete fuck-up that is my personal life.”  
  
Amelia turns to face me, leaning her shoulder on the wall instead, and I can feel her eyes studying me.  
  
“Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up. All of it. And it’s pretty bad if  _I’m_  saying that.”  
  
“I just keep losing everyone, Amy,” my voice feels quiet in the empty hallway, “Joanne, Emily – you saw me drive her away. And then after Tim...I mean when I moved out here, I put on the happy face but I didn’t think I’d ever really be happy again. It felt like half of me was missing. But then Calliope, she became my other half. She...she gave me a kind of love I didn’t even know I wanted, or needed – that I didn’t even know was  _possible_. I was so happy and then it was ripped away from me again. My own fault this time, but...”  
  
“Okay, I’m pretty sure it was her fault too. Sounds like you both made a mess of everything. Which...” she looks down, then takes a long drink and finishes her coffee, “sucks. It sucks, Arizona, big time. Cause from what I’ve heard you guys were kind of amazing together. And trust me when I say I know what it’s like to be down that very dark, very lonely hole. Where you seem to be a recurrent guest now.”  
  
I look at her, brow furrowing slightly, but she just shakes her head like she doesn’t want to elaborate.  
  
“But, you and Callie went on a date? I mean, is this a step towards reconciliation or...?”  
  
“Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe. I mean....” I pause, tucking hair behind my ear, “the date went well. It was nice.”  
  
“But...?”  
  
“But I don’t know.”  
  
“She broke your heart.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure I broke hers first....I just...” I look at the other woman again, “I thought she would fight for me, you know? For us. When we were in therapy I was so hopeful by the end that things were finally on the right track. It honestly felt like they were. And then....she just gave up on us.”  
  
I feel Amelia’s hand slide over my shoulder, and she squeezes firmly, letting a short silence settle between us.  
  
“She might have been a little slow to catch up, but sounds like she’s ready to fight for you now. You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”  
  
My answer is immediate and slips easily from my lips.  
  
“So much.”  
  
She squeezes my shoulder again reassuringly.  
  
“So, let her fight for you. You’re allowed to be guarded, Arizona, but you can be hopeful too.”  
  
I raise my eyebrow slightly, studying her.  
  
“Are you being optimistic? Where’s Amelia Shepherd and what have you done with her?”  
  
She narrows her eyes playfully.  
  
“Shut up. I may be  _slightly_  less dark and pessimistic than previously known. Blah blah something about life experience.”  
  
I just grin. God, I didn’t even know I missed her, but I am so glad to have this woman back in my life.  
  
“But you know, if you still love her and you want to be with her, then why not give her another shot? I’m not saying you should fall immediately back into a relationship with her, but,” she drops her hand from my shoulder, shrugging, “if she’s willing to pursue you after several months of being divorced, sounds like there could still be something there.”  
  
I muse over her words, thinking about dinner the other night. There  _was_  still an unmistakeable spark between us. I felt it, and I’m pretty sure she was feeling it too. And the fact that Callie had approached me for once was a definite change. I feel like I’ve always been the one to chase her, to desperately try and make things right after we fought or separated or battled through our issues.  
  
“I mean, don’t make it easy though.”  
  
Her voice pulls me back from my thoughts, and I look at her again.  
  
“What?”  
  
She checks her watch, then takes a few steps around me to toss her empty coffee cup in the nearby garbage.  
  
“Don’t make it easy. She’s the one who gave up on the marriage, right? So she’s gotta prove that she wants you back. That she’s gonna fight this time.”  
  
“I’m really not into playing high school games...I’m too old for that.”  
  
She just grins as she pulls a hair tie from her pocket and reaches up to scoop dark hair into a ponytail.  
  
“I didn’t say games. I’m just saying Dr. Gillis has been talking about you a  _lot_  lately. She was in with me and Karev on that 12-year-old’s neuroendoscopy last week and I spent a good couple hours of my time hearing about how fantastic and inspirational and,” she makes exaggerated swoony eyes, “wonderful you are.”  
  
She leans in, a cheeky grin on her face.  
  
“a.k.a. pretty sure she’s got the hots for you.”  
  
Oh god. I can feel a slight blush starting to colour my neck. We’d gone out once! And it wasn’t even a date. I had dinner with her because she’s new to the hospital and she’s in Peds and I was being friendly.  
  
“So, I’m just saying,” she straightens up again, laughing a little at my reaction, “Don’t make it too easy on the ex. She’s gotta earn it. If cute new doctor acts on her crush, don’t think you can’t enjoy it. I know you want Callie back, but there’s no reason not to leave your options open.”  
  
Maybe she’s right, but if Callie and I  _are_  going to make things work again I don’t want to waste any more time, either. We’ve done enough of that.  
  
“You’re worth it, Arizona. And if Callie’s not an idiot, she’ll see that. The you I used to know  _always_  knew that – so don’t forget it now.”  
  
She heads off down the hall toward the elevators, and I toss my empty cup and head up towards Herman’s office, where I’m meeting her to go over some more incoming cases. It would be so easy to fall back into a relationship with Callie now that she’d opened this door – from the moment I met her she’d been my biggest weakness. She looks at me with her dark, beautiful eyes, and I just can’t help but want to _be_  with her. Maybe Amelia is right though. And Alex, with what he said the night before our date. She’s the love of my life and the mother of my child, but...I’ve had to earn my way back to her more than once over the years. Maybe it would be nice to know she’s willing to do the same.

 

  
*

 

  
“Dr. Robbins!”  
  
Later that afternoon, I sign off on my chart and look up towards the sound of someone calling my name, smiling at the brunette making her way towards me.  
  
“Arizona.”  
  
Laura Gillis smiles as she approaches the nurses’ station, reaching around me slightly to set her tablet into the charger on the desk, “How was your surgery this morning? I saw it on the board. Sounded pretty intense.”  
  
“It was. But it went really well. The mother should be fine to go home in a few days actually; everything is looking great with the baby right now.”  
  
I hand the chart to the nurse, leaning on the counter while the brunette signs off on a few things herself. She’s a nice woman – genuinely nice, from what I’ve seen so far – and talented too. A smart addition to the Peds department, and I really should commend the Chief on getting her to transfer in.  
  
“I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight.”  
  
I turn my head to look at her, momentarily caught off guard.  
  
“Hm?”  
  
The younger woman smiles confidently, raising her eyebrow ever so slightly.  
  
“I said, I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight?”  
  
Oh.  
  
Amelia  _had_  been right.  
  
“I...ah...I’m not really, right now. It’s complicated,” I reply lamely. I’ve so lost any game I ever had.  
  
She grins at me then, and I have to admit she  _is_  a beautiful woman. Wavy, dark brown hair pulled into a loose ponytail, hazel eyes, a slightly olive complexion that makes me think she must have some Spanish or Mediterranean blood in her. By all means, definitely good looking.  
  
“It’s just dinner, Arizona. I was thinking that little Greek restaurant a couple blocks down. It’s not like I’m going to expect you to come home with me after.”  
  
I laugh, grinning back at her.  
  
“Wow, so did I just totally misinterpret a very platonic invite to dinner?”  
  
The brunette’s eyes glance over me subtly, surprising me, and she leans in a little closer.  
  
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t  _want_  you to come home with me after, I said I wouldn’t expect it. But I’d really like to take you to dinner either way.”  
  
What the hell. I want Callie, and I want to give our relationship another chance, but I don’t owe her anything. And I don’t know where any of that is going right now. I think of Amelia’s words and make a quick decision; enjoying this woman’s company is certainly better than being miserable at home.  
  
As I make up my mind a smile tugs at my lips, and I meet the other woman’s eyes.  
  
“I’m off at 6. What time do you want to meet?”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I watch the unfamiliar brunette talking to Arizona at the nurses’ station. Alex had paged me for a consult on a kid with a broken shoulder, but as I approached the Peds floor I heard Arizona’s laughter and now I’m watching the blonde smile at this woman with....with an almost flirty look on her face.  
  
Scratch that. My eyes narrow a little as I see the brunette slide a hand over Arizona’s forearm, and Arizona leans in closer, giving her what is  _definitely_  a flirty smile.  
  
I know that smile. I’ve been the recipient of that smile. That smile has gotten me into bed more times than I can  _count._  
  
“Yo, Torres, about time.”  
  
I jump slightly at the gruff voice approaching behind me and slide back around the corner.  
  
“Alex, shut up!” I hiss, keeping my voice low.  
  
The younger attending comes to a stop in front of me, giving me an annoyed look.  
  
“Dude, what’s your problem? I paged you...” he trails off as he notices my line of sight, and takes in the two women still over at the nurses’ station. A knowing smirk comes over his face as he looks back at me.  
  
“I thought your date went well the other night.”  
  
“It  _did_ ,” I glance over at Arizona again to see her laughing at something else the younger woman has said, “I mean, I thought it did. And I called her the next morning...who is that?”  
  
He looks over again.  
  
“Gillis. She’s gonna be my new Peds fellow. She’s good.”  
  
I feel a slight scowl tugging at my mouth.  
  
“She’s hot too,” he adds.  
  
I make what I’m sure is a frustrated sound and shove my hands into the pockets of my lab coat.  
  
“ _That’s_  Dr. Gillis? Laura Gillis? Ugh, she is hot.”  
  
“Looks like Robbins thinks so too. Now come on, knock it off with the jealous rage. I got a kid waiting.”  
  
He strides through the doors, looking at me expectantly, and I follow him onto the Peds floor and down the hall towards the patient rooms. I glance at Arizona as we pass, as the other woman walks away, and she smiles at me. I swallow hard and force myself to return the smile as we round the corner, but the feelings rising inside of me are unlike anything I’ve felt before when it comes to her. I never considered myself a jealous person, but seeing her talking and laughing and flirting with that woman just...it stirs something ugly inside me. I growl in frustration and run a hand through my hair, pulling myself together before I follow Alex into the patient’s room.  
  
It was  _not_  supposed to go like this.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my readers! Your comments and/or criticisms are always appreciated.

**_Callie_ **

  
I spend the rest of the evening working with Alex; turned out his kid really did have a nasty break, and we managed to get him into the OR right away by some stroke of luck. It was an easy surgery, all things considered, but it still felt good to be doing  _some_ thing to keep my mind off Arizona and that new resident.  
  
“So Arizona and...Dr. Gillis...are they close or?” I tried to be casual about my questioning as we scrubbed out, clearing my throat a little, “I’m just curious. She seems...uh, kinda...cool.”   
  
Way to be lame, Torres.  
  
“Robbins and Gillis? They’re friendly I guess, yeah. That’s not really what you’re asking though, is it.”  
  
Alex rinses his arms and looks over at me pointedly. He never was one to mince words. I finish rinsing my own hands and sigh, releasing the foot petal and turning the water off. I had every right to be jealous; Arizona and I had gone on a date, we’d decided to try things again! And now she decides to go off and flirt with another young, hot woman like it was no big deal. Maybe I’d missed my chance; maybe this was all a waste of time.  
  
“Dude, come on. They were flirting. Big deal.”  
  
“It  _is_  a big deal, Alex! I thought we were fixing things...we talked...I mean, maybe I shouldn’t even bother if she wants to date other people. That’s fine.”  
  
I grab a towel and dry my hands and arms roughly, feeling frustrated and more than a little discouraged. I head towards the door to exit the scrub room, tugging my cap off, but the other surgeon steps in front of me and pushes the door shut.  
  
“Torres, listen. You think Robbins wants to date other people? If she’d wanted to, I’m sure she woulda had no trouble picking up women the last three months. She  _wants_  to date you. She actually liked being married to you. You’re the one who decided to toss in the towel, you know.”  
  
My jaw clenches slightly as I try to push past him, unsuccessfully. He may be Arizona’s friend, but this was  _not_  his business.  
  
“Alex, you don’t know anything that went on between us. Shut up.”  
  
The younger man gives me an incredulous look, crossing his arms to reinforce his stance in front of the door.  
  
“Oh yeah? Whose shoulder do you think she cried on? Who do you think gets to listen to her be all sad and crazy after she plows through half my beers? You know I live with her, right? I swear, between her and Mere I’m a freakin' certified shrink by now.”  
  
His words give me pause, and I fumble internally for what to respond. I never...I never pictured what Arizona had gone through after we’d separated. I guess I’d chosen not to picture it, honestly. I thought she'd feel better not being tied down.  
  
“She cried?”  
  
Clearly not the wisest words to spring from my mouth, because Alex gives me a look of utter disbelief...and a little disgust. He's more protective of her than I'd thought.  
  
“Yeah. So you don’t get to be jealous here because you saw her flirting with another chick. If you’re serious about her, then you show her. Until then, she’s gonna live her life, Torres. She had to figure out how to do that without you.”  
  
He turns and yanks the door open, heading out and leaving me standing there to contemplate his words.  
  
I need to show her.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
I’m sitting in a lovely little restaurant, with a gorgeous, funny, engaging woman in front of me, and...I can’t stop thinking about how wrong it feels. Because I'm thinking about Callie. I close my eyes for a brief moment and set my wine glass down, unintentionally interrupting my date's next sentence.  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m not being fair to you.”  
  
She pauses, looking over at me curiously.  
  
“What?”  
  
Letting out a soft breath, I figure I may as well lay all my cards on the table.  
  
“I’m not being fair to you. I can't do this. I shouldn’t have agreed to dinner tonight, to...” I motion my hand between us vaguely, “to a date. Because let’s face it, that’s definitely what this is. The truth is, I’m still very much in love with my ex-wife, and we may or may not be starting to reconcile...and just honestly? That’s what I want, not this. You’re a beautiful, smart woman, and I’m not going to do this to you.”  
  
I cut off my slightly harried ramble -- I hadn't really intended to share  _that_  much with this woman who was practically a stranger -- and just shake my head a little, watching her.  
  
“So I should probably just go.”  
  
Her hand darts out to land on top of mine, and I look down at it, staring.  
  
“Arizona, wait. You don’t have to go.”  
  
I look up and meet her eyes, and although I expected to see annoyance and maybe even anger, she just gives me a half smile instead.  
  
“I get it. People...” she pauses a little, almost sheepishly, “people gossip a  _lot_  around the hospital. I know you and Dr. Torres were together for a long time. And you have a kid, right? I get that that's a big deal."  
  
I just nod a little, letting out a sigh.  
  
"We have a little girl. I miss her."  
  
Laura smiles sympathetically and squeezes my hand.  
  
"I mean if  _I’m_  being honest here? Yeah I hoped the gossip was wrong and you’d maybe be interested in me. I mean....you’re hot.”  
  
She pulls her hand away, laughing. Probably at my stunned look.  
  
“You’re really hot. And I mean, you're kind of amazing from what I've heard. So I had to try, right? But I get it.”  
  
I laugh a little now too, feeling kind of embarrassed, but also just relieved at her completely unexpected reaction after I basically blew her off.  
  
“I am sorry though, really. If circumstances were different I definitely would have been enjoying this date," I tell her. And it's true -- six years ago this would have been an entirely different story.  
  
She grins at me, flipping her hair back a little.  
  
“Oh, I know. And hey, if you wanna make the ex  _jealous_ , I’m still totally game....” she waggles her eyebrows suggestively.  
  
I let out a half laugh again, sitting back in the chair.  
  
“I’m not sure that would help me any. But I’m flattered by the...um..offer?”  
  
Laura gives me a teasing smile again before reaching for her glass, sliding it over to wrap her hands around it. She watches me for a minute and then all sexy confidence aside, she speaks cautiously.  
  
“Can we...I’d like to be friends, though. At least professionally. I really did come out to Seattle mostly because of you – I’ve followed your career, and the things I read about you, well...you really have been an inspiration, Dr. Robbins. I hope this won't make things weird now.”  
  
The younger woman sounds earnest in her request, and I find myself glad that this hasn’t become as awkward as it could have been.  
  
“Of course we can,” I smile, and she returns it happily, “And you can still call me Arizona, you know."

 

  
*

 

  
I try calling Amelia on my way home from dinner, but after getting her voicemail for the third time I leave a frustrated message and drop the phone into the bottom of my purse. I glance down at it, briefly contemplating calling Callie, but I think better of it and just pull into the driveway at Alex’s house silently, the darkness engulfing the car as I park. I’ll dissect this on my own, I’m better at that anyway. I climb out tiredly; I hadn't realized it until tonight, but the emotions of the last few days are starting to take their toll. Good emotions, mostly, but a little overwhelming all the same.  
  
I head in towards the house but stop at the porch when I see the woman sitting on the top step. Callie is there, a sleeping Sofia resting in her arms, and she rises to her feet when she sees me.  
  
“I need to say something.”  
  
“Callie...?” I make my way up the steps and lean around to see my daughter’s sleeping face, running my hand over her hair. I kiss her cheek softly, not wanting to wake the girl, and lower my voice, “What are you two doing here? It’s late. Is everything ok?”  
  
“I need to say something,” she repeats, turning to meet my eyes, “and I need you to listen, please. I couldn’t wait.”  
  
I stand back and nod, watching her under the dim lights of the porch, studying her face. It's almost 11 o'clock at night -- I can't help but wonder how long she's been out here.  
  
“I love you, Arizona. I  _love_  you – like huge, sweeping, shout it from the rooftops, fireworks kind of love. I love the way your eyes change when you smile at me...and the way you say my name, the way you make it sound beautiful. I love the way you always wake up with incredibly messy and adorable bed hair...it's so incredibly sexy...and I love the way you used to leave me messages in the steam on the mirror after my shower. And the little post-it notes you stick to the side of my night stand when you have to leave before me in the morning, or in the middle of the night. So I see them first thing when I roll over.”  
  
She pauses, shifting her hold on Sofia a little, and wipes at her eyes.  
  
“I love,  _love_  the way you are with our daughter. You’re such an amazing mother. I love that you took Spanish classes because you wanted her to grow up speaking both. And how you check for monsters without her even asking. And the way you treat your patients...like they were your own kids. How you make every one of them feel safe,” she looks at me, her eyes filled with tears now, a shy smile grazing her lips, “And I love that you always play with your necklace when you’re thinking, or reading, or just lost in thought over something.”  
  
I am shocked at her declarations, and I’m sure my face betrays it as I stare at the beautiful brunette in front of me. I glance down and realize my fingers have been searching for an absent necklace along my chest...I never even noticed that habit myself.  
  
“Callie...”  
  
“I’m in love with you, Arizona. I should have told you these things a long time ago. Every day. I should have told you a lot of things.”  
  
I swallow back tears of my own, determined not to let them fall. This all feels so overwhelming. The last week...and now this, her declarations of love that I so desperately wanted to hear when we were in therapy, but that she could seemingly never bring herself to speak out loud. I don’t...I don’t know that I’m ready to hear them right now.   
  
“Please say something.”  
  
I look up from where I had my gaze trained on Sofia, my thoughts suddenly interrupted. Callie’s eyes are dark with emotion, the porch lights illuminating her pleading face. She looks utterly spent and heartbroken.   
  
“I need  _you_  to listen, Callie. Okay?” I step closer, sliding my hand onto her arm, “It’s getting cool out here, so we’re going to take Sofia inside, and then we’re going to sit down and I need you to listen to  _me_. No restaurants, no dates, no...therapists. Just right here like this. No pretenses.”  
  
She gives me a tiny nod, and I carefully take Sofia from her, knowing the girl has to be getting heavy in her arms – she’s been growing so fast. I settle her weight against me, murmuring soothingly to her when she shifts and presses her tiny face to my neck.  
  
“Come on,” I unlock the door and guide Callie inside quietly, unconsciously letting my hand slip to her lower back. A rush of emotion floods my mind at the familiar action, and I let out a breath to try and calm myself.  
  
I’m not really sure what's going to come next.

 


	7. Chapter 7

_**Arizona** _

 

I carry Sofia through the quiet house and up the stairs, heading to my bedroom at the end of the hall. The hallway is dark and quiet, and I know both Alex and Jo are on shift tonight – which I’m suddenly thankful for. Crossing the now-familiar bedroom, I flip on the bedside lamp and gently lay the sleeping girl in the middle of the bed, pulling the blankets over her. I just watch her for a moment as she shifts and settles in, her arms tightening around Dino, and I can’t stop myself from reaching down and softly running my palm along her cheek. She’s my beautiful girl. She looks so much like her mother sometimes it kills me.

“I’m glad she’s a heavy sleeper.”  
  
Callie’s soft voice from the doorway interrupts my thoughts, and I look back at her with a small smile, straightening up.  
  
“Guess she gets that from both of us, huh? Mark was a surprisingly delicate sleeper,” I laugh as I remember how he’d grumble and complain about Lexi’s every movement keeping him up some nights.  
  
Her smile is a bit nostalgic for a moment, and she just nods.  
  
“It’s true. Definitely from us.”  
  
I shrug off my cardigan and toss it onto the back of the chair in the corner, and slip off my shoes, tiredly rubbing a spot on my hip. It was a long day on my feet today and I’m suddenly very aware of the slight throb in my left leg. The room has fallen silent, and I glance back over at Callie in the dim light.  
  
“You can come in, you know. It’s alright.”  
  
She bites her lip a little and hesitates, but then crosses the threshold into the room.  
  
“I...wasn’t sure.”  
  
I nod in understanding, carefully settling on the bed and sitting back against the headboard beside Sofia.  
  
“It’s okay. Can we just sit upstairs? It’s been a long day.”  
  
The brunette slips off her flats by the side of the bed and climbs up to sit on the other side of the child in the middle, pushing up the long sleeves of her t-shirt. She leans back against the headboard too, and turns her head to look at me, a swirl of emotions in her dark brown eyes.  
  
“I just couldn’t wait. I wasted so much time not telling you anything, and it just all sort of hit me the last few days....I just needed you to  _know._ ”  
  
I turn away, training my gaze on the wall opposite the bed, and just sit there quietly for a moment. Her speech from outside invades my mind again, and if it’s true...if she really meant all those things – my heart clenches painfully – does that mean we might actually end up together again? Does it mean we’re _supposed_  to end up together? I want so badly to believe she’s being sincere, but I also don’t want to let myself get hurt again. I still love her so much...if I let her back in now, and then lose her again, I honestly don’t know if I could take it.  
  
“Arizona?” she whispers, drawing my glance back to her briefly.  
  
“I love you too, Callie,” I murmur and face forward again, my head resting back on the headboard, “I do, I never stopped. And I don’t know if you did, if you...fell out of love with me – but you should know that, too.”  
  
“I nev-- ”  
  
“Sh,” I shake my head, silencing her so I can speak, but also because I don’t think I can hear what she was about to say without bursting into tears, “We aired our dirty laundry when we were in therapy, I think we can both agree on that. We let it all out, we downright fought. But now...just listen, ok?”  
  
Quiet falls over us again, and I can see her slight nod in my peripheral vision. Glancing down at our daughter, I smooth a hand over her blanket lightly, just watching the rise and fall of her chest.  
  
“I want to be with you. But there are things I want...need...if that’s going to work. And I feel like we’ve talked and we’ve talked about these things before, so maybe we are just a lost cause like you said. But then you come here and tell me you still love me, and I can’t...I can’t not keep fighting for us. Never in my life have I wanted to fight for something so much, Callie.”  
  
I nervously play with the edge of the blanket, carefully considering my next words. We’ve discussed the same things, the same problems, so many times now – we brought them out in therapy, we had a professional shove them in our faces to no avail. Yet somehow, something feels different about tonight. Maybe our relationship did need to be brutally, heartbreakingly ripped apart before we could reach this point.  
  
“I want to be able to speak to you when something’s on my mind, without you interrupting. I don’t think you always mean to do it, but you do, and sometimes I just want to be able to say something and know that you actually hear it. Know that you actually care what I’m saying and feeling.”  
  
I brush back baby-soft hair from Sofia’s face, feeling surprisingly calm now that I’ve started talking.  
  
“And I want you to stop telling me how I feel. How I should feel. About my leg, about kids, about the miscarriage – I know we don’t always process things the same way, we never did – but I want you to stop telling me how  _you_  think I should deal with things. Because that hurts,” I glance up to find her watching me, an emotion I can’t quite read in her eyes, “and what I want...need...from a partner is for her to support me while I deal with things, big or small. Not to feel like I can’t come to her with my feelings because they don’t align with hers, or because she doesn’t want to see me that way.”  
  
She swallows hard, and goes to speak before closing her mouth and cutting herself off silently. I just nod, appreciative that she actually seems to be listening, and run my hand back through my loose hair.  
  
“I want you to actually be supportive. When this fellowship came up, you were immediately upset about it, Callie. Which I get – to a degree, I can understand where you were coming from. But at the same time, it was something huge for me, and you never even said congratulations. Not once.”  
  
I turn my head to look at her now, and see the flicker of realization on her face.  
  
“And that wasn't the first time you haven't, either. I love my career. I always have, and I always will. I want to do more than be a good surgeon, I want to be an  _amazing_ , successful, sought-after surgeon. But that doesn’t mean I can’t also have everything else, too.”  
  
My hand is resting on Sofia’s side now, and I rub her small form lightly, almost unconsciously. It always comforts her...but in some ways, it comforts me, too.  
  
“But there’s only time for so much...”  
  
The words slip from Callie’s mouth in a whisper, as her eyes drop down to the child between us.  
  
“You make time, Callie.”  
  
I pause, shifting a little so I can comfortably face her while leaning my shoulder into the headboard.  
  
“I want you to trust when I say I’ll make time. When I said I would always make time for us, and for Sofia. For another child – I meant it, Callie. I didn’t give up running my Peds department because I needed the time professionally, and I didn’t give it up for you either. I gave it up because  _I wanted_  the time to be a wife and a mother and to be with my family. I wanted that.”  
  
She meets my eyes and holds them, studying me.  
  
“You kept telling me I was going to resent you for making me give it up, that I didn’t really want to go through with the surrogacy. The reality was that I’ve changed over the last five years. I’m still an ambitious person – maybe to a fault – but my goals aren’t all professional anymore. And that’s because of you, yeah, but it’s a change I cherished, not resented.”  
  
I stay silent for a few minutes, watching her brow furrow in thought as she drops her eyes. I can tell she’s itching to say something in response, but yet, she doesn’t. She just contemplates my words, and for once I feel like maybe something I say is finally sinking in.  
  
“I want you to trust  _me_ , too.” I wait for her to look up again, and meet her eyes across the bed, “I don’t think you do. And maybe I don’t deserve it – maybe that’s the one thing I irreparably damaged between us – but I wish...I wish that you would. I want you to trust that I love you, and trust that I love our family. That I won’t hurt you intentionally.”  
  
I turn away from her for a moment, steadying myself silently before I meet her eyes again.  
  
“I still have dark days, Callie...days when it takes everything I have to pull myself out of bed and away from the nightmares and the pain, to just function at all. Days when I’m...not as nice a person as I want to be.”  
  
Brown eyes swim with tears suddenly, and she takes an audible breath, trying to will them back.  
  
“And I’ve accepted that those days might never go away, no matter how happy I am again. I want you to be able to understand that, and to trust that even on those days...it doesn’t change how I feel.”  
  
I sit back again, looking up at the ceiling, my hand coming to rub at the dull ache in my left thigh. I wish I could make that part of me go away – I wish it with everything I have some days – but it’s who I am now. Sometimes it feels like there’s been so much loss in my life that I can’t handle it anymore, that it’s made me this horrible, bitter person. I’m terrified that it could come between us again someday.  
  
“I understand that now.”  
  
Her voice is low, and soft in the quietness of the room. Her tone is gentle, but in the way I used to love, not with patronising layers.  
  
I turn to look at her again, and ask just as softly.  
  
“Do you?”  
  
She nods, keeping her eyes trained on my face.  
  
“I do, Arizona. I...” she stumbles slightly over her words, but keeps the same, gentle tone in her voice, “there were so many dark days.  _So_  many. And I’ve come to realize that one of the biggest mistakes I made was taking them personally. Thinking that they meant you didn’t care about me, didn’t love me anymore. Or that you were punishing me. That you didn’t want me around.”  
  
I swallow thickly, finding it hard to respond to that admission.  
  
“Never for a minute did I not want you around.”  
  
“And I’m sorry that’s how I reacted...I should have known better...”  
  
At that I shake my head, interrupting the other woman firmly.  
  
“No more apologies, Callie.”  
  
Her brow furrows, and she looks at me with confusion written all over her face.  
  
“What?”  
  
“No more ‘I’m sorry’s,” I repeat, and I mean the words wholeheartedly, “We’ve each apologized for things we did, which we needed to – don’t get me wrong – but we can’t keep apologizing for the same things over and over.”  
  
She considers my statement for a minute before nodding in agreement.  
  
“You’re right.”  
  
The bed between us shifts a little as Sofia rolls over and snuggles into the blanket more, giving off an adorable, innocent sigh. Both our gazes travel down to her, and as I watch her nose wrinkle and then relax back into a deep sleep, I’m just...overwhelmed with emotion.  
  
“Can I say some things too?” Callie asks suddenly, breaking the silence that had settled between us. Her tone wasn’t demanding, or laced with annoyance; she spoke with a sincerity that I hadn’t heard from her in a long time.  
  
And so I nod, still watching Sofia.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“I want you to understand that I’m....I’m a person who always wants to help,” she shakes her head a little, “not help, but...I want to do things for you. I want to open doors, and carry things, and help you out of the tub or up off the floor after you’ve been playing with Sofia. I want to hold your hand when we walk, wrap my arm around your waist and let you lean into me. And it’s not because of your leg – it’s not because I think you can’t do them, because I know you can do all of these things yourself. It’s because I  _like_  doing them.”  
  
I look at her as she speaks, surprised that that’s the first thing she’s bringing up. It hadn’t really occurred to me.  
  
“And when you’ve had a long day, and I know your muscles are aching, I want to help you lessen that pain. I  _want_  to, not as your doctor but as...your partner. Who cares about you. I’ve always been this way, Arizona, and you know that. It’s just my nature to do everything I can for those I love. I want you to be able to accept that and to  _let_  me.”  
  
I nod a little, understanding what she’s saying. After the crash...I felt like an invalid. And I was desperate that she wouldn’t see me as one too, so every offer of help, however innocuous, I perceived as something done out of pity. Because she had to. Because she thought I couldn’t handle it. In reality – it was true that she’d just always been that person.  
  
_“Give me your hand,” a strong arm reaches down toward the bathtub as I go to push myself out, and I laugh at her, smiling up at her face.  
  
“It’s okay, it’s just been so comfy I don’t want to get out.”  
  
She grasps my hand anyway from the side of the tub as I shift up, and gives a gentle, steadying tug to help me to my feet amidst the leftover bubbles. Leaning in to kiss me, she reaches back for one of the biggest, fluffiest towels I’ve ever seen outside of a hotel, and she holds it out for me to step into.  
  
And I do, stepping carefully out of the water and letting her envelope me in both the towel and a warm embrace. Her lips press lightly against my bare shoulder, and she murmurs something in Spanish – the first time I’ve heard her speak it outside of ranting to her father.  
  
“What did you say?” I tilt my head to see her, smiling.  
  
One arm wraps more securely around me, almost possessively, and she tucks the towel into place with her free hand.  
  
“You’re beautiful.”_  
  
“And I want you to tell me how you feel...” her voice interrupts my memory of that moment years ago, “how you feel about me.”  
  
I meet her eyes again, watching something flicker through them.  
  
“I have...”  
  
“You did....but...you didn’t very often,” she looks at me almost nervously, but her voice carries no hint of judgement, “You told me you loved me, and you were always good at showing it – I knew you did. But you just...didn’t always say it often. Sometimes Mark used to tell me the things you’d say to him.”  
  
She shakes her head a little and lets her gaze drop to the bed, almost uncharacteristically self-conscious from the woman I met years ago. It hits me suddenly that maybe I've done that to her, made her feel like she's something less -- and that thought makes me physically ache.  
  
“That you told him I was beautiful, that you found me amazing. And it sounds selfish...I realize this maybe sounds egotistical coming out now...but I want to hear those things from  _you_ , Arizona. The things you feel about me, if you love me...I just want to hear it. I’m a person who needs to hear it.”  
  
“Calliope...” her full name falls from my lips, barely audible. She’d brought it up during a teary therapy session, asked why I couldn’t have said all those things before about why I loved her, but I had assumed she just meant over the past six months we’d been having trouble. I hadn’t realized that it was bigger than that.  
  
“I just, I like to hear it. You know? When I love someone I like to give my affections freely – and I know we’re different that way, I know you feel things and just don’t always say them, but that’s something that means a lot to me.”  
  
I reach over instinctually, letting my fingers slide under her chin to tilt her eyes back up to mine. She meets them, surprised, and I let my touch linger just a moment.  
  
“That’s something I could do. But Callie...please, please know that I always felt those things. If I didn’t say them, I  _always_  felt them.”  
  
She gives me a small smile as my hand drops away.  
  
“I know.”  
  
We sit in a somewhat comfortable silence for awhile, both leaning back against the headboard once more, Sofia’s soft rustling the only sound in the room besides our own breathing. It feels...good, to have said these things to her. And to have said them without judgement, or interruption, or anger, or tears. I glance quickly her way before diverting my eyes forward again. Maybe if we can just be honest with each other, we can take back what I think we both so desperately want.  
  
“I should go...” she speaks after a long while, noticing the clock over on the dresser, “you’re on early shifts this week.”  
  
I look at the clock and see it’s already past one o’clock in the morning. It didn’t seem like we’d been sitting here for more than an hour. I make a sudden decision and speak, and I hope it’s not something either of us will come to regret.  
  
“Why don’t you just stay?”  
  
Her eyes snap up to mine, surprise evident even in the dim light.  
  
“Just sleep here, it’s okay. I don’t want you driving home alone this late...and that way Sofia won’t wake up. You know how cranky she can be in the morning if she doesn’t get all her sleep. And she has clothes here.”  
  
Callie chuckles a little, looking down at the tiny girl.  
  
“Yeah, the cranky I am familiar with.”  
  
I smile too, shifting myself up to sit on the edge of the bed.  
  
“I’m just going to...ah...change and get this leg off though.”  
  
Realization flashing across her face, Callie climbs up quickly, careful enough not to disturb the sleeping child, and heads for the door.  
  
“Oh um, yeah...yeah of course, I’ll just head down to the couch. Thanks.”  
  
“Callie.”  
  
The other woman stops in her tracks and looks over, and I just shake my head with an amused smile.  
  
“You don’t have to sleep on the couch. We’ll have Sofia as a buffer, we’re both exhausted, let’s just crash.”  
  
After nodding slowly, she comes back around the other side of the bed, and I toss her an extra pair of pajama pants. We both turn our backs to each other like it’s some kind of high school sleepover, and I quickly change into pajama shorts and an old t-shirt, sighing in relief as I sit back down and ease my leg off. I prop it beside the nightstand and carefully shift under the covers beside Sofia – who is blissfully not even stirring. As I settle down though, she somehow instinctively shifts toward me and snuggles in close, her cheek coming to rest on my shoulder. I kiss the top of her head and wrap my arm around her happily, yawning as I feel Callie slip in the other side of the bed.  
  
She looks over at us, and reaches out to smooth her hand down Sofia’s back, tugging the blanket up over herself a little more as she settles in. I know she’s purposefully keeping to the very edge of the bed, but I’m honestly too tired at this point to think too much about what’s happening right now. Between the overwhelming emotions of the last week – and the last hour – my body and mind are just beat. I reach over with my free arm and tug the cord on the lamp, plunging the room into darkness, and then with a light sigh, I finally let my eyes drift shut.  
  
“Goodnight, Callie,” I murmur, nuzzling my daughter’s impossibly soft hair as I snuggle in even more.  
  
“So what happens now, though?” she asks quietly, and I open my eyes to look over in her direction.  
  
Truth is, I’m not really sure what happens now. But I feel like tonight was a turning point of sorts. And being here, with her...it feels right.  
  
“Tomorrow...you ask me on a second date.”  
  
There’s a long pause in the darkness but after several breaths I hear her voice, soft and filled with what I can only describe as genuine affection.  
  
“Goodnight, Arizona.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**_Callie_ **

  
When I wake up the next morning it takes me a minute to blink the sleep from my eyes and remember where I am.  
  
I'm in Arizona's bed.  
  
Except – I roll from my stomach to glance at the other side of the bed – she's not here. I pull her pillow over tentatively and burrow my nose into it, the familiar scent sending a wave of calm through me. It's cool to the touch, so I'm guessing she slipped out awhile ago. I can't blame her for wanting to avoid any morning awkwardness. This is going to be weird enough if I run into Alex or Jo.  
  
I roll over to climb up from the bed, and my eyes land on something that makes my heart skip a beat – a pink post-it note is stuck to the side of the nightstand. Smiling widely, I reach out and pluck it off.  
  
 _Hope you slept well – I know I did. I took Sofia to preschool. See you soon._  
  
I run my thumb over the familiar handwriting and think about everything that happened last night. It feels like we had a real, genuine conversation for the first time in...well, years, if I'm honest. I wish we hadn't screwed things up this badly – I wish we didn't need to fix things. I'd known from the beginning that Arizona would be my one great love, had felt it after only a few months, and when I think of all the time we've wasted it makes me physically ache.  
  
Rubbing a hand over my face I climb out of bed, sticking the post-it to the back of my phone. I actually did sleep really well; it's been awhile since that happened too. I quickly change back into my jeans, and grab a brush from the dresser to tame my hair back into a ponytail. Photos of Sofia litter the surface of the dresser – some framed and some just stuck along the edge of the mirror. Her favourite picture of Tim resides there too now, the two siblings smiling brightly on Arizona's med school graduation day. This has really become her home.  
  
Setting the brush back down, I notice the small glass dish holding a few pieces of Arizona's jewelry. Sitting in the bottom, side by side, lay her wedding ring and the sapphire I gave her when we moved into the house. I reach in and pick up the wedding band, fingering the cool metal between my fingers for a minute as I recall the day we got these.  
  
 _"Plain bands or would you like something more ornate?"  
  
Arizona looks at me as the saleswoman pulls out various styles of rings, smiling as she slips her hand around my waist.  
  
"What do you think, Calliope? I was picturing somewhat plain bands. Simple."  
  
Smiling happily, I gaze at my fiancée, then down at the rings out on display.  
  
"I was too," I pick out a few different rings from the velvet casing, inspecting them, and linger on the last one for a moment, "Something like these, maybe...a few diamonds along the band?"  
  
She takes it from me and inspects it, then lifts my left hand to slide it on, nestling it against the engagement ring she'd given me on the night we took Sofia home. It's too big on my finger, but other than that I think it looks perfect.  
  
"This is the one."_  
  
I drop the ring carefully back into the dish, absently running my thumb along my bare ring finger, and I realize that this can't be about winning my wife back – because I gave her up. And this can’t be about _fixing_  our marriage, because that marriage is over. This, what we're doing now? This is about making her want to marry me all over again.

 

  
*

 

  
I walk into the attendings’ locker room an hour later, and am surprised to see a familiar blonde figure alone by the last row of lockers. It’s been rare lately to see the Peds surgeon without her mentor or Amelia Shepherd trailing nearby. She looks over at the sound of the door and offers me a small smile, quickly pulling a new scrub top down over her head.  
  
“Hey,” I smile back, heading to my own locker across from hers, “how was your surgery this morning?”  
  
I pause, feeling a little bit sheepish at the fact that I’d pretty well memorised her schedule.  
  
“I, ah...saw it on the board yesterday.”  
  
She pulls her lab coat from the shelf and shrugs it back on.  
  
“It was more complicated than we expected. But we’re hoping mom and baby should still be okay.”  
  
“Good,” I nod, stuffing my bag into my own locker and pulling out the dark blue scrubs, “thanks for taking Sofia in this morning, by the way. I hope she was ok for you?”  
  
I glance over in time to see a grin light up her face, and she leans back against the row of lockers to face me.  
  
“She was fine. And the whole way there I heard about Megan? Her...girlfriend, apparently?”  
  
The look on her face is enough to make me burst into giggles, but I retain my composure best I can and nod seriously.  
  
“Oh, yeah. Megan is her girlfriend; it’s very serious. They’ve been together about a week.”  
  
Arizona just laughs at my dead-pan reply, but it quickly turns into a look of consternation and a slight groan as she leans her head back against the lockers.  
  
“I am not nearly ready to even think about the day she starts dating.”  
  
I turn my back to her and quickly slip off my jeans, pulling the scrub pants on and tightening the tie at the waist.  
  
“It’ll be ok, I can literally break every bone in her potential dates’ bodies. In the most painful way. And you can pull out the daughter-of-a-marine thing. I definitely wouldn’t mess with you.”  
  
I pull my top down, flipping my hair out from underneath, and I can feel her eyes on me even though she’s gone quiet. It’s both welcome and... making me feel a little self-conscious. I slip my stethoscope around my neck and glance over my shoulder to see that she’s taken a few steps closer and she’s watching me, blue eyes bright and studious, and her tone has completely changed when she speaks suddenly.  
  
“I need to know that you’re 100% sure about this.”  
  
I pause slightly, but I know what she’s talking about. I thought last night made it obvious enough, but I meet her eyes and hold them without hesitation.  
  
“Arizona, I am 100% sure.”  
  
“Because I can’t...if you’re not sure, then I can’t do this,” she takes another step closer, eyes still searching mine, “You are the love of my life, Callie,” she sighs almost imperceptibly, gaze never wavering, “I can’t lose you again...I just...I can’t do this if I’m going to lose you again...”  
  
“Arizona,” I watch as she licks her lips slightly, her expression unreadable, “I know I’ve said this before, but I have  _never_  been more sure of anything.”  
  
The words have barely left my mouth when strong hands reach up to grasp the back of my head and suddenly she’s right there, body flush against mine and her scent enveloping me, her breath warm on my lips as she utters a single word.  
  
“Good.”  
  
Her lips crash into mine and her deft fingers thread through my hair as she presses me against the lockers behind us. There’s no hesitation as she deepens the kiss, the sudden overwhelming taste of her breaking through my initial shock. I kiss her back, impassioned, my hands coming up to grip her lab coat and pull her even closer. I feel her hands slide down to cup my jaw, and a small groan escapes my throat as she continues her exploration, soft tongue stroking mine as she kisses without abandon – kisses like she’s never going to stop.  
  
But only a few minutes later the shrill sound of a pager bursts the bubble and she pulls back quickly, only one hand leaving my face as she reaches down and glances at the tiny screen before silencing it.  
  
“I have to go,” she murmurs, pressing her lips against mine again in a heated, lingering kiss, her fingers trailing softly down my neck before she steps back entirely.  
  
She grabs her stethoscope and hooks it around her neck, and shooting me a last glance over her shoulder, she’s gone.  
  
And I am grinning like an idiot.

 

  
*

 

  
Several hours later I find myself sitting in the cafeteria, half eaten lunch in front of me and still thinking about this morning. I’m probably smiling to myself like a crazy person – but I find that I really don’t care. Arizona kissed me. And there is nothing I want more in the world than for her to continue to do so.  
  
A tray slides onto the table across from me and I look up with a grin, expecting to see the blonde in question. I’m surprised to see that it’s actually the younger doctor Shepherd who’s unceremoniously dropping into the seat, an amused smile on her face.  
  
“This seat taken? It’s Callie, right?”  
  
“Uh...yeah. And no, it isn’t. You’re fine.”  
  
The brunette just grins, popping open the pre-packaged container of salad in front of her.  
  
“I thought we should get to know each other. I mean, we may end up working together at some point, obviously, but mostly because you and Arizona were a thing,” she glances at me, as if watching for my reaction, “ –are? Possibly again going to be a thing...? At any rate, you’re Sofia’s mom and I figure between hanging out with Meredith and Zola, and hanging out with Arizona, I’m bound to see your kid around too. So,” she flashes me a smile, stabbing a cherry tomato, “Amelia Shepherd. Nice to meet you.”  
  
I’ve really only seen Amelia in passing up until now – we haven’t had any patients together, and aside from hearing the hospital gossip and witnessing that one painful scene in the emergency room during her first week I can’t say I know much about her.  
  
“Right...okay. Callie Torres, nice to meet you too. I’ve heard a lot about you from Owen, and Meredith. It’s good to have you here.”  
  
“Thanks,” she eats a bite of salad, “it’s good to be here. It’s turning out better than expected.”  
  
“So you and Arizona have been hanging out? I guess with the whole Herman thing.”  
  
“Hm? Oh, we go back ages – it was a nice surprise to find out she worked here actually. She was probably my best friend during our residency.”  
  
My eyes snap up, a slight frown pulling at my lips.  
  
“Her brother Tim was her best friend.”  
  
Amelia shrugs a shoulder, taking another bite nonchalantly.  
  
“Yeah, he was. And I was her closest...non-childhood, non-related, female friend. Roommate too. Does that count?”  
  
I scan my memory for any mention of...I do vaguely recall Arizona mentioning an Amy, and occasionally an Amelia now that I think about it. I never would have thought it was this Amelia though. I’d never seen pictures. Or heard her mentioned between Arizona and Derek. Weird.  
  
The other woman interrupts my thoughts again, her voice a little less brash this time.  
  
“She still doesn’t talk much about her residency, does she?”  
  
I shake my head a little, taking a small bite of my own lunch, more for something to do with my hands than anything else.  
  
“Hardly ever. It was...a rough few years for her.”  
  
She nods in understanding.  
  
“Yeah. I mean we were just getting started, fresh off the intern boat when....after that, she kind of became a horror show. I mean don’t get me wrong; brilliant, star of the freakin’ hospital – and all the surrounding hospitals – but definitely kind of a horror show. She buried herself in research and surgeries and girls, and frankly I was a little surprised she came out the other side unscathed.”  
  
I really haven’t heard much about those years from Arizona – I’d asked, but it was never something she wanted to talk about. Or she would tell me something, but then skirt around the conversation and divert it to something else. I’d never pushed.  
  
“Thank god she didn’t have my coping mechanisms at least, right?” she gives a self-deprecating laugh.  
  
Offering her a tight smile, I pick up my water and take a drink. Who even is this woman?  
  
“Oh come on,” she leans her elbows on the table, “After your second time through rehab you’re allowed to joke about it. Everyone knows about it now anyway.”  
  
I study her for a minute – I mean, if she and Arizona are friends, she can’t be that bad, right?  
  
“I just never realized you guys were friends. Like you said...she doesn’t talk about it very much. How come you lost touch?”  
  
The neurosurgeon leans back and shrugs a little, a contemplative look striking her eyes.  
  
“Stuff happened. She came out here, I went back to New York, and then L.A. It was hard to keep in touch a lot. Busy, you know how it is.”  
  
I find myself immediately wanting to know what “stuff” was – and feeling a rising curiosity as to just _how_  close this woman was to my ex-wife.  
  
“So how close  _were_  you guys?”  
  
A teasing grin breaks out over Amelia’s face, and she laughs.  
  
“You’re asking if I know her in a biblical sense? That would be a no. Well,” she pauses, thoughtful, “actually just the once. But it was purely for comfort on her part and it was experimental on mine. I can tell you I definitely swung right back the other way. Didn’t do much for me.”  
  
“I don’t see how that’s even possible.”  
  
The words leave my mouth before I catch myself, and I feel a blush immediately rising over my skin. Amelia just laughs again good-naturedly, pointing her fork in my direction.  
  
“She was right about you. You’re great.”  
  
She finishes the last couple bites of her salad, checking the time on her phone.  
  
“Listen, unfortunately I have to run, but I’m serious, we should get to know each other. You seem funny. And Arizona  _really_  likes you, so it’d be nice. Besides, if nothing else I can tell you some fantastic drunk stories about her.”  
  
I watch as the brunette pushes her chair back and gathers her tray, piling her cup and plastic lid on top.  
  
“And I know I wasn’t around to witness the full story between you guys, but I see the way you’ve been looking at her, Callie. And I don’t think you’re stupid. So I guess what I mean is that I hope I have a good reason to get to know you.”  
  
I mull over our conversation as I watch her leave the table, but my eyes are soon drawn to the blonde surgeon herself entering the cafeteria, laughing about something with her mentor. My eyes trace over her form, taking in the confident way she’s carrying herself, the radiance she used to emanate on a daily basis. It was missing for a long time but the more I pay attention, the more I see that’s coming back. It is back.  
  
Or maybe I just chose not to see it before because I was too wrapped up in myself.  
  
She catches my eye and gives me a smile, and that’s really all it takes. I just need that smile for the rest of my life.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
It’s just about 8 o’clock when I finally find myself back in the locker room, ready to head home for the night. Our schedule promises another early start tomorrow, but at least the rest of tonight is free. Although honestly, I’ll probably grab some books and some takeout and head home to study some more anyway. As I go to grab my clothes from the locker though, I see a slip of paper sitting on top of them, messy handwriting that I know all too well. Smiling to myself, I pick it up and read the message, which simply states  _“Are you free tonight? Meet me in the lobby.”_  
  
Maybe tonight will be more interesting than studying after all.  
  
I hadn’t seen the brunette all day except for a glimpse in the cafeteria, and part of me was starting to wonder if too much had been said last night. It had felt good though – more therapeutic in a way than any of the therapy had.  
  
I change into my street clothes and let my hair out of its ponytail, glancing in the mirror to try and make it look at least halfway decent. I swipe some coloured lip gloss on and figure that’s about as good as it’s going to get. I don’t know why the prospect of meeting Callie makes me feel so fluttery and self-conscious – it’s not like she hasn’t seen me at basically every stage of unkempt and unattractive already. I let out a breath though and smile in the mirror, shaking my head and grabbing my bag. This almost – almost – feels normal.

 

  
*

 

  
When I step out into the lobby I immediately head toward the windows at the front, because that’s where we always used to wait for each other. I like to be able to watch people coming and going while I wait, and it just became our place after awhile. She sees me first, and then she’s on her feet walking towards me...with a single red rose in her hands.  
  
“I know I didn’t really ask in advance...and I have to be home by 11 for the sitter...” she holds out the flower and offers me a gorgeous smile, “but I’m hoping you’d like to have dinner with me again.”  
  
There’s no way I could ever say no to that.  
  
“I’d love to.”  
  
I take the flower when she gives it to me, and run my fingers over the delicate petals. Red for romance. I like to think that means something.  
  
“So where are you taking me on our second date?” I grin as she automatically places a hand at the small of my back, leading me out of the hospital. She obviously had time to go home and clean up because she looks incredible – dark jeans, a simple, flowing red top, and her hair falling straight around her shoulders. She smells incredible too.  
  
“Actually, I thought we could go to the park – if that sounds okay to you. I picked up food from that gourmet-to-go place, and it’s a gorgeous night.”  
  
Surprised at the romantic notion of a meal in the park, something I’d always loved, I turn to look at her.  
  
“You did have this planned.”  
  
She gives me a slightly cheeky grin this time as we get to her car.  
  
“Okay, yeah I kind of started thinking about this the minute I woke up. I wanted to surprise you.”  
  
I just squeeze her arm and climb into the car, the delicious aroma from the back seat even further cementing my love for this idea.  
  
“This is the kind of surprise I like.”

 

  
*

 

  
We talk about Sofia and her “girlfriend” on the short drive to our favourite park – the one that overlooks the harbour – and I laugh as Callie regales me with the story of how she skipped out of school happily holding hands with her new friend last week, and as they approached Callie and the other girl’s mother, Sofia proudly proclaimed Megan to be her girlfriend just like that and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. Ah, to be three-going-on-four. Relationships are so simple.  
  
Callie offers me a hand out of the car when we get there, which I take, and after grabbing the bag of food and a blanket she silently twines her fingers through mine again as we walk towards a spot on a small hill, lit by numerous park lights and with a clear view of the water.  
  
“How’s this?”  
  
I take the blanket from her and unfold it, spreading it over the grass.  
  
“This looks perfect, let’s sit.”  
  
She sets the food down and we settle onto the ground before she pauses momentarily, looking around at the tree-lined park in the rapidly fading light.  
  
“It only strikes me now that this may not be the safest date idea I’ve ever had....”  
  
I turn my head to study her profile in the dusky light, and I lean back on my hands, giving her a reassuring smile.  
  
“It’ll be fine. Besides, I still have Mark’s pepper spray.”  
  
She laughs, and I grin with her, both of us remembering the way Mark had presented us with the keychain canisters while Callie had been pregnant, proudly proclaiming that he had to keep the mothers of his child safe at all times. At the time, I’m sure I had rolled my eyes in annoyance, but thinking back on the moment...I know it had been a gesture of honest affection. And well, he did convince me shortly after that to take some kickboxing classes with him too. Which I agreed to. Partially for self-defense but also partially because I had done it as a teenager and it meant I could kick his ass...  
  
My stomach rumbles hungrily, so we dive into the food and the talk comes easily between us. The laughter does too, even more than our first date last week. As we share stories about work, and updates about our families and Sofia’s newest quirks, it’s almost easy to forget that we haven’t always been like this – that we went through a time of not even being able to talk to each other at all, all while living under the same roof. We used to have this easy banter between us, right from day one, and even though it got lost somewhere in the middle it feels nice to see that re-emerging.  
  
“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Erica had never left? What your life would be like?”  
  
We’ve finished the dessert she brought and I’m lying back on my elbows watching her, and watching the stars that are faintly visible away from the lights of downtown. I don’t really know where that question came from.  
  
Neither does she, apparently, because she looks down at me with a look of utter confusion.  
  
“I’ve never actually thought about it.”  
  
I watch as she shifts to lay beside me, leaning back on her elbows in a similar fashion and crossing her legs comfortably at the ankle. She turns to meet my eyes in the dim light from the park lamps, and gives a half shrug.  
  
“Honestly, I just...haven’t. I mean, maybe for those first four months...when I was wallowing...but then I met you, Arizona, and it pretty well all made sense soon after that.”  
  
Curious, I watch her face as she speaks. But all I see is honesty.  
  
“What made sense?”  
  
Callie smiles softly then, tilting her head to look back up at the stars.  
  
“Why she left. I think...Erica was supposed to be a catalyst for me, but I was never supposed to be with her. We would never have worked as a couple.”  
  
I lean up a bit, reaching over to brush some silken hair from her face as a breeze tosses it about.  
  
“She had to walk away...in order for me to meet you,” she looks over, smiling then, “in order for you to come out of nowhere and kiss me in a bar bathroom.”  
  
I smile too at that memory – remembering how I’d seen a moment and decided to go after what I wanted. And remembering the look of utter shock and delight on her face when I did.  
  
“And if I could call her up and thank her for breaking my heart and leaving me in that parking lot,” she laughs a little, no trace whatsoever of sadness in her voice, “then I absolutely would. I’d send a fruit basket. And mini-muffins.”  
  
I laugh at the slight ridiculousness of that statement as I shift onto my side to face her, letting my fingers trail through the dark hair hanging off her shoulder.  
  
“Even after everything I've...we've put each other through...you really never wish it had turned out differently with her?”  
  
“Arizona,” she looks at me once more, and I hold her gaze as she speaks, a quiet seriousness in her tone, “the reason everything that happened with us hurt so much was because you made me happier than anyone had ever done before. You  _make_  me happier. I could never, ever wish that our paths hadn’t crossed. Now more than ever, I know I was meant to find you.”  
  
I break our eye contact and look out at the stars, and at the scattered lights of boats traversing the harbour below. I process what she’s said, and although I was never one to believe in fate...as I always tell my kids, I do believe in a little bit of magic.  
  
I look down to see her dark eyes watching me and I lean in, cupping her cheek and kissing her softly. And that is the most magical feeling in the world.  
  
"And I think I was looking for you, too.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

_**Arizona** _

 

The next few weeks seem to pass in a blur.   
  
Dr. Herman and I are in surgery almost every minute of the day – she's determined to teach me absolutely everything she knows before her time is up, as she puts it, which is no small feat. Nearly impossible if we're honest with ourselves, but she's determined and she's a stubborn woman, so she refuses to back down and so do I. We’d become friends over the last month or two, which was a nice change from how we started out. I actually really liked the woman – and although it made her impending surgery all the more worrisome, I was thoroughly enjoying the time we spent together now.  
  
Callie and I found time for a few more dates on our nights off though -- we went for dinner a couple times, and we'd even gone out for drinks and a movie one Friday evening after Alex insisted on taking Sofia. It had been...really, really great so far. Easy. Sometimes it felt like we had never been apart, but it also felt different somehow. Like we were being more open about everything. Like there was now a solid foundation being built where before, we'd lived on the precipice of a mud slide.  
  
Yesterday we’d had lunch together at the hospital for the first time; I sigh to myself, signing off on a chart at the nurses’ desk – which no doubt started the hospital rumour mill going. And while we’d obviously been talking at work more, and acting friendly, it was still something we had hoped to avoid for a little longer. But with our schedules it had been a week since we’d really seen each other, so when she came to my office with a coffee and an offer of crappy cafeteria food I couldn’t say no.  
  
I pass the chart back to the nurse at the desk just as I feel my phone start to vibrate in my lab coat, pulling me from my thoughts. Slipping it out, I glance at the screen out of habit before answering.  
  
“Hey, Callie, what’s up?”  
  
“Can you take Sofia home tonight? We just got a huge multi-car collision in. I’m about to go in on the first of at least three surgeries, so there’s no way I’m out of here tonight,” she speaks hurriedly, and I can hear the telltale sounds of a hectic ER in the background.  
  
“Hey, of course...I’ll take her,” I remember that I’m supposed to be spending the evening studying with Herman, but my daughter’s always going to come first, so I’ll figure something out.  
  
“Ok, thank you, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Tell her I love her.”  
  
The line goes dead and I slip the phone back into my pocket, mentally reviewing what Herman and I had set out for tonight. We didn’t have a surgery scheduled, but I’d promised her that I would stay nonetheless. We were going to review some things for tomorrow and...I just didn't like her spending all her nights alone lately if I’m honest, so the hospital lounge had kind of become my temporary home too.  
  
Well, I thought, checking my watch – maybe Sofia could just join us tonight. Surely my mentor would understand.

 

  
*

 

  
I finish my rounds on our patients and get the rest of today's charting done, and after checking in with Alex and a favourite recurring patient of mine on the Peds floor, I head up to the daycare. I should probably just leave Sofia here for the night, but when I think of how much time our daughter has spent in other peoples’ care over the last couple months it makes my heart ache. It's bad enough that her family was torn apart; she should at least get to spend time with each of her parents.   
  
I check in at the desk and head into the playroom, spying the small dark-haired child over in the reading nook, a large picture book spread open in her lap.  
  
“Hi, miss Sofia!” I smile as I head over, crouching in front of her to capture her attention.  
  
She looks up from the book and a broad grin spreads across her beautiful face.  
  
“Hi mama!”  
  
“You’re going to spend the night with me tonight, how does that sound?”  
  
She drops the book beside her and scurries up, wrapping her little arms around my neck warmly.  
  
“Yah! Love mama. And I want nuggets.”  
  
I laugh softly and give her a kiss, hugging her back before I let go and stand up, offering her my hand.  
  
“I love you too. And we can get nuggets, let’s go.”

 

  
*

 

  
After a much longer than necessary walk to the cafeteria – Sofia loves wandering the hospital – I finally end up back at my office with the toddler in one arm and a bag of food from the cafeteria in the other. I awkwardly grab the notebooks I need from my desk and head down the hall to the lounge that Herman and I had appropriated, nudging the door open and carefully heading inside.  
  
“Hey, sorry I’m late. I’m here, I brought food.”  
  
The older doctor looks over from the couch against one wall, and I catch the surprised look that briefly crosses her features.   
  
“I hope you like chicken nuggets,” I drop the bag unceremoniously on the little coffee table, flashing her a grin, “nothing but Seattle’s finest.”  
  
Sofia looks around the room, and then eyes the other woman a little warily, as if sizing her up.  
  
“Mama, who is dat?”  
  
I kiss her cheek lightly, tucking hair behind her ear.  
  
“That is mama’s friend Nicole. Also mama’s boss, which means she’s  _very_  important, so be nice, ok?”  
  
She looks at me with a thoughtful expression.  
  
“But why we here?”  
  
“Because I need to stay here and do some work tonight, and mommy had to go help a bunch of sick people downstairs too. But you’d rather sleep here with me than at daycare, wouldn’t you?” I tickle her belly lightly, earning a delightful little giggle.  
  
“Yah!”  
  
Smiling, I set the child down on the opposite couch and unpack the food, setting her up with her nuggets and fries to keep her occupied. I glance toward my mentor and see her watching with a slightly amused expression, so I slowly slide the next box of nuggets over toward her. Food will pacify her.  
  
“I hope this is alright...Callie got pulled into the ER and asked if I could take her...I just didn’t want to leave her in daycare all night. She’ll be quiet though, don’t worry. I’ve got some colouring books and things and she’ll keep herself entertained until she falls asleep.”  
  
She pushes some books aside, taking the food I offer, still wearing a slightly bemused expression at my little ramble.  
  
“So this is your daughter. I was starting to wonder if she actually existed,” her tone doesn’t carry any hint of annoyance or anger, so I sit back on the couch beside Sofia and let out a slight sigh of relief.  
  
“This is Sofia, yes,” I smile proudly at the little girl, reaching down to help her with a napkin, “I just never...I mean I didn’t think you’d care about...” I glance over again, “You never sounded like much of a kid person.”  
  
She lets out a gravelly laugh at my admission and opens the takeout box, stretching her legs out along the length of the other couch.  
  
“Well you’re right about that. Unborn fetuses, yes. But once they come out I tend to stay away. That doesn't mean I hate them though.”  
  
“What’s a peetuses?” Sofia interrupts, looking up curiously at both of us.  
  
I pause for a minute, trying to think of a reasonable explanation for a three year old, but before I can speak up Nicole answers her in no uncertain terms.  
  
"First of all, it's fee-tus, F like fingers," she waggles the fingers of one hand, "and a fetus is what we call a baby before it's born. When it's in the mother's belly."  
  
Watching as my daughter processes this information, I'm inwardly surprised at the fetal surgeon's easy response to the child.  
  
"Why the baby in mama's belly?" she scrunches up her nose a little and looks at me, "Mama has a fee-tus?"  
  
"No, sweetie, I don't. Not every mother does. But that's where babies grow. You grew in mommy's belly before you were born."  
  
She considers this information again, small brow furrowed in concentration, and then looks over at the other doctor.  
  
"Is the fee-tus sick? My mama helps sick peoples. I was sick when I was born."  
  
"She does indeed. Your mama is very good at helping sick people -- she does surgery on the fetuses when they're very, very tiny."  
  
"I had sur-gry!”   
  
My mentor glances at me, clearly curious, and I know I’ll have to tell her more about that story later.  
  
“Well, the fetuses are even tinier than you.”  
  
“Like a fwench fwy!” she giggles, holding one up, “Cool.”  
  
Sofia munches the fry and beams happily, and Nicole bursts out laughing. I can't help but grin too as the toddler resumes eating the rest of her meal, seemingly satisfied with that explanation.  
  
"Looks like you might have a budding surgeon on your hands there, Robbins. Maybe fetal surgery will become a family trade."  
  
"Who knows. Last I heard she was planning on being an astronaut," I grin at her, "the kid's got lofty goals."  
  
The other woman just chuckles, pulling the stack of notebooks and case files back over from the other side of the table.   
  
"Well she is your daughter; she'll probably do both. Now come over here, Robbins -- let's get at these files while the child is distracted."

 

  
*

 

  
Several hours, some ice cream (which made her Herman's biggest fan), and much colouring later, Sofia is fast asleep on the couch, her head pillowed on my lap as I pour over the last of the surgical notes for tomorrow. I stroke my daughter's hair absently as I lean over the table, pulling one of the surgical texts a little closer.  
  
"I feel like I'm not ready for this surgery tomorrow. This is huge."  
  
Herman sits up, rolling her shoulders a little before settling back into the cushions of the couch to relax.  
  
"Robbins, you're ready. And if you're not, it's too late anyway, so stop making me go over the same damn notes."  
  
"I'm just trying to make sure I get it!"  
  
She rolls her eyes slightly, that amused smile tugging at her lips as she folds one arm under her head.  
  
"I chose the right horse. You get it. Now shh, the tumour is tired."  
  
Slumping back into the couch myself, I let out a heavy sigh. I know she's right -- I've got this. I've got her notes and every move of this surgery memorised already. That doesn't mean I'm not scared as hell about it though; we've never worked on a fetus this young before. It's going to be the hardest one yet.  
  
"I know."  
  
We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I let my fingers trail softly through Sofia's hair. My eyes drift down to her face -- such a miniature version of her mother. I can see Mark in her sometimes too, but she is overwhelmingly Callie's daughter.  
  
"Seems like someone else is tired too. You should take her home."  
  
"Hm?" I look up, rubbing a corner of my own exhausted eyes, "you don't mind if she just stays here, do you? She'll be out for the night now."  
  
The other woman looks over pointedly, giving me an exasperated expression.  
  
"Robbins, take your child home so she can sleep in her own bed instead of these second-rate couches."  
  
I look down at Sofia again, smoothing my hand along her side.  
  
"She'd just sleep in bed with me anyway. My home isn't really....home right now."  
  
Nicole shifts up, sitting so she can look over and face me. I can tell she's studying me in that way she has, the way she does before she's about to launch into something, so I glance up to meet her eyes.  
  
"Don't you still have a key to your  _actual_  house?"  
  
I frown slightly – not what I was expecting.  
  
"Well, yeah...we haven't really dealt with any of that, but....it's not my house anymore. I don't live there, you know that."  
  
She snorts a little, shaking her head.  
  
"Yes, I’m aware," she responds drily, "you like to bunk up with your resident and his girlfriend. And apparently get into all kinds of pants-optional shenanigans."  
  
Her tone brings a slight scowl and a blush to my face, and I slump into the back of the couch, not bothering to reply.  
  
"Listen," she waves her hand nonchalantly, "from what you've told me, your ex didn't actually kick you out, so technically it's still your house. And besides, you two have been looking awfully friendly lately..."  
  
"We're kind of dating again," I let it slip out without thought, giving a half shrug of my shoulder.  
  
Her interest instantly piqued, Nicole leans in on her elbows, eyebrows raised.  
  
"You're dating your ex-wife? You're dating a woman you married, cheated on, and then who divorced you after an emotional showdown? Oh this keeps getting better and better. Tell me more."  
  
I sigh, knowing she isn't going to give this up easily now. The woman’s become a downright gossipmonger.  
  
"There's not that much to tell. We've gone out a handful of times...we decided we wanted to start over and really make it work, and..." I smile a little, "it's been working so far."  
  
"You sound hopeful, Robbins."  
  
"I am."  
  
She runs a hand through her hair, making a slight face.   
  
"God, you couldn't pay me to date my ex-husband again. But you know, this gives you even more rights to use the key."  
  
"Wouldn't it be weird? Callie comes home and finds what? Me sleeping on the couch? Just making myself at home in the spare bedroom after five months? I said we're dating, we're not moving back in together yet. Not nearly."  
  
"Ha!" she points, "Yet. And no, Robbins -- what's weird is that you're dating your  _ex-wife_  to begin with."  
  
She gives me a delighted smile and chuckles.  
  
"I love it. So just go with it, and take that poor child home already. I'm sure she spends enough of her life in this damn hospital."  
  
She studies Sofia's sleeping form for a moment, then looks back up at me, a hint of amusement in her eyes.  
  
"Besides, I think she actually likes me. She might even try to climb over here," she points squarely at me, "and I don't do cuddles. With grown-ups  _or_  children."

 

  
*

 

  
I give in, against my better judgement, and half an hour later I'm pulling into the driveway of my former home. I park and just look out at the house, so many memories of the last year flooding my thoughts. I hadn't really allowed myself to miss this place, had tried to suppress the feelings just like I'd tried to suppress the feelings I had for Callie. But the truth was I did miss it.   
  
 _The realtor had given us some time to look around and talk after having the grand tour, as she wandered off to take a call. But I already know this is the one. It’s perfect.  
  
"Callie," I look over my shoulder, waving her over, "come and look at this backyard."  
  
She crosses the kitchen to my side and I look out through the glass patio doors again, pointing.  
  
"It doesn't have a pool, but it's even bigger than at the blue house, and look! It has this huge deck, and those three huge, old trees -- can't you just picture our girls playing hide and seek around those trees? And reading under them in the summer...oh and catching butterflies!"  
  
"And trying to climb them and breaking their bones," Callie laughs, looking down at me, "our girls, huh? You're still so sure this one is gonna be a girl. You know we can't find out for months yet, right?"  
  
I just smile at her before training my gaze on the backyard again.  
  
"Just a feeling. Sara, maybe. Or Audrey."  
  
I feel Callie's arms slide around my midsection, and she drops a kiss on my shoulder before resting her chin there.  
  
"I can see it. I can see us here.”_  
  
By some miracle, the house we wanted had still been for sale when we finally decided we were ready for it again months later, which had seemed like a genuine sign at the time. And it was...it was still home. Shaking off the memory of that day and the slight pang of sadness that strikes me, I climb out of the car and get Sofia unbuckled from her seat in the back, carefully lifting my sleeping girl and cradling her against my shoulder. A comforting smell overwhelms me when we step through the door and I can't help but smile a little to myself at that. I've been over a few times, obviously, since we'd split, so I know that nothing has changed inside -- but it's still nice to see the familiar furnishings and decorations that we chose together.  
  
It's a little weird, it strikes me, as I head down the hallway toward Sofia's bedroom -- a lot of my stuff is still here. Books and music, knickknacks...even photos of my family are mostly still here, sharing space with Callie's things. Because they'd become  _our_  things over the years. But we'd never gotten together to officially divide anything up, hadn't even talked about it really...I just came and got things as I needed them and she never complained. In hindsight, I wonder what that says about us.  
  
I lay Sofia down in her bed and gently undress her, getting her changed into pajamas and tucked in under the covers. She wakes only a little, blinking sleepily at me as she snuggles into the soft pillow.  
  
"Mama?"  
  
"Shh, baby, just go back to sleep. We're home," I whisper softly, smoothing my hand along her hip.  
  
She murmurs something incomprehensible and her eyes close again, so I turn off the bedside lamp and quietly ease out of the room, stifling a yawn myself. Glancing down the hall toward our -- Callie's, I remind myself -- bedroom, I decide against going to peek in even though part of me really, really wants to. I cross the hall instead into the guest room and, rubbing my eyes, settle down on top of the neatly made bed. May as well get some sleep.

 

  
*

 

  
 ** _Callie_**  
  
To say I'm surprised when I see Arizona's car parked in the driveway is an understatement. As I head up into the house, I can see that the light is on in the front hall too – I never bother with it, but Arizona always left it on when she knew I'd be home late.  
  
I lock up behind myself and switch the light off, quietly making my way down the hall. Glancing into Sofia's room, I can see her small figure curled up in bed, her even breathing indicating that she's deep in slumber. It seems strange that Arizona would come back here with her....she'd never done that before. And clearly it didn't seem like anything was wrong.  
  
A lamp is on in the guest room, and that's where I find her. The blonde is stretched out on top of the covers like she didn't intend to stay there, but I can tell by the sound of her breathing that she's lost to sleep just as much as our daughter is. She'd been telling me how busy the last few weeks had been; I know she's got to be just exhausted.  
  
I quietly move across the room, intending to switch the lamp off, but when I look down I notice that she still has her leg on. I bite my lip a little, just watching her chest rise and fall. I know I should just leave the room, let her be...but I also know how sore her leg will be in the morning if she sleeps with the prosthetic all night.   
  
My fingers flex a little by my sides as I contemplate the inappropriateness of trying to slip her pants and her leg off for her, and the chances that she'll wake up while I'm doing so. My mind made up though, I decide the worst that can happen is she wakes up and yells at me. Which is significantly better than letting her have a miserable, painful day tomorrow when she’s got babies to save.  
  
I lean over and carefully unbutton her jeans, slipping them over her slim hips and tugging them from under her until I can slide them down her legs. She stirs a little but doesn't seem to wake, and I swallow a lump in my throat as I divert my eyes from the creamy bare skin of her thighs. Tossing the jeans over the chair by the bed, I quietly manoeuvre her leg off as well and prop it within reach against the nightstand.   
  
It's only when I go to slip the lining off her limb that she blinks awake, sleepy confusion clouding her eyes as she leans up a bit on her elbow.  
  
"Calliope...?"  
  
My name falls from her lips in a murmur, and I glance up, giving her leg a soothing rub.  
  
"Shh," I murmur back, pulling at the blankets until she shifts enough to let me tuck them over her, "go back to sleep. I just got home."  
  
"Mm I should go..."  
  
I reach up and smooth back the hair falling into her face, softly running my fingers along her jaw. Without thinking about it I find myself pressing an intimate kiss to her temple, lingering just a moment as I inhale the soft, familiar smell of her shampoo.  
  
"Just go to sleep," I whisper the words quietly, giving her a small smile, "it's nearly 2 a.m. I just wanted you to be more comfortable."  
  
She lets out a sleepy breath, letting her eyes close again, and now that she's under the covers she rolls to her side and snuggles in a little deeper. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that part of me wants to climb in and curl up behind her...but, I sigh inwardly, I won't. Despite what happened the other week I don't think we're there yet, and I don’t want to rush this.  
  
"Mmk."  
  
Sleepy Arizona is probably one of my favourite things in the world though. I smile and lean over, dropping another light kiss on her head, and she sighs contently.  
  
Yep. Absolute favourite.  
  
Switching the lamp off, I quietly make my way out and down the hall, pausing for a moment to lean my forehead against the door frame to my own room. I want Arizona to live here again. I've been lonely here, more than I’ve been willing to admit, in this house that  _we_  chose. It bears so many marks of the other woman...and I wouldn’t change it for anything.  
  
 _"Nothing too dark -- you know I can't live in the bat cave, Calliope. You agreed that we had to agree on the paint!"  
  
I groan inwardly at the paint samples she's waving in front of me as we stand at the hardware store, perusing colours for the third time in as many weeks. They all look like they belong in a beach house.  
  
"Ok, but nothing pastel either! Seriously what’s wrong with some jewel tones? I can handle lighter colours, but if it belongs in an Easter basket it is not going on the walls of our home."  
  
She wrinkles her nose a little, looking at her samples again before putting a few back.  
  
"Okay...what about these? They're vibrant, but still light enough."  
  
I grab the little paint cards and contemplate them carefully -- shades of blue and green and purple that are somewhat middle of the road. The green for the living room is actually a fairly rich, emerald colour, which I know is a concession she's willingly made...I saw the much, much lighter shade she picked last week.  
  
"I like these...if I can choose some edgy artwork to go with it. Something abstract. To make it badass."  
  
I look at her as one blonde eyebrow raises questioningly, and I fix her with my best no-nonsense stare. She draws out our showdown for a long minute, then smiles and leans in to kiss my cheek.  
  
"Deal."_  
  
We’d had some really happy times then. Things weren’t perfect between us, and we were still working on our relationship when we moved into the house, but...we’d had some truly happy moments. Smiling a little at the purple-grey wall of the bedroom -- which I've actually come to love -- I realize that even if we're not sleeping together...knowing she's just down the hall is a comfort all on its own.  
  
Maybe we can talk about that in the morning. Maybe...I mean, it can’t hurt to ask, right?

 


	10. Chapter 10

_**Arizona** _

 

****

"I can't reach the last band."  
   
I watch the monitor in frustration, my surgical instrument deep inside this woman's uterus, moving millimetre by millimetre. We're three hours in and so far it's been extremely successful -- except for this last damn amniotic band.   
   
"Be gentle, Robbins," Herman leans in closer, watching the monitor herself, "you should be able to get it. Just move slowly."  
   
"I  _am_ moving slowly. It won't reach."  
   
I attempt it again, ever so slowly easing the instrument deeper to try and manoeuvre around the baby's minuscule foot.   
   
"The baby keeps moving."  
   
Not being helpful whatsoever, Herman leans back out of my way without offering any more guidance. I know she's doing it on purpose -- she has been, more and more. Letting me perform entire surgeries on my own while she only stands by and watches. I know she's forcing me to learn, and I  _am_  grateful that she is, but I'm positive part of her just likes to see me squirm, too.  
   
"We'd have a bigger problem if he wasn't."  
   
Twenty minutes later I pull the instrument back with a triumphant grin.   
   
I got it.

 

  
*

 

  
I watch through the window as the nurses finish up with our patient, getting ready to transfer her back to her recovery room. The high of a successful surgery is like no other -- and the accompanying relief after each of these new fetal surgeries is a pretty fantastic feeling too, I can't deny it. With each one we do, I become a little more confident, and I know it's affecting more than just my professional skills.  
   
I scrub my hands and forearms under the stream of water, my mentor performing the same action by my side.   
   
"Callie asked me to move back into the house."  
   
I don't know why I'm telling her this, but it just kind of pops out. I mean, we're friends of some kind, sure, but hardly in the warm and fuzzy personal way.  
   
"I told you it was a good idea to go home last night."  
   
I shake my head a little, carefully rinsing off the harsh soap.  
   
"I don't know if it's a good idea. It's rushing things, isn't it? It feels like it's rushing things."  
   
Herman steps off the foot pedal on the floor and the water shuts off on her side of the long sink. She grabs a towel from the shelf and dries off as I follow suit, but doesn't say anything in reply.  
   
"I don't want to move back in if this isn't going to work out."  
   
She remains silent, but I can see her watching me out of the corner of my eye with a slight smile on her face, and I growl slightly in frustration.  
   
"I'm glad you think this is so amusing."  
   
"Robbins," she steps in front of me, finally speaking up, "do you  _want_  this to work?"  
   
I give her an incredulous look, resting my hands on my hips. What kind of question is that?  
   
"Of course I want it to work between us."  
   
"Then move into the house."  
   
She shrugs a shoulder, opening the scrub room door and heading into the hall. I look after her in disbelief, quickly following to catch up with the taller woman as she heads down toward the lounge.  
   
"Just like that. Well gee, if only I'd known it was that simple."  
   
"It is that simple."  
   
She pushes open the door to our lounge and I follow her inside, untying my scrub cap with a sigh. When the door closes behind me, she turns to face me, any traces of amusement gone from her face.  
   
"Listen. You love her -- that much is clear. So while I'm certainly not pretending to be any expert on the subject, it seems pretty simple. Move into the house, take a leap, and do your damndest to make it work. I don't see you backing down from any of these surgeries I'm throwing at you," she jabs a finger toward the bulletin board.  
   
I glance at the cards on the board, thinking of all the seemingly impossible situations she's thrown me into. She does have a point, even if everything between me and Callie seems a little unbelievable right now,  _something_  is happening. Maybe I shouldn't be afraid of it.  
   
"You just do it, Robbins. Because one day you might wake up with a giant, inoperable tumour, and yadda yadda regrets and all that nonsense."  
   
I look back, meeting her eyes, unable to read the expressions that flits across them.  
   
"Nicole..."  
   
She pulls off her own scrub cap, shoving it in her pocket and moving over to the coffee pot in the corner.  
   
"All I'm saying is, take a few risks. It might go to hell in a handbasket, in which case you can come back and live in the lounge with me. And drink. But it might turn out to be exactly what you need, too."

 

  
*

 

  
It's hours later before I get another moment to myself, and when my last surgery of the day is finished I slide down onto a couch in the attendings' lounge, rubbing a hand over my tired eyes.  
   
I've been thinking about breakfast and our talk all day. I can't  _stop_  thinking about it -- about the idea of living with Callie again, cohabiting the same space, waking up in our house again. I want it, I can't lie to myself and say that I don't. But I also know what will happen if we're in constant close proximity to each other...there's only so long before the physical attraction will overtake any rational thought. It's already been hard enough to keep my hands off her on our dates.  
   
And I don't know if that's a good idea yet.   
   
I register the sound of the door opening but don't look up, instead just leaning my head back onto the couch with a sigh. I only told her I would think about it; I never said how long I would take to think.  
   
"Herman blues?"  
   
Amelia's familiar voice fills the air, and I feel the couch dip next to me as she suddenly drops into it.  
   
"Callie blues."  
   
"Ooh...what happened? I thought things were going well."  
   
I open my eyes and turn my head so I can see her. She's dressed in her street clothes, obviously ready to head out for the night. I'm kind of glad she stopped in though.  
   
"They are. She asked me to move back into the house."  
   
"Oh...well shit."  
   
She pauses then, brow furrowing as she looks at me.  
   
"Wait, but isn't that what you  _want?_ "  
   
I sigh in frustration, sitting up and leaning my elbows on my knees.  
   
"Of course it's what I want! But doesn't it seem rushed? What if it's too soon? What if we can't handle being together that much?"  
   
The neurosurgeon is silent for a minute, but she nudges her shoulder against mine lightly.  
   
"Calm down, miss fear-of-commitment. I figured you'd gotten over that since you were, you know, married for three years. You're never going to know if you don't try. If you guys are going to be together again, eventually you're going to take this step."  
   
"Eventually, maybe. But two months ago she was barely even speaking to me, Amy," I answer quietly, rubbing the back of my neck, "She wanted nothing to do with me."  
   
I feel her hand slide under my own, and strong fingers knead my muscles a little as I let my arm drop away. A sigh escapes me, a plethora of thoughts swirling through my mind. I wish this could just be easy.  
   
"Yeah, but now she's practically wooing you. I think it's safe to say that things are different," Amelia speaks again, her thumb finding and rubbing into a tight knot under my skin.  
   
My phone chimes with a text, and I reach over, pulling it out of my discarded lap coat.  
   
"Ten bucks says it's her."  
   
I swipe it open and....sure enough, it's from Callie. I read it and smile a little, and Amelia gives me a told-you-so grin.  
   
"She wants to know if I want to come over tonight. To watch the Great British Bake-Off."  
   
The other woman laughs, picking up her jacket and pushing herself up from the couch.  
   
"I can't believe you still watch those cooking shows. You can't bake!"  
   
"I live vicariously through them!"  
   
"Then go -- live vicariously through three-layer cakes. And think about the house thing, really, Arizona. I get why you're worried, I do, but sometimes you just have to do what feels right. That's what Tim would say, right?"  
   
I glance up, surprised she remembers that, and feel a small smile tug at my lips as I repeat words I haven't heard in years.  
   
"Not everything is about science, USS. Listen to your gut."  
   
Amelia smiles back, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she backs away.  
   
"Listen to your gut."

 

  
*

 

  
I make a decision and quickly return Callie’s text, then head to the locker room to get changed. Actually managing to make it out of the hospital without being stopped by anyone, I end up making it to the house with a perfect fifteen minutes to spare. I text her again as I make my way up to the front door because I know Sofia’s probably just gone down for the night, and the last thing I want to do is wake her with the doorbell.  
   
The door swings open just as I approach and I’m greeted with a warm smile from Callie, who’s casually dressed in yoga pants and one of her loose tank tops, her hair pulled into a messy bun at the nape of her neck, makeup scrubbed off for the night. I just look at her for a moment, taken aback at how amazingly gorgeous she is.   
   
“Hey! You’re just in time, come in.”  
   
She beckons me in, and I leave my shoes and bag at the door and follow her down toward the living room.  
   
“Are you hungry? I figured you probably hadn’t eaten yet, so I got some Thai food. It just got delivered.”  
   
My stomach rumbles a little as the scent of said food reaches my nose, and I laugh a little sheepishly.  
   
“I’m starved. That sounds amazing.”  
   
“Sofia and I made cupcakes too. She just fell asleep though. I couldn't tell her you were coming over or she never would have gone down.”  
   
A piece of hair falls into her face, and instinctively I reach up and curl it behind her ear, brushing my thumb lightly against her cheek.  
   
“Cupcakes sound amazing. I’ll start with one of those.”  
   
I smile when her skin flushes a little at the intimate touch, and can’t help the next words to come tumbling out of my mouth.  
   
“You look really pretty tonight.”  
   
Her laugh sounds quietly in the empty space of the hallway.  
   
“Hardly.”  
   
I just look at her, seeing her unsure, almost shy brown eyes gaze back at me. She  _is_  beautiful. She's breathtaking. How can she not know that?  
   
“You do,” I repeat softly, “You look beautiful.”  
   
She gives me a small smile this time, her eyes darkening a bit.  
   
“I really want to kiss you right now.”  
   
Still riding the high of my last surgery, I find myself feeling overconfident and suddenly bold. Stepping closer, I tuck that same fallen bit of hair behind her ear again, and I graze my fingers along her jaw as I respond.  
   
“Then kiss me.”  
   
In what feels like a split second she slides her arms around my waist and pulls me in against her body, stealing my breath away as her warm lips meet mine. She kisses me softly at first, but I raise a hand to slide across her bare shoulder and it seems to ignite something in the brunette, because then her hands are grasping at the back of my shirt, and she’s kissing me more insistently as she backs me against the wall. Her tongue traces along my bottom lip and I don’t hesitate, a soft moan escaping my throat as the kiss becomes deeper, more heated, her mouth moving over mine in a way that is both immeasurably tender and completely possessive. I feel her arm slide up between my back and the wall and she grasps a handful of my hair, tilting my head to better grant her access, and the taste and feel of her is all consuming as my heart beats an almost painful rhythm in my chest.  
   
I’m aware of nothing but her until she pulls back a few moments later, leaning her forehead on mine as she catches her breath. I open my eyes and immediately steal another kiss, capturing her beautiful lips beneath mine like they’re the very essence I need to survive.  
   
In a way, they are.   
  
Kissing her is like coming up for a breath of fresh air. It’s like the first ray of sunshine after a long, cold winter. I've learned I  _can_  live without her -- if forced, I can live without her, without needing her. The point is...I don't want to.  
   
“Arizona...”  
   
She murmurs my name on a sigh, nosing the curve of my jaw and placing a soft kiss just behind my ear. I shiver involuntarily at the touch and she smiles.  
  
"I've missed this spot. Right. Here."  
  
Punctuating her words with light kisses, the woman is clearly trying to kill me. She knows. She _knows_  what that spot does to me. And if she continues kissing me like this it's going to take all my willpower not to strip her clothes off right here.  
  
"Calliope..." I laugh softly, sliding my hands to her shoulders to push her back a little, as much as I really don't want to.  
  
She acquiesces, but an adorable almost-pout graces her features as she lets her eyes wander over me. I just grin at her, pecking her lips quickly one last time.  
  
"I still want my cupcake. And we're going to miss the start of the show."  
  
"Mm," she blinks, her eyes shifting up, "food, right. You go get comfy, I'll be right there."  
  
At that, the brunette pulls back abruptly and heads down to the kitchen, and I make my way into the living room and settle into the couch with a content sigh, still relishing the taste of the other woman on my lips. I grab the remote and switch the TV onto the Food Network, happily seeing the banner along the bottom that proclaims a marathon of episodes tonight.   
  
"Callie! There's a marathon on tonight!"  
  
Callie comes around the couch and hands me a cupcake, carefully setting down the takeout bag, bottle of wine, and glasses she has precariously held with the other arm before she drops onto the couch.  
  
"I know," she grins, "you're mine for the night, Robbins."  
  
"Devious."  
  
I swipe my finger through the frosting on the cupcake and taste the sugary goodness, unwrapping the paper to take a bite.  
  
"I know. But hey, I gotta keep thinking of ways to convince you to spend time with me."  
  
I curl my good leg under me as the show begins, settling back comfortably so our shoulders are touching.  
  
"You don't have to convince me."

 

  
*

 

  
"Oh my god look at that cheesecake. Caramel? Oh, that is entirely unfair. She may be annoying but I'll take her cake."  
  
Callie makes a face at the screen, setting her wine glass down on the table in front of us.  
  
"She's more than annoying."  
  
She mimics the contestant's whiny voice and I laugh, shushing her.  
  
"But seriously, I want her cake."  
  
"Nah, you don't want her cake. You're not into redheads so much."  
  
I turn and gape at her, smacking her arm. She so did not.  
  
"Calliope!"  
  
Eyes gleaming like a mischievous child, she bursts out laughing at my scandalised look.  
  
"Well! It's true."  
  
I shake my head, laughing as a commercial break comes on. We're almost done our second episode and our commentary tonight has been golden. It feels like the early days of our relationship again.  
  
Setting my glass down beside hers I settle back, silence falling over us as a commercial for some other show flashes across the screen.  
  
"Did you have anyone else's cake? ...while...we were apart?"  
  
I glance over quickly as I voice the question, hoping it's not going to ruin the fun we've been having. I'm just curious...I often wondered over the last five months, despite never seeing her with anyone else, and I just need to know.  
  
“I'm sorry, that is really none of my business. I didn't...just,” I falter a bit, deflating, “just so you know.”  
  
She leans back a little, pulling the fleece throw over our laps more and fiddling with it, stalling for a few seconds before she answers.  
  
"Just once."  
  
I nod, watching her until she looks up.  
  
"I just wondered."  
  
"Yeah, I just met her at Joe's. We danced a lot and drank a lot and," she shrugs a shoulder, "it just ended up being the one night."  
  
Curiosity getting the best of me now – a little jealously too, admittedly, I have to ask more.  
  
"How come?"  
  
I hold my hand over palm up and she takes it, curling our fingers together. The show comes back on and she diverts her eyes back to the television.  
  
"She just...she wasn't you."  
  
I squeeze her hand and shift a bit on the couch, leaning in to rest my head on her shoulder. We just watch the show for a few minutes quietly, and then she pulls her hand from mine and slips her arm in behind me, wrapping it around my shoulders.   
  
The move is familiar, and comforting as I settle against her a little more intimately. I can smell the faint traces of her body wash and the lingering perfume on her skin, and I simply let out a content sigh.  
  
"Oh," I point at the television after a moment, "look at this guy though. That guy has no idea what he's doing."  
  
"Right? And he's trying way too hard with that hipster look. Who wears a scarf to  _bake_?"  
  
"Even I could beat this guy."  
  
Callie's fingers pause their idle movements along my arm, and she looks down with a perfectly raised eyebrow and a grin. Our relaxed mood is back, and she has an almost teasing tone to her voice as she replies.  
  
"Let's not be crazy here."

 

  
*

 

  
Two hours later it's nearing midnight and we're rounding off the fourth episode of our favourite show. I remember years ago when we'd discovered our shared love of cooking competitions -- Callie because she actually likes to cook, and is good at it, and me mostly because I just love food and love pretending I'll ever learn how to make these creations. It had been our go-to pastime from then on whenever we just wanted a night in to relax and to spend some time together. And our running commentaries made it all the more ridiculous and entertaining.  
  
It had helped bring us back together after every argument and break-up, I realize now -- and after my amputation, after the trauma of the crash, it had given us something to share to start the process of returning our lives to normal.  
  
Callie's head is now resting in my lap, her body curled up along the length of the couch as she watches the show. I can never keep my hands out of her hair, so it's loose now from its bun and my fingers are sliding through it delicately, enjoying the feel of silky strands as they fall between my fingers.  
  
"I say sequin shirt lady is going to win."  
  
I study the contestant on screen, my fingers pausing their motion for a moment.  
  
"Agreed. She was leap years ahead of Mr. Macho Tight Pants, and well, I mean let's face it...poodle lady majorly failed the last round."  
  
Callie grins and rolls onto her back to look up at me, dark hair splaying across my lap as my fingers caress her scalp again.  
  
"I hope this never changes. I hope  _we_ never change -- that no matter what, we're wrinkly old ladies someday still giving a sassy commentary to our favourite cooking shows. Sofia will roll her eyes at us so hard."  
  
I grin down at her, laughing softly.  
  
"We will be. The Great British Bake-Off has been the one constant in our lives."  
  
"Not the only constant," she replies immediately, a trace of seriousness entering her voice.  
  
I gently run my finger down the line of her jaw, tracing it, committing it to memory for the millionth time.  
  
"You're right," I respond softly, "not the only one."  
  
Dark brown eyes watch me closely, as if searching for something, and I'm drawn into their impossible depths with one glance to meet her gaze. I remember our conversation from weeks ago, sitting on my bed as we laid everything out in the open. The things she'd said had stayed with me.   
  
"The other one is the love. I have always, and will always love you, Calliope Iphegenia Torres."  
  
Something changes then in her eyes, and she stills my hand by reaching up and taking it in hers.   
  
"You do."  
  
It's not a question, like the first time I spoke the words years ago, but a statement that falls quietly from her lips. And I think I realize in that moment what she meant -- that she knows, she'll always  _know,_  but hearing me say it out loud is what she really needs. I think it might be what both of us need.  
  
"And I love you too."  
  
I tighten my fingers around hers, watching them fit together, and when I look back to see her still watching me, I suddenly make a decision.   
  
"I want to move in."

 


	11. Chapter 11

_"I want to move in."_

 

  
*

 

  
Callie's eyes widen, and a broad smile spreads across her face as she looks up at me. I can't help but return it, and I can feel in my gut that I've made the right decision just by the way she's looking at me.  
  
"Really?"  
  
I laugh softly, squeezing her hand.  
  
"Really. I want us to be....us, again. And it's been good so far -- it's been great. And the only thing to do next is to take a leap of faith, right?"  
  
She sits up suddenly, turning to face me.  
  
"You think it's been great?" obvious relief colours her eyes, and she grins at me, "I think it has been too."  
  
I smile again, this time taking both of her hands in mine.  
  
"I have faith in us, Calliope. Through all the bad things, all the arguments, we've always been drawn back together...something has been drawing us back together. You are my  _person_."  
  
I almost have to laugh again, thinking of all the ways the universe has tried to pull us apart over the last five years. All the ways that we  _weren't_  suited to be together from the very start; the obstacles that tried to stop us. And we've surmounted them all so far.  
  
"And you know I've never been a believer in fate or any of that stuff but...there's something. What we have is  _something._  I've felt it since our very first date, and I'm pretty sure you have too. I have never loved anyone the way I love you."  
  
She meets my eyes again then, and nods almost imperceptibly, an almost reverent look on her face as she studies me.  
  
"I have felt it. From the first time we danced across my apartment, I knew I wanted to be with you."  
  
A few beats of silence pass between us, but then I can't help but grin.  
  
"I mean, you were the first woman I waited more than three dates to have sex with, Calliope. If that doesn't mean something, I don't know what does."  
  
Her laughter fills the living room, and she swats playfully at my leg. I'm glad my attempt to keep the mood light appears to have done just that, because we've had such an easygoing night so far, I don't want things to turn too serious. Although...when I consider the fact, it  _is_  true. To me, that does say something, given my history with relationships.  
  
"You philanderer. It's a good thing I came along and saved you from your sinful ways."  
  
I lean in as soon as the words are out of her mouth, cupping her cheek as I kiss her slowly, claiming her lips for my own. She reacts immediately; words forgotten, mouth moving against mine, and she sighs softly against me as I draw the connection out for another few moments.  
  
An almost silent whimper leaves her throat when I pull back, and I let my hand trail down along her perfect collarbone and the soft, smooth skin of her chest. My finger finds the faint remnant of the scar that runs down her breastbone, and my heart clenches a little as I remember how very lucky I am to still have her at all.  
  
I let my eyes fall to her cleavage for a brief moment, and I pull my hand back quickly before it enters dangerous territory.  
  
"I think we need to lay some ground rules. About me moving in."  
  
The brunette's brow furrows a bit when I remove my hand, almost like a petulant child, but she nods in agreement.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"And, we need to talk about Sofia."  
  
"We do," she nods again, more seriously this time, before a slight pause hangs between us yet again.  
  
I watch her seemingly struggling with words as her eyes wander over me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can we..." she pauses again, biting her lip a little, "can we talk about all that tomorrow? And make out a little now?"  
  
Grinning, I can feel a slow warmth spread through my body with the way those eyes are looking at me, their shade darkening ever so slightly in the dim light.  
  
I reach up and slide a hand around the back of her head, tugging her closer before I kiss her again.  
  
"Mm...that we can do."

 

  
*

 

  
"Alex!" I saunter down the stairs and head toward the kitchen, finding my resident leaning tiredly against the island, watching the toaster intently.  
  
"What's got you so perky this morning?"  
  
Ignoring his question and moving around him to the coffee maker, I grab a mug and pour generously, refilling the one in front of him while I'm at it.  
  
"What are you doing this weekend?"  
  
"Nothing," the younger man grunts, grabbing his mug, "I am not on-call and I'm not switching any shifts, so don't even ask."  
  
His toast pops up, and I steal one from the four-slice toaster.  
  
"Perfect! You can watch Sofia Saturday night then."  
  
'Hey!"   
  
He grabs for the slice I stole, but I yank it back out of reach. I grew up with a brother, I know how to play this game.  
  
"You don't need  _four._ "  
  
"I'm  _hungry._ "  
  
He scowls a bit, but grabs his remaining toast and spreads some jam on it, offering me the jar begrudgingly when he's done.  
  
"And no way, no babysitting this weekend. It's my one night off."  
  
I hesitate a moment, taking the jar from him and then taking his proffered knife. Any hesitation leaves me instantly though as I let out a breath -- this really is happening; I'm moving home.  
  
"I'm moving back in with Callie on Saturday. I want to take her out to celebrate."  
  
Alex looks up and swallows the mouthful of toast he was working on, giving me a look of disbelief.  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
Nodding, I smile again.   
  
"We decided last night...I think we're on the right track, finally, and it feels like the next step."  
  
He takes another swig of his coffee, then contemplates me for a minute, his features softening into a more concerned look.   
  
"You ready for that?"  
  
Truthfully, I'd wondered that myself most of the night. After getting back from Callie's, I'd attempted to fall asleep...but had spent most of the night awake and thinking about this huge step we were about to take. But I do feel ready -- it feels like we're in a good place; we're happy when we spend time together, we're not arguing. And I want my family back together under one roof.  
  
"I am. Even if we still have stuff to work on, I don't want to waste any more time, you know?"  
  
The younger man nods in understanding, pulling the jam jar back over.  
  
"I get you," he's silent for another few seconds, and then he lets out a sigh, "I guess I can watch the kid."  
  
I grin widely, and I grab a new slice of bread from the bag and drop it in the toaster to replace the stolen goods.  
  
"Thanks, Alex. For everything."  
  
He waves me off, shaking his head with a little smile as he grabs the rest of his coffee.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, shut up Robbins. If I have to watch that Frozen flick again you're gonna owe me  _big_  time."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
"Bailey!"  
  
I spot the shorter woman rounding a corner and I hurry after her, shouting her name in a stage whisper as I catch up. She glances over at me when I do and gives me a questioning look.  
  
"What's with the whispering, Torres? We playing a game or something? Hiding from someone?"  
  
I shove my hands deep into the pockets of my lab coat and fall into step beside her, suddenly completely unsure how to start. But god, I need  _someone_  I can tell about this. And Meredith has enough Derek crap going on these days, and I don't have Mark, and Arizona is my person but obviously I need someone else right now.  
  
"Um...so, Arizona is moving back in this weekend," I blurt it out in a bit of a hurry and glance at the other woman, waiting for the reaction I'm sure is going to come.  
  
Bailey just pushes open the door to a supply closet and heads inside, and I follow her in, taking a sweeping look around to see if anyone else is there.  
  
"So you guys are back together then?" she poses the question casually, rifling through one of the shelves.  
  
I lean against the end of the shelving unit, fiddling with a rolled up bandage as I watch her face.  
  
"We're....yes? I think? I mean, we've been dating for like two months, you knew that part. And things have been going really well. They've been so amazing...we really hit reboot this time, and it's been like the early days of our relationship all over again. I'm so happy. So I asked her to move back home and last night she said yes."  
  
The other doctor gathers a few things into her arms before stopping and looking down the row at me. Her expression is slightly skeptical.  
  
"Like the early days. You do realize that pretty pink bubble of newness and sunshine and giggles is going to end again, right? You two  _are_  going to move into the stable relationship phase where things aren't always perfect and sexy and flirty again."  
  
"That's kind of pessimistic, isn't it? I don't think the sexy, flirty, fun part ever has to end. Not if we're doing it right this time."  
  
She lets out a heavy sigh, coming around the shelves toward me, a patented no-nonsense Bailey look on her face.  
  
"Torres, what I  _mean_  is that are you sure you're not just having fun right now? Are you two ready to face the bigger issues that drove a wedge between you in the first place?"  
  
I bite my lip a little, contemplating the other woman's words. She's not wrong -- I know we still have some bumps to smooth out, and we're no doubt going to encounter new ones -- but I think we really are prepared to face them head-on this time. We already have been.  
  
"We have been..." I let out a little sigh too, running a hand through my hair, "we've talked a lot of our issues through, I think. We both came into it this time and laid everything on the table."  
  
"And neither one of you is harbouring any blame toward the other? Lot of that was being thrown around the last year or so, and that's just plain toxic."  
  
This I can answer confidently, and I do.  
  
"Not at all."  
  
"Well," she grabs the last of her supplies, heading toward the door with a slight smirk, "then I'm glad you two finally got your heads screwed on straight. It's about damn time."  
  
I follow her out, my face breaking into a grin because I just can't help it.  
  
"Oh, there is nothing  _straight_  about us..."  
  
I catch the bandage that's thrown back at my head and laugh. We are so doing this. 

 

  
*

 

  
Arizona and I made plans to meet over lunch so we could talk about things. I know the Sofia issue will be the trickiest...I want to make it as easy as possible, but we do have to explain things to her somehow. We both happened to have almost two free hours around lunch time, so we were meeting at the café down the street – it had been her idea to get out of the hospital, and as I find us a table in a quiet corner I have to admit that it was a good idea. No one will interrupt us here, and no one will eavesdrop. And if one of us does get paged, we’re still just two blocks away.  
  
We’d found this little café just over a year ago, and we’d both immediately fallen in love with it. It's a tiny place, tucked in between a florist and a sandwich shop, and it's filled with local art and homemade food and I swear, it is the best kept coffee secret in all of Seattle. And surprisingly, I look around as I wait for Arizona, it's never overly packed.  
  
The door opens, and I look up to see the beautiful blonde headed my way. She apparently hadn’t changed into scrubs yet today – or, she changed back for lunch – because she’s dressed in a gorgeous new red blouse, and the black jeans of hers that...well, I smile, forcing my eyes up to her face...let’s just say I appreciate the jeans.  
  
“Hey! I grabbed you a latte, and ordered the pesto chicken clubs for us. I figured that’s what you would want, anyway.”  
  
She leans in, dropping a light kiss on my lips, and then slides into the seat across from me.  
  
“That’s perfect,” she laughs a little, pulling over her coffee, “Maybe one day I’ll order something different here.”  
  
We exchange a few words about our mornings, sliding into easy conversation right away, but I know one of us needs to start the conversation we actually came here to have.  
  
“So...”  
  
Our food arrives after a brief lull in the conversation, and I figure this may as well be the time.  
  
“Should we just uh, start right in on this or?”  
  
I glance over as the blonde nods, setting her mug down beside her plate.  
  
“We should. I think most importantly, we need to figure out what we’re going to tell Sofia.”  
  
I sip my coffee again and set it down too, considering the question. I’d thought about it most of the night, but I still didn’t really know how to proceed here.  
  
“I mean, how much of this do you think she really understands, anyway? She’s really just going to be happy you’re home again.”  
  
“She’s almost four though, Callie. She definitely understands that something’s been up – I mean, she could sense the tension between us. She knows mommy and mama haven’t both been living with her, that we don’t eat together anymore, play together. And she recognizes that she comes to ‘my’ house now to visit; that it’s a separate place. She’s probably been confused as hell about the whole thing, even if she’s gotten used to the routine.”  
  
I sigh a little, tucking hair behind my ear. I wish we hadn’t put our daughter through any of this.  
  
“Yeah, you’re right. She asked a  _lot_  of questions when you moved out. I don’t think she really knew what was happening, but she knew we were all upset.”  
  
“What did you tell her then?”  
  
She sounds almost worried, and I look up to meet her eyes. There’s definitely concern clouding her gaze.  
  
“I never told her anything beyond what we discussed, I promise. Just that sometimes grown-ups can’t get along anymore, so that means they can’t live together anymore either. She seemed to get it, but she just always kept asking where you were. Or why we didn't get along."  
  
We both start in on our sandwiches, mulling the situation over.  
  
“I think we just need to sit her down and explain that we...became friends again. That we thought we couldn’t be together anymore because we had a big, big fight, and we were both really sad for a long time, but then we realized that more than anything we still love each other deep down inside,” she touches her chest directly over her heart, “So we decided we wanted to live together again and be together always. Because that makes us...not sad anymore. And more importantly, we both love  _her_  so much that we wanted to all be together again. Because we’re a family.”  
  
I look over and smile a little, amazed at how this woman can always come up with just the right words to say. When she catches my eye she looks at me curiously, her brow rising in question.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Peds has given you such an unfair edge when it comes to talking to children.”  
  
She laughs a little, giving me a small smile.  
  
“Comes with the territory, I suppose. I promise to lead all the tough conversations with our children from here on out.”  
  
A grin tugs at my lips, and I just nod in agreement.  
  
“I like it. And I think that sounds...really good. I think that explains it in three-year-old terms.”  
  
“I’m sure she’ll have more questions, but I think it’s a start at least. Hopefully she can accept that without too much confusion...” Arizona sighs, setting down her sandwich, “You know, I really hate that this happened to her. Almost more than anything, that’s what I regret most about the whole thing. Turning her life upside down.”  
  
My eyes drop to the plate in front of me, my fingers fiddling a little with the bread, tearing a chunk off.  
  
“I know. She’s not even four yet and she’s had heart surgery, she lost her father...almost lost one of her mothers, now this. I felt guilty every day that I was causing more grief in those little eyes. Every time she asked for you.”  
  
My eyes are starting to water a bit, and I hastily reach up to wipe the corners, trying not to let them fall. I do feel guilty about Sofia. She’s been through so much in a short time – it hasn’t been the idyllic life I wanted to give her. The one she should have been having.  
  
“Hey,” Arizona’s voice carries softly across the table, and she reaches over to cover my hand with hers, “she’s a strong little girl, Callie. We know she is, we saw how hard she fought to stay with us when she was born. She’s resilient, and she’s smart, and most importantly she’s happy. It may not have been perfect so far, but our daughter is still happy – and that’s really what matters.”  
  
I swallow thickly as she rubs her thumb along mine, silently asking me to look up.  
  
“In all honesty? She probably won’t remember too much of this once she grows up. And what we  _can_  do is make sure it’s all happy memories going forward, right?”  
  
I nod silently and meet her eyes, letting out a defeated sigh. Shifting our hands so she can curl our fingers together, she looks at me with such love that I can’t help but let a small smile graze my face in return.  
  
“We will.”

 

  
*

 

  
“Okay, but is that really going to make sense though?”  
  
We had finished the rest of our lunch and moved on to discussing the ‘ground rules’ Arizona had mentioned for the two of us. I can’t say I entirely agree with them so far.  
  
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea if we...jump right back into a physical relationship, Callie. You know how we can get – we can be great together in bed, but never actually talk. And I don’t want us to use sex to just ignore our issues anymore.”  
  
Sighing a little in frustration, I lean back in my seat, giving her a  _look_.  
  
“Yes, I know that, Arizona. And that’s not what I’m saying...but I think we’re grown-up enough to share a bed without having sex for awhile. Don’t you think it will just confuse Sofia if you move back in, but you stay in the guest room? That’s not showing her that we’re okay.”  
  
The blonde sighs, draining the last of her second coffee before setting the mug down in front of her again.  
  
“Ok, fine. We share the bedroom...” she looks over, “but I mean it, Calliope. I think we need to keep things...PG-13 for awhile yet.”  
  
“Absolutely. PG-13, no worse than what’s happened on our dates so far.”  
  
She raises an eyebrow skeptically.  
  
“Are you going to be able to do that?”  
  
Leaning my elbows on the table, I give her an equally skeptical look. She thinks I’m the bad one?  
  
“Are  _you?_  Cause you’re the one who’s initiated most of the kisses over the last two months.”  
  
“You’re the one who seduced me and made love to me the night before you ended our marriage.”  
  
My eyes snap up to her face, and she immediately looks like she regrets letting the words out.  
  
“Oh, that is so not fair. It’s not like...god, Arizona, it’s not like I  _planned_  it that way!”  
  
She gives me a slightly incredulous look, a shade of hurt and...anger colouring her eyes.  
  
“So...we slept together and you only decided you wanted a divorce  _after_  that? Was it seriously that last-minute of a decision for you? You didn’t even have to think about it for a whole day?”  
  
I can feel my jaw clench a little at the bitter tone her voice has suddenly taken. Is that really what she thinks?  
  
“You know very well that’s not how it was.”  
  
Her eyes are vibrant with the sudden anger, but she just sits back quietly, crossing her arms. I watch her, holding her gaze firmly, and after a few minutes of tense silence between us she speaks again. Her voice is softer this time, anger and bitterness gone, but I can still hear the trace of hurt it carries.  
  
“That’s what it felt like.”  
  
My own anger leaves me immediately and I sigh heavily, reaching over to take her hand.  
  
“Arizona...”  
  
But the blonde chooses that moment to glance at her watch, and she draws back in her chair a little, shaking her head.  
  
“We need to get back to the hospital. It’s almost 2:30, I have surgery soon.”  
  
“Can we just...”  
  
She stands up and slips her jacket back on, looking down at me expectantly. I know her enough to know she’s resisting the urge to run right now, to walk out and head back alone.  
  
“Come on, Callie,” she says quietly, “we need to go.”  
  
I sigh softly, forcing myself to stay calm and be the rational one. I get up and pull my leather jacket back on, and follow her as she heads out of the café and onto the street.  
  
We start walking the short two blocks back to the hospital, and as we wait at the first crosswalk I pull my hand from my pocket and quietly slip it into hers where it hangs between us. I expect her to pull back but...she doesn’t. She glances quickly at me before the light changes and tightens her hold a little, and we continue walking silently back to work.  
  
I don't say anything either; I just take a breath, and decide to focus on the feeling of her hand in mine.  
  
One bump in the road is  _not_  going to ruin this for us. I'm not going to let it.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little difficult to write...so I hope it lives up to expectations. I could see it in my head, but not sure if it translated as well as I would have liked! Thank you all again for continuing to read -- your comments and constructive criticism mean the world to me!

**_Callie_ **

  
It isn't until much, much later that night that I finally get to speak to Arizona again. She'd had back to back surgeries into the evening, and then had briefly replied to my text that she was "with Herman" after that. Part of me wanted to sneak past their lounge and see if she actually was there or if she was just avoiding me, but I figured it was best to give her the benefit of the doubt if I was going to continue to earn her trust back.  
  
As I settle into bed, I vaguely wonder when we both stopped trusting each other in the first place. For me, the cheating had done it. Arizona had been the one person I never,  _ever_  thought would cheat on her marriage -- the one person I had trusted completely with my heart. For her, had it been the amputation? Or had it started long before that, with Sofia's conception? With my unwillingness to follow her to Africa? We had touched on the issue in therapy, but I never felt like we got anywhere with it. It frustrates me to no end. I want that trust back.  
  
I study the phone held in my hand, my thumb scrolling absently back and forth over her name in my contacts as I contemplate making the call.  
  
 _"I can't believe you didn't know if I was your girlfriend or not."  
  
I trace my finger along her bare shoulder as we lay facing each other in bed, a rare lazy Sunday descending upon us like a warm blanket.  
  
Her eyes drift up to meet mine, and she watches me, studying me in the quiet way she does sometimes.  
  
"I didn't want to assume."  
  
"You must have had tons of girlfriends before me, I figured you'd be used to it."  
  
She shifts a bit, and I let my fingers trace lazily down along her perfect collarbone, not noticing the sudden change in the air.  
  
"Only two, you know."  
  
I look up, brow furrowed slightly at her quiet admission.   
  
"How is that possible?"  
  
Arizona shrugs a little, rolling onto her back.  
  
"I've dated plenty of women. Slept with plenty. But you're only the third serious relationship I've had. I'm not entirely practiced in this."  
  
"Hey," I shift closer, wrapping an arm around her midsection and leaning up on my other elbow to look at her, "well you're pretty amazing at it, just so you know. You're an incredible girlfriend."  
  
"Tell that to the one who cheated on me after four years. Or the one who decided I was 'too difficult' after two."  
  
There's a trace of hurt and uncertainty in her voice that I've very rarely heard from her, and it takes me by surprise. The paediatric surgeon always exudes confidence.  
  
"I'm probably just not worth the commitment."  
  
I press my hand to her jaw and tilt her face gently, forcing her to look at me.  
  
"Arizona, you have no idea how amazing you are. I don't know what was wrong with those women, but they were clearly idiots."  
  
She pulls away, shaking her head with a forced smile.  
  
"Callie, don't. Let's just enjoy our Sunday off."  
  
She rolls to face me again, sliding her hand under the blankets to smooth over my waist, pressing closer.  
  
"No," I cup her cheek and meet her eyes, holding her gaze until I'm sure she's not going to look away again, "Arizona, listen to me. I am in this, I'm committed. To me, you are worth...everything. You have to trust me."  
  
There are three words I so desperately want to add. Words I've been starting to feel for awhile now, that I know are true. I already trust her completely with my heart, as if it's pure instinct. But something inside me is terrified of exposing myself first; terrified to tell her that.  
  
"Don't you see? That's the problem," she whispers, nuzzling her face into my neck with a soft, almost hesitant sigh, "I do trust you, Calliope. More than either of them."_  
  
I press the button and hold the phone to my ear, desperately hoping that she's home and that she'll pick up. We need to talk about what happened at lunch. I'm not going to let this set back any progress we've made.  
  
"Callie?"   
  
When she answers her voice sounds tired, although thankfully not as if I've woken her from sleep. I glance at the bedside clock and see that it's nearing one in the morning, but I guess I'm not the only one who's restless tonight.  
  
"Hey," I start quietly, "I'm glad you answered. I hope I didn't wake you..."  
  
"You didn't," she sighs, "I got home awhile ago, but I haven't been able to fall asleep."  
  
I can picture her; curled up on her side, blonde curls spread across the pillow, blankets pulled up to her chin like they always are when she can't sleep. Like she's trying to make a safe little cocoon.   
  
"I wanted to talk about earlier..."  
  
"I'm sorry I said it," she cuts me off quietly, "I didn't mean it like that."  
  
Rolling to settle on my back, I draw the pillow over from the other side of the bed, hugging it against my torso.  
  
"You did mean it, though. You don't say things you don't mean."  
  
I hear blankets rustle, and it takes her a minute to respond.  
  
"Honestly? I was hurt. That night..." she hesitates, her voice dropping to a quiet pitch, "I thought that night meant something at the time, Callie. I thought...when we were laying in bed after, and you were curled up around me, I really felt like things were going to be okay. I was  _devastated_  the next day to learn that they weren't. That it had been...some kind of goodbye."  
  
I close my eyes, remembering that night in this very bed. I don’t regret it, but I do regret how it made Arizona feel. It wasn’t something I even thought about at the time.  
  
“I never meant it to be...I didn’t want to hurt you intentionally, Arizona. Please trust me when I say that.”  
  
I’m met with nothing but silence from the other end of the phone, so I take a breath and speak again.  
  
“I had been thinking about it for awhile,” I admit quietly, staring up at the dark ceiling, “I think I knew about halfway through that we weren’t going to be able to fix anything, that...it was just all too much. But I couldn’t admit it. I just couldn’t. That night...I just needed to be with you. I needed to feel like you wanted me. That you were even still attracted to me after everything.”  
  
There’s still a painful silence hovering between us.  
  
“I guess...I wanted to see if it could change anything...I was trying to stick another band-aid on. I'm sorry.”  
  
Swallowing past a lump that’s forming in my throat, I wipe at my eyes in the dark. I had been so blinded by a desperate hope that we could magically fix all our problems.  
  
I can hear a slight rustling – the only thing letting me know that she’s still on the other end of the line, and if nothing else it comforts me a little.  
  
“Calliope Torres,” my name falls from her lips in a heartfelt tone, “there has not been a day in the last five and a half years that I have not been attracted to you. Not a single day.”  
  
I scoff a little, unintentionally, but she immediately picks up on it.  
  
“I mean that, Calliope. I have been so mad I just wanted to shake you, and so hurt and emotionally damaged that I didn’t want to talk to you, or even be around you, and there was a time I  _couldn't_  be with you because I was insecure about myself – but when I see you, every time I see you, I  _want_  you. You are the most beautiful, heart-stoppingly gorgeous woman I have ever met. You may still have some doubts about me, but don't you ever doubt that.”  
  
She finishes on a small sigh, her voice filled with honesty and almost a tone of reverence. I wipe at my eyes again, willing myself to respond.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Arizona...”  
  
“Don’t...don’t,” she murmurs into the phone, “it’s okay, I believe you. We’ve both made mistakes.”  
  
I sniffle a little, curling onto my side with the pillow still clutched in my arms.  
  
“Are we...?”  
  
She seems to know just what I need, and she doesn’t hesitate.  
  
“We’re going to be okay.”  
  
There’s another long pause between us, neither of us seeming to make any motion to hang up the phone. I don’t want us to. We haven’t stayed on the phone all night in years, hadn’t really had reason, or opportunity to. But I’ve always felt a certain sense of peace knowing she’s on the other end.  
  
“How come we couldn’t have talked like this before?” I murmur, sighing a little, “Why didn’t we ever just... _talk?_ ”  
  
“I don’t know,” she answers honestly after a pause, “but we’re talking now.”  
  
A yawn suddenly escapes me, sleep finally starting to settle over my mind now that we’ve cleared the air between us.  
  
“Always?”  
  
I hear her soft breathing in my ear, and it just serves to calm me even further. She's my favourite lullaby.  
  
“Always.”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
I wake up, rolling over with a yawn, and hear a thud as something heavy falls from the blankets onto the floor. I look over the side of the bed and see my phone, and I smile when I remember why it was in bed with me in the first place.  
  
Scooping it up, I see that it disconnected at some point during the night, so I send off a quick text to Callie instead.  
  
 _-When are you off tonight? Maybe the three of us can have supper._  
  
I set the phone aside and rub my eyes, sighing tiredly before I push myself up to the edge of the bed, reaching for my leg. I’ve barely slipped the sophisticated piece of machinery on when my phone chimes with a reply, and I grin as I read it, heading over to the closet to find some clothes for the day.  
  
 _-6:30, you? I took a poll, and we would both love that. Sof wants your mac and cheese  
  
-I can arrange that. Should be done by 6, so I’ll pick her up  
  
-Can’t wait. See you at home if not before._  
  
I read her last text over a few times, feeling another smile creep up. Callie was right last night – why couldn’t we have just talked before? We’d been in a relationship for five years, married for three, and...we’ve probably spoken more honestly and fully to each other in the past two months than we ever did then. If we had just done things differently, if we just hadn’t both been so stubborn...  
  
I sigh, tossing the phone on the bed while I go about getting ready. I need to stop having regrets and just be happy that we’re moving forward – better late than never, right?  
  
As I stand at the mirror and quickly smooth down my unruly curls, my eyes fall to the small black jewelry box sitting on the dresser. Part of me feels like it’s too soon; we’re still on somewhat unsteady ground, which is the exact opposite of what that little box represented when I got it. But yet...I pick it up, pulling the top open to see the small gold heart nestled inside.  
  
My heart does still belong to her. And now, she  _wants_  it again.  
  
Gently pulling the chain from the box I lift it around my neck, clasping it and letting it fall into place above my breasts.  
  
It feels like coming home.

 

  
*

 

  
Later on that day, I spot my favourite neurosurgeon at the coffee cart and sidle over beside her, handing over a few dollars to the girl as I order my coffee.  
  
“So,” I lower my voice a little, standing close to the other doctor, “how’s Herman doing? She seemed a little off her game after her appointment with you.”  
  
The girl from the cart passes over my coffee, and I turn to walk with Amelia, giving her a concerned glance. I hadn’t been at my mentor’s scan this morning because we’d had an emergency with one of our post-ops, and she insisted that she’d be fine on her own. But she’d been...quiet after lunch. She had barely said a thing about it.  
  
“You should talk to her.”  
  
Furrowing my brow a bit, I look over at my friend.  
  
“She listed me as...next of kin last week. You know you can tell me what’s going on. I need to know, Amelia. The only reason I wasn’t there this morning is because I was dealing with one of our patients.”  
  
She sips her coffee, glancing around as we head toward the lounge, and lets out a slight sigh.  
  
“I know.”  
  
Grabbing her forearm, I stop her movements, turning to face her. I have always been able to read Amelia Shepherd like a book, and that hasn't changed one bit over the years.  
  
“Amy...”  
  
“It’s not going to be long, Arizona. On the scan this morning...the tumour has grown. A lot since last time. We might be looking at a few days before surgery needs to happen. I’d say a week at most, and honestly that's probably generous.”  
  
I feel myself inhale sharply, a sudden feeling of panic gripping my chest. Despite how our relationship started out, I’ve grown to care for the older doctor over the last few months. And while we all knew this day would come, it never felt like it would be quite this soon.   
  
“Yeah,” Amelia just lets out a sigh, almost like she’s already steeling herself for the fight, “I wouldn’t make too many plans for the next few days.”  
  
“I’m moving back in with Callie this weekend.”  
  
I say the first thing that comes to mind, regardless of how inappropriate it may be at that very moment. I know if I dwell on Nicole and her surgery, it won't be doing anybody any favours.  
  
The brunette's lips twitch into a small smile, and she nudges my shoulder as we continue our walk down the hall.  
  
“Glad you went with your gut, Robbins. You’re happy about it, right?”  
  
I smile then too, looking over to meet her eyes.  
  
“I can’t wait.”  
  
“You should tell Herman that. She’s completely rooting for you guys, it’s kinda sweet. Who knew she had a soft side?”  
  
I blink a little, downing the rest of my coffee in a quick gulp.  
  
“Wait, what did she say?”  
  
Amelia just grins, turning into the lounge and leaving me behind her.  
  
“Oh, we talked about you guys all morning.”

 

  
*

 

  
We have another successful surgery that afternoon, and Herman really is happy for me, despite, of course, starting the conversation with an “I told you so.” I can’t drag out of her what she talked about with Amelia – all I get is a smirk, which worries me knowing her – but she seems genuinely pleased about the whole thing.  
  
I, meanwhile, am just growing more and more worried about her. But that's not something she lets me voice, so I leave it be for today.  
  
Soon enough I’m done for the day, so I head up to daycare and collect a bubbly, excited little girl. I grin as she runs over to me and scoop her into a hug, nuzzling her silky hair; it doesn’t matter what kind of day I have, hearing her delighted, innocent little giggle instantly makes everything 110% better. I sign her out and take her hand, heading downstairs and out to the car. She tells me about her day at preschool, and then about the Play-Doh frogs she was making with Zola when I interrupted – although she then assures me that it was okay to interrupt, because we were having supper together.  
  
It strikes me as I listen to my daughter’s voice how very,  _very_  much I do want another child with Callie. After the miscarriage, after feeling that devastation, I’d told myself that it didn’t matter – that I didn’t really want another anyway. I tried to convince myself that it had probably been a good thing I lost the baby. But the truth is...I have loved every minute of being Sofia’s mother. Of course the surrogate idea had turned into a complete mess on us after that, but I still feel the yearning for more.  
  
After getting settled in the car and heading out we stop at the grocery store on the way home, picking up all the ingredients for grandma Barbara’s famous mac and cheese recipe – one of the few dishes I actually excel at cooking. After some cajoling by Sofia, I also grab a bottle of sugary grape juice as a treat, because really, tonight is a sort of celebration. It certainly is for me, anyway.  
  
"Mama? Mama!"  
  
I look down when the small child tugs at my hand on the way back to the car, carefully glancing both ways as we cross the parking lot.  
  
"Yes, baby?"  
  
"Mommy is coming for supper too?"  
  
Lifting both her and the bags into the backseat, I can't help smile at her question.  
  
"Yep. We're all having supper at home, together."  
  
I get her strapped in, and she seems to be contemplating my answer, a serious, thoughtful look coming over her face.  
  
"I like when we together."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
The house smells amazing when I get home after work. God, I haven't come home to the smell of supper in...almost half a year now. At most there's been a babysitter there, and more often than not it's just me and Sofia coming home to a dark, cold house. I'd forgotten how nice it could be.  
  
There are lights on in the living room, and the kitchen at the back of the house, and I can hear Arizona and Sofia talking and giggling over something that is apparently terribly amusing. I make my way down to the kitchen and find myself standing on the threshold, completely unnoticed. The scene in front of me brings a grin to my face though.  
  
"Mama, no! I want to do it."  
  
The blonde hands over a set of wooden spoons and slides the salad bowl over in front of our daughter, who is perched on a chair to bring her up to counter height.  
  
"But gently this time, right sweetie? Not like the bread crumbs please."  
  
Sofia waves the spoons around a bit before shoving them into the bowl of lettuce and slowly, if a little haphazardly, mixing them around.  
  
"I got it, don't worries."  
  
I pull my phone out and snap a quick picture, knowing the sound of the camera will give me away.  
  
"It's like Master Chef in here! Wow, it smells amazing."  
  
I walk around the island and drop a kiss on Sofia's head, but she barely even looks up, choosing to concentrate on the task at hand. Arizona turns and smiles when I press a kiss to her temple too, and I feel like the pure domestic bliss of this moment is instantly burned into my memory. To me, this is perfection.  
  
"Supper's just about ready, you're just in time."   
  
Arizona squeezes my waist and slips around me to the oven, grabbing the oven mitts on the counter.  
  
"How was your day? I don't think I even saw you in passing."  
  
I lean beside Sofia and watch as she pulls the fragrant casserole out of the oven, silently admiring the toned muscles of her arms in the t-shirt she's wearing. And the way she looks in those jeans. She sets the dish on the counter and shuts off the oven, turning and giving me an amused glance.  
  
"Callie?"  
  
"Hm?" I look up, blinking a bit, "Oh! Yeah, day was good. I did two knee replacements, and spent some time working in the prosthesis lab."  
  
She helps Sofia finish with the salad and lifts her down from the chair, handing me the bowl and pointing me toward the already-set table.  
  
"How's that coming lately?"  
  
Unable to help myself, I wrap my free arm around her waist and tug her a step closer, lightly dropping a kiss on her lips.  
  
"Mm, it's going really great. You know, just casually creating groundbreaking robotics."  
  
"Mommy!"  
  
Both of us look over toward the table and Sofia is just standing there, hands on her little hips, giving me a raised eyebrow that is not at all unlike her blonde mother's.  
  
"Stop kissin. I'm hungry!"  
  
"But I love kissing Mama. I'm so happy she's here."  
  
I see Arizona glance at me, a questioning look in her eyes -- I know she's thinking we should have the talk with our daughter, but everything right now seems to be falling into place so simply.  
  
I do pull away though, crouching down to the child's level to look at her.  
  
"Sof...Mama is going to live here again. She's going to move back from Uncle Alex's house. Isn't that good news?"  
  
The girl's expression changes, her eyebrows knit together in thought.  
  
"You said you didn't wanna live with Mama anymore."  
  
She looks at Arizona, and the blonde comes closer, smoothing a hand protectively over the small head of dark hair.  
  
"I know, sweetie. But mama and I have talked a lot, and even though we were really angry, and really sad with each other...we still love each other very much. So we decided not to fight anymore."  
  
Arizona crouches too, wrapping her arms loosely around the child's middle.  
  
"And I missed living with you and Mommy so,  _so_  much, Sofia. I love both of you more than anything."  
  
She twists a bit to look at her mother, then looks back at me again, thoughtfully taking in our words.  
  
"Did you be married again?"  
  
Completely taken aback at her question, I blank a bit and glance to Arizona for help. She seamlessly takes over and yet again, I can't help admire the ease she has with our daughter.  
  
"No...we're not, but we still want to be together as a family. Because it wasn't much fun being a family but being apart, was it?"  
  
Her nose wrinkles up -- also, I notice, a very Arizona expression -- and she gives us a somewhat exasperated sigh.  
  
"It was no fun at  _all_. Together is better."  
  
Arizona smiles at me over her head, kissing her cheek and pushing herself back to standing.  
  
"I agree. Much better."  
  
I look back at our daughter, smoothing her t-shirt down on her belly.  
  
"Do you...have any questions, Sof?"  
  
"Yah."  
  
She turns and heads to the table, climbing nimbly up onto her chair.  
  
"Can we have mac an' cheeses now?"

 

  
*

 

  
After supper and a hundredth or so re-watch of Frozen, Sofia is finally tucked into bed and fast asleep, and I trail down the hall toward to kitchen to see where Arizona disappeared to after kissing her goodnight and leaving story time to me.   
  
The light above the counter is on in the kitchen and I find the blonde standing at the sink washing up some dishes from earlier, and -- I pause just a few steps behind her as I approach -- singing under her breath. I groan inwardly at the familiar tune. That damn song from the movie.  
  
"Please tell me you're going to stop singing that song."  
  
Sidling up behind her, I wrap my arms loosely around her hips and lean my chin on her shoulder with a dramatic sigh.  
  
"Why, Calliope, is there a problem? Let it gooo, let it gooooo..."   
  
I groan, pulling back as she starts laughing. Her laughter is music to my ears -- but seriously, I cannot hear that song one more time.  
  
"You do know that Sofia and I already decided to be Elsa and Anna for Halloween, right?" she rinses the last dish and sets it in the drying rack, grabbing the towel to dry her hands before hanging it back over the handle of the oven.  
  
"Wait, if you're Elsa and she's Ana, then who am I?"  
  
Arizona bites her lip a little, trying to hold back a grin. I raise an eyebrow questioningly, hands coming to rest on my hips. This can't be good.  
  
"She wants you to be Sven."  
  
I'm sure the look I give her is a horrified one, because she bursts out laughing again.  
  
"Oh my god. I can't even be the snowman? I have to be the  _deer?_ "  
  
"Reindeer," she corrects matter-of-factly, "and you'll have to take that up with little miss."   
  
She grins, patting my cheek lightly.  
  
"Don't worry, you have like seven months to convince her otherwise."  
  
I catch her wrists and place her arms around my neck as I let my own slide over her waist once more, pulling her into an embrace. Leaning in, I nuzzle her cheek and kiss her softly before I reply.  
  
"You two are impossible."  
  
Blue eyes meet mine and she smiles, letting her fingers slip in under my hair to caress my neck.  
  
"But you love us."  
  
I kiss her again, sighing softly as she relaxes against me.  
  
"That I do. Tonight went well, didn't it?"   
  
I pose the question quietly, watching her eyes for an answer. I think tonight went really well -- Sofia seemed to understand our explanation, at least for now, and we'd had a really, really nice family evening. It felt so comfortable having Arizona back in the house like this, moving around her and sharing the space, seemingly in sync again like we'd been years ago.  
  
"I think tonight went really well. I had a wonderful night, Callie. And Sofia was happy."  
  
"I'm happy too."  
  
This time she's the one who kisses me, and she keeps it soft and sweet and lazy as we stand with our arms around each other. I sigh happily against her, letting my fingers just graze over bare skin under the hem of her shirt.  
  
"Can we make a rule?" I pull back as we break apart, resting my hands on her hips lightly, "At least twice a week, we do family dinner, just like this. More if possible, but I mean, our schedules are always going to be kind of crazy."  
  
Arizona's face brightens at the idea, and she immediately nods in agreement.  
  
"At  _least_  twice a week. We make every effort possible."  
  
"Now that's settled..." I lean in and nuzzle her ear again lightly, hearing the slight catch in her breath as I do, "Do you want to just stay here tonight?"  
  
"Mm, no...as tempting as that is, I have to be in really early tomorrow and I didn't bring anything with me. I should just go home to Alex's tonight."  
  
She pulls out of my arms, glancing over at the clock above the table, and I sigh inwardly. I'm just impatient now for her to be here, and two more days seems far too long to wait.   
  
I walk with her as she heads down to the front door, and I grab her jacket from the hooks on the wall, handing it to her with a small smile.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow then."  
  
Taking her jacket, she rests a hand on my arm and leans up, kissing me slowly.  
  
"I love you. See you tomorrow, Calliope."  
  
It's only when she pulls back this time that I see the glint of a gold chain around her neck, and my heart catches in my throat a little as I stare at it. I reach over and slide my finger along the neckline of her shirt, gently pulling the chain over the fabric to find the small heart pendant I know is hanging at the end. I run my thumb over it gently, looking up to meet her eyes.  
  
"You're wearing it again."  
  
She looks down at the pendant as I let it go, softly placing it down against her chest.  
  
"It felt like time," she fingers it carefully, giving me a small smile.  
  
My smile broadens, and my heart pounds with the sheer love I feel for this woman. I pull the door open reluctantly for her and wait as she steps outside to leave.  
  
"I love you too."

 


	13. Chapter 13

**_Arizona_ **

  
Amelia takes Herman into surgery the next day. Her eyesight started failing before we even made it into our morning surgery, and suddenly...it was time.  
  
I perform our surgery without her. The baby was going to die otherwise. I was terrified.  
  
But I was  _successful_.  
  
I’m not one to pray, but I pray it was a good sign.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I find Arizona in the lounge she and Dr. Herman had taken over as their own. After learning that Amelia was taking her mentor into surgery, and then hearing that Arizona was in her first fetal surgery all on her own, I knew that I needed to find the blonde and see if she was okay.  
  
When I step quietly through the doorway, I immediately see that she's...not. She's sitting on the couch alone. And she's crying.  
  
“Arizona...” I murmur her name, closing the door and going over to sit beside the smaller woman.  
  
Seeing Arizona cry has always broken my heart – but the look on her face when she glances over at me makes it clench almost painfully in my chest. Watery blue eyes meet mine and she just leans into me, a small muffled sob being pressed against my shoulder as I wrap my arms around her, just silently holding her for a few minutes while the tears come in earnest.  
  
“Your surgery...you flew solo. Did it not...” I trail off, whispering softly as I rub my hand along her back.  
  
“It went perfectly.”  
  
Her response is muffled until she lifts her head a little, reaching up to wipe at her cheeks.  
  
“It went perfectly. They’re going to be fine. But...” the tears fall again and she wipes at her eyes, “Nicole...”  
  
“Is doing really well. Amelia has been amazing in there.”  
  
I reach up and wipe my thumb below her eyes, smoothing away tears before I cup her cheek softly.  
  
“Do you want to go watch?”  
  
Arizona lets out a shaky breath, shaking her head a little as she sits up again.  
  
“I can’t. I can’t watch, Callie...I just...”  
  
I slide my arm around her waist and just wait, offering up the silent support I sought her out to give.  
  
“She’s in my head, Callie,” her voice is no louder than a whisper as she looks over at me, “After these last five months...she is  _in_  my head. And I’m not...I’m not ready for my head to be the only place she exists.”  
  
I can see her swallow hard as she wipes at her eyes again, and I just tighten my hold, reaching up to smooth some hair back behind her ear.  
  
“And if something goes wrong...if she...if she doesn’t wake up, she told  _me_  to make the decision. She told me what she wants. But...I don’t...I can’t do this alone.”  
  
“Hey,” I gently tilt her chin so she’s looking at me, making sure she hears me, “You are not alone, do you hear me? You’re not alone, Arizona. No matter what happens.”  
  
She just watches me for a minute, and her eyes well up again as she clasps her hand over mine.  
  
“You were alone. You had to do this for Mark...and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”  
  
I let out a breath, the memories of those last days with my best friend slamming into me with full force at the mention of his name.  
  
“Arizona...” I bring our hands down and thread my fingers firmly through hers, tears prickling at the back of my own eyes now, “you were barely alive yourself...you would have been there, but I couldn’t have burdened you with all of it. I just needed  _you_  to stay alive.”  
  
She looks away, her shoulders slumping slightly in defeat, her voice low and quiet.  
  
“It wasn’t fair. Mark should have lived. I did everything I could, Callie...I did  _everything_  to keep him alive too.”  
  
Her quiet admission takes me by surprise – she had never spoken more than a sentence or two about those days after the crash, and even then, they’d been extremely vague. And I hadn’t asked because...how could I? I couldn’t ask her that, not with everything else she was going through. I’d heard bits and pieces from Cristina and Meredith, but neither had ever really spoken about the peds surgeon.  
  
She shakes her head as I watch her, letting out something that’s half laugh, but more sob, wiping at her cheeks.  
  
“I held him in my lap for four days and he kept...he just kept  _dying_  on me. I tried so hard to stay awake to make sure...Cristina kept starting his heart again and I begged him, I  _begged_  him not to leave me. Not to leave all of us. All I could think about was getting back to you and to Sofia, all I wanted was to see you again, and for Sofia to have her dad...”  
  
Her tears fall more freely now and she doesn’t even move to hide them. I just stare at her, shocked, as I listen to her words.  
  
“For you to get your best friend back. I tried so hard, Callie. He should have lived and it’s not  _fair_.”  
  
Wiping at the tears falling from my own eyes, I silently reach for her, and she doesn’t resist when I pull her into my arms. I need to feel her as much as she needs me though.  
  
“None of it was fair,” I whisper, pressing my cheek against her hair, “and you brought him back, Arizona. You let me say goodbye, let him see our daughter again.”  
  
She lets me settle us against the back of the couch, her hand clinging tightly to the fabric of my scrub top as if she’s afraid to let me go, and she just rests her head in the crook of my neck silently. We stay that way for a few minutes, neither one of us saying another word, and I think over everything she’s just told me. She's given me more details about her days after the crash than I ever thought I would know, and I feel my eyes well up again at the overwhelming realization that even then...even in excruciating pain, even barely hanging onto life herself...she had been thinking of me.  
  
“I wish you had come to Boise.”  
  
When she speaks again, it’s barely a murmur against my skin, and I look down to find her eyes.  
  
“You told me not to...Arizona, you begged me not to. You were hysterical, you begged me not to get on a plane...”  
  
I cup her cheek softly, my heart clenching painfully. I’d wanted nothing else than to immediately be at her side – when I found out she was  _alive_  all I wanted was to be with her. I thought of nothing else until I heard her voice on the phone pleading with me to wait.  
  
“I know,” she sighs heavily, “I know. And I didn’t...god, I didn’t want you to get on a plane. I was terrified. It’s all I really remember about being in the hospital there...being terrified when I heard that you were coming for me. Terrified that your plane would crash too. That Sofia would lose all of us.”  
  
Stroking my thumb lightly along her cheek, I watch the pain flash across blue eyes as the memories come to her. I wish I had never listened – I should have been there, I should have been with her every single moment after she was pulled from those woods.  
  
“I should have come anyway,” I whisper, sighing heavily, “but you are not alone anymore, Arizona. You will never be alone.”  
  
She just rests her head against me again, the last tears drying on her cheeks, and her hand relaxes to just rest under my lab coat against my side. I keep my arm firmly around her, letting my own head lean on the top of hers, and our breathing quietly evens out in the otherwise silent room.  
  
And we wait.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
We wait for two days, and I push our surgeries. I leave her room to check on the patients we still have in recovery, and once to help Alex on a case, but I spend most of time by her beside, willing her to wake up.  
  
I don’t want her to die. I don’t want to lose her – as a mentor or as a friend. As a person.  
  
Saturday morning I see Callie watching through the window of the room, and I let out a heavy sigh, immediately heading over to her. She greets me wordlessly with a hug, and I bury my nose in her hair for a brief moment to draw comfort from her familiar scent.  
  
“I’m sorry, Callie...” I pull back, running a hand through my hair, “I know I was going to get my stuff moved today...and tonight I had all these plans, but...”  
  
She cuts me off with a finger to my lips, and she smiles gently.  
  
“Nothing to apologize for. And if you want...Alex gave me his keys. I can pack up the rest of your things and bring them home.”  
  
I feel my lips pulling into their first smile in days, and I gaze at her gratefully. She is such a wonderful woman. I’m so lucky to have her back in my life.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
I hug her again tightly, holding on for a minute before I let her go and stand back.  
  
“Where’s Sofia today? Tell her I’m sorry about this morning...I promised her we’d get pancakes...”  
  
She smiles, squeezing my hand.  
  
“It’s okay, she understood. And she’s off with Zola and Bailey and the nanny – they went to the aquarium for the day. I promise you she has long forgotten about pancakes.”  
  
I nod, glancing back toward the hospital room again as a nurse heads in.  
  
“Go on,” Callie urges, “But you should come home tonight, Arizona. You need a real night’s sleep.”  
  
“Yeah,” I smile a little distractedly, nodding my head, “I’ll try. I’ll talk to you later.”  
  
I head back into the room and pull the chair back over beside Nicole’s bed, looking up at her monitors with a sigh.  
  
Still no change.  
  
I need her to wake up.

 

  
*

 

  
We wait another two days. I haven’t been home yet.  
  
Amelia is just finishing a check-up and she sighs heavily, meeting my eyes across the hospital bed.  
  
“Arizona...you might have to start thinking about things.”  
  
“No,” I cut her off, even though I know what she’s saying is true, “not yet.”  
  
And almost as if she’s heard us – almost as if she’s pulling out of her coma precisely to tell the neurosurgeon off – I hear a quiet, raspy cough from the bed, and I look down to see the woman suddenly struggling against her breathing tube.  
  
“Oh my god. Amelia.”  
  
But the other doctor is already in action, immediately launched into professional mode as she speaks soothing words to her patient, quickly and carefully getting the tube out and re-checking all her stats.  
  
Eyes widening, I stare down at the bed, grasping the older doctor’s hand from where it lays prone beside her. After a few minutes, the breathing tube is gone and her eyes open with some noticeable effort. She coughs again, and her voice is rough but clear when she speaks.  
  
“I’m alive.”  
  
There are tears clouding my eyes but I can’t help but laugh, squeezing her hand tightly between mine. She’s back.  
  
“You are. And I am so glad to see you.”  
  
Amelia is still checking her over, and when she pulls out her light to check Nicole’s eyes I see a small crease form on her brow.  
  
“I can’t see you.”  
  
Freezing, I look back to my mentor’s face.  
  
“You...can you see anything? At all?” I ask hesitantly, although I think I already know the answer judging by the look on Amelia’s face.  
  
Nicole coughs roughly again, her hand holding mine tightly.  
  
“Not a damn thing. You better not be crying, Robbins.”  
  
Amelia glances over at me as I quickly wipe at my eyes, and she nods a little toward me.  
  
“Nicole, I’ll be back in a little bit. We’ll want to run a few scans to make sure everything looks alright.”  
  
She grabs the chart and scribbles a quick note before heading out, giving us a few minutes alone. I look down at my mentor – my friend – again, and I give her hand another squeeze, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.  
  
“I’m not crying.”  
  
“You so are.”  
  
Her voice is still raspy, and she coughs with a slight groan.  
  
“Let me get you some water...”  
  
I go to slip my hand from hers but she grips tightly, holding me in place.  
  
“Robbins, why are you crying? I woke up, didn’t I?”  
  
Swallowing a small lump in my throat, I step closer again, letting her keep our hands linked.  
  
“But your sight...you can’t...you’ll never...”  
  
She gives me an exasperated sigh, and turns her head toward me, following the sound of my voice.  
  
“You are so dense sometimes,” she states matter-of-factly, sounding more and more like herself already, “The point is, I’m  _alive_ , Arizona. I’m alive and it’s because of you. Because you’re too damn stubborn to mind your own business.”  
  
I can’t help the short laugh that escapes me, and I shake my head at this impossible woman laying in front of me. Just woken up and already telling me off.  
  
“I’m glad I didn’t mind my own business.”  
  
As if coming to a sudden realization, her brow furrows a bit and she looks toward me again.  
  
“How did the surgery go? On Adams?”  
  
“It went fine,” I smile, thinking back to the other day, “mom and unborn baby are perfect. She went home yesterday actually.”  
  
She squeezes my hand, a small smile crossing her face.  
  
“I knew I picked the right horse. Did you move home yet?”  
  
Of all the things she could remember after waking from a four-day coma. Although I shouldn’t be surprised, knowing her.  
  
“I...kind of?” I wince a little, feeling badly when I think about Callie, “Callie moved my things home two days ago. I...haven’t been there yet.”  
  
Nicole lets go of my hand, patting my forearm lightly before resting her arm up over her abdomen.  
  
“Go home, Robbins. I’m fine now.”  
  
“I’m not going to leave you all alone now that you’re awake,” I frown, fixing her blanket a little.  
  
“Go. Home.”  
  
Her voice is firm when she speaks, and she gives me a little grin.  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Go home to that girl of yours."  
  
She pauses, and I raise an eyebrow slightly because I can tell she's got something else to say.  
  
"And then tell me all about it."

 

  
*

 

  
The house is mostly dark as I unlock the door and head inside. It's well past Sofia's bedtime, and as much as I want to spend some time with her, I don't want to wake her up for it. I make my way quietly through the house, leaving the lights off as I head toward the glow emanating from the bedroom.  _Our_  bedroom, I smile a little to myself. I love our bedroom.   
  
Callie hears my steps and she looks up from her book as I stop in the doorway, a look of concern immediately clouding her face.   
  
"Arizona? I didn't expect you...oh, god, is she..."  
  
I come around the side of the bed as she sits up and just slide my hands over her shoulders, stepping between her legs.  
  
"She's awake. And she's...okay. She's alive."  
  
I laugh a little out of sheer relief, the stress of the last week finally starting to leave my body. Nicole is going to be alright. And I'm here, I'm here in my home with Callie and when I see her smile up at me nothing else in the world really matters.  
  
"She's alive. And you know what? So am I. So are  _you_." I cup her cheeks, cradling her face in my hands, "And I am so, so tired of living my life without you."  
  
When I kiss her, everything else that I'd been worried and stressed about instantly fades away. I hear her surprised breath as my lips meet hers, and my hands slide up into her hair of their own volition -- just needing to touch her, needing to  _feel_  her. We have spent too much time circling around each other and now that we're making this work, now that we've given ourselves another chance, I am not wasting another second.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I was surprised to see Arizona come home, and after a momentary panic I was relieved to hear it was because of good news. I'd been worried about her -- worried that too much was happening at once. But when she claims my lips with her own everything I'm thinking disappears, and suddenly there's only the taste and the scent and the warmth of the beautiful woman in front of me. And nothing else matters.  
  
"I love you."  
  
She murmurs against my lips between kisses and she shifts forwards, eliminating the space between us as her arms wrap around my neck and her hand cradles the back of my head.  
  
I give myself over completely and instinctually as she deepens the kiss, the taste and the feel of her continuing to flood my senses as my hands slide over slender hips, feeling the heat emanating from her skin. I slip under the fabric of her shirt and it's like I've lit a fire in the blonde as a low moan slips from her throat and she pulls back, fumbling open the buttons and in an instant discarding the blouse to the floor. She tugs at the old t-shirt I'm wearing and I let her pull it off, watching her face as her eyes roam hungrily over my body, her hands immediately following to smooth over the skin of my abdomen and up to almost reverently cup my breasts.  
  
"You are... _so_  beautiful."  
  
The words leave her lips in a whisper and I smile, reaching for the body I've desperately missed these past five months. I let my hands trail lightly along her ribs, and up, tracing the dip between her breasts as her breath quickens slightly.  
  
"You are breathtaking, Arizona."  
  
I drop my hands and pop open the button on her jeans, holding her gaze as I smoothly lower the zipper and push them off her hips.  
  
"I want more."  
  
She leans in then and kisses me deeply once more, helping me push the fabric down her legs and only pulling back again when she needs to step out of them, kicking them aside. My hands wander along her waist and I sigh happily at the expanse of smooth, beautiful skin now bared in front of me. I look up to meet her eyes again and she watches me with her deep, sapphire gaze as my hands slide over her hips, smoothing down to caress her perfect thighs.  
  
Smiling slowly, an almost coy look on her face, she reaches back and unclasps her bra, shrugging the lacy fabric off to join the pile on the floor. She leans over me, hands sliding around the back of my neck, and I shiver as I feel warm breath on my ear when she whispers.  
  
"I've been thinking about this for so long."  
  
The blonde pushes me back on the bed and I comply with a grin, watching as she hooks slender fingers into my pajama shorts and pulls them down my legs.   
  
"Mm, seems like you've been thinking about this too," she murmurs under her breath, trailing her fingers lightly between my thighs before bringing them to her lips, a soft groan sounding in her throat as she tastes just how much I want her.  
  
And  _god_ , do I want her.  
  
She slips her leg off and divests herself of remaining clothing in a fluid motion, crawling over me and grinning playfully as she smooths her palm up to my breasts again, squeezing and kneading as my eyes flutter shut.  
  
"You have no idea," I groan, arching up to meet her touch, "God, I've missed you."  
  
The words barely leave me and her lips are covering mine once more, claiming my mouth in a way that's both passionate and possessive, a paradox of tenderness and fire that leaves me breathless. No one has ever made me feel what this woman does -- nothing can compare to what she ignites inside of me.  
  
She lowers her head, tracing her lips along the angle of my jaw and down along my collarbone, her mouth hot and wet against my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her, a breathless plea escaping me as I shudder under her touch, and I feel her lips curve into a smile before she continues her motion, trailing kisses down between my breasts and lavishing them with her tongue as a pleased moan sounds deep in her throat.  
  
Her palm is hot on my skin as she caresses my thigh, impatiently slipping between them to seek out the hot, molten evidence of my arousal. She nips lightly at my breast as she does, murmuring something against my skin that I can't even process because suddenly her fingers are sliding into me and filling me in a way that leaves me gasping for air.  
  
At first she moves them slowly, her fingertips only lightly exploring and curling inside me, her breath hot again on my neck as she kisses and sucks at my pulse point. She's marking me -- I can feel her lips and tongue and teeth working against my skin, and I remember all too well her proclivity for claiming me as hers.   
  
And I am hers. I've always been.  
  
I whimper and grasp at her back as her fingers push deeper, her movements increasing in both speed and intensity as she kisses me, slipping her tongue against mine in the most wonderful way to mirror the feelings reverberating throughout my body.   
  
She shifts slightly, and the change in angle tears a groan from my throat, my body arching to her and my legs wrapping around her in a desperate and unconscious attempt to pull her closer. I'm on fire, burning under her touch, and I can feel myself clinging to the edge precariously, about to topple over.  
  
"Open your eyes, Calliope."  
  
Her voice is low and husky, her tongue trailing a wet, heated path along my throat and up to my ear, her teeth nipping and pulling at the lobe with what almost sounds like a growl.  
  
And I open my eyes, grasping my hand in her hair as vibrant blue meets my gaze, as her fingers push and pull inside of me with an insistent need, her thumb grazing ever so lightly over the spot I've been craving her touch.  
  
"I love you, Calliope."  
  
And the sound of her voice, hot with arousal and deep with emotion, sends me tumbling over the edge, her name tearing from my throat with an unbridled groan as wave after wave of pleasure rocks my body and my very soul.   
  
She is everywhere -- her fingers reaching inside me, her hand caressing my skin, her lips warm and tender along the line of my jaw. Her voice is in my head, and the scent of her perfume and her skin and her arousal mingle to envelope me in a haze of nothing but pure Arizona.  
  
She is everywhere.   
  
And she is everything.  
  
And I don't want to spend a minute of my life without her again.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a lot happens in this chapter, and I didn't necessarily intend it to, but once it started flowing it just kind of...kept going. So, that said, I hope it all works and I hope you all like it. Thanks for reading!

_**Callie** _

 

It’s been eight weeks since Arizona moved home, which makes it just over four months since we decided to start dating again. It seems like it’s gone by so much more quickly than the six months we spent apart – probably, I muse, because I’ve actually been happy. We’ve been happy. I feel like the time apart was a good thing for us, but I kind of wish we had just listened to the therapist and Arizona's idea in the first place and done it a little less painfully.  
  
I hear the shower come on in our en suite, and I roll over to glance at the clock. Far earlier than I’d like to be awake on a Saturday I don’t have to work, but Arizona needs to go in today, so I’d reluctantly had to let her get up. I’d been so comfortable too, completely tangled around the blonde and using her shoulder as a pillow. I sigh, pushing the sheets back – work ruins everything.  
  
I haven’t heard a peep from Sofia yet though, so I climb out of bed and pad toward the bathroom, stripping off my tank top and underwear as I go. If I’m going to be awake, may as well slip in some quality time with my wif -- I shake my head a little, like every time I remember that Arizona isn’t my wife anymore. I miss calling her that. She’s my daughter’s mother, she's the woman I love, she  _feels_  like my wife again. And we were never legally married so technically we're not actually divorced...but our domestic partnership  _was_  legally terminated and now we're in this weird in-between sort of place and it's all complicated and—  
  
“Are you just going to stand and watch me, or...? I mean not that I really  _mind_...”  
  
I look up, blinking a little, as I hear the blonde’s voice through the patter of the water. She smiles at me through the steamy glass, quirking her eyebrow a bit in an oh-so sexy way.  
  
Laughing, I rub my eyes, stepping further into the bathroom and sliding open the door to the shower in the corner.  
  
“I got distracted I guess. Mind some company in there?”  
  
Her eyes drift down over my body a little and she moves back to make room.  
  
“Certainly not company that looks like you.”  
  
I step in and close the glass door behind me, my hands immediately coming up to smooth over pale, wet skin as I step under the spray with her. Leaning in, I press a slow kiss to her lips, closing my eyes happily as the warmth of the water hits my back.  
  
“Mm,” she kisses me back, one hand sliding down between my breasts, and mumbles, “you better not make me late. Showering only.”  
  
Lowering my head a little, I trail kisses along the silky skin of her neck, and I hear her sigh as she tilts her head a bit.  
  
“Purely trying to conserve water.”  
  
“Uh huh.”  
  
She bats at my hand a little as it slides lower down her belly.  
  
“Didn’t I wear you out last night?”  
  
Smirking at the memory – and feeling only a little guilty at the lack of sleep the other woman got – I nibble at her earlobe, pushing back wet, golden hair.  
  
“Honey, when it comes to you, I am  _insatiable_.”  
  
Arizona just grins, tilting my head up before capturing my lips in a deep, heated kiss as the steam rises around us. I can smell the rich, coconut scent of her conditioner, and I can’t help the groan that escapes my throat as she slowly backs me against the cool tiles, her free hand now roaming lower over my own body; tantalisingly lower across wet, slick skin.  
  
“Arizona...” I manage to get a breath out as she nips at my bottom lip, releasing my mouth to leave a warm trail of kisses up to my ear.  
  
“Good thing you’re so irresistible.”  
  
Her voice is a low murmur in my ear over the sound of falling water, and her fingers have just brushed between the tops of my thighs when –  
  
“Mommy! Mama!”  
  
I groan loudly, letting my head drop to the blonde’s shoulder as a small fist knocks on the bathroom door.  
  
“Mommyyyyy.”  
  
Arizona laughs softly and steps back, removing her hand from between my legs and wickedly licking her fingers right in front of me before calling out.  
  
“Just a minute, baby!”  
  
“No, no, no...that is not fair,” I whine, pulling her in to steal another searing kiss before she gets too far away.  
  
She kisses me deeply, but with a teasing sweep of her tongue she pulls back again, stepping towards the door.  
  
“Always feed the tiny human first, Calliope.”  
  
I just watch disappointedly as she steps out of the shower and grabs a towel to dry off, wrapping it around her body to hide all that delicious bare skin. She shoots me a quick grin over her shoulder before opening the door to the small girl still impatiently calling to us.  
  
“Good thing we got that fancy shower head.”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
I feel a little guilty about leaving Calliope hanging like that, but I have to admit, it’s kind of amusing at the same time. It would be more amusing if I wasn’t insanely turned on myself, but we’ve definitely dealt with worse since having a child in our lives.  
  
Like the time a two-year-old Sofia learned to escape her crib and climbed into our bed during what was decidedly  _not_  a PG moment. We’d sure learned to close our door after that one. And had a talk about knocking.  
  
“Mamaaaa I’m so hungyyyyyy.”  
  
Sofia climbs up onto our bed and burrows her face in the pillows dramatically before rolling to face me.  
  
“I want foooood.”  
  
“We’ll go make food, baby. Just let me get dressed.”  
  
I pull the towel off, quickly giving myself another dry before pulling on some pajama shorts and a tank top. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I ease my leg off and dry the skin around my stump, making sure to give the inside of the socket a quick wipe too. The final prosthesis I’d settled on is the most advanced there is, which makes it waterproof and pretty indestructible, but I still like to be careful.  
  
“Mama.”  
  
A small, tan hand lands on my thigh and I look down to see Sofia give me a huge sigh.  
  
“Put your leg back now so you can make bwekfast.”  
  
I slip the prosthetic back on securely and stand up, scooping the girl into a hug and peppering her face with kisses.  
  
“You are awfully demanding this morning, little miss!”  
  
Her delighted squeals ring out as she wriggles down from my arms and runs off toward the kitchen, leaving me to follow behind.  
  
“I’m a hungy monstaaaaaar!”

 

  
*

 

  
Fifteen minutes later I set a plate of waffles and a cup of juice down in front of my daughter as she squirms in her seat, cutting the food into bite sized pieces for her before she grabs the whole thing at once.  
  
“Do you remember what’s happening this afternoon, Sof?”  
  
She stabs a waffle bite with her fork and beams up at me happily.  
  
“Yah! Gramma and Gwanpa coming!”  
  
“That’s right! And whyyyy are they coming to visit?” I tease the child a little, smoothing her unruly hair down, “I can’t seem to remember...”  
  
She looks up mid-chew with her brown eyes wide as saucers.  
  
“Cause it’s my BIRTDAY!”  
  
I grin as Callie walks into the kitchen, dressed in her pajamas again too with her hair hanging damp around her shoulders. She gives me a slight eyebrow and a pout as I slip around her to the island, letting my hand trail along her hip a little.  
  
“Mommy! It’s my birtday tomorrow!”  
  
The brunette gives the child a big grin then, settling down at the table as I bring over our plates, but I see the slight trace of emotion that clouds her eyes at the memory of our daughter’s birth – a day that should have happened so differently, even if it all turned out perfectly in the end.  
  
“I know! I was there when you were born!”  
  
Sofia just giggles and continues devouring her waffles, easily distracted by food like always. I squeeze Callie’s thigh gently under the table, taking a sip of my coffee as things quieten down.  
  
“I’m sorry I’m leaving you with the last minute running around today – hopefully nothing comes up so I’ll be home before supper though.”  
  
She takes a bite of her waffles too and looks over.  
  
“Really, don’t worry. Everything is mostly ready for the party anyway. And besides, your mom will definitely give me a hand once she’s here. I’m sure The Colonel will be more than willing to hang out with the birthday girl while we go out.”  
  
“Yes puhlease. The. Colo-nel.”  
  
Sofia nods seriously, picking up her cup, and I can’t help but laugh a little.  
  
“Sofia, you don’t have to call your grandpa that.”  
  
“I know,” she takes a drink and then carefully sets the cup down on the table again, “but Ima good man in the storms.”  
  
Callie holds back a smile, just raising her eyebrow in my direction. I just shake my head, not even a little surprised that my father has somehow already started teaching her his values. A small smile tugs at my lips too though as I watch our daughter dig back into her breakfast, a surge of pride swelling in my chest.  
  
“If there was ever a doubt she's part Robbins...”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I get Sofia to help me clean up the kitchen while Arizona runs off to get dressed, smiling as we chat about her party tomorrow, and watching as she brings dishes over one by one to me. I can’t believe how grown-up she's gotten in the last year. It's hard to imagine our little baby is going to be four tomorrow.   
  
I'm just shutting the dishwasher when Arizona's phone chimes, and I see the little girl grab it, almost tossing it off the table in the process.  
  
"Hey, whoa, Sof. Careful with mama's phone please."  
  
I come over and grab it from her, and the message on the lock screen catches my attention.  
  
 _Hey it's Lauren again. Still wondering about next week...let me know if we can get together._  
  
The phone number isn't from a contact in her address book, because no name displays with it. I frown a little...who's Lauren? The only Lauren I can immediately think of is...but no, surely it can't be her.   
  
"Hey, have you seen my..." Arizona hurries into the kitchen, strapping her watch on, and spies the phone in my hand, "oh! There is it. Thanks."  
  
She grabs it, leaning up to drop a quick kiss on my lips before she looks at the screen.  
  
And then her face changes completely.  
  
"So who's Lauren?"   
  
The question falls unbidden from my lips, harsher than I intended, and I glance over to meet her eyes. Her gaze has clouded over, something akin to anger, and almost fear, instantly changing her mood.  
  
"Calliope..."  
  
I swallow a little, my thoughts immediately flying to all the worst possible scenarios. It can't be. She's the woman who broke what was left of our marriage, there's no way Arizona is talking to her...is there? But the look on her face and the sound of her voice is so apologetic it almost makes my heart stop.  
  
"No..." I shake my head a little, turning back to the counter, "don't even say it, Arizona. Don't. If you’re..."  
  
She steps around me and holds the phone up.  
  
"If I’m what? Texting Lauren Boswell? I’m not, Callie. But yeah, she’s texting me. And I wasn't going to say anything but you've obviously seen this and I know what you're assuming right now."  
  
"Are you  _kidding_  me?" I cut her off, my jaw clenching a little, and I'm suddenly glad Sofia has run off to play, "Are you freaking kidding me, Arizona? You...you  _talk_  to that woman?"  
  
I don't even let her answer before I shake my head, tossing the dish towel onto the counter angrily.  
  
"And what, you're meeting up with her? You're going to hang out or something? Is that all you're going to do? Because I thought I could trust you again but apparently the last four months have meant nothi--"  
  
"Calliope Iphigenia Torres, shut  _up._ "  
  
The suddenly stern tone of the blonde's voice startles me out of my fury, and I turn back to look at her. Her eyes are lit with a touch of anger as well, but she remains calm as she steps closer to stand less than a foot in front of me.  
  
"Yes. Lauren Boswell has texted me -- this is the third time, now."  
  
Before I can interrupt again she holds the phone out between us, deliberately showing me as she swipes her finger across the message and deletes it.  
  
"And I have deleted them without responding. And I deleted her from my contacts a year ago. And you know those three days I booked us off next week? I booked them off because she is coming in to work with Alex and I do  _not_  want to be anywhere near her. And more importantly, I didn't think  _you'd_  want to be anywhere near her so that's why I decided we needed a getaway."  
  
I stare at her, feeling my anger subside just a little as she speaks.  
  
"You should have said something! I could have--"  
  
"Could have what, Callie? It just would have made you angry and I didn't want you to get any ideas! I figured ignoring the woman would send a clear enough message to her, but apparently she really is a dumb blonde."  
  
Biting my lip a little, I feel my shoulders deflate. I can admit I jumped the gun -- I'd always been a little irrationally jealous and insecure when it came to Arizona, but after the last year it is clearly even worse. I need to work on that.  
  
"I believe you," I let out a sigh, reaching for her hand, "I overreacted a little, I guess. I just...I panicked..."  
  
She takes my hand and tangles our fingers together tightly.  
  
"I know. I panicked too, when Alex warned me she'd be here for a few days. And I should have told you the first time she contacted me, but I was afraid you'd react just like this. I was afraid you'd assume the worst of me and..."  
  
"You really booked those days off to avoid her?"  
  
The blonde glances up, nodding her head a little.  
  
"Yeah...I know it's maybe a little cowardly, but I don't even want to see the woman. I know now that it's _not_  solely her fault everything blew up between us, but still. She was the catalyst and just her name reminds me of that horrible time and makes me feel so ashamed of myself, I just...I just wanted to be with you and not think about it. To be somewhere far away curled up alone with you."  
  
Her voice is so sincere, and the way she's looking at me is enough to wash away any of the fears I had just a minute ago. I realize...I do trust her again.  
  
And so I wrap my arms around her, pulling the smaller women into a tight embrace.  
  
"I trust you, Arizona."  
  
She hugs me back, laying her chin on my shoulder for a minute.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't just tell you."  
  
Pulling back, I cup her cheek, giving her a small smile.  
  
"You told me now. And I can’t wait for our little trip, by the way."  
  
I kiss her lightly, tucking a bit of stray hair behind her ear.  
  
"Now go on, you're going to be late now because I’m a crazy girlfriend. And I've got party planning to finish."  
  
Letting out a soft sigh, she rests her forehead on mine for a brief second before pulling away, giving me a smile.  
  
"I love you, Calliope Torres. Crazy or not."  
  
"Even though you left me hanging and," I lower my voice to a whisper, "horny in the shower."  
  
A radiant grin breaks out on the blonde's face, and she leans in close one more time, lowering her voice to the sexy timbre that drives me absolutely insane.  
  
"I'll make it up to you tonight."

 

  
*

 

  
The house is mostly tidy by the time The Colonel and Barbara arrive a few hours later – or at least as good as it’s going to get, I figure. Arizona’s parents had moved from San Diego up to northern California shortly after we bought the house, wanting to be closer to us, and so they made the nine hour drive fairly regularly now and were no strangers to the damage hurricane Sofia could leave behind. I love Arizona’s parents – her mom had really taken me under her wing when my own abandoned me, and even throughout our separation she had kept in touch with not only her granddaughter, but me personally. With seemingly no hard feelings towards me. Her dad had been a little more frightening at the time...but both women have assured me continually over the last month that he’s warmed up to me again.  
  
I let Sofia yank the door open, and she immediately launches herself into her grandmother’s arms with a delighted shriek.  
  
“GWAMMA! Hiii! It’s my birtday tomorrow! We gettin’ cake!”  
  
Barbara laughs, abandoning her suitcase to her husband and scooping the small girl into her arms as she steps inside.  
  
“So I hear! You are getting to be such a big girl, Sofia!”  
  
She kisses her head and sets her down, smiling and greeting me with a warm hug as well.  
  
“It’s so good to see you, Barb, Daniel...” I glance at the older man who now has Sofia in his arms, somewhat hesitantly moving in for a hug.  
  
He nods a little, in his stoic marine way, and pulls me in for a hug with his free arm. I can’t help but breathe a small, internal sigh of relief. He doesn't hate me.  
  
“Good to see you, Callie. Glad to be here.”  
  
He shifts his granddaughter in his arms and grins down at her.  
  
“Wouldn’t miss my little Sofia’s birthday for anything, now would I?”  
  
Beaming up at him, Sofia raises her hand to her forehead in salute.  
  
“Nevar, sir!”  
  
I usher them inside, helping with their bags and getting them settled into the guest room at the end of the hall. They’re staying for a whole week – which is why Arizona and I are able to go away for a few days next week– but I still insisted that they stay at the house with us. Arizona was a little apprehensive about it, worried that her father was still none too pleased with her and the reasons for our divorce, but I convinced her that Sofia would love it and it really wouldn’t be that bad. The house is big enough for the five of us.  
  
Daniel happily accepts his babysitting duty after we have some lunch, and Barbara and I head out to do the last minute shopping for the birthday party tomorrow. We’re only having a small affair – Meredith’s kids are coming over while she works, and three of Sofia’s friends from preschool. Amelia and April have promised to be there too, and I know Alex will probably show up even though he scoffed at the idea of attending a little kid’s birthday party. It just feels nice to be celebrating. And the fact that our family is back together for her birthday is something I never dreamed would have happened.  
  
“So how are things between you and Arizona?”  
  
Barbara places a few packages of pink streamers in her shopping basket and glances my way as we head down the aisle at the party store.  
  
“Things are...good. The last few weeks have been really good, actually.”  
  
I briefly think back to this morning and our argument, but I know I’m still giving the older woman an honest answer. Things  _are_  good between us. We’re communicating, we’re both listening for once. We’ve reconnected physically in every sense of the word. It’s been great.  
  
“I think we’re going to be okay, Barb,” I smile a little, meeting her eyes, “I really feel like we’ve got it right this time. I know I’m back in for the long haul.”  
  
She smiles, humming a bit in agreement as she grabs some balloons.  
  
“Arizona has said the same thing. She’s seemed really happy over the last while.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
I know the blonde and her mother are close – much closer than I ever was with mine. They talk often, and send at least short emails almost every other day, so I always assumed that the older Robbins knew the entire story of what went on between us.  
  
“You make her happy, Callie. You and Sofia and that new fellowship thing she did...you know, I honestly don’t remember the last time I saw my daughter so happy with her life.”  
  
Hearing that from her mother really means something, so I can’t help the small grin that tugs at my lips as we continue around the last aisle, adding a few more Frozen-themed decorations and pink plates and cups to the basket. We head up front and pay for everything, and I grab the bag and head out with her, nodding my head to the store across the parking lot.  
  
“We just need some snack food and stuff, and then we have to go pick up the cake.”  
  
Pointing to a Starbucks down at the end of the sidewalk, Barbara stops me with a hand to my elbow.  
  
“Why don’t we go and grab a cup of coffee before getting the food, dear? I’m sure Daniel and Sofia are busy running military drills around the yard by now, and it’d be nice to sit and catch up a bit.”  
  
Surprised, I look down at the shorter woman before smiling widely.  
  
“Yeah, that would be nice. We have plenty of time.”  
  
She links our arms at the elbow and we head down toward the café, the smell of freshly brewed coffee already wafting through the air and confirming that this is indeed a good idea. I’ve become more accustomed to Barbara’s friendly ways over the years, but it still always comes as such a pleasant surprise when she wants to talk with me, or get coffee or lunch just because. My own mother was so different...even when she was still speaking to me, we’d never have just gone to Starbucks for a drink unless there was a reason behind it, a serious conversation to be had about school or finances or behaviour. Unlike my father, who I can unabashedly admit had been wrapped around my finger since I was a little girl, she’d just never been a warm and fuzzy kind of parent.  
  
We grab our drinks and settle down at a small table outside, deciding to take advantage of the rare sunny spring day, even though it’s still a little cool.  
  
“A bit cooler than home, I imagine,” I laugh a little as a breeze wafts over us.  
  
She chuckles too, adjusting her scarf over her jacket and picking up her coffee.  
  
“Oh, I love this weather though. I grew up on the east coast you know, in Maine. I tried to convince Daniel to move all the way up to Seattle to be near you girls, but he wouldn’t budge north of the California border.”  
  
Arizona’s father was definitely a California boy born and raised – that much I knew from the past. Arizona always said he’d been downright miserable every time they were posted somewhere with cool weather, or god forbid, actual snow in the winter.  
  
“Well, we’re still glad you got closer, anyway. It’s nice that you’re able to come visit easily.”  
  
We sip our coffee in a comfortable silence for a bit, just observing people moving about around the shopping complex, and chatting occasionally about work and Sofia. But then the woman voices a question that takes me completely by surprise.  
  
“So are you planning on getting married again?”  
  
I blink briefly, looking back in her direction. I have no idea how to answer that question.  
  
“Uh...,” I half shrug, fiddling with the sleeve on my coffee cup, “I don’t really know, we haven’t talked about it. And it’s still too soon. I don’t know if Arizona would really want that again anyway...”  
  
Barbara just raises her eyebrow slightly, her features forming into an exasperated look that clearly runs in the family.  
  
“Of course Arizona would want that again.”  
  
I twist the coffee sleeve again a few times, contemplating her words. We hadn’t talked about it once – not even vaguely. I know Arizona had been happy to be married last time, but with the way I hurt her, I honestly  _don’t_  know if she’d want to enter into that again, even if we stayed together permanently.  
  
“Has she said she does?”  
  
I can’t help my curiosity though, and I chew my lip a little as the words leave my mouth. The other woman shakes her head a little and sighs, just wrapping her hands around the warm cup in front of her.  
  
“Callie, let me tell you something. And don’t tell her I said this but...since she was sixteen years old, my daughter has only called me crying three times in her life.”  
  
A little taken aback at her response, and the more serious tone of her voice, I wait quietly, watching the older blue eyes in front of me.  
  
“Once was shortly after we lost Timothy, once was the night after she almost lost you and Sofia in that car crash, and the last time was after you told her that your marriage was over. She didn’t even call me after her first serious girlfriend left her, or after the amputation...” she trails off a bit, her voice softening, “my daughter can be a stubbornly strong woman sometimes, and she can compartmentalize her emotions to the point of fault – but I will never forget those phone calls, Callie, I can’t ever forget the grief and the absolute brokenness in her voice. I've honestly never known her to feel so strongly about someone as she does about you. There is no way she doesn’t want to be your wife again.”  
  
I blink rapidly now, casting my eyes down as I try to keep them from watering. I knew Arizona didn’t like to show her emotions – she doesn’t like to appear weak, to appear as anything other than the happy, bubbly person people know her as. It took a long time for her to even show her true emotions to me. But hearing that I was the reason behind her breaking down, behind her being at her lowest...second only to her brother and best friend’s death...it makes my heart ache.  
  
“And you know...” she continues cautiously, her hand coming to rest over mine in a show of comfort, “I’m not saying it should be right now, but you two have been through so much together, I just want to see the both of you settled and happy.”  
  
“I want to be married again too,” I admit quietly, giving her a small smile as I look up, “I want to be married to her. I honestly don’t know when the timing will be right, but....I hope someday it will be.”  
  
Arizona’s mother just smiles a little, in a way that is so very like her daughter, and she pulls back to pick up her coffee again.  
  
“It will be, Callie. The right moment will come. And I will be very glad to officially have my second daughter back.”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
I make it home right on schedule after a fairly easy day at the hospital, and I enter the house to the sound of voices and laughter, and the smell of something incredibly delicious coming from the kitchen that I'm pretty sure is my favourite enchilada dish. I join my family and greet my parents, happy to see that everyone is settled in, and although I attempt to give Calliope a hand with the cooking, she very pointedly ushers me away from the stove without letting me touch a thing.  
  
Later on in the evening we settle out on the back deck with some drinks, letting Sofia run off some of her leftover energy before bedtime. I laugh as she grabs my dad’s hand and drags him down to the grass, and then yells for Callie and persuades the brunette to come down as well and toss a giant beach ball around with her. We’re all entirely wrapped around the little girl’s finger, and I can admit it. Even serious old dad.  
  
“She’s grown so much even since last time we saw her.”  
  
I glance over and smile a little at the adoring look on my mother's face, as she watches the ball bounce back and forth across the backyard.  
  
“I know. She’s growing like crazy – and getting smarter every day, too.”  
  
“She reminds me so much of you at that age,” the older woman chuckles a little, picking up her drink, “especially with the chattering. You always had an excellent vocabulary for your age too, and boy you sure liked to use it.”  
  
I laugh a little, shaking my head.  
  
“She’s definitely come into her own the last few months with the talking.”  
  
Watching them for a few minutes, I bite my lip a little, glancing over toward my mom again.  
  
“I was worried about her for awhile...with everything that happened, I feel like I haven’t always been a great mom to her. When I was recovering...and then the divorce...”  
  
She looks at me, studying me for a second before she speaks softly.  
  
“You’re a wonderful mother, sweetie. You’ve done the very best you can. None of us are perfect, you know.”  
  
“I know,” I sigh slightly, setting my glass down, “I just  _want_  her life to be perfect, you know? She deserves the world.”  
  
Smiling warmly, mom reaches out her hand, and I let mine settle into it comfortably.  
  
“She has two parents who love her more than anything. None of the rest of it matters in the end, trust me.”  
  
We sit in silence for a bit, just watching the game going on in the yard, and my mind drifts again to the thought of having more kids with Callie. Sofia is just...so perfect. She’s so beautiful, and smart, and funny. She brings such joy to my life, and while she will always, always be more than enough on her own...I can’t help the tug in the pit of my stomach when I think about her playing with a younger sibling.  
  
“I want more kids, mom.”  
  
I let the admission out quietly, giving her a small smile.  
  
“Kid, at least. I want another. And it’s crazy, right? Because I never wanted  _any_ , but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”  
  
"It's not crazy, honey. Sometimes you don't know what you want until you have it. Until one day you just _know._ "  
  
She grins then, squeezing my hand a little.  
  
"And I would certainly be thrilled to have another gorgeous little grandchild to spoil."  
  
Pulling my hand back, I run it through my hair with a small sigh.  
  
"I had a miscarriage last year."  
  
I can sense the change in her mood immediately, and I glance up as she leans in closer to my chair, grabbing my hand again.  
  
"Oh, honey...why didn't you ever say something? I'm so sorry. I had no idea you two were even trying."  
  
"We didn't want to say anything until we were sure. And I was just about far enough along....we were almost ready to tell you guys, but then."  
  
I just shrug a little, casting my eyes back to the yard because I don't want to see the sympathy in my mother's eyes.  
  
"Callie can't have another baby, not after the surgeries she had from the car accident. And I want to try again, I want to do it...but I'm scared. What if I lose another one? What if my body just...fails me again? Fails us."  
  
I feel the older woman squeeze my hand, and I look down at where they're joined.  
  
"It nearly broke me last time, mom," the confession comes out in a whisper, and I finally look at her again, "And I didn't want to try again before...but now I want it so badly, but I'm still scared."  
  
"You need to talk to Callie, sweetie. You need to tell her how you feel about all this and see what she wants."  
  
"It's way too soon though. We're just good again, getting back to being us -- I don't want to move too fast."  
  
"It probably is, but nonetheless you two need to talk about. Either now, or when you think you feel ready."  
  
I nod a little, giving Callie a bright smile when she looks my way and starts to head back toward the deck, my dad and Sofia in tow.  
  
"I know."  
  
"What are you two talking about up here?" she grins, leaning down and dropping a light kiss on my lips, "just lounging around while I get pummeled with a beach ball."  
  
Laughing, I raise my glass and finish the last mouthful of wine in the bottom.  
  
"You're so good at it, though, dear."  
  
My dad comes up the stairs with a tired looking Sofia in his arms, and I get up to peek at her face, brushing my lips against her small brow.  
  
"How about grandpa reads you a bedtime story now? It's getting late, little miss."  
  
The little girl lets out a big yawn and nods, and I know that she'll barely make it to page two of her current favourite before she's out like a light.   
  
"Gamma too," she reaches for my mom with a heart-melting look, and the other woman happily gets up and follows them inside, her arm curling around my dad's waist as they head down the hall, chatting softly to the child.  
  
"You think we'll be grandparents someday?"  
  
Callie's voice catches my attention, and surprised, I turn to meet her gaze.  
  
"Yeah," I smile, stepping closer and wrapping my arms around her neck, "I hope so."  
  
I lean in, kissing her softly, and she smiles against my lips before returning the affection. Her arm slips around my waist as I pull back and we head into the house together, locking up the back door behind us and switching off the outdoor lights.  
  
"Can you believe we had a baby four years ago?" I ask, the fact still a little unbelievable in my mind as I see the bag from the party store waiting on the side counter.  
  
"It's kind of crazy. It also means we've known each other for almost six. We met at the end of June, remember? That's next month."  
  
"Six wonderful years. And yes --" I look up before she can say anything, "even with all the ups and downs. And the...really downs. Wonderful years, Calliope."  
  
Callie just meets my eyes, a smile grazing her lips as she leans in to kiss my ear.  
  
"Six  _amazing_  years."  
  
The feeling that washes over me is unmistakable, my love for the woman beside me almost overwhelmingly flooding my system. I marvel sometimes at the fact that we've made it back to this place, that we've picked ourselves up yet again and have been drawn back together by some unstoppable force.  
  
And that's just what it is, I think. This thing that we have, that we've always had. It's an unstoppable force.  
  
And there's no more pulling us apart.

 


	15. Chapter 15

_**Callie** _

 

"Arizona, we don't have to do this."  
  
Callie's strong hand squeezes my thigh, attempting to calm the nervous jiggling that seems to have come out of nowhere, and I glance over quickly before diverting my eyes back front and centre.  
  
"Honestly, honey. Just say the word and we will walk out of this airport and go home for the car. You know I don't mind driving."  
  
My eyes focus on the wall-to-wall windows across from our gate, and I watch a plane slowly pull out to head toward the runway. It seems innocuous enough.  
  
"Callie, it would be almost a twenty hour drive to Pismo Beach."  
  
"I don't care. I like a road trip."  
  
"Callie."  
  
I turn my head finally to look at the brunette, and all I can see is concern etched into her beautiful brown eyes.  
  
"We can’t drive everywhere for the rest of our lives. Sooner or later I was going to have to do this. I still want to travel; I want us to take vacations. Someday Sofia is going to want to see where you grew up in Miami. I mean really, it's surprising I haven't had to fly out for a patient or an organ retrieval or something in the last two years already. I  _will_  have to. Especially now that I'm a maternal-fetal surgeon; sometimes those patients aren't going to be able to travel to Seattle."  
  
I let out a small breath, aware that I've started rambling a bit, and I manage to muster up a smile.  
  
"And I really, really want to go spend a full four days with you in this beautiful beach town and not spend two of them driving back and forth. I’ll be fine."  
  
Callie studies me for a minute, the worry still very much evident in her eyes.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
Letting out a soft, nervous laugh, my facade slipping a bit, I shake my head.  
  
"I am terrified right now. But I will be okay."  
  
Leaning in closer, Callie kisses my cheek softly and slides her hand into mine, tangling our fingers firmly.  
  
"You will be. And I'll be here."  
  
I look down at our joined hands and rub my thumb slowly over the tanned one under it, my reply coming softly.  
  
"I'm glad you are."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
For someone with such small hands, Arizona has an impressively strong grip. And she is gripping my hand so tightly right now that she may actually be compromising blood flow.  
  
But I don’t even feel it because I’m holding hers back just as tightly, trying to keep her grounded in whatever way I can as our flight takes off.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want to take a lorazepam?” I murmur, bringing my other hand over to rub her arm soothingly, “I just wanted to make this easier for you.”  
  
She shakes her head just a little, her gaze locked forward as the flight attendant goes through the standard safety procedures at the front of the aisle.  
  
“I’m fine. Thanks, though.”  
  
I let out a little breath and remain silent, kicking myself internally for not thinking about all of this until yesterday. I mean, Arizona had been the one to choose the location and book our trip – book the flight – so it wasn’t coming as a surprise to her, but it hadn’t even occurred to me until last night that this would be the first time she flew anywhere since the crash. We should have talked about this sooner. We could have talked through it; maybe I could have helped her get out some of her anxiety. I’d stopped at the hospital pharmacy before coming home to get the anxiety meds for her just in case, but she remains silent and stoic, the only outward sign of her nervousness being the death grip she has on my hand as we climb higher and soon level out above the clouds.  
  
The seatbelt light dings off after a few minutes and I shift a bit in my seat, moving to unbuckle so I can sit more comfortably while still holding the blonde’s hand. But suddenly her hand is out of mine and she reaches down and grasps the belt, glancing sideways at me.  
  
“Leave it on. Please.”  
  
I look up, nodding almost imperceptibly as I see the fear flash across her normally bright eyes. Buckling up again and tightening the strap, I smile and thread our fingers together again.  
  
“So tell me more about this Pismo Beach place.”

 

  
*

 

  
Two hours and a short car ride later we’re dropped off in front of a small, four-storey apartment building that backs out onto the beach. The building is one of only a few right along the beachfront, and the beach itself is magnificent – pristine looking sand, beautiful green hills rising in the distance, and a giant pier extending out over the ocean.  
  
“This place is amazing,” I shield my eyes and look out over the water, “I can’t believe we’ve never been here before.”  
  
I feel Arizona’s arms wrap around my waist, and she leans in to drop a kiss on my cheek. When I look down at her, I smile when I see all traces of nervousness gone from her eyes.  
  
“I honestly just hadn’t thought about this place in years. I mean, I was seventeen the summer Tim and I spent here...and I’ve never been back since.”  
  
“You haven’t?”  
  
She’d told me the story during our flight, after I managed to distract her and get her talking, about how she’d spent the summer before going off to university here in Pismo with her brother. He’d just finished his second year of college and was getting ready to enlist in the fall, and they’d managed to convince their parents to let them rent an apartment out here before they both went very separate ways.  
  
She shakes her head a little, looking out again at the waves gently crashing against the pier.  
  
“Tim and I always wanted to come back for a summer, but then it always ended up that he was overseas, or I had summer classes I couldn’t miss. And then after he...I just never ended up coming back. But it’s so close to home now, and it’s such a beautiful place. I thought it would be perfect.”  
  
I smile, leaning down to capture her lips, and I draw out the kiss for a few long moments.  
  
“It is perfect. You have no idea how great a plan this was.”  
  
She kisses me lightly again, pulling back with a grin on her face.  
  
“Come on,” she picks up her bag and grabs my hand, “let’s go inside. Maybe you can show me just how great it is.”

 

  
*

 

  
And the minute we’re inside our top-floor apartment that is exactly what I do. The loose fitting white v-neck that she’s wearing has been taunting me from the minute we left the house, not to mention the exquisitely fitted jeans that hug every curve in just the right way. She left her hair loose around her shoulders today, and now seeing her here in this setting, I get a glimpse of what a seventeen year old, beach-loving Arizona must have looked like.  
  
I claim her lips, my hands coming up to tangle in her hair as I back her against the first wall we encounter, and a small groan escapes me as I feel her tongue meet mine, drawing me in.  
  
“I bet you spent that whole summer bumming around in a bikini, didn’t you?” I lick my lips quickly before descending on her neck, leaving a trail of warm kisses along the delicate skin there.  
  
“Mm,” she shivers a little, tilting her head back for me, “mostly. Some short cut-offs too. The occasional sun dress. I worked at the ice cream shack beside the pier.”  
  
I swirl my tongue against the rapidly fluttering pulse in her neck before I move back up, kissing along the perfect curve of her jaw as she gives me better access. Thoughts of a scantily clad, tanned Arizona serving me ice cream make my brain scream with want, and I can't stop myself from nipping at her skin and leaving behind a bit of a mark.  
  
“I wish I had met you that summer.”  
  
A hand slides along my neck and cups the back of my head, and a low moan sounds in the blonde’s throat as I continue to lavish her skin with kisses and gentle but possessive bites.  
  
“You didn’t know you liked women then.”  
  
Cupping her head almost fiercely, I lean up and again cover her mouth with my own, deepening the kiss immediately until it’s like something born of fire, until the unrestricted passion that constantly flows between us explodes likes fireworks behind my eyes.  
  
I grasp her hand, breaking away slightly breathless, and pull her in the direction of the bedroom.  
  
“I might have figured things out a  _lot_  sooner.”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
Callie wastes no time in getting our clothes off once we hit the bedroom, and I can’t help but grin at her hungry, lust-filled look when she finds me standing in nothing but her favourite lacy red underwear.  
  
“Oh, I missed these...” she almost moans the words as she trails her finger along the lacy fabric at my thigh, “you’ve been holding out on me, Robbins.”  
  
I step closer, winding my arms around her neck and making sure our bodies press together at every single curve, shuddering lightly at the delicious feel of warm skin on skin -- and delighting in the fact that she does the same.  
  
“I thought this might qualify as a special occasion,” I murmur in her ear, sliding my hand into her silky, dark hair before I kiss her thoroughly.  
  
My back hits the bed a moment later, and Callie is climbing over me, kneeling above me as she smoothes her hands down my stomach and over red lace, running her finger lightly under the waistband before she caresses my thighs. Seeking silent permission, she meets my gaze before letting her hands move to my prosthetic, carefully easing it off before reaching to set it beside the bed. Her fingers trail along the newly exposed skin, sending another shiver up my spine, and she leans down to press a kiss low on my belly.  
  
“It is unfair how sexy you are.”  
  
The trail of kisses continues down my stomach and she traces her tongue along the edge of the only remaining barrier between us, making me groan with need as her waves of dark hair tickle against my thighs. Glancing up with a slight smirk at the sound, she ghosts her fingers between my legs, rubbing the damp fabric lightly before she hooks her fingers into the waist and starts drawing the underwear down off my hips.  
  
“Yeah, I can’t wait either.”  
  
I let my legs fall open for her and watch as she shifts to kneel between them, leaning down to drag her lips and her tongue along my inner thigh, steadily moving upward as my hips lift to meet her of their own accord. I both feel and hear her hum of approval, and the next thing I know a soft cry tears from my lips as her mouth moves against me, her tongue darting out to trace patterns that soon have me gasping in pleasure.  
  
"Calliope..."   
  
My hand slides down to her head, and I tangle my fingers in dark tresses, grasping desperately at her as she continues her tortuously slow exploration. She has always known exactly how to touch me, how to tease me to the point of madness, and today is no exception as her mouth finds my clit and she sets my every nerve ending on fire.  
  
I hear myself cry out again, and I tug at her hair, gasping her name and trying to regain some semblance of self-control before the sensations flood my mind completely.  
  
"Up here," I tug at her, my breath catching in my throat, "Callie, I want you here."  
  
The brunette lifts her head, licking her lips with a coy smile before she kisses her way up my abdomen, shifting her body over mine and pressing our hips and our breasts together, sweat-slicked skin radiating heat between us. My arms pull her close as her hair falls in a sweet smelling curtain around my face, and I can't help the soft, keen cry of pleasure from my throat as I feel her arousal on my thigh, a hot pulse of want echoing between my own legs.   
  
"Tell me what you want."  
  
She murmurs quietly, her breath warm against my ear, and I arch my hips to hers once more, trying for any kind of contact, trying to show her exactly what I want.  
  
"You. I want you. I'm yours, Callie."  
  
Her fingers flutter down, slipping between us and entering me with practiced ease, and I let out a second involuntary moan that brings a smile to her face before she kisses me deeply. She moves her hips against mine, seeking out contact of her own, and her strong fingers continue to thrust inside me, curling into just the right spot to make my entire body tremble with a barely contained release. The sweet, heavy scent of her has long filled my senses, and I let it wash over me now, saturating me with the warmth, the love, the pure sanctity of the woman whose body covers mine -- who offers me everything, who takes my very breath away.  
  
I force my eyes open, and between us Callie's necklace hangs; a reminder, a commitment, and a promise of the love we've truly never stopped sharing. I grasp at her shoulders as my gaze focuses on the simple pendant, my leg wrapping around her hips as she burrows herself deeper inside of me, my breath coming in ragged gasps now against her skin. A warmth blossoms throughout my body as she meets my eyes, and when she kisses me, my cry of pleasure is breathed into her and is matched by a low moan of her own, our bodies arching together and straining into the coming crash at the end of a long, heart-stopping drop.  
  
Callie collapses against me a minute later and I just cling to her -- we cling to each other -- speechless, breathless, and dazed with the sheer force of what we've just shared. She shifts to her side on the bed and draws me against her, her body warm with sweat as she folds herself around me, and I nuzzle into her neck with a sigh, simply relishing the feel of being safe in her arms.  
  
"I love you, Arizona."   
  
She touches my chin, tilting my head up to meet her eyes, and a smile tugs easily at my lips. I run my hand down along her collarbone and capture the warm, metal heart between my fingers, and like every time we've been together over the last two months, I feel my own heart swell with absolute adoration for the woman in front of me.  
  
"I love you too," I lean in and kiss her sweetly, the taste that is all Calliope invading my senses, "and I love this vacation so far."

 

  
*

 

  
We spend the entire of the first day in bed, limbs tangled and bodies wrapped around each other as we make love and nap like cats in the sun that shines through the windows. By the time we rise mid-morning the next day we're both blissfully relaxed, and although my muscles are definitely aching, not used to day -- and night -- long activity, I wouldn't trade the feeling for anything in the world.  
  
I stretch languidly before rolling to my side, meeting deep brown eyes that are watching me with interest.  
  
"How long have you been awake?"  
  
I reach over and caress her cheek, trailing my fingers lightly over warm skin before slipping my hand down around her waist.  
  
"Not long," she smiles, leaning in and kissing me lightly, "It's so peaceful here. You looked so content."  
  
"Mm," I linger over the kiss for a minute, then shift around so I can curl back against her, "I am content. Very,  _very_  content."  
  
She wraps a strong arm around me, dropping a kiss on my shoulder and nosing my hair aside.  
  
"Let's go find some breakfast...or," she pauses, realizing the time, "lunch, maybe. It looks gorgeous out. I want to explore with you."   
  
"That sounds perfect. There used to be a little diner just a few blocks from here...the Splash Café. Let's look up if they're still open."  
  
"Hm?"   
  
She nuzzles my shoulder, letting me go as I turn and sit up, reaching over her to grab her phone off the night table. Giving me a slightly questioning look, she just watches as I enter her passcode and start typing.  
  
"I left my phone at home."  
  
Callie shifts then, sitting up against the headboard beside me, and she brushes a stray curl back behind my ear.  
  
"On purpose?"  
  
Finding that the restaurant is still open and still where I remember it to be, I hold the phone back out to her with a nod.  
  
"Yeah. I told my parents to call you if they needed anything. I wanted to be unreachable for the next few days."  
  
Understanding and realization flash across her eyes and she smiles, sneaking her hand over to smooth underneath my breasts, fingers brushing lightly against the underside.  
  
"So you're all mine."  
  
Laughing softly, I grab her wrist and pull her hand back.  
  
"I'm yours as long as you'll have me, Callie. But if you keep doing that, we're never going to leave this room."  
  
An adorable pout grazes her lips before she shifts over to the edge of the bed, pushing herself up.  
  
"That would be okay with me."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
After stuffing ourselves with brunch at the café, we wander back down to the beach and Arizona slips her hand into mine as we stroll along the boardwalk. It’s not peak tourist season, and from what I gather it’s never a very busy little city, so the beach is fairly quiet and only a few craft merchants and artists are set up along the way. I watch some surfers riding the waves in, awed by the balance and the ease with which they seem to tame the water, and Arizona sidles up beside me, her shoulder brushing mine.  
  
"Surfing is fun."  
  
I blink, looking sideways at the smaller woman.  
  
"Wait, you surf?"  
  
"Well, I did," she grins a little, swinging our hands lightly between us, "I mean, we moved to San Diego when I was fifteen, and Tim took to it pretty much immediately. Obviously I had to one-up him, so I spent a few years down there and the summer here perfecting my ride."  
  
"How did I not know this about you? It's been six years! Oh, you need to show me your skills."  
  
Laughing, the blonde motions vaguely to her lower limbs, and I feel a quick pang of guilt before I realize her tone is not at all regretful.  
  
"It's been nearly two decades since I touched a surfboard, and it was hard enough with two legs. I think I'm taking that one off the table."  
  
I can't help the dramatic sigh that escapes me, but I smile and raise my eyebrows a bit.  
  
"You could literally not get any hotter right now."  
  
"Well," she grabs my hand again, pulling me back toward the boardwalk, "I won't argue that."  
  
We walk the full length of the boardwalk over the next few hours, meandering slowly and then making our way back on the sand, walking along the water's edge with the bubbling waves kissing our toes. When we climb back up to the walkway, we stop at a bench near the base of the pier, and Arizona leans into my side, grinning as she points toward a little hut up ahead.  
  
“Wave’s Delight Ice Cream. Looks just the same as it always did.”  
  
Laughing a little, I look over to the tiny, somewhat scrappy looking building where a short line of teenagers is gathered.  
  
“Wow, you really did work in a shack, surfer girl.”  
  
“Best ice cream you’ve ever had though.”  
  
I lean in, catching her by surprise as I drop a kiss on her lips.  
  
“Mm, maybe we should get some later then. Although it’d be  _so_  much better if you put on short shorts and a bikini top and scooped it for me.”  
  
At that she just grins again, swatting my leg playfully as she turns back to look at me.  
  
“You’re like a horny teenage boy.”  
  
"I am not!"  
  
I start to protest, but only halfheartedly because if I'm honest, she's kind of right.  
  
"You're picturing the bikini top right now, aren't you?"  
  
Well, she's got me there. Arching my eyebrow ever so slightly, I let my eyes drift down over her briefly.  
  
“Okay, but have you seen you? And besides, you realize this is literally the first time we’ve been away alone since Sofia was born,” I hold up my finger when she goes to interrupt, “that doesn’t include a work conference.  _And_  our relationship has been reborn so  _really_  this is like our first trip away together ever. And it’s a pretty romantic getaway. So I’m allowed to be all handsy.”  
  
I only notice now that the blonde’s hand has been slowly creeping up my thigh, and she lets it rest lightly along the inner curve as I stop defending myself, a flirty smile grazing her features.  
  
“Oh, I love when you’re  _handsy_. Don’t worry.”

 

  
*

 

  
Much flirting later we do get our ice cream, from a very lovely young man at the ice cream shack, and spend the next hour or so slowly wandering along the pier taking in the sights and enjoying the last of the day's sunshine. The massive wooden structure extends a half mile out over the ocean, and when we reach the end the view is absolutely breathtaking as we look back over the sandy shore and the rocky cliffs, rolling green hills extending far into the distance.   
  
"Come here."  
  
I walk over to where Arizona is looking down over the rails and tug her gently against me, smiling at her look of surprise as I wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull out my phone. We snap a few selfies, some of them inevitably silly, and I quickly send one off to Barbara before pocketing the device again and following the blonde over to the other side of the wide viewing area.  
  
"Isn't it beautiful out here?"  
  
Her back is to me when she speaks and I stop a bit behind her, the sudden breathtaking view of the smaller woman against the ocean scenery freezing me to the spot. It's almost like a painting -- like a perfectly framed work of art. Her hair has become even curlier with the salty ocean air, and it falls in soft waves around her shoulders as the wind catches it, lifting and releasing the golden strands in a gentle rhythm. She's leaning her hands on the rail and I can see the delicate, defined muscles of her shoulders and back, her pale skin already a bit sunkissed with the tank top she's wearing, despite copious amounts of sunscreen.   
  
She turns her head slightly to look back at me, and I follow the toned curves of her body up to meet her eyes. Her smile beckons me closer, and I find that I can't tear my gaze away as I walk up behind her and circle my arms around her waist.   
  
"It is."  
  
I nuzzle the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath against her skin before resting my chin lightly on her shoulder.  
  
"I don't know how I ever thought I could live without you, Arizona."  
  
She's silent for a few moments, only the sound of the waves and distant voices from the beach floating around us, and I tighten my hold almost unconsciously around her.  
  
"You can, Callie. You can live without me."  
  
She turns carefully in my arms, resting her back against the railing, and I let my hands settle protectively around her back.  
  
"But I never want to."  
  
Her eyes are bluer than the ocean in that moment and she smiles at me, reaching up to brush back a wave of my hair.  
  
"That's the difference. That means even more."  
  
Arizona leans in and captures my lips in a kiss, sighing softly into my mouth as I draw it out, deepening it for a few blissful moments before she wraps her arms around me and hugs me close, resting her head against my shoulder.  
  
She's right, I realize, as we simply stand and enjoy the majestic view and the feel of each others' warmth. I  _can_  live without her, but I don't want to. She's my home, and she's my heart, and she breathes life and love into my very soul.  
  
"I want to be your wife again."  
  
The words fall from my lips, barely more than a whisper over the wind that breezes over us, but she pulls back a fraction, just enough to look up at me again. The surprise is evident in her eyes, and a wave of emotion flickers over them as I trail my fingers along her jaw, cupping her cheek like she's the most precious thing in the world.  
  
I didn't think this moment would come so soon. I didn't know it would come at all -- and I'm both fearful that it's too soon, and completely confident that this is absolutely the right time.   
  
She leans into my touch and I smile, unable to stop the next words to leave my mouth.  
  
"Will you marry me, Arizona? Again?"  
  
Her eyes glisten slightly, and she blinks them once before her face breaks into a beautiful smile, a laugh bubbling happily from her lips.  
  
"Yes. Yes, Calliope, I'll marry you. I would marry you a million times over."  
  
I tighten my arm around her, pulling her in and capturing her lips in a breathtaking kiss, and as she returns the affection my chest fills with a feeling of complete and utter happiness. This is where I'm supposed to be. This is where  _we're_  supposed to be -- together. Kissing her once again, I cup her cheeks, leaning our foreheads together as the sun seems to brighten and warm around us.  
  
"Let's make this the last time, though."

 


	16. Chapter 16

**_Arizona_ **

  
It’s our last day of vacation, and although I wake up to what looks like a beautiful day outside, I can’t bear to disturb the still-sleeping brunette beside me. She’s asleep on her stomach, her head turned toward me and her arms framing her face under the pillow, waves of thick, dark hair pooling around her shoulders. She’s so beautiful. So exquisitely, miraculously beautiful.  
  
I can’t stop myself from reaching over and letting my hand smooth over the exposed skin of her back, and I trail my fingers up along her spine, over the impossibly soft skin I spent all of last night mapping with my lips. To know another human being as well as I know Callie is a remarkable thing – to have every curve of their body, every scar and freckle memorized. My fingers know where to find the small birthmark on her shoulder blade, and the faded, faint scar higher up from a childhood fall on the family boat. I know the feel of the round, raised scar along her ribs – the mark from the breathing tube that kept her alive for me – and where to find the small, abstract tattoo on the left side of her lower back, just above her hip. I know it's a rose for her grandmother, Rosa, who was always more of a mother to her than her own was.  
  
 _“You are...so incredibly sexy.”  
  
The brunette laughs, the faintest blush colouring her cheeks as she picks up a slice of pizza from the box open on the bed.  
  
“Yeah, look who’s talking. And that thing... god, that thing you did...”  
  
I just grin, licking my lips instinctively as I watch her struggle for words, the faint taste of her still lingering in my memory.  
  
“I have years of practice, Calliope. And what can I say, a natural talent.”  
  
She reaches over and rubs a smudge of pizza sauce off my lip, and I dart my tongue out to swirl around her thumb, watching her eyes widen slightly.  
  
“Which I can definitely say you possess as well. I’m kind of glad only one other woman knows how amazing you are. I’m keeping you all to myself.”  
  
Grinning proudly, she eats her last bite of pizza and stretches out beside me, letting the sheet drape lazily, only halfheartedly covering her. My eyes can’t help but wander along the delicious, tanned curves of her body – a body I had been absolutely dying to see since our first kiss months ago – and I reach out to trace my finger over the tattoo that lays above her hip.  
  
“And I like this,” I lean in, placing a warm kiss over it, “it’s beautiful.”  
  
She looks down, a hint of surprise crossing her features.  
  
“Most people I’ve slept with never even noticed it.”  
  
Tracing my thumb along the delicate design of the rose, I feel my lips shift slowly into a smile.  
  
“I’m not most people.”_  
  
My thumb traces lazily over the design again as I remember that night and she stirs a little, her lips curving into a smile as she murmurs sleepily.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“Just admiring the beautiful woman in my bed,” I smile, rubbing up over her shoulder and brushing my fingers lightly through her hair, “who happens to be my fiancée now.”  
  
I laugh softly, tucking her hair behind her ear and letting my fingers linger along her neck.  
  
“Again.”  
  
Callie shifts onto her side, dark eyes just quietly studying me.  
  
“It’s a little weird to think about it, isn’t it? To go from calling you my wife to calling you my fiancée again. It's so backwards.”  
  
“A little weird,” I agree, “but, I suppose we’ve never exactly done things the conventional way.”  
  
She smiles, playing with my fingers where they rest on the bed between us now.  
  
“Yeah, that’s for sure.”  
  
I watch our hands silently for a few minutes as she just absently tangles our fingers together.  
  
“Honestly? I didn’t think you’d want to marry me again. Even if we stayed together.”  
  
I glance up when I feel her eyes on me, and she holds my gaze.  
  
“Arizona...when things were good, our marriage was amazing. I loved being able to call you my wife. You gave me the life and the family I'd always wanted.”  
  
“I just didn’t know if you’d ever trust me one hundred percent again, you know?”  
  
She lifts my hand a little, pressing a kiss to my palm.  
  
“Our past is our past now. I love you, and I do trust you – completely.”  
  
A slight twinkle of amusement lights her eyes after a pause.  
  
“I mean, if you ever sleep with anyone else again, woman or...well, woman...I’ll kick the crap out of you.”  
  
Laughing as I remember using that very line myself -- and blushing a little over the fact that she remembers it -- I twine our fingers tightly.  
  
“You definitely don’t have to worry.”  
  
Callie leans closer then, capturing my lips in a warm, soft kiss.  
  
“I’m not.”  
  
"Mm...good," I manage to mumble the word before she nips at my lip, deepening the kiss for all too brief a moment. A wonderful, delicious moment though.  
  
When she leans back, she gently picks up my hand to run her fingertip along the lengths of each digit. The simple touches are one of the things I'd missed the most, one of the things I always cherished between us. Calliope had always been touching me -- whether it was a hand at my back, or absently stroking my hair as we lay together, or playing with my fingers and mapping my bone structure. It was natural for her, not even a conscious thought. But to me it meant everything.  
  
"Do you want another wedding?"  
  
I look up suddenly as she voices the question, and I realize that I don't immediately have an answer.  
  
"I...I don't know. Do you? I suppose it's not really something I ever thought about."  
  
"I don't know either."  
  
Our first wedding had been...perfect. It had been everything Callie ever wanted, and everything I never even knew I did. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined we'd need to think about doing it again.  
  
"Our wedding was...perfect," I sigh a little, almost regretfully, "it was so beautiful. Everything about it. I kind of feel like this time, I just want to be married. I don't need to try and replicate that or outdo it."  
  
I'm a little worried at the answer I give, because I know Callie loves weddings - had always, always dreamed of beautiful white weddings. But as she runs her finger up the inside of my arm, tracing the hidden vein there, she surprises me.  
  
"I kind of just want to elope. We could run away to Vegas and have an Elvis wedding."  
  
A soft laugh catches in my throat, and she grins at me, waggling her eyebrows playfully.  
  
"We could, but I don't know that I really want to bring our four-year-old to Vegas quite yet. And I want her to be there."  
  
Her finger stills over my skin, and her grin turns into more of a warm smile at the thought of our daughter at home.  
  
"Me too. Maybe we could...do something, just us and her. Something small. Even just at city hall, honestly, I'd be happy with that."  
  
"I would be too," I reach over and run a curl of dark hair through my fingers, "and...we can get legally, one hundred percent married this time, Calliope. We can get married and no one --  _no one_  -- can try to deny that we are."  
  
Realization dawns on her face, as if she hadn't even thought about that fact before, and her eyes light up immediately.  
  
"We can get  _married_. Not...domestic partnershipped."  
  
I tuck the hair behind her ear, curling my fingers lightly against her skin and trailing them down along her neck.  
  
"We can. I don't want to wait too long, either. I know we haven't been back together that long, but...it feels right, doesn't it?"  
  
Callie shifts closer, and I feel the heat from her skin as her leg curls around mine under the sheets, tangling us together.  
  
"It feels so, so right."

 

  
*

 

  
We make it out of bed by lunch time, and decide to spend the last few hours before we need to pack just lounging on the beach. It had taken a little bit of convincing to get me outside in shorts and my bikini top, especially since I don’t have my realistic leg with me, but after making our way down along the beach and _not_  receiving any unwarranted stares, I start to relax. We find a spot and settle down on the warm sand, but before too long the quiet is broken by a slightly irritated voice beside me.  
  
“Yeah, that dude is totally checking you out.”  
  
Callie raises her sunglasses a little, pointedly glaring down the beach at a young guy who had just given me a wide smile as he passed. She shifts closer on the oversized towel we’re sharing and tilts my head toward her, kissing me deeply all of a sudden.  
  
“Mm,” I pull back after a few seconds, a delighted grin tugging at my lips, “a little possessive, are we?”  
  
“You bet I am."  
  
Her response is immediate, and I kiss her lightly again, brushing my nose against hers.  
  
“Why don’t you go get me an iced tea, sweetie, and I’ll stay here and try to fend off admirers?”  
  
Casting a glance back in the direction of the young stranger, who is probably staring now for an entirely different reason, Callie grabs her wallet and pushes herself up, pointing at me with a mock stern face.  
  
“I’ll be right back. Don't hold back any punches.”  
  
I grin as she takes off toward the boardwalk and turn to watch her, enjoying the view of her retreating form before I lean back on my elbows to look out over the water again.   
  
It's incredible what the last little while has done for us.  
  
We were apart for nearly four months, and the four or five before that had been filled with tension and blame and guilt -- there had been so much anger between us, some of which I don't think I even recognized at the time. But now -- thinking back over the last few days and the way we've talked, the way we've just been together easily and happily without a second thought -- it feels so natural again. I think this time we're coming out on top; we're coming out stronger and better than ever and I could not be happier if I tried.  
  
"What are you thinking so hard about?"  
  
The familiar timbre of her voice draws me out of my thoughts a little later, and I tilt my head back to smile up at her.  
  
"Us."  
  
Her smile beams down at me, and she hands me my drink before settling back down beside me.  
  
"I missed the sound of 'us'."  
  
"Me too," I sit up and take a sip of the icy beverage, "we're better together than we are apart."  
  
Callie sets her own drink down, and she holds out her closed fist in front of me.  
  
"I got you something else."  
  
Eyeing her hand a little suspiciously, I set my drink out of the way.  
  
"It's not a bug or a worm is it? Cause Sofia pulls this trick and I keep falling for it and it's always something icky..."  
  
Laughing loudly, the brunette opens her hand and holds the tiny object in her palm.  
  
"Nothing icky."  
  
Nestled in the centre of her hand is a simple band carved out of seashell. The mother-of-pearl gleams in the sun; multicoloured swirls and tones of grey beautifully mixed.  
  
"You got me a ring?"  
  
I smile widely as she takes my hand, sliding the ring onto my left ring finger and holding it close to admire it.  
  
"Well...I did just ask you to marry me. I didn't plan ahead though...and I wanted you to have something..."  
  
"It's beautiful."  
  
I lean closer, cupping her cheek and kissing her softly -- effectively interrupting her -- and I let my hand wander down to rest along the sun-warmed skin of her collarbone.   
  
"I love it, Calliope. Even though you're all I need."  
  
She kisses me again, smiling against my lips as she pulls away.  
  
"But now everyone else knows you're mine too. And I kinda like that."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
"We should bring Sofia here some time."  
  
I watch the blonde as she gazes at some children playing in the sand, their giggles dancing through the air as they chase each other. We're back at the Splash Café for a late lunch before we need to leave, and a family sitting nearby has three adorable little kids who they've let loose to run around.  
  
"She would love it, we definitely should," Arizona smiles over at me, tearing her eyes away, "she's never been to a beach."  
  
"Yeah," I glance at the kids again, then poke at the few bites of food left on my plate, "my dad wanted me to bring her to Florida for a visit a few months back, but we didn't go."  
  
"How come?"  
  
Her eyes are curious now as she sips at her lemonade, and I just shrug.  
  
"I mean...I would have been okay with it as long as you told me. I hope you know that."  
  
I nod, giving her a small smile.  
  
"I know you would have. It's a long story."  
  
A blonde eyebrow raises ever so slightly, and she nudges her foot against mine under the table.  
  
"I have time."  
  
Shifting a bit uncomfortably in my chair, I let out a soft sigh. I want to talk about it with her, but I also _don't_. It feels awkward now, and it's unimportant at this point anyway.  
  
"I talked to my mom."  
  
A beat of silence passes between us, as I expected it would, and I feel Arizona's hand slide across the table and take mine.  
  
"Lucia spoke to you? After all these years, has she actually started to come around? That's probably a stupid question, isn't it, or else you would have gone to visit."  
  
I don't answer right away, casting my eyes to where her hand is curling around mine. I let our fingers hook together and study the simple ring she now wears, the colours of the shell perfectly complimenting the pale pink nail polish she has on. As if my mother would ever come around to her -- to this. I'd buried that hope years ago, but yet somehow the reality still stung painfully.  
  
"I talked to my dad a lot after we separated. He told her we got divorced...you know, just as a general hey here's what's happening in your daughter's life...and she wanted to congratulate me, basically."  
  
The other woman's grip tightens almost imperceptibly on me, and I shake my head a little.  
  
"Maybe not in exactly those words, but she told me how happy she was to hear that you were finally out of the picture -- how relieved she was that I'd 'come to my senses' and stopped 'pretending' I had a real marriage. She told me that I had a whole lot of repenting to do to make up for it all, but that she warned me this would happen anyway.  _'This is what happens when you sin, Calliope.'_ "  
  
I scoff a little before I look up at Arizona and she just remains silent, a dark, steely look in her eyes. Her jaw is tense and she's almost frighteningly still -- I can see it in her face, see the same anger and hurt that I felt that night my mother and I had spoken on the phone.  
  
"Oh, and let's not forget the part where she gave me  _permission_  to bring Sofia to see her. I guess, you know, she can reluctantly accept my bastard child as long as she can pretend she doesn't have two mothers. She even had the nerve to offer to introduce me to the son of one of her lawyer friends. As if she'd been planning it all along. After we'd only been separated a  _month!_ "  
  
I hate the bitterness in my voice as I remember the conversation, but that's all I can bring myself to feel when it comes to my mother anymore. My father had taken the phone back from her quickly and apologized profusely, his sorrow genuine when he told me again that he was very sorry things hadn't worked out between Arizona and I.  _He'd_  even tried to convince me to work on things some more, to try more therapy, or whatever it might take. My father loved all of us, but that had truly been the moment that I knew my mother never would.  
  
"Calliope..."   
  
Her voice is soft when she finally speaks, her other hand coming up to cradle mine between her own. I raise my eyes and meet hers again, and although the underlying anger is still there, it's been replaced by a sadness and an almost fierce protectiveness as she holds my gaze.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Mustering up a small smile, I just shake my head a little. The feel of her warm hands surrounding mine is enough to ease some of the tension from my body.  
  
"I'm over it, I guess. It just makes me so angry."  
  
"And rightfully so," she tilts her head a little, "you've done nothing to deserve any of what she's thrown at you."  
  
"I'm just glad Sofia has one grandmother who loves her. I just -- " I sigh, "for a few brief seconds I thought maybe she would be my mom again, you know? And then the things she said..."  
  
My voice trails off, and I swallow a small lump in my throat.  
  
"That hurt even more than what she said before our wedding. What kind of parent says they're  _happy_ their kid's heart is broken? That their whole life has fallen apart? Who  _says_  that?"  
  
She squeezes my hand again, and the gesture sends a wave of comfort through me.  
  
"I don't know, Calliope. But I hope you know how much my mom loves you...it'll never be the same, I know, and she can't replace your own, but...she really, really loves you. For what it's worth."  
  
It's worth a lot. I realized just how much over the last six months. And so I can't help the small smile I give her, thinking of the older blonde woman currently inhabiting our home; the surrogate mother who hadn't even abandoned me after I was no longer married to her daughter, after I broke her daughter's heart. She'd told me once that Arizona was okay with us talking, but that she wouldn't have given her a choice in the matter anyway. She'd said she would never abandon her granddaughter, and she would never shut me out either because we were  _family_. It's almost like she knew something neither of us could figure out.  
  
"I know -- and it means everything to me."  
  
The blonde gives me a brilliant smile, and she lifts my hand to press a soft kiss to my knuckles. When she looks at me like that, with that dazzling, super magic smile, I can't help but match it immediately with my own. It stirs something deep inside me; she makes me feel like everything is always going to be alright.  
  
"You're so much like her, Arizona."  
  
She almost beams a little then, obviously happy, and a little surprised at the comparison.  
  
"We both are. Our children will never,  _ever_ , think they're not loved and accepted."  
  
And there it is again. I catch her fleeting choice of words like I did months ago at lunch, and although I'm not certain she chose it deliberately -- she slips it in seemingly without thought, and without hesitation, maybe just without even realizing -- she says it nonetheless.  
  
 _Children._  
  
A smile tugs at my lips again, and I relish the adoring look in those blue eyes. My heart almost bursts with the idea of raising another baby with this woman, with the idea of realizing the dream I'd held for so long when we were together -- but I don't say a word, and I store away that feeling for another time.  
  
For now, all that matters is us.  
  
And she is my dream first and foremost.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re still keeping up with this story, I want to say thanks! I hope I’m still taking these characters on a journey that is worthy of them – I’d love to hear what you think!

**_Callie_ **

  
The last two months have been absolutely insane.  
  
Arizona and I had both hit the ground running when we came back from Pismo Beach. Herman had apparently been busy during her recovery spreading the word throughout the medical community about her latest protegé, and a steady stream of referrals had started to contact the hospital from all over the country. Addison Montgomery had even sent a few people her way -- thrilled that there was now a second fetal surgeon on the west coast she could recommend to potential patients who would have otherwise travelled to L.A. I’d talked to Addie a few times over the last couple months, and she was blown away by the things she was hearing about Arizona -- which I’ll admit made my heart swell with pride a little, knowing that feisty redhead didn’t give out praise easily. The blonde had been slightly stressed out about everything at first, but I could see she was thriving; she was becoming more and more confident and loving every minute of utilizing her new skills.  
  
My own work with the robotics lab had also had a major breakthrough after we came back; one of the neuro functions we had been struggling with was finally working how I imagined. Amelia had agreed to sign on as the new neurosurgeon to the trial after seeing the success we were having – and possibly after a nudge from Arizona -- and I was really enjoying working with the other woman. Her knowledge of prosthetics was limited, but she brought some new ideas to the table and we’d already been able to fine-tune a lot of the functions. I'd had a handful of new patients from the veteran project come through to try the prototype, and just last week we'd been approved to send our first patient home and out into the world to test it for "real-life" wear. Of course, I'd wanted Arizona to be the first take-home trial -- the entire project had started because of her -- but she had declined, just not feeling like she was ready to deal with getting used to a new leg on top of her busy schedule. A year ago I probably would have been annoyed about it, but this time I completely understood.   
  
But between all our work, and preschool, and Sofia's new dance class, it felt like we had barely had time to breathe the last little while. We hadn't been on a date in two months, and had barely even talked about getting married and any of our plans for that. We  _had_  managed to follow our family dinner twice a week rule, however. Some nights one of us barely squeaked home in time, and it had admittedly been a family dinner of takeout on the couch at least twice, but we'd made that promise to each other and we were hell bent on keeping it.   
  
As I check the enchiladas in the oven and glance at the clock, I can't help but smile at the thought of welcoming Arizona home any minute now. These nights had become my absolute favourite -- and tonight especially I was looking forward to seeing the blonde because I had a surprise for her, one I’d been holding onto for the last week and a half waiting for the right time.  
  
I glance over at the tiny blue box sitting on her plate at the table, suddenly a little nervous. Hopefully a surprise she'll like.  
  
Two weeks ago, I'd swiped the sapphire ring that I'd given her when we moved into the house and had a new engraving added -- a line from one of our favourite songs. Part of me had wanted to buy her a brand new ring, since this was a brand new start for us, but...she had loved that ring so much I thought I would just...update it.  
  
I hear the front door opening and Sofia's footsteps as she runs out from the living room and...yeah, suddenly I'm a  _lot_  nervous.  
  
The childish chattering from the front of the house goes on for several minutes -- she's completely inheriting Arizona's perky, bubbly mannerisms, so help me -- and I take the opportunity to get the last bits of supper ready, mixing up the bowl of salad and checking the dish in the oven before turning the heat down.  
  
"Something smells delicious in here! Sof, were you cooking again?"  
  
I look up and smile as the blonde appears in the doorway, the little girl on her hip, and Sofia just glances over at me and giggles.  
  
"Yah! I made it alllllllll. Mommy did nothin'. "  
  
"It's true," I look around, shrugging helplessly, "she's taken over. I'm no longer needed here."  
  
Moving around the island, Arizona leans in and captures my lips in a soft kiss, and I sigh happily into the now-familiar greeting.  
  
"Mm, I still need you."  
  
"Mamaaaaa!"  
  
The four-year-old wrinkles her nose a little, giving both of us an exasperated look from her perch in her mother’s arms. Kissing had, apparently, become something totally and completely appalling.  
  
"Mama loves kissing!"  
  
I watch and can't help but laugh as she smooches Sofia on the lips, and then proceeds to cover her face in light little kisses until the squealing girl manages to squirm down to the floor. I’m constantly awed by the pure love and affection Arizona has for our little girl. It’s not that I ever thought she  _wouldn’t_  be an affectionate mother, but from the minute Sofia was born she had been utterly smitten, and she was adoringly demonstrative with her feelings.   
  
"That's what happens, Sof," I run my fingers through her hair as she scurries away, "hey and don't go too far, supper is almost ready!"  
  
The blonde watches her go, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she leans back on the counter.  
  
"I fall more and more in love with that tiny human every day. How did we end up with such a perfect kid?"  
  
"Well, she  _does_  have my genes."  
  
"And Mark's."  
  
I pause for a minute, unsure what tone she’s taking, but then I see her slightly raised eyebrow and the amused look on her face, and a laugh bubbles up from my throat.  
  
"Yeah, good point. God, let's hope she takes after you when she’s a teenager."  
  
Arizona's eyes go wide momentarily before she speaks.  
  
"Oh no, no...let's not hope that. My teenage years were  _not_  all as pink and pretty as you imagine."  
  
The timer goes off on the oven, and I give her a questioning look before heading over and sliding the pan out.  
  
"You know, I really wish Tim was still around to tell me stories of your misguided youth."  
  
"He'd be sworn to secrecy. There’s a reason no one sees pictures of me from a few years in there."  
  
She peers down at the enchiladas and swipes her finger through the sauce lightly, bringing it up to her mouth.  
  
"That's hot, Arizona!"  
  
"And delicious."  
  
I grab the salad bowl and thrust it towards her, pointing across the room, and I make a mental note to try bribing some old photos out of Barbara next time we talk. It had never actually occurred to me that there were a few years missing from the albums Arizona had, but now that she’s mentioned it I can’t  _not_  know.  
  
"Here, take this to the table. Please."  
  
She hadn't noticed the box on the table at all since she'd come in, and I glance over my shoulder as she heads that way now, waiting for her eyes to fall on the tiny gift. Holding my breath without realizing it, I fight against saying anything and just wait for her reaction. In a minute, she sets the bowl down, and I see her hand hover over her plate, a stunned look on her face.  
  
"Open it."   
  
I smile slowly, walking over toward the table, and wait in front of her as she delicately picks up the tiny box, giving me a questioning look.  
  
"Just open it."  
  
I bite my lip nervously, mustering up another smile as she meets my eyes, and watch as she drops her gaze again and opens the lid. She picks up the ring, smiling widely at the familiarity of it.  
  
"I know I...already gave you that ring. And you probably felt awkward about putting it back on now. But you loved it so much, and it looked so beautiful on you that I didn’t think it should sit at the bottom of your jewelry box for the next fifty years. So look inside."  
  
Giving me a curious look, she holds the ring up closer to her face and tilts it to see the engraving. I'd left the date that we moved into the house, and added a small inscription around the other side of the inner curve -- it had taken me three jewelers before I'd found one who could engrave small enough for it to fit.  
  
 _I am me, the universe, and you._  
  
"I hope you don’t think it’s lame...” I falter a bit as she simply stares at the inside of the ring, her eyes unreadable, “I thought...I didn't want them to erase the date. It was still an important day for us, you know? It's our history. But that line, it’s just...it’s how I feel about you. And I think how you feel about me. You are..." I trail off a little, my voice softening, nerves leaving me as I gaze at her face, "you are my future, Arizona. You are everything to me.”  
  
A silence fills the space between us, and her eyes remain trained on the ring for another few seconds.  
  
“Calliope Iphigenia Torres...”  
  
My name tumbles from her lips in a whisper, her voice lyrically rolling through the syllables, and she looks up with brilliant blue eyes and a smile to meet my own as she speaks almost reverently.  
  
“I love you. How did I get so lucky?”  
  
She slips the ring on her left hand, nestling it beside the ring from Pismo that she’s yet to take off, and she steps around the table and immediately envelopes me in a tight embrace. I sigh happily at the warmth of her body against mine and nuzzle her hair affectionately, catching the sweet scent of her shampoo and perfume and everything that’s just...her.  
  
“You really like it?”  
  
Arizona pulls back then, her hands coming up to cup my face, and she kisses me forcefully, effectively silencing any of my doubts.  
  
“I love it,” she kisses me once more, her smile brilliantly lighting up her face, “and I love you. It’s perfect, Calliope.”  
  
Little footsteps patter back into the kitchen all of a sudden, and the other woman looks over, grinning as the child tries to peer up at the food on the counter, oblivious to the moment transpiring behind her.  
  
“Ready for supper, little miss?”  
  
“Yes pease!”  
  
I glance down at Arizona’s hand, noticing she does the same, simply admiring the blue stone for a moment. It’s back where it belongs, and this time, it’s there to stay.  
  
“Let’s eat then.”

 

  
*

 

  
“The thing I never understood is...why would you even  _want_  to make a coat out of puppies? They’re not even really furry puppies. I mean, how warm could that be anyway?”  
  
“Shh!”  
  
The hushed reply comes from the pajama-clad girl between us on the couch, and a dirty look is thrown my way by the woman on her other side.  
  
“Because she’s  _evil_ , and that’s just what someone evil would do.”  
  
For Sofia’s second birthday, Arizona’s mom had amassed a collection of the classic Disney movies on DVD – all of which had, naturally, been the blonde’s favourites as a child. I had always watched Disney movies, sure, but my sister and I had never obsessed over them quite as much as I feel the Robbins children did. Sofia’s current favourite of the lot was 101 Dalmatians, and so after some brief coaxing on my part it had narrowly beat out Frozen as tonight’s viewing choice.  
  
Sofia shrieked suddenly as said villain appeared on the television, and she burrowed into my side, peeking out cautiously.  
  
“It’s okay! She’ll never be able to catch them. They’ve got the...uh, barking telephone thing...”  
  
“The Twilight Bark!”  
  
Arizona finishes for me, grinning delightedly as her attention remains fixed on the screen. I look over Sofia’s head and just watch her, unable to help the smile that plays on my lips. She’s so wonderfully childlike sometimes in her love for these movies. It’s adorable.  
  
Reaching around, I tug the sleeve of her hoodie a bit, beckoning her until she shifts closer on the couch to where I can wrap my arm around her shoulders. Sofia shifts half onto her lap and snuggles in, and Arizona simply rests her head against my shoulder with a content sigh, her attention never leaving the animated drama in front of us.  
  
“Look, Sofia! Here comes Pongo!”

 

  
*

 

  
“But I’m not tireddd, Mama.”  
  
I glance down with an amused look as the child’s argument is punctuated by a loud yawn.  
  
“But Donny is sooo tired.”  
  
Arizona squeezes the foot of the well-loved purple dinosaur teddy in Sofia’s arms, and then smoothes her hand over the head of dark hair.  
  
“And you know he can’t sleep without you. So I think we should get you both into bed.”  
  
Sofia looks up at me innocently, her big brown eyes trying to coax me into disagreeing.  
  
“Mommy, I don’t wannaaaa.”  
  
“But if you go to bed now, you can have a story. How does that sound?”  
  
I climb off the couch and scoop the little girl into my arms, dino and all. She’s still faintly protesting, but she yawns and clutches the teddy bear, letting out a world-weary sigh as she leans against my shoulder.  
  
“You and mama go to bed too.”  
  
The blonde pushes herself up, dropping a soft kiss on our daughter’s cheek. I smile at her, a knowing look passing between us as the little girl airs her familiar bedtime statement – always afraid we’re going to have too much fun without her. I shift my hold a bit before heading out and down towards the bedrooms, and head into hers to get her settled for the night. I doubt it’s going to take very long.  
  
“Mama and I will go to bed soon too, don’t worry.”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
I tidy up the living room and do a last check of the lights and locks around the house before making my way down to the bedroom, pausing only briefly outside Sofia’s door with a smile at the sound of Callie’s voice reading out loud. She’s by far the best storyteller in the house – the best I’ve ever heard, truthfully. She’s enthralling, and she does these amazing voices, and it’s no wonder our daughter has such a love for books already.  
  
I switch the lamp on beside our bed and pull off my hoodie, padding into the bathroom. When the light comes on in there, it catches the stone on my finger, and I can’t help bring my hand up to admire the beautiful piece of jewelry for the thousandth time tonight.  
  
It really is perfect. I slip it off carefully, holding it up to run my finger along the inside, over the delicately engraved words that now adorn the inner band. The countless times we had listened to that song, had danced to it, sung it under our breath to each other – the memories attached to such a simple line of words are endless. We hadn’t chosen it as our wedding song, always keeping it as something just between the two of us, but she couldn’t have chosen a more perfect way to commemorate this new part of our lives.  
  
I stifle a yawn behind my own hand before slipping the ring back on, and reach over to start the water in the bathtub. The ensuite had come with an average-sized one when we bought the house, but I was glad that Callie had insisted upon replacing it with a soaker tub. I was exhausted, and although already happily relaxed after our night in, it beckoned to me with the promise of warmth and soothing bubbles.  
  
Ten minutes later the tub is filled with just that, and I settle in, sinking down to rest my head against the back. I hear quiet shuffling in the bedroom a few moments later, and glance over to see Callie’s shadow in the light from the bedroom.  
  
“Hey,” I call out softly, “come here.”  
  
A moment later, the brunette appears in the doorway of the bathroom, a smile on her face.  
  
"I thought I heard the water running."  
  
"Sofia go down okay?"  
  
Callie grabs a hair tie from the counter and starts pulling her hair back into a bun, nodding a little, and I watch the lean, toned lines of her bare arms.  
  
"She fought it until the end of the story, but she's out like a light now."  
  
Glancing down at the bubble covered surface of the tub again, I nod, hesitating a minute before I voice my next question. Callie and I used to love sharing a bath. It was a luxury we'd discovered we both loved fairly early on our relationship, and with the easy intimacy we shared, it had quickly become a favourite pastime.   
  
We hadn't though, since the crash.  
  
We'd showered together, and slept together, so of course she'd seen and touched my naked body -- touched it quite literally  _everywhere_  -- but for whatever reason, I'd avoided sharing a bath with the other woman. It was self-consciousness at first, but after that...truthfully, I don't really know what it was that had stopped me. She had never brought it up either, and so it had just...disappeared from our routine.  
  
"Do you want to join me?"  
  
I look up again, letting my lips curve into a shy smile, and I catch the look of surprise in her eyes as she turns from the mirror.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah,” I watch her, letting out a content sigh, “I'd like that."  
  
Her smile blossoms, and the way it reaches her eyes and makes them sparkle just makes her that much more breathtakingly gorgeous. I will never stop being amazed at the natural beauty this woman possesses. I watch as she strips out of her pajamas and lets the clothing pool on the floor next to mine, my eyes grazing over the soft curves and lines of her body. I know she hates the scars that mark her torso from her surgeries, and the slight swell of her stomach and the stretch marks that remained after Sofia was born -- but I think everything about her is beautiful.   
  
She hesitates a minute, looking down at me, but I immediately scoot forward in the tub to make room.   
  
"It's been awhile..."  
  
Callie carefully climbs in behind me, lowering herself into the water and settling back, her legs stretching out on either side of mine. I let out a sigh, settling back easily against her, and I let my head fall against her shoulder. One of her arms wraps gently around my middle, and she rests the other alongside mine on the edge of the tub, one finger lightly tracing over my knuckles.  
  
"I really missed this."  
  
She lets the admission out softly, dropping a kiss on my temple. I feel a slight tickle where some of her hair falls against my cheek, and I smile to myself.  
  
"I did too. It seemed like the perfect end to tonight."  
  
Her hand smoothes over my stomach below water, and roams slowly along the top of my thigh, absently stroking patterns into my skin. I love the feel of her wet, warm skin against mine; her entire body enveloping me in what feels like a safe little cocoon. The smell of the lavender bubble bath surrounds us, and I tilt my head up slightly so I can look at her.  
  
"Let's get married."  
  
A curious look crosses her eyes, and she quirks an eyebrow slightly as she looks at me.  
  
"Um, I already asked  _you_  that, remember?"  
  
Her finger lightly taps mine just above the sapphire, and I feel a grin tug at my lips.  
  
"I mean, let's get married now. Let's just...do it. We haven't really had time to talk about the how and the when, but I don't want to wait."  
  
Surprise now evident in her eyes, I see her own lips curving into a small smile, although she's giving me a slightly are-you-crazy look.  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
I look down at our hands on the edge of the tub and I turn mine under hers, our fingers naturally falling to link together.  
  
"I'm serious. I mean, we’re always busy. Is there ever going to be a perfect time? We both have Friday afternoon off, so let's pick Sofia up early from school and go to the courthouse."  
  
The idea hadn't crossed my mind until just now -- I hadn't been thinking about it much, admittedly, with how much we'd both been working the last few weeks. We had never decided whether we wanted to go with another wedding, or how we'd go about this, hadn't really talked about it at all since Pismo. But...like I told her, I'm tired of waiting. I’m tired of waiting for everything with her.  
  
"Maybe we can invite everyone over to Joe's afterwards to celebrate."  
  
"Friday. As in  _three_  days from now."  
  
"Unless you want to have another big wedding," I tilt my head up again so I can see her face, "then we can wait."  
  
The emotion in her eyes is palpable as she considers my request, and I find myself more hopeful than I expected that she'll agree and say yes. I know she's mine, I know we're going to be together -- but something deep in my very soul just cannot wait another minute to be her wife again.   
  
Her arm tightens around my middle under the warmth of the water, and after only a moment's pause she presses a soft kiss to the corner of my eye, her lips forming into a beautiful smile.  
  
"No, I don’t want to wait either. We're getting married on Friday."

 


	18. Chapter 18

**_Arizona_ **

  
“Karev!”  
   
I spot the younger doctor over behind the desk in the emergency department, and I weave my way around a couple interns in the mostly-quiet room to make my way over. He’s engrossed typing something on one of the tablets, and he glances up as I approach with a nod of acknowledgement.  
   
“Robbins, hey. You need something? How’s that preemie doing from this morning? Baby Olivia?"  
   
I smile, leaning on the counter opposite him, my fingers drumming lightly against the surface in a slightly distracted manner. I love that after all these years, Alex has become the doctor I always dreamed he would be -- that I knew he could be. His first thoughts are always for the tiny humans in our care, even if they're not his patients.   
   
“Good, actually, I was just up there. She’s a little fighter. I just wanted to ask you something though.”  
   
Tapping a few more buttons, he slides the tablet back into the charging pod and looks at me expectantly.  
   
“Ok?”  
   
“Are you busy Friday night?”  
   
His answer comes without hesitation and really, I'm not even surprised.   
  
“That depends. Are you looking for free babysitting again?”  
   
I grin widely at the sceptical look he’s giving me and reach over to jab him in the arm.  
   
“No. Callie and I are getting married on Friday. We’re having a little thing at Joe’s afterward, and we want you to come."  
   
The young man’s eyes widen noticeably, and he lets out a half laugh of surprise.  
   
“You serious? You’re pulling some kind of shotgun wedding?”  
   
“Well...” I muse over his question deliberately, “not really, because no one’s pregnant, we're not eighteen, and you know, we actually  _want_  to marry each other. We just didn’t see the point in putting it off any longer. So, we decided to do the courthouse Friday afternoon, and a party Friday night. We’re keeping it simple this time.”  
   
“Yeah, you know, between you and me? The big white weddings don't exactly have the best track record, do they."  
   
He comes around the desk, chuckling to himself, and I give him a solid thump on the arm this time. He scowls at me, rubbing the spot, and gives me an incredulous look.  
   
“What! I mean come on, it's true.”  
   
“Just be there, okay?” I smile a little again, lowering my voice, “You’re my guy, Alex. And bring Jo, of course. And spread the word – everyone’s invited. We just want it to be a celebration."  
   
He shakes his head and grins then – a genuine, heartfelt grin that is so reminiscent of my brother – and reaches up to squeeze my shoulder  
   
“Of course I’ll be there. I’m not gettin' you another gift though.”

 

  
 *

 

  
I invite pretty well everyone in the hospital we know throughout the morning – and some that we don't really know -- sometimes finding out that Callie has already mentioned it as well. By lunch time I know I'm walking around like a kid on a sugar high because I'm just so delighted by the fact that this is truly becoming reality.  
  
I get to marry Callie again on Friday.  
  
It feels like the final piece in getting my life back, in getting  _me_  back. A year ago I was in a darker place than I had ever imagined fathomable; a place where I barely knew how to get myself out of bed every day and carry on, let alone pick up the pieces of the mess my life had become. But now? Now there's light and hope in my life again, there's love, and it has me absolutely on cloud nine.   
  
"Arizona Robbins."  
  
I turn around from the coffee machine in the attendings' lounge at the familiar -- but startlingly stern – voice that comes up behind me.   
  
"You're getting re-hitched on Friday and I had to hear it from Edwards?!"  
  
Amelia plants her hands on her hips in what would be an imposing manner if it wasn't for the slight twitch of her lips giving her away. Try as she might, I know she can never stay mad at me.   
  
"I've been looking for you all morning! I texted you!"  
  
"You texted me that you wanted to tell me something -- next time put a little more urgency into it, woman!"  
  
She lets her laugh bubble over and grabs the cup from my hand, setting it aside before she engulfs me in a hug. Open displays of affection are rare from the younger Shepherd, they always have been, so I squeeze her tight given the opportunity and relish the feeling.  
  
"So you guys are taking the plunge, huh?"   
  
She pulls back, grinning slyly at me as she tucks back some stray dark hair.  
  
"You better make sure it sticks this time. Seeing as it'll be completely and legally binding like it is for the rest of us shlumps."  
  
I can't help but laugh, and I almost wish I did need a bridesmaid because there is no one I would love to see take on the role more than her.   
  
"Trust me, I plan on making sure it sticks. I'm not going to screw it up this time. And, you know, hopefully fate is done messing with us and won't throw any more catastrophic, life-changing events our way."  
  
She steps around me and finishes filling my cup, handing it over before she fills one of her own with the lackluster caffeinated liquid.   
  
"You'd kick its ass next time anyway. I'm happy for you. Six months ago when you told me you'd just gone on a date with your ex-wife, well...I gotta say I wasn't entirely sure how that was going to work out."  
  
"You and me both," I stir some milk and sugar into my coffee in an attempt to make it palatable and perch on the edge of a couch cushion, "I honestly never dreamed we'd be this happy again. Not looking back to where we were a year ago, literally yelling at each other in a therapist's office."  
  
Amelia just hums in agreement, her back still to me as she takes a drink of her coffee.   
  
"I guess sometimes we really do need to be ripped apart at the seams."  
  
She turns and smiles a little, shoving her free hand down into the pocket of her lab coat.  
  
"And if we're lucky," she shrugs, "being ripped apart works. And we can claw our way back and rebuild."  
  
An undertone of regret is suddenly evident in the other woman's voice and I glance up, sensing the feelings that are stirring up inside of her. The two of us had become close again since she'd moved to Seattle, and some things never changed -- I was still one of the few people who could read her like a book. I really regret that I hadn't been there for her over the last couple years. Part of me wonders if things would have been different if she'd still been in my life too, if I would have let her friendship help  _me_  claw my way back sooner than I did.  
  
"You've rebuilt yourself too, Amy."  
  
She studies her coffee unaffectedly and shrugs a shoulder again, and my tone instinctively softens.   
  
"You might not have been able to do it with Ryan, but he'd be happy to see you now, you know."  
  
That surprisingly does earn me a smile, and the brunette comes over to sit beside me.   
  
"Yeah, I know. And that's something."  
  
"It is. The people who loved us...who we loved, in any way," I hesitate briefly, a slight ache squeezing my heart, "it's okay to miss them when happy occasions come around. It's natural. But we have to remember that happiness is what they wanted for us, even if they can't be here."  
  
Amelia looks up, a sigh leaving her lips, and she wraps her hands tightly around the coffee cup.   
  
"But how long does it have to be before I  _don't_  miss him every time I get invited to a wedding?"  
  
"Honestly?" I reach over and squeeze her arm affectionately, "maybe never."  
  
"Thanks," she leans her head back to rest on the couch with a groan, "that totally helps."  
  
I coax her hand from the cup and twine our fingers together, and I feel her grip me back after a brief moment, grounding herself in me like I have in her so many times in the past.  
  
"I miss Mark sometimes when I see Sofia smile," I pause, shaking my head a little and smiling to myself as I think about it, "her smile -- that's all Callie -- but when she smiles really big, when she's just delighted over something, her eyes crinkle up in the corners in a way that's so  _Mark_  I can't help it, you know? I think I'll always see that."  
  
She glances over, looking a touch surprised, and I just give her a little shrug.   
  
"It's been...god, it's been twelve  _years_  and I still miss Tim every time something exciting or good happens, or something heartbreaking. I still miss being able to call him up and tell him about it. I miss being able to tell him about Callie, and about his beautiful, amazing little niece -- even though he never met either of them."  
  
I look up again to find her still watching, and I hold her eyes for a minute.  
  
"You know, I cried on our first wedding day over Tim. I broke down and cried -- on Mark's shoulder, no less -- because I missed him so damn much. I was happier than I'd probably ever been, but I still  _missed_ him."  
  
I give her hand a little squeeze again.   
  
"And neither of them were the love of my life, Amelia. I don't even want to imagine what that would be like. I can't."  
  
A minute of silence hangs in the air between us, the faint shuffle of footsteps and voices out in the hall, and the hum of the coffee maker the only sounds in the otherwise empty room. The other doctor pulls her hand back, rubbing it over her face as she sits up.   
  
"I'm still incredibly happy for you two. You know that, right? Even though my little cloud of doom," she swirls her finger above her head, "descends now and again."  
  
Smiling, I nudge her shoulder with my own.   
  
"I know you are."  
  
"I just wish I could  _not_  think about him. Just say hey, this is awesome. A wedding, a happy wedding. I'll take Owen and I'll dance with Owen and he's a great guy so that'll be great. I mean for god's sake it's not like he's the first man I've dated since -- I was freaking engaged last year."  
  
"Mm," I finish my coffee, arching my eyebrow ever so slightly, "and how'd that work out?"  
  
The brunette shoots me a dirty look and I push myself off the couch, tossing my now-empty cup into the trash before I start to head out.  
  
"It'll get easier, Amy, I promise. A little bit easier every time. You're allowed to be happy  _and_  still miss people."  
  
"Ugh," she climbs up, crinkling her nose, "stop being so smart all the time, spewing your wisdom."  
  
A laugh bubbles up from my throat and I grin at the other woman, seeing that I've pulled her somewhat out of her momentary funk. If nothing else, I feel accomplished over that.  
  
"I can't help it. I'm right, and I'm awesome."  
  
"Annnnd still using that line I see, ten years later."  
  
"Hey," I turn to look back from the door, "if it's still accurate. So we'll see you at Joe's on Friday, right?"  
  
Amelia just shakes her head, matching my grin with a slight roll of her eyes.  
  
"Of course you will. You're retying the knot -- I'm not gonna miss this party a second time."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

   
It's official; I'm an awful mother and an even more awful doctor. I rescheduled a non-emergent surgery to take my daughter out of school and go dress shopping. And I only feel a tiny bit guilty about it.  
  
In my defence though, this is a pretty unique situation and I didn't exactly have a lot of time to plan ahead. So I work a fifteen hour shift tomorrow to make up for it -- it's worth it. I don't plan on marrying Arizona a third time, so this one has to be perfect.  
  
Sofia and I headed straight into the heart of downtown after I picked her up at lunch time and for the last hour and a half we'd been making our way through every dress shop and boutique in the shopping district. Finding something for her had been easy enough; she'd been delighted with her third option, a rich purple satin dress with an adorable tulle skirt and a bow at the waist. I picked out a matching hair clip with a bow and she was set.   
  
Finding something for me, however, was proving slightly more frustrating.   
  
I had only managed to convince Arizona this morning over breakfast that we should get new clothes at all for Friday -- not that she'd been opposed to the idea, she just didn't think it was strictly necessary. I smile to myself when I picture the sparkle in her eyes that had been present since the minute we stepped out of that bathtub. She literally just didn't care what we were wearing, as long as we were getting married again. I didn't either, not really, but I still liked the idea of making it a little special so we'd agreed upon two rules. One, nothing white -- been there, done that. And two, it had to be something the other hadn't seen yet.   
  
I figured the blonde would choose something either red or blue, so I tried to avoid those colours -- both of which were apparently very in style right now because they were literally everywhere. After the fourth store though, I settle on a simple, emerald green number -- with the approval of my tiny fashion consultant, of course. It fell just above knee-length, with a rounded neckline, cap sleeves, and a wide matching belt around the waist that accentuated the slight tufting in the skirt. It's dressy, but not too formal. Afternoon appropriate. Second wedding appropriate, I hope. I want Arizona to love it.  
  
We pay for the dress and we're just heading back down the street to the car when I hear my phone start to ring, Arizona's ringtone catching my ear through the bustle of the busy sidewalk. I fumble it out, shifting my grasp on the bags and Sofia's hand, hoping not to give away my location as I answer.   
  
"Hey sweetie! I thought you were in surgery all afternoon, everything ok?"  
  
"Callie, hi! Oh yeah, everything's fine."  
  
Her familiar voice comes over the line as we weave carefully down the sidewalk, and although she says she's fine there's something in her tone betraying her.   
  
"Surgery got pushed til tomorrow. I need a few more tests before I go in, and the mom was a little overstressed. Where are you? I saw yours was erased off the board."  
  
"Uh, yeah! Yeah, no mine ended up getting pushed too. Something about a conflict with the OR? And it's non-emergent, it's a hip replacement. I, uh, just ran out to...mail something."  
  
The mailbox by the car had caught my attention and become the first thing out of my mouth, but I groan inwardly. Mail something? What the hell would I be mailing? The other woman doesn't seem to think much of it though, because she doesn't question me further and seems to just accept that answer.   
  
"Do you have some free time then? Can you come pick me up? There's something I'd...there's just something I'd like to do before it's time to pick up Sof. And since we drove in together today..."  
  
I glance down at the little girl impatiently looking up at me and mentally calculate whether or not I can sneak her into the hospital and upstairs to daycare without running into her mama.   
  
"Of course. I'm just heading back now...um...meet me out front? Are you sure everything's ok?"  
  
"Positive. I'll meet you there in a few. Love you."  
  
I hear the click of her ending the call and I shove the phone in my pocket, hastily grabbing my keys and getting the car open to help Sofia inside.   
  
I know something is up with Arizona, I just don't know what. And I don't know if I should be worried or not. 

 

  
*

 

  
I park just out of sight of the front doors to the hospital and after stashing our shopping bags in the trunk under the emergency blanket I hustle Sofia in through the staff door around the side of the building. I'd sent a quick text to Amelia on our way and the neurosurgeon meets us with an amused smirk to smuggle the girl up to daycare, promising not to breathe a word to Arizona and come up with a cover story later about how I'd asked her to pick up the child from school.  
  
Satisfied that our little afternoon excursion will remain a secret, I make my way around to the front doors and immediately spot the beautiful blonde waiting for me.   
  
"Hey," I smile, sidling up behind the bench where she sits and leaning in to kiss her cheek, "chauffeur is here."  
  
She looks up, flashing me a smile, and takes my offered hand as she gets up. We turn to head across the parking lot, and I can't help but be a little bit curious at her silent greeting. I wait for her to say something, but as we approach the vehicle I decide to just ask.  
  
"So where are we going?"  
  
I watch the blonde pause slightly with her hand on the car door, but then she looks over and meets my eyes.  
  
"I want to go to Beechwood to visit Mark."  
  
And that...is not what I expected. At all.   
  
"Oh...okay."  
  
We settle into the car in silence again and I pull out of the lot, heading in the direction of the large cemetery on the east end of the city. I've never once heard Arizona talk about wanting to go visit Mark's grave -- truthfully, I don't even know if she's ever been there over the last couple years. I don't visit very often myself anymore, but I try to bring Sofia a few times a year and it's only ever been the two of us.   
  
"I know I've never gone with you and Sofia before," Arizona reaches over and rests her hand along my thigh, "I didn't really know how to ask, you know? I didn't know if it was entirely my place."  
  
I nod, glancing over at her quickly as she speaks.  
  
"I can understand that. It is, though. You could have come with us, you were family to him too."  
  
"I haven't been in almost a year and I just...I don't know. We're getting married again. He would be happy about that, and I want to let him know."  
  
I focus on the drive again, sighing softly to myself. He  _would_  be happy. He'd be happy I was finally getting my life together again, and had finally made the right choice when it came to her. They might not have always gotten along, but Mark had loved Arizona, and he had known I loved her – even when I wasn't sure of it myself.   
  
He would be happy for us.

 

  
*

 

  
Beechwood Cemetery is one of Seattle's larger ones, and as we pull into the winding drive the trees and gardens immediately seem to silence off the background noise from the city. I find parking, and pause as I watch Arizona start to leave the car.   
  
"Do you want me to wait here, or...?"  
  
"No," she looks back, catching my eye, "of course not. Come with."  
  
I climb out and lock up, taking her outstretched hand and linking our fingers together as she leads the way into the expansive cemetery, seemingly familiar with the path that heads toward the section Mark is buried in. I sigh softly, letting our hands hang comfortably between us. I can come here without crying now, without being upset, but I'll always feel a sense of heartache for the best friend I lost.   
  
"Truthfully, I didn't know you'd ever been here."  
  
I speak quietly as we walk along the well-manicured path, remembering how she had refused to even come to the funeral, and I feel an almost imperceptible tightening of her hand around mine.   
  
"It took me a long time. But I..." she looks over, the smallest smile crossing her lips as she shakes her head, "he was Sofia's father, Callie. And he was...despite our differences, he was my friend. He was a good friend, even if we butted heads at every corner."  
  
I smile a little at the honesty in her voice, and we continue walking quietly, turning off the path after awhile to cross the grass in a newer portion of the cemetery. As we approach his simple, dark grey stone, I let go of the blonde's hand and let her go ahead a bit. She's the one who'd wanted to visit, after all, so I want to give her a little bit of space.   
  
I'm only a few feet behind her though, and I watch as she smoothes her hand over the top of the stone. I don't mean to necessarily eavesdrop, but her quiet voice reaches my ears after a minute and I can't help but listen as she starts to speak.   
  
"Hey, Mark. Bet you thought I'd forgotten about you."  
  
The blonde crouches a bit and pulls a few errant dandelions growing around the base of the stone, neatening the grass as best she can.   
  
"I have good news this time, though. I know last time I...I'd broken my promise, about taking care of our girls. I'd failed Sofia, and Callie, and I honestly never thought things were going to turn around, Mark, but they have."  
  
She pauses briefly, and when she speaks again I can hear the smile in her voice, even though it's still barely above a whisper.   
  
"Callie and I are getting married on Friday. She wants to  _marry_  me again, and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world."  
  
Her voice has a tone of reverence to it that clenches at my heart, and she touches the headstone lightly again.   
  
"I moved back home a few months ago. And Sofia...she's  _so_  happy, she's so amazing. And now she's going to grow up with her family all under one roof, she's going to have everything we wanted, Mark. And I promise you, I  _promise_  that I'm never going to let anything hurt either of them again."  
  
I step up beside the other woman then and crouch down quietly, reaching for her hand and clasping it in my own before I speak.  
  
"You always knew Arizona was the love of my life. You kept telling me that she was my one big chance, my Lexie...and all the other stuff didn't matter, because it'd be worth it," I glance sideways at the other woman with a small smile, "and who would have thought, but you were right. It took me awhile to figure things out this past year, but here we are."  
  
I look over the lettering of the headstone, and a soft laugh bubbles up from my throat.   
  
" _Finally_ , here we are. And she's right, Mark. Sofia is so happy that we're all together again -- she's happy, and so am I. Arizona is taking good care of us. She never faltered, not even when we were apart."  
  
I look up to meet the blue eyes that are watching me, a myriad of emotions swirling in their depths, and I stand, pulling her up gently with me.   
  
"You never failed us, Arizona. If anything we failed each other, but you were still always there for us."  
  
She smiles a little, squeezing my hand, and leans in to press a soft kiss to my cheek.   
  
"And I always will be. You're my family."  
  
"And you're mine. You're my home. If the past year has shown me anything, it's that none of the rest of it _does_  matter. Life is going to throw crap at us left, right, and centre – it's going to try and break us, and test us. And I used to think home was a place; a place I could retreat to from all of that, and feel safe in. But home is you, Arizona. It will always be you.”  
  
And as I envelope the smaller women in my arms, feeling her press her face to my neck with a soft, content sigh, I have never felt more at ease.  
  
Because I am – I'm finally home.  
  
And I am never letting go again.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**_Arizona_ **

  
It's Friday morning, and it's early, and I'm standing outside the jewelry store waiting for it to open so I can pick up our rings and hurry back to the hospital to remove a very big hernia from a very tiny baby. I glance at the hours posted on the window and then down at my watch for the third time, watching the second hand move as I bounce a little anxiously.  
  
Callie doesn't actually know I picked out new rings for us. We hadn't talked about it, but I took it upon myself to make the decision for both our sakes. I know she would never say it, but she saw my wedding ring pinned to Lauren Boswell and I know that image has to be burned into her mind; it would be for me. That moment was the beginning of our unraveling and she doesn't deserve to have that memory forced upon her every time she looks at my hand. And I think we just need new rings for a new start, too. We deserve them. It's symbolic of everything we've come through to get to this point.   
  
The rings I'd picked out yesterday were simple bands; white gold with a small diamond adorning each. They're similar to our original pair in style, but different enough to be noticeable to at least ourselves. I'd had them both engraved on the inside this time with one simple word.   
  
 _Home._  
  
Because what Callie had said yesterday was true. From the minute I'd fallen in love with her, she had been my home. The times we were broken up, when we were divorced -- it never changed that feeling for me. It's always been her. Sofia is my heart, but Calliope is my home.   
  
My whole life, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. As a kid we moved around so much that all I had was my family and a small scattering of friends across the country; never a home town, never a childhood home I could truly call my own. My brother used to be the closest thing that felt like home, but when I lost him it felt like I was adrift again. For a long time I had work, and research, and relationships that I could never fully commit to...until I met her. And never had I experienced such a strong feeling of finally _belonging_  somewhere.   
  
Belonging  _with_  someone. It was a feeling I treasured with every fibre of my being.  
  
My thoughts are suddenly broken by the woman opening the door to the shop, and she greets me with a smile as she motions me in.   
  
"You look like you're thinking about someone special. You were in yesterday, right? I had a custom order for you."  
  
Smiling over the fact that she remembers me so well, I follow her to the counter at the back of the store.  
  
"You're right, on both counts. I'm here to pick up the wedding bands for my fiancée and I."  
  
"Well, that certainly is something to be smiling about."  
  
She finds the order and pulls the rings out, opening the small box to reveal the sparkling metal. The rings are perfect, so I pay the second half left after the deposit I gave yesterday and tuck them safely into my bag, heading back out and down to my car. I glance at my watch, knowing Calliope will be on her way to preschool right now with Sofia. She's picking the girl back up at two o'clock, then they’ll go home to get ready and come meet me when I'm done at three.   
  
I cannot wait.

 

  
*

 

  
The day passes quickly enough, all considering. My two surgeries go well, and my patients on the Peds floor are all stable and doing well when I round on them after lunch. Alex lets it slip about the wedding happening later, and I start getting enthusiastic squeals from all the little girls on the floor, and well wishes from all the parents. I'm pretty sure I walk around all day with a giant, stupid grin on my face – but I don’t even care, because that’s how I feel.  
  
Right on time at three o'clock, Callie meets me in the lobby with an equally goofy grin on her face, and a bouncing little girl by her side.   
  
"Wow."  
  
She breathes out the word as I turn around, and her eyes light up as she sweeps them up the length of my body, bringing a faint blush to my cheeks. The dress I'd chosen was a rich, royal blue; a silky material that started in a halter top, and flowed out to a modest a-line skirt just below my knees. It was classy, but not terribly fancy, and it was one of Calliope’s favourite colours on me. I had been nervous about it all morning.   
  
"You look..."  
  
"Mama is  _so_  pretty!"  
  
I grin at Callie as she’s interrupted and redirect my eyes down to the little girl now between us.   
  
"Sof, you stole my line,” Callie laughs and takes a step closer, cupping my cheek to tilt my face back up to her.   
  
"You are stunning."  
  
She captures my lips softly and I sigh into her kiss, sliding a hand along the side of her neck as I deepen it for a brief moment. Pulling back, I let my own eyes sweep over her again. She looks incredible in the emerald green colour she'd chosen.   
  
"So are you. You look beautiful, Calliope."  
  
I look down again then, grinning widely at our daughter all made up in a fancy little dress of her own, a sparkly bow adorning the braided crown I'd done this morning.   
  
"And so do you, my little princess!"  
  
I take her hand and twirl her like a ballerina, soft purple tulle swishing around her small form as she giggles happily.  
  
"My girls are the prettiest girls in the world."  
  
"Mommy and I left school yesterday to go shoppin'," she beams up at me, swishing her skirt around some more.  
  
"Sofia!"   
  
I look up with a raised eyebrow as the other woman laughs.  
  
"Secret shopping, remember?"  
  
Sofia gives her an adorable sheepish look.   
  
"Oops."  
  
The look on both their faces just makes me giggle, and I take Sofia's hand, wrapping my other arm loosely around Callie's waist as we head outside.   
  
"It's okay. That's sanctioned skipping of school. It's a special occasion."  
  
I look down as Sofia happily hums in agreement.  
  
"We’re getting married, Mama."  
  
I help her into the car and glance up to catch Callie giving me an adoring look.   
  
"Yes we are."

 

  
*

 

  
Half an hour later we're standing in a small, simple room at the courthouse, Sofia between us attentively watching the justice of the peace as she goes through the lines she's obviously recited many times before.  
  
"Do you, Calliope Torres, take Arizona Robbins to be your lawfully wedded wife?"  
  
"I do."  
  
Callie's reply is immediate and confident, her eyes meeting mine as she smiles warmly. I twine my fingers tighter around hers and I feel my own smile broaden.  
  
"And do you, Arizona Robbins, take Calliope Torres to be your lawfully wedded wife?"  
  
"I do."  
  
The female justice smiles, turning two sets of papers around to face us on the large oak desk.  
  
"If you'd like to exchange any tokens you can do so now, and then you can each sign here."  
  
Callie starts to turn toward the desk, but I stop her with a hand on her forearm, reaching down into my purse on the chair to retrieve the small ring box I'd picked up earlier this morning.  
  
She's visibly surprised, and when I open it, her eyes widen even more as she looks at me.   
  
"I didn't know you..."  
  
I pull out her ring, carefully taking her left hand and sliding it on.   
  
"I did. I love you, Calliope."  
  
The still stunned look on her face is enough to make my heart flutter, and she smiles with delight as she takes the second ring from the box, lifting my hand and gently slipping it over my finger.   
  
"I love you, Arizona. So much."  
  
We take the pens offered in front of us and sign the official paperwork, the justice swapping the copies between us and then turning them to herself and signing both with a hasty scrawl. The court-appointed witness steps over and signs as well, and then the justice takes them back to stamp them with a firm hand.  
  
"With the power invested in me by the State of Washington, I now pronounce you wife and wife."  
  
She smiles widely at us and hands me our copy of the papers.   
  
"Congratulations."  
  
Unable to keep the grin from my face, I step forward and curl my hand around Calliope's neck, kissing her softly. Her lips curl into a smile against mine as she kisses me back, and then I hear a small voice speak up from below.  
  
"What about me?"  
  
Sofia is peering over the desk at the justice, her bouquet of irises clutched tightly in one hand, peeping up after being perfectly behaved and quiet for the last fifteen minutes. The justice smiles a little and leans down, pulling over a piece of letterhead and quickly writing a few sentences across the top. I look over as she draws three lines underneath, turning it to face Sofia and handing her the pen.   
  
"For you, the cutest flower girl to ever enter my court room. Sign your name right here and I declare you and your mommies officially married."  
  
She catches my eye and grins good-naturedly before lowering her voice and directing it at Sofia again.   
  
"This is the  _really_  important part."  
  
She points to the top line, and Callie and I both watch as our daughter sets her flowers down, gripping the pen and very carefully printing her name somewhat crookedly on the paper. The justice nods seriously, then offers the pen in turn to me and Callie, who both sign our names below hers. My wife scoops up the little girl, kissing her cheek and settling her on her hip as the justice stamps the final paper, offering it up to a little grabby hand.   
  
Sofia looks it over studiously and then beams, clutching the paper in both hands.  
  
"Thanks!"  
  
Chuckling softly, the older woman shakes our hands before leaving the room, and the assistant ushers us out as she takes the paperwork to be filed. I tuck our copy carefully into my purse as we make our way out into the expansive lobby, and hear Callie's voice beside me filled with absolute happiness.  
  
"We're married again. This feels...so, so right."  
  
I smile up at her, stopping to wrap my arms around both her and Sofia for a moment, basking in the newfound knowledge that this woman is now one hundred percent, legally mine. A broad smile spreads across her face as she looks at me, and her dark eyes express a myriad of emotions. It may not be the most romantic setting, it may not be glamorous or exciting or fairy tale worthy to some -- but to me? This moment could not be more perfect. This is how the rest of my life begins.   
  
"This is exactly where we're meant to be."

 

  
*

 

  
Since it's still early in the day, and we didn't tell people to start coming to Joe's til around seven, we take the rest of the afternoon to simply spend as a family celebrating our re-marriage. We go out to eat at one of our favourite restaurants, and then take Sofia down to the waterfront to get ice cream from the best little mom and pop shop in Seattle before spending the rest of the afternoon relaxing in the park.   
  
It's funny, how life can change a person. How someone -- or two someones -- can change a person in the best way possible. Six years ago if you'd asked me how I pictured my life, this certainly wouldn't have been it; this wouldn't even have been close. Spending my wedding day in the park watching my child on the swings was not something I would have chosen for myself then.  
  
But today, I can't imagine anything I want more.  
  
We'd taken the blanket from the car to spread out on the grass, and Callie and I are relaxing back, legs stretched out and resting against each others'. I turn my head to look at her and I can't help but let out a soft sigh. The sun is catching her hair at just the right angle, and it shines off the dark, silky strands as they fall gently over her shoulder. Her tanned skin is radiant against the green of her dress, and a content, peaceful smile graces her face as she watches the little girl on the swings in front of us.   
  
"You take my breath away."  
  
The words leave me in a whisper and she looks over, her eyes smiling as they meet mine.   
  
"You are," I lean in, kissing her lightly, "breathtakingly beautiful. I am so in love with you, Mrs. Torres."  
  
She captures my lips in a kiss again, lightly running her tongue along my bottom lip before deepening it for a moment.   
  
"And I am completely in love with you, Mrs. Robbins. My beautiful wife."  
  
I bring my hand up to cup her cheek, resting our foreheads together lightly, and I glance into her eyes before I speak again quietly.  
  
"What about...Mrs. Robbins-Torres?"  
  
Surprise flashes across the brunette's eyes, and she leans up with a slightly curious smile.   
  
"Robbins-Torres?"  
  
"For me," I clarify, glancing forward to watch Sofia for a minute, "I feel like it would just complicate things having a second Dr. Torres...it's confusing enough now with two Shepherds...but," I look back to her, "I want to share a last name with my daughter. And with you."  
  
"I...had no idea you were even thinking about that."  
  
I glance down, tracing my finger along the belt at the waist of her dress.   
  
"I started thinking about it when we were pregnant. I hadn't told you yet, but I was planning on changing it then. So I'd have the same name as my kids."  
  
"I didn't know that baby was going to be a Torres,” she replies softly, “I just thought...I guess I assumed you would want to give it your name."  
  
My eyes meet hers again, and she looks genuinely pleased, if still surprised, at the revelation. I thread my fingers through hers where her hand rests on the blanket and bite my lip a little.   
  
"Of course she was going to be a Torres. And..." I hesitate only briefly, carefully watching for her reaction, "if we have another one...it will be too. And I want to have another one."  
  
Her smile grows then, if that's even possible, and I match it with my own as she leans in to kiss me again.  
  
"Arizona Robbins-Torres, I love the sound of that. All of that."  
  
"I do too."  
  
I murmur as I capture her lips again, trailing the tip of my tongue along hers when she silently grants me entrance. She still tastes vaguely of chocolate ice cream, and combined with the heady taste and scent that is all her, the kiss floods my senses and sets my heart racing in my chest as my fingers slip through silky hair.  
  
I pull back for a breath, my eyes glancing toward Sofia again, and my gaze slowly trails up the length of the other woman's body, taking in every perfect curve that I adore so much. She is so exceptionally beautiful. My wife is stunningly perfect in every way.  
  
"I kind of wish we were alone right now."  
  
The words slip out unexpectedly, and I pause, clearing my throat a little sheepishly as she chuckles.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll be alone tonight with plenty of time to  _honeymoon_. Amelia said she'd take Sofia back to casa Shepherd after the party tonight, for a weekend long sleepover."  
  
"She did?" I grin a little wolfishly, kissing the soft spot just under her jaw, unable to resist, "I must thank her."  
  
"Mmhm, she offered," the other woman tilts her head a bit, "said she hadn't had time to shop for a wedding gift, so this was it."  
  
I laugh softly against her skin, picturing Amelia having that conversation with Callie. It sounds like her. And, I have to admit, giving me some alone time with my new wife is absolutely the perfect present.  
  
"That sounds like the best gift she could give us."

 

  
*

 

  
When we get to the Emerald City a little bit later, a large handful of our friends are already populating the pub -- which Joe was nice enough to privately book for us, knowing the Grey-Sloan crowd would more than bring in a full night of business for him. Someone -- Alex, I'm suspecting -- has brought a small bouquet of balloons that float over the bar with a "JUST MARRIED" sign, and as we walk in we're greeted with a rousing chorus of congratulations and well wishes.  
  
"Look, Sofia, Joe even has a special table just for you and Zola!"  
  
I crouch down next to her, pointing to the large booth in the corner with a sign perched on top, "Reserved for Sofia and Zola", and what appears to be a small stack of crayons and colouring books, bowls of snacks, and some glasses of a bright pink drink with little umbrellas perched on top. I smile as she races over, spotting her friend already there, and I know that has to be my mother's doing as I see her and dad settled at the table just beside.  
  
"Did your dad make it in?"  
  
I turn back to Callie just as the door to the bar opens, and the elder Torres in question makes his way in with a broad smile.  
  
"Calliope! Arizona!"  
  
He swiftly makes his way over and envelopes us each in a warm hug, kissing his daughter's cheek affectionately.  
  
"My flight was a little delayed but I made it," he takes a step back, grasping each of our hands, "you two look absolutely radiant."  
  
I glance sideways to see Callie beaming proudly, her love for her father showing clearly in her eyes. I'm glad he could make it on such late notice too -- I know how much it means to her to have him with us.  
  
"Thanks, daddy. And thank you for coming."  
  
The older man gives her a patented no-nonsense look and slowly arches an eyebrow.  
  
"I wouldn't be anywhere else, mi amor. I'm just pleased to see you so happy again."  
  
He turns to me and I give him a little smile, despite my reservations that he would still be upset about everything I'd put Callie through the last few years, he doesn’t seem to be angry with me.  
  
"Arizona," he clasps my hands between both of his and his eyes look upon me warmly, "I'm happy to have you back in the family."  
  
Callie slides her arm around my waist and she presses a soft kiss to my cheek as her dad looks on, genuine happiness evident on his face before he looks away to scan the crowd.  
  
"Now, where's my little Sofia?"

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
Alex and Amelia both start off the night by buying us rounds of celebratory shots -- although Amelia's shot glass is filled with water -- and a steady stream of friends continues to fill the pub with the sound of laughter and conversation, voices mingling above the sound of the music that's playing out onto the dance floor. Our parents seem to be settled happily together at a table near the kids, their conversation interspersed with laughter every time I glance over, and as I look around the room from my seat at the bar, all I can see are people having a good time.  
  
It's exactly what we wanted for tonight.  
  
I spot Meredith making her way over to the bar, and I shoot her a grin when she catches my eye and sidles over, motioning to Joe for a refill.  
  
"Congratulations, Callie. You two look really happy tonight."  
  
She perches on the stool next to me and smiles, holding her glass up in salute.  
  
"So cheers to that, right? It's about time."  
  
A laugh makes its way out of my throat and I lift my glass to clink it with hers before taking another sip.  
  
"Seriously. It's nice that neither of us needs to drink and bitch about our partners anymore. We have got it together. For good, this time."  
  
The smaller woman takes another drink, surveying the bar, her eyes drifting over to where Derek and Owen are talking and laughing with Amelia over something.  
  
"You guys are us now, you realize that?"  
  
I draw my attention back to her and glance sideways, raising my eyebrow curiously.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You and Arizona. You're just like me and Derek. Screw it up enough times, and you finally get it right because you're meant to be."  
  
She waves her hand a little, and I consider the fact that she might already be a little tipsy.  
  
"Because you are, you know. You and George were never meant to be. And Hahn was kind of a bitch, but Arizona?" she points her glass in the blonde's direction across the floor, "she's the right one. She's your McDreamy. Except even better cause she's also your person."  
  
My eyes travel across the crowd to find the blonde as well, and I watch as she laughs about something with April, her loose curls bouncing around her face as she picks up her drink from the table. She  _is_  my McDreamy, and my person. She's the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.  
  
"She really is."  
  
"Cristina says congrats, by the way."  
  
I smile at that, taking another sip of my drink as I look sideways again.  
  
"She couldn't have called me herself?"  
  
Meredith just shrugs, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"It's Cristina. I'm lucky she even calls  _me_."  
  
I look up again, laughing softly, and I catch Arizona gazing across the room at me. The blue of her eyes is exceptionally bright tonight, a beautiful contrast to her blonde hair, and her pink lips curve into a smile when she sees me looking back. I think back over Meredith’s words, and remember all the ways over the last six years that we have fought to be together – the ways we’ve both fought for each other, and stood up for each other, and been there for each other even when it seemed like nothing could go right in our lives. I never imagined the woman with the butterflies on her scrub cap would be the love of my life, but she is.

 

  
*

 

  
People come and go throughout the remainder of the evening, offering their congratulations and well wishes, but most of our close friends stay late into the night with us. My dad has tuckered out Sofia and Zola on the dance floor, and they’re cuddled in a sleepy pile on the bench of their booth, Arizona’s mom keeping a watchful eye on them even though they’re dead to the world.  
  
April had surprised us with a wedding cake earlier – a gift from her and Jackson, she said – and the remnants of the delicious dessert sit on a table by the bar underneath the balloons from Alex, and a giant arrangement of flowers from Arizona’s parents.  
  
I smile to myself, my eyes scanning the room. We have the most amazing friends. You never really realize – never think about it -- on a daily basis, but seeing everyone who had come out tonight to celebrate with us, and knowing that they’re happy for us, warms me to my very soul.  
  
The opening beats of a familiar song start playing in the half-empty bar, and Joe must turn it up because the music suddenly gets louder as I feel a hand land gently on my arm. Turning, I see Arizona behind me, a grin plastered on her face as she reaches her hand out for mine.  
  
“Don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me.”  
  
She sings a line along with the lyrics and I laugh, letting her take my hand.  
  
“Arizona, what...”  
  
We haven’t danced together since the plane crash, not once. Even after she was comfortable with herself and her mobility again, it was never something she was willing to join me in doing.  
  
“Shut up and dance with me.”  
  
Her eyes twinkle in the dim lights and she grabs my other hand, tugging me backwards onto the dance floor and pulling me in close against her body, her small hands landing on my hips.  
  
“We were victims of the night, the chemical, physical, kryptonite,” she sings softly under her breath, the words only floating between the two of us, and she keeps her gaze trained on mine as we start to dance, “helpless to the bass and the fading light.”  
  
“Oh, we were bound to get together, bound to get together,” I grin, following along with the song as I dip her slightly.  
  
I hear Alex whistle somewhere off to the side, and I’m aware that our friends are watching us now as the beat of the song surrounds us.  
  
“She took my arm, I don’t know how it happened,” she grabs my hand and spins with me, laughing, “we took the floor and she said...”  
  
“Oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me.”  
  
“I said ‘you’re holding back’.”  
  
“She said ‘shut up and dance with me!’”  
  
We both sing the next line as the chorus reaches its peak, happily moving around the floor.  
  
“This woman is my destiny. She said ‘oh, oh, oh, shut up and dance with me!’”  
  
“Deep in her eyes,” I watch her closely, pulling her close again, “I think I see my future.”  
  
“I realize, this is my last chance.”  
  
I grab her arm and dip her slightly, and she smiles at me as I pull her back into my arms.  
  
“She took my arm, I don’t know how it happened, we took the floor and she said...”  
  
“Oh, don’t you dare look back,” her voice is soft, her hands sliding over my shoulders, “just keep your eyes on me.”  
  
“I said ‘you’re holding back’.”  
  
“She said ‘shut up and dance with me’.”  
  
The blonde’s eyes meet mine again and they’re instantly swimming with emotion. She pulls me close, one hand coming up to gently cradle my cheek as she sings.  
  
“This woman is my destiny.”  
  
And as I gaze into blue depths, as I feel the warmth of her body against mine, I know every word is true. She  _is_  my destiny – she’s given me everything I ever wanted, and everything I ever will. She’s the woman I’m going to dance with for the rest of my life.  
  
“Shut up and dance with me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot easier to picture in my head than it was to get down in words -- but I hope it lived up to expectations, because I had a lot of fun with it. :)
> 
> Also, the song at the end was "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Three months later_ **

  
"Hi Emma, Michael," I smile warmly at the woman in the bed and the anxious looking man by her side as I enter the hospital room of my newest patient, "I'm Dr. Arizona Robbins-Torres, Head of Pediatric and Maternal-Fetal Surgery, and this is Dr. Laura Gillis, our pediatric fellow. I'm going to be in charge of your care while you're here, and Dr. Gillis is a member of my team in training who'll be assisting."  
  
"Hi Dr. Robbins-Torres," the obviously distraught woman musters up a nervous smile as I pull up her chart and hand it to the younger doctor, "is our baby going to be alright?"  
  
I've already extensively reviewed their file and the information that was sent over from Portland, but I wait as Dr. Gillis presents the information listed.  
  
"Emma Matheson, thirty-nine years old, twenty-three weeks pregnant. Mother has been diagnosed with gestational diabetes which is under control. Baby was diagnosed with sacrococcygeal teratoma at sixteen weeks and is recently presenting with fetal hydrops as a result of the SCT. Mother and baby are in stable condition, but fetus started showing signs of distress three days ago so prenatal surgery is recommended to resect the tumour."  
  
"Thank you, Dr. Gillis."  
  
"Our doctor in Portland said this could kill the baby if we don't treat it -- is it really that bad?"  
  
The father, Michael, speaks up from the side of his wife's bed, the worry evident in his voice.  
  
"He said you were one of the best surgeons we could come to on the west coast. I googled you though, you haven't been doing this that long."  
  
"Michael," the woman looks up at him, imploring, "I'm sure she knows what she's doing."  
  
"I do, I can assure you," I speak reassuringly, stepping over to the bed and carefully examining the patient's stomach, feeling for movement from the baby, "I completed my training under one of the country's most esteemed surgeons and was certified for fetal surgery a year ago, but I also have nearly ten years of pediatric surgery under my belt, including a  _lot_  of time working with very tiny preemies. You're in the right place to get the best care for your baby, and your wife, Mr. Matheson."  
  
He sighs, running a hand back through his hair, and drops back into the chair by the bedside.  
  
"This is just all a little overwhelming. I mean, she's not even born yet. You're not supposed to have to worry this much before they're even born."  
  
"I can understand. It's never easy having to go through this, trust me."  
  
Satisfied with the subtle movements I can feel, meaning the baby is still able to move freely, I glance at the monitors that Emma is hooked up to, checking both their stats.  
  
"It's our first baby."  
  
She watches me nervously, rubbing a hand over her stomach in small circles.  
  
"I know I'm probably too old...my doctor told me pregnancy at thirty-nine could be risky, but...Michael and I only met two years ago. And I was so focused on my career before that..."  
  
Making a few notes on the chart and handing it back to Gillis, I glance up reassuringly again.  
  
"Pregnancy can carry risks all the time; plenty of women have healthy children at thirty-nine, Emma. SCT can develop no matter the age of the mother."  
  
"You can fix it though?"  
  
I slip my hands into the pockets of my lab coat and nod confidently.  
  
"I'm confident that I can. I'm not going to mislead you, fetal hydrops is a very serious condition, but your baby just started showing symptoms in the last few days, so we've caught it early. During surgery tomorrow, I'm going to remove the tumour on your baby's back and then drain the fluids that are building up around her lungs, heart, and abdomen. There are risks, of course, but your scans show that I should have good margins if I get in there right away."  
  
She nods a little, fiddling with the edge of the hospital bed sheet. I hate this part -- as much as I'm excellent with nervous parents, it's never easy to see a mother worried over their child. Having been there myself, I know it's the hardest thing a person can ever deal with.  
  
"What are the risks again?"  
  
I let out a soft breath, going over the complications again in my head.  
  
"The biggest complication I worry about with SCT is possible brain damage, if the fluid buildup has spread beyond the baby's abdomen and starts to surround the brain as well. There's also the possibility that the tumour is more difficult to resect than shown on scans, which could lead to injuring the spinal cord."  
  
She nods a little again, a hand coming up to quickly wipe under her eye.  
  
"And, with any intrauterine surgery, there is always the risk of placental abruption -- which would mean the baby would need to be delivered prematurely."  
  
I see the father's eyes snap up to look at me, and he speaks up again abruptly.  
  
"Does that happen often? Babies can't...she can't survive that, she's way too small, isn't she? She needs to stay in there no matter what you do."  
  
Dr. Gillis starts to answer him, but I touch her arm to cut her off.  
  
"If we need to deliver, which would only be an extreme circumstance, she would be what we call a micro-preemie. And chances of survival at that age are anywhere from 15-40%. That's obviously not ideal, but we do have one of the best neonatal ICUs in the country."  
  
"Shit," he rubs a broad hand over his face, his voice strained, "that's not even 50%. Maybe we should wait on the surgery..."  
  
I round the bed and softly place a hand on the man's shoulder, waiting for him to look up at me.  
  
"Waiting on the surgery isn't an option; she won't make it more than a few weeks unless we operate now. The chances we have to deliver are  _very_  low."  
  
"But if you do, so are her chances of surviving..." Emma rubs her belly protectively, letting out a heavy sigh.  
  
I reach over and rest my hand over her swollen stomach again, my voice softening as I look up at her.  
  
"My daughter was born at twenty-three weeks in this hospital, and she had two major surgeries before she was even two weeks old. But she is a healthy, energetic four-year-old now."  
  
Both parents look up at me, and I take Emma's hand and squeeze it gently.  
  
"Your baby is in excellent hands, I promise you. We have an incredible team here, and I will do everything in my power to make sure she's okay."  
  
"Sophie," she squeezes back, letting out a small sigh, "we're going to name her Sophie."  
  
I smile at them both again, thoughts of my own baby girl instantly flashing through my mind.  
  
"I'll take good care of Sophie for you."

 

  
*

 

  
We discuss a few more details about tomorrow's surgery, and get all the necessary paperwork taken care of, and then I leave Emma with instructions to get some rest and head out with Dr. Gillis to check on some of our other patients.  
  
"I didn't know your daughter was a preemie."  
  
I nod a little, slipping my hands into the pockets of my lab coat again.  
  
"My wife and I were in a car accident when she was pregnant. It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced -- I can understand where they're coming from."  
  
"I can only imagine. This is going to be a tricky one tomorrow," Laura falls in step beside me, pulling up our roster on her tablet, "pregnant at thirty-nine though, they kind of had to expect some issues."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with being pregnant at thirty-nine. The majority of women don't start having kids until their thirties now."  
  
"I know," she scrolls as we walk, "but there's a difference between thirties, and almost forty. I mean, the gestational diabetes is the least of the problems she could have had. There's preeclampsia, placenta previa, a much higher risk of stillbirth...not to mention the genetic risks to the baby. All their genetic tests are clear but there could have been any number of other developmental issues besides the SCT."  
  
The younger doctor isn't wrong -- nearly forty  _is_  old to be having a child, especially a first child. It's not impossible though, and plenty of older woman do carry a pregnancy with no problems at all. I've seen plenty of perfectly healthy babies born to women thirty-five and up.  
  
"Do you think we need to worry about peripartum cardiomyopathy with her? She doesn't have a history of heart problems, but it's known to present in women forty and over after birth...and especially with the surgery --"  
  
I'll be turning thirty-nine next month. It doesn't feel that old.  
  
"Dr. Gillis -- " I cut her off, probably a little more abruptly than necessary, stopping outside our next patient's room, "update on Andrea Hoffman please?"  
  
Maybe it should, though.

 

  
*

 

  
Callie and I need to talk about the baby thing. I get in line at the cafeteria around lunch time, rubbing my temple a bit where a steady headache has been building for the last hour.  
  
Are we ready to talk about the baby thing again though? I'd told her what I wanted the day we got married, and we'd briefly discussed it once in the three months since then - but it had really only been a quick exchange of words over breakfast, confirming that we were both still on board with the idea and just giving it a vague "sometime" timeline. Both of our careers are in overdrive right now, and there's no sign of that changing anytime soon.  
  
I grab a salad, the freshest and healthiest thing available from the cafeteria offerings, and pay for it before scanning the room for a table.  
  
"Hey!"   
  
I feel a hand on my lower back and turn my head, immediately smiling at the familiar voice.  
  
"Hey, are you on lunch?"  
  
Callie leans in and drops a light kiss on my lips, rubbing my back lightly before she nods.  
  
"Yep. Let me grab something, I'll come find you."  
  
She heads to the back of the small line that formed behind me, and I quickly scan the busy room for an empty table, spotting one along the back wall. I make my way around crowded tables and slide into the empty seat, letting out a sigh of relief at finally being off my feet for five minutes. The morning had been good, all things considered, but busy, and I'm just physically and mentally exhausted.  
  
And I can't stop thinking about all the things Laura was saying earlier. I mean, I'm a pediatric surgeon and a fetal surgeon -- I know the risks. I know the statistics. Am I being crazy for still wanting this?  
  
A few minutes later the brunette doctor drops into the seat across from me, setting her tray down and pushing what smells suspiciously like a vanilla latte over in front of me.  
  
"I got you a coffee, you look like you could use it. And how did you not see they had butterscotch pudding today? It's your favourite."  
  
She sets a bowl of the creamy dessert between us, giving me an incredulous look.  
  
"Lucky for you, I am willing to share."  
  
I just laugh softly, picking up the paper cup and taking a long drink of the coffee.  
  
"Oh...I did need that. I love you."  
  
I take another drink before setting it down, letting out a content sigh. She knows me well.  
  
"Long morning?" Callie smiles sympathetically, taking a bite of her pasta as I just watch her, "I was with Alex earlier, and he mentioned that Peds was a little nuts today. And you got two new prenatal cases in?"  
  
Opening up my salad, I nod, stabbing a bite with the rather ineffective plastic fork.  
  
"Yeah there's a lot going on up there today, and I have some reports due, too. And one of my mothers will be in for surgery first thing tomorrow morning --it's not going to be an easy one. Sacrococcygeal teratoma and fetal hydrops at twenty-three weeks."  
  
Callie looks up for a moment and pauses.  
  
"Can you even..."  
  
"I don't know," I answer truthfully, poking at another bite of salad, "I had one case of hydrops with Herman, but the baby was at thirty-two weeks and was a lot more developed. And even then, it was pretty much a guessing game. Survival rates are only twenty percent."  
  
"If anyone can pull it off, Arizona, it's you."  
  
"I know. I just feel for the poor mother -- the poor parents. It's her first kid. And she's so, so excited."  
  
"Yeah," she glances down at her plate and then up again, giving me a small half smile, "we know what that's like, don't we."  
  
I return her smile, letting out a soft sigh.  
  
"We sure do."  
  
"I thought about it a lot when you started your fellowship though..." she watches me, "it kind of makes you even more uniquely qualified. You can really understand what these patients are going through."  
  
"I think that's partly why I wanted to do it so much. Because of Sofia."  
  
I poke at my salad a little more, taking a small bite. What if I got pregnant and something happened to the baby? I could easily miscarry again...or the baby could develop health problems along the way...could we handle that again? Would Callie and I  _survive_  something like that again?  
  
"Hey."  
  
Blinking a little, my thoughts interrupted, I glance up again at the other woman.  
  
"Are you ok? Something's bothering you."  
  
I give her a small smile, shaking my head.  
  
"I'm fine, honest. Just thinking about this case. Their baby's name is Sophie...it just hit close to home, that's all."  
  
The brunette doctor studies me for a minute, silently contemplating my words.  
  
"Arizona...you're sure? You'd tell me if there was something else, right?"  
  
I reach over with my fork and steal a bite of her pasta, giving her another smile. Now just isn't the time to talk about this.  
  
"Of course, Calliope. Now tell me about your morning."

 

  
*

 

  
I listen to the phone ring five times before Nicole Herman picks up, but when I hear her answer I actually don't know why I'm really calling.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, it's Arizona."  
  
"Robbins," the woman on the other end of the phone sounds pleasantly surprised, "good to hear from you."  
  
"It's Robbins-Torres, now, remember? You missed the big party."  
  
I'd invited Nicole to come to our wedding celebration -- I had actually really hoped she'd be able to make it -- but it had been too last minute at the time for her to arrange the trip. I'd seen her at the hospital once since then though, for a follow-up with Amelia, and I knew she was doing well learning how to live without her eyesight.  
  
"That's too long. Maybe I'll call you R.T. Like E.T., but less alien."  
  
Rolling my eyes with a smile, I settle onto the couch in the attendings' lounge, tucking the phone between my ear and shoulder.  
  
"Well thanks for not calling me an alien, I think."  
  
"How's life in Seattle these days? Had any interesting surgeries lately? I still feel so deprived sometimes."  
  
"Callie and I want to have another baby."  
  
No point beating around the bush. I'd spontaneously decided to give my mentor a call after spending most of the day becoming increasingly worried. To anyone else, she would probably be the last person to ask for advice, but I know if nothing else, she won't mince words.  
  
"And you're telling me this...why exactly? I suppose your wife does make fairly cute progeny."  
  
"Callie can't have kids anymore, she had..." I shake my head a little, "long story. But I'd be the one having it."  
  
There's a slight pause, and I can almost see the raised eyebrow of the other woman.  
  
"R.T., are you calling me because you have pregnancy jitters? Because you know I'm really not the best person for that. You couldn't have paid me to carry a child. I do not have the mommy gene."  
  
"Not jitters, just...am I crazy, Nicole? I know you're not a fertility specialist, but I'm almost thirty-nine years old...and I've never given birth before. I know scientifically speaking I'm  _not_  too old but I also know that statistically the risks are dramatically increased at my age, especially for a first pregnancy. At this point I would be close to forty before the baby was born, even if we start trying tomorrow...and that's even if I manage to get pregnant. I mean is it crazy to think I can do this? "  
  
"Slow down," she interrupts my ramble, her voice calm, "you do realize that pregnancy even at forty is not that uncommon anymore, right?"  
  
"I know it's not, but that doesn't mean it's a great idea. I mean, would we just be asking for trouble?"  
  
There's a slight pause as I let out a breath, and I rub my temple again, headache still dully throbbing in the background.  
  
"Listen," the other woman begins after a minute, "you're a maternal-fetal surgeon, Arizona, so you know this information as well as I do."  
  
When I don't reply, she continues.  
  
"Let's be honest -- no, pregnancy at thirty-nine is not ideal, modern medicine or not. We know that. _But_ , the success rates are also still much higher than the non-success rates. And from what I know at least, you're a very healthy, fit individual. I mean my god, you eat a stupid salad every day from that cafeteria. Unless there's a family history you should worry about, you'd more than likely be fine. Look at some of the patients we saw -- some of them were older, yes, but the majority of them were in their twenties, the prime baby-making years. And things still went wrong. You can't solely use your age to predict that something will."  
  
"I miscarried our last baby though. I was three months pregnant."  
  
Seemingly not phased by the confession, or just knowing me enough to know that I don't want to wallow in it, Nicole continues.  
  
"That doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again. Actually, statistically speaking, there's an eighty-five percent chance it won't. Although you should probably get the ball rolling sooner rather than later. I mean, is Callie worried?"  
  
I don't reply immediately, a slight feeling of guilt washing over me at the fact that I haven't yet shared my worries with my wife. As if she knows, Nicole's voice takes on her familiar no-nonsense tone.  
  
"R.T., you need to talk to your wife. You started freaking out and called me instead of her, didn't you?"  
  
"I don't want her to worry. I don't want to make  _her_  freak out. She wants this so badly; we both do."  
  
"If I had one guess, what would  _actually_  make her freak out is you not sharing things with her, and acting weird and avoiding conversation. You know, given your history for bottling up feelings to the point of combustion. Honestly, you two."  
  
Well, she's probably got a point there.  
  
"Just talk to her, Arizona. And if you come to the conclusion that you're too worried about it, then you explore other options. It's simple."  
  
I suppose that's fair enough reasoning -- I mean, we do have other options if I can't get pregnant, or if we decide it's too risky. We could go back to the surrogate plan, we could adopt, we could still find a way to have another baby. I've been freaking out about it since this morning, but Nicole has injected a little bit of logic that I need to slow down and think about.   
  
"I'll talk to her," I reply, letting out a breath and nodding to myself in confirmation, "Let me tell you about this SCT case I have for tomorrow though..."

 

  
*

 

  
Later on that afternoon, Callie texted me that she'd be stuck at the hospital into the evening -- a collision on the highway had brought in a couple patients needing ortho attention and probably surgery. I hadn't been paged to the ER, so after checking in that I wasn't needed I picked up Sofia on time and headed home with her.   
  
We'd made supper and taken a walk to the park near the house, the little girl telling me all about her day at school. She'd started her second year of preschool last month, and was so excited about being one of the "bigger" kids now -- despite of course the fact that physically she was still one of the smallest.   
  
Next year she'd be starting actual kindergarten, a thought that both made me indescribably proud and also absolutely terrified me. How had our baby grown up so much? I really wanted to give her a sibling before she got much older; I wanted them to be close like Tim and I had been. We'd only been two years apart, but five wouldn't be too bad. They might not be best friends growing up with that age difference, but as adults they would be close enough to be. Callie and her half-sister had a six year difference between them, and although Aria barely spoke to her anymore, Callie had said they were close once they'd grown out of the teenage years and she was no longer just the annoying little sister.   
  
I just want Sofia to have somebody. If something happened to Callie and I -- when we grow old eventually -- I want her to have family.  
  
The thought of my daughter with a little sister or brother brings a smile to my face, and I look down to where she's now snuggled against me along the length of the couch, almost completely asleep. Post-bath time cuddles had won me over an hour previously, and we'd both laid down on the couch with one of her favourite books while we waited for Callie to come home. I'm still laying on my back now and the small girl is draped on top of me, her head pillowed on my chest, her breathing slowed to the telltale rhythm of sleep. I smooth my fingers through her dark hair, the thick, silky strands so much like Calliope's. She's going to grow up to be such a heartbreaker.   
  
I'm going to need to keep a brick handy.   
  
The low rumble of a car in the driveway catches my ear, alerting me to my wife's arrival home. I glance at the clock over on the mantle -- it's not quite nine o'clock yet, although it feels much later. The front door opens and shuts after a few minutes, the lock quietly clicking into place, and she peeks her head into the living room a moment later, a broad smile crossing her face.   
  
"What's she still doing up?"  
  
"Shh," I smile, looking down at the sleeping child, my hand rubbing softly across her back, "she's asleep. We were having a cuddle session waiting for you to come home."  
  
Callie pulls her phone out, snapping a few pictures of us before she comes over to sit on the edge of the couch.   
  
"You two are adorable."  
  
She leans in, pressing a kiss to Sofia's cheek before dropping one lightly on my lips as well.   
  
"Mm, I know. How are your crash victims?"  
  
The brunette stifles a small yawn behind her hand before dropping it to rest lazily on my thigh.   
  
"Good. Dislocated knee and a pretty badly shattered tibia, but the surgeries went well. They should both be fine."  
  
"Good. I saved you some supper if you're hungry, I can go warm it up."  
  
She smiles, leaning in to kiss me again, and I happily return the sentiment.   
  
"Have I mentioned how much I love coming home to you? I managed to grab some food earlier, but I could go for a glass of wine."  
  
"That I can do, too."  
  
I peek down at Sofia's face, seeing that she's still fast asleep, and I motion to the other woman.   
  
"Why don't you get little miss into bed, and I'll get the wine. There's something I want to talk to you about, too."  
  
Callie shoots me a curious look, her eyes tinged with a touch of concern as she gets up, gently scooping the little girl into her arms.   
  
"Everything alright?"  
  
Climbing up, my back slightly protesting the change in movement, I nod, answering truthfully.  
  
"Everything's fine. Just something we need to talk about."  
  
I kiss her cheek softly, smiling.  
  
"I'll get the wine. See you in a few minutes."  
  
Callie heads off toward the bedrooms and I head to the kitchen, pulling out the bottle of wine we'd opened the other night and getting some glasses down from the cupboard. I take my time, contemplating the conversation I'm about to initiate, and by the time I return to the living room the brunette is sitting on the couch again, one leg tucked under her and an anxious look on her face.   
  
"It's nothing bad, Calliope."  
  
I speak softly, setting our glasses down and smoothing my hand along her cheek as she looks up at me.  
  
"I knew something was bothering you earlier though. Why didn't you say something?"  
  
Settling down on the couch, I shift to sit so I can face her.   
  
"I want to talk about us having a baby."  
  
Her eyes blink in surprise, but a smile tugs at her lips almost immediately.   
  
"That's not bad at all."  
  
"I..."  
  
I trail off, unsure about where to start, but my slight hesitation doesn't go unnoticed by my wife. Her face falls, and she tilts her head a little as she looks at me.   
  
"You're having second thoughts, aren't you? You don't want to do it anymore."  
  
"Callie, no," I reach over and grab her hand, "I want to do this. You have no idea how much I want another child with you."  
  
The tension that had sprung into her body dissipates somewhat, but she still has a concerned look in her eyes.   
  
"But...?"  
  
I shake my head, letting out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.   
  
"No buts, honestly. I've just been thinking a lot today...and I think if we want to have another, we need to start thinking about it now. Like,  _right_  now. I know we've only been back together for three months, but all I can think about is the fact that I'm not getting any younger."  
  
Her face shifts into a look that's slightly confused.   
  
"Well, ok we've only been married again for three months but we've been back together for almost ten...and you're not old, Arizona. You're only thirty-eight."  
  
"I'll be thirty-nine next  _month_. It's just, it's getting old to be having children. Physically, that is."  
  
Callie's eyes survey me with a look that's still both a little confused and concerned before she speaks again.   
  
"Where is all this coming from all of a sudden?"  
  
I rub my temple, letting out another sigh. I really don't know if I'm just being the crazy one right now or not.   
  
"That SCT case I have tomorrow. The mother is thirty-nine and it's her first kid."  
  
"Right...but SCT is rare, even I know that."  
  
"It's not that, it's just...when we were going over the case this morning, Gillis kept talking about all the things that can go wrong with a pregnancy in your late thirties. How she should have expected issues with it because of her age...and she's not wrong. Gestational diabetes, placenta previa, preeclampsia...I mean and that's just for the mother. There's the genetic risks for the baby too; higher rates of Down's syndrome and other developmental issues, higher rate of premature birth, of stillbirth or miscarriage. All of which started increasing when I hit thirty-five, let alone thirty-eight or thirty-nine -- "  
  
"Whoa, whoa," Callie cuts me off mid-ramble with a hand on my thigh, "hold on. I understand that all those things are true, but that doesn't mean any of them are going to happen. Lots of people only have kids in their late thirties now. I mean Grey is thirty-seven and we just found out she's expecting again."  
  
"I know, but...I mean, they didn't expect that. They didn't plan it. Are we just playing Russian roulette by actually deliberately getting pregnant now? I mean, is it crazy to take those risks?"  
  
She pauses for a moment, her eyes trained on mine, and I fight the urge to let my nervousness get the better of me and make me look away.   
  
"I want another baby, Callie. God, I never thought I'd be hearing myself say I wanted a child, let alone a  _second_  one. But I'm terrified. I am terrified that we'll get pregnant and I'll lose it again. And now I'm worried that if I do manage to stay pregnant, something will happen later on. To the baby, or to me. And I can't even think about...thinking about what it was like when Sofia was born and we didn't know what was going to happen to her...I don't know if I can do that again."  
  
I bring a hand up to rub my face, sighing tiredly into it.   
  
The couch shifts a bit, and I feel Callie slide over closer, wrapping her arms around me as she pulls me into her body. I uncover my face, leaning my weight into her, and just let my head rest against her shoulder.   
  
"Statistically speaking, things are in our favour. But there's just that chance..."  
  
"Arizona."  
  
Callie's voice cuts me off again, and it's like a warm blanket wrapping around me.   
  
"Sweetie, there's always a chance. Whether you're thirty-nine or twenty-three, or even whether we use a surrogate. There's always a chance something can happen."  
  
Silence surrounds us for a minute before she speaks softly again.   
  
"I'm not invalidating your fear. I'm scared too, if I'm honest. Losing our baby was one of the worst things that's ever happened to me."  
  
I glance up as her voice wavers a bit, and see a slight sheen gathering in her eyes. The urge to speak comes over me before I think twice about it.  
  
"I called her Sara, you know. It's silly...I know it is, because I was only three months pregnant so it was barely anything yet...we didn't know if it was a girl."  
  
"You had a feeling though."  
  
She looks down at me, brushing some hair back from my face.   
  
"I did," I shrug halfheartedly, "so I kept calling her Sara, in my head."  
  
"I think that was a beautiful name for her."  
  
I feel her lips against my forehead pressing a soft kiss to my skin before she speaks again.   
  
"If you don't want to carry this baby, that's okay, Arizona. It really is. We can always revisit the surrogate plan...or we could look into adopting, too."  
  
I think back to when Callie was pregnant, to the moment when I realized how excited I was to have a miniature version of her in my arms. I know it's something that she's dreamed about for years with me.   
  
"I...want to have our baby. I just, I guess everything today just had me freaking out a little bit."  
  
I sit up a bit, and Callie threads her fingers through mine reassuringly.   
  
"And that's okay. You're allowed to freak out -- I mean trust me, I am the queen of freaking out."  
  
That gets a soft laugh out of me, and she raises her eyebrows with a smile.   
  
"But we can freak out together. I'm glad you told me what you thinking."  
  
"I kind of want to start trying right away."  
  
I hold my breath for a second, meeting her eyes. I'm not sure if we're entirely ready for this yet, but it feels  _right._  
  
"You do? Like,  _right_  away?"  
  
"Yeah, I don't want to wait any longer. Do you?"  
  
She holds my gaze, her eyes taking on a thoughtful expression, and she hesitates ever so slightly. Just enough that it's noticeable.   
  
She's the one who was so desperate for a baby before...but have the tables turned now? Is  _she_  having second thoughts about the whole thing? Or does she not think we're ready yet? It feels like a million things run through my head instantaneously in the second that she pauses, and I start to wonder if I've brought all this up too soon. Maybe she thinks we're still too fragile.   
  
But we're not; I don't think we are. We're stronger than ever. We both want this, and we're ready for it.  
  
...right?

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a disclaimer that I am in no way a doctor, so all my medical knowledge throughout this story is coming from Doctor Google and what I've seen on TV. I hope I'm keeping it as realistic as possible!

**_Callie_ **

  
I'm a little taken aback if I'm honest, despite the conversation we just spent the last hour having. Arizona wants to have a baby _now_. Part of me thinks it's a little bit insane to jump into this so soon but another part, a bigger part, I think, is about to explode with excitement.  
  
"Callie?"  
  
It's only when I hear her questioning voice again -- her tone soft and a little apprehensive -- that I snap out of my thoughts and let a grin overtake my face.   
  
"Yes!"  
  
Arizona's brow furrows a bit, and she leans back.  
  
"Wait, no. I mean yes I want to have a baby! I don't want to wait either."  
  
She grins immediately then, her expression changing into one of happiness as her eyes dart back to my face.  
  
"Really?"  
  
I grasp her hands between us, threading my fingers with her smaller ones.  
  
"Really, Arizona. Let's start making a baby."

 

  
*

 

  
"I can _not_ be late to this appointment, Edwards. Are you good here?"  
  
I pull back from the surgical table, glancing up at the clock. The surgery was finished just in time, as I'd planned it, and all that was left was closing the guy up -- something which I was confident the resident could handle on her own. Edwards had only been on my service a handful of times over the last few months, but I have to say she showed a lot of promise with orthopedics. With surgery in general.  
  
"I'm good, more than. We literally just gave this guy back the use of his arm. It was freakin' _crushed_. Now he's like...iron man. Titanium man."  
  
The young doctor prepares what she'll need to complete the sutures, gathering tools from the scrub nurse beside her.  
  
"Pretty awesome, right? You ever think about going into ortho, Edwards? You showed some real skills in here today."  
  
I carefully pull my gloves off and dispose of them in the bin by the door to the scrub room.  
  
"You should give it some thought. Page me if you need anything, otherwise keep me updated once he's in recovery."  
  
She barely glances up, already focused on the task at hand, but I see her nod.  
  
"You got it."  
  
I scrub out and exit the OR, pulling off my cap as I head down the hall towards the elevators. Arizona and I have an appointment with the new fertility specialist on staff -- well, Arizona does, but we both wanted to be there. Nicole Herman had been the one to put a bug in the board's ear about expanding the maternal-fetal program, and part of that plan had been the addition to the ob-gyn department of one of the west coast's best fertility specialists. Dr. Jacqueline Neale had come at the recommendation of both Addison and her friend Naomi, herself a fertility doctor in Los Angeles, so we'd decided to visit her this time instead of the private clinic we'd used previously. On the one hand, it brought our personal business into the hospital, but on the other hand, it certainly made things a lot easier.  
  
I head up to the fifth floor, where things are noticeably quieter and less chaotic than the surgical floors, and I find Arizona waiting outside the new set of offices, pacing just slightly along the length of the hall.  
  
"Hey, I’m here.”  
  
I step up behind the smaller woman and gently slide my hands over her waist, effectively stopping her movement as she turns to face me.  
  
“I’m nervous,” she looks up at me, giving me a small smile, “I’m not even hormonal yet and I’m crazy, aren’t I?”  
  
I return her smile and drop a quick kiss on her lips, tasting the freshly applied coconut lip balm that I love so much.  
  
“You’re not crazy. But it’s going to be fine.”  
  
We’d made the decision to try for another baby just over two weeks ago, but given that we worked at the hospital and Addison had given her friend a call, it hadn’t taken us long to get in for an appointment. My wife had been happy about that, because she was still worried about the age factor, but I sometimes wondered if it was also happening a little bit fast for her.  
  
The door behind us opens, and an attractive, middle aged brunette steps out into the hall.  
  
“Arizona? Callie?”  
  
She smiles warmly, extending her hand and shaking each of ours.  
  
“Good to see you again, Arizona. And Callie, nice meeting you outside of the board room. Come on in."  
  
She leads us into her office and motions to the chairs in front of her desk, slipping behind it easily as we settle down. I’d really only met the woman when we hired her and seen her in passing since, but she seems nice, and professional at first glance. Addison assured me she's a wonderful doctor to work with.  
  
“So,” she smiles, pulling over a file from the corner of her desk, “you two are looking at expanding your family. You must be excited.”  
  
I glance over and see Arizona smile, and she looks slightly more relaxed now that we're in here. She’d met with Dr. Neale a few days ago just to have some tests done, and I know she immediately felt comfortable with the other woman.  
  
“We are,” she replies, “we really can’t wait.”  
  
“Well,” the doctor flips open the file in front of her, “you’ll be happy to hear, Arizona, that all the tests we ran the other day came back with good results. Your pap test was normal, blood work was normal, and the STD and Rubella tests all came back negative. The x-ray panel also showed that your fallopian tubes are both open and looking healthy, so there are definitely no obvious underlying fertility issues. You’re in excellent health overall, so as far as I can see, this should be a relatively easy process for you.”  
  
I hear Arizona let out a slight sigh of relief, and I reach over to slip my hand around hers.  
  
“Now,” she looks at the blonde directly, “I know you’re concerned about your age, and the fact that you did miscarry an earlier pregnancy.”  
  
Arizona nods slightly before replying.  
  
“Just given my profession, I know the risks – I just worry that something could go wrong again.”  
  
Dr. Neale smiles a little sympathetically.  
  
“I can understand that worry. A miscarriage is never something to take lightly – it’s not something a woman forgets. But given your profession, you should also know that it’s most often a completely random occurrence, and the chance of experiencing a repeat miscarriage is still fairly low, even in your age bracket. My only recommendation would be that you do choose a different sperm donor, since that’s an option for you, because there is a rare chance there was a genetic incompatibility at play.”  
  
“What about other risks at this age?" I voice the question I know has my wife worried the most, “realistically, how concerned should we be about issues arising with the baby? Or with Arizona?”  
  
“Realistically, given the test results and your wife’s overall good health, I don’t feel you need to be any more concerned than you would be normally. We can definitely do prenatal screening if you like – I actually recommend it to all my patients.”  
  
I glance over at Arizona and see her looking at me, and she nods definitively. We made the choice with Sofia to have prenatal tests done, even though Mark voted against it, so I know that’s something we’ll agree on again.  
  
“I think we’d definitely want to have that done.”  
  
“Good,” Dr. Neale nods, making a quick note on the file, “my other biggest recommendation – again, this is something I tell all my patients – is to try and keep your stress about becoming and being pregnant to a minimum throughout this process.”  
  
She looks up at the blonde and smiles reassuringly – she really does have the bedside manner down pat.  
  
“I know that’s not easy, Arizona. It's natural to worry about whether the process is working, or worry when it doesn't work right away, but it’s the best for your health, and your chances of success to try and keep the stress at bay. And your marriage, quite honestly. You can’t let this take over your entire lives.”  
  
I nod a little, understanding what she’s getting at.  
  
“I get what you mean...I think we both do,” I reply, squeezing my wife’s hand, “we have our daughter at home, and we have work, and we have to keep living our lives without obsessing over this.”  
  
“Exactly. I’ve found that you’re much more likely to be successful in getting pregnant when you don’t let the idea consume you. Your body works best in a state of relaxation.”  
  
Arizona laughs a little, softly, and she lets out a breath.  
  
“I’ll try.”  
  
“You should also maintain a healthy sex life throughout the process; again, the more relaxed and stress-free Arizona’s body is, the more receptive it will be.”  
  
Unable to help the grin that tugs at my lips, I glance sideways to see Arizona laugh again.  
  
“That won’t be a problem.”  
  
“So,” Arizona clears her throat a little, holding back her smile and turning back to the doctor, “can we get started right away?”  
  
Dr. Neale nods, pulling a prescription pad from her drawer.  
  
“Absolutely. We actually have perfect timing here, as you’re about ten days from ovulation in your cycle. You know the drill, obviously – I’ll prescribe you some drugs to help stimulate egg production, and you’ll need to monitor your cycle with the home ovulation tests.”  
  
“Right. Ten days of turning into a hormonal mess.”  
  
I grin, lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles.  
  
“Don’t worry, this time I’m prepared, honey.”  
  
Dr. Neale chuckles lightly, handing Arizona the prescription paper, along with the card and contact info of the donor bank she recommended.  
  
“Make a date, and go to the donor bank to look at your options. It's a bit of short notice, but you two seem eager to get going so we want to be ready – your insemination could be anywhere from seven to ten days from today. The minute your home tests show that you're ovulating, you want to get in here the same day."  
  
Just now realizing what date we are, I turn to the blonde and quirk a smile.  
  
“You could get knocked up on your birthday. I better cancel the surprise party.”  
  
She narrows her eyes slightly, an amused smile tugging at the corners of her lips, and I’m glad to see she’s not nearly as tense as she was when we first came in.  
  
“I see from your file that you actually got pregnant on your first round last time,” Dr. Neale speaks up again, and we turn back to face her, “but you should know that’s fairly unusual. Don’t be surprised if this takes a few tries.”  
  
“I know. We know,” Arizona glances at me and nods, “we don’t expect anything to happen immediately.”  
  
She smiles at us, closing Arizona’s file and getting up to come around the desk.  
  
“Good. I look forward to getting started then.”

 

  
*

 

  
“So...” I glance sideways as we leave Dr. Neale’s office, barely containing the grin that wants to spread across my face, “you could be pregnant next month. In two weeks even.”  
  
Arizona gives me a brilliant smile and she reaches for my hand, threading our fingers as we wait for the elevator to run down to the pharmacy on the ground floor.  
  
“That...would actually be kind of insane.”  
  
She laughs as the door opens, tugging me over the threshold.  
  
“I can’t even imagine it yet. I’m so relieved everything seems okay in there.”  
  
I grin, hitting the button and backing her against the wall of the empty space, my hands carefully cradling her back against the rail on the wall. She lets out a surprised sound and I capture her lips, kissing her with a passion I can barely contain whenever I’m around her.  
  
“I love you so much.”  
  
I murmur the words between kisses, one hand sliding up her back to tangle in her loose, blonde hair. Her lips still taste faintly of coconut, and as she tilts her head slightly the scent of her perfume reaches me and I press a kiss to the line of her jaw, breathing deeply.  
  
“God, and you always smell so amazing.”  
  
The elevator dings and she kisses me lightly once more, pushing me back as the doors open. I glance over again and see her lick her lips ever so slightly before she straightens her scrub top, stepping out of the enclosed space.   
  
Cruel, that’s what that is. I should have stopped the damn elevator.   
  
"When are you off tonight?"   
  
She looks back as I follow her out, posing the question with a cute tilt of her head and glancing at me from under her lashes.  
  
"Technically, any time now," I smile slowly, "I want to check on my patient from earlier, make sure Edwards is doing alright, but then I'm free."  
  
"You know, Sofia hasn't seen Uncle Alex in an awfully long time..." she draws the words out, a thoughtful, flirty look crossing her face again, "maybe he'd like to take her to supper tonight. And you could spend the night helping me... _relax_."  
  
The hall is relatively empty, so I sidle up closer to the blonde and run my finger along the neckline of her top, skin barely grazing skin.  
  
"The doctor _did_ say that was important."  
  
She leans up, pressing a warm kiss just below my ear, and her voice lowers to a husky pitch that sends a shiver down my spine.  
  
" _Very_ important."   
  
She pulls back -- her super-magic smile flashing across her face and dimples on full display -- and takes a step backward in the direction of the pharmacy.  
  
"Go check on your patient, Calliope. I'm going to pick up my meds and go find my good friend Alex."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
Alex is actually off tonight, and Jo is stuck at work, so he happily agrees to spend some time with his honorary niece and promises to give her a fun-filled evening while we "get our freak on".   
  
I'd tried to claim we just wanted a night off, but it's Alex. He knows me well enough to see right through that excuse.  
  
I procure my prescription from the pharmacy and then stop by daycare to tell Sofia about the change in plans for the evening, giving her a kiss goodnight in case she's asleep by the time Alex brings her home later. Dr. Neale's words of reassurance earlier and my positive test results had put me in a much better mood than I started out with this morning; and while I know I'm still going to be worried when the actual time comes, for now I'm feeling pretty optimistic.  
  
Optimistic and happy. Feelings that are no longer a struggle for me.  
  
I head to the locker room to get changed, and within the hour I meet Calliope back upstairs in the lobby, ready to leave for the night. She smiles as I approach, extending her hand to me, and I link our fingers as we head outside and leave work behind.  
  
"I haven't stopped thinking about you for the last hour," she kisses my cheek as she opens the car door for me, her body pressing dangerously close to mine, "I can't wait to get you home."  
  
I settle inside and wait for her, watching the leather jacket hug her curves as she climbs into the driver's side.  
  
"What have you been thinking about?"  
  
"Lots of things."  
  
A momentary beat of silence passes between us as she starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot, turning in the direction of home.  
  
"Tell me."  
  
The brunette glances over quickly again, slightly surprised, but I see the corners of her mouth twitch upward into a slow smile before she speaks again.  
  
"Well...I kept thinking about how I couldn't wait to kiss you again, for one. When you give me that flirty little smile, it's all I can do not to grab you and kiss you right then and there."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"It can be a problem. Especially when you give me that look during board meetings like you did a few weeks ago. And I just _know_ you'll taste like that coconut lip balm you always wear."  
  
I lick my lips unconsciously and smile a little, enjoying where this is going already.  
  
"Tell me more."  
  
"I kept thinking about how hot you looked when we left the house this morning," she glances over, her eyes noticeably dipping to my cleavage before looking back to the road, "and how you'd look when I stripped that top off you. Because I really love the red bra you've got on."  
  
I look over, eyes roaming over her face.  
  
"Mm, do you?"  
  
"So much so that I'm tempted to let you leave it on when we get home. The red panties too. But," her voice drops to a husky octave, "I'm _more_ tempted by what's underneath. All that soft, warm skin. I want my mouth on every inch of you."  
  
The timbre of her voice sends a shiver through my body, and I can feel the slight heat gathering between my thighs already. The woman holds a power over me that I don't even think she realizes.  
  
"I want to kiss that spot just below your right breast; that spot that always drives you crazy. Spend some time there."  
  
She pulls into our driveway and parks in front of the garage, turning off the car.  
  
"And the one," she unbuckles her seat belt and reaches over, trailing the tip of her finger under the hem of my blouse and along the waist of the low-rise jeans I'm wearing, "right here."  
  
I suck in a quick breath as her fingertip teases a sensitive spot on the left side of my pelvis, arousal pulsing through me immediately.  
  
"That gets me _that_ reaction."  
  
Her fingertips slip just below the waist of my jeans, tracing a teasing pattern over the red panties underneath, and I grasp her wrist quickly, meeting her eyes.  
  
"House. Now."

 

  
*

 

  
It's a good thing we live in a nice neighbourhood and both have at least a _little_ sense of propriety, or else we would have been making out against the side of the car like a couple of teenagers. As it is, we barely make it inside the front door -- because as Callie fumbles the keys into the lock I can't stop myself from brushing her hair aside and pressing hot, wet kisses along the warm skin of her neck, savouring the delicate taste of her on my lips.  
  
We are definitely repeating the newlywed stage of our lives. And I have zero complaints.  
  
The taller woman turns the tables on me once we step inside though, pressing me back against the closed door as she slides the lock into place. Her hands seem like they're everywhere at once; roaming over my hips and pushing under my blouse to skirt across the bare skin of my abdomen, sliding up my sides to squeeze my breasts before they cup my cheeks and she kisses me fervently, her lips and tongue hot and needy against my own.  
  
No words are exchanged when we break apart minutes later, and I tilt my head as she trails wet kisses along the line of my jaw, her fingers slipping into my hair and tugging as she grasps at handfuls of it. Her lips move to my neck, lavishing attention over my pulse point and along my throat, her tongue darting out to trace over heated skin. I grasp at her shoulders then, a low groan escaping my body as it responds to her touch, and the need to feel more becomes almost overwhelming.  
  
"Calliope..."  
  
I manage to utter her name, the syllables rolling off my lips with a gasp, and it's apparently all the brunette needs because a second later she scoops me into her arms and heads toward the bedroom -- that act alone something that heightens my arousal tenfold. Being married to an orthopedic goddess has its perks.  
  
She sits me on the bed and true to her word makes quick work of removing my shirt, dropping it behind her on the floor as her gaze drops to the red, lace adorned bra. I watch as she bites her lip a little, as if thinking over her next move, but then she nudges me back and slides her hands down my stomach, her long, talented fingers popping open the button and zipper on my jeans and then pulling them slowly down my hips.  
  
She tugs them free off my ankles and drops them on the floor with the shirt, her hands running up my legs as she places a teasing kiss along my inner thigh.  
  
It took me so long to realize that Callie didn’t see me any differently without my leg; to understand that the metal and plastic and computer chips were irrelevant to her, the prosthesis simply an extension of my body and nothing more. She smooths her warm palms over my hips, her hands slipping under my thighs and not even noticing though when they touch something other than skin. She easily lifts me and shifts me back on the bed, and I let my fingers slip through the tangle of dark hair falling over me.  
  
"So hot."  
  
The murmured words against my belly button send a delicious shiver down my body, and I tug slightly, coaxing the brunette to meet my eyes.  
  
"Calliope. Take off your clothes."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
The blonde's request is an easy one to fill, and I quickly divest myself of clothing and climb back onto the bed, hovering over her perfect, scantily clad body. She runs her hands over me, heightening my every nerve ending with her touch, but I find that all I can do for a minute is gaze down at her, my heart beating wildly in my chest.  
  
Because my god, she's gorgeous.   
  
It still takes me by surprise sometimes; takes my breath away when I look at her laying underneath me or undressing before me. I love the pale freckles that dot the skin along her collarbone, and the way her blonde hair curls freely around her shoulders, messy now from making out in the hall and splaying across the pillow beneath her. I love the way she flushes ever so slightly when I gaze at her, even after all these years, and the way her skin feels under my fingers and my lips -- softer than the finest silk in the world.  
  
I love the small scar on her collarbone, the remnant of a childhood scrape with her brother, and the one on her forearm earned from a teenage collision with her bike. There's the pale, slightly raised line along her lower abdomen from where she lost her appendix at age nine, and a small jagged mark over the left side of her waist left by a deep wound-- the only other physical reminder left on her body from the plane crash.  
  
She hates it, that one. But I lean down and press a kiss directly over it, lingering for just a moment with my lips on her skin.  
  
I love it. Because she lived, for me. She lived so I could touch her, could kiss her, could breathe her in again, and so we could simply be.  
  
Her back arches off the bed a little and she lets out a breathy sigh, a sound that is absolute music to my ears.  
  
"I'm not relaxed yet."  
  
Her impatience makes me grin, and I look up and quirk an eyebrow at her words. I scoot down on the bed, hooking my fingers into the lacy scrap of underwear and sliding them down her legs, not missing the fact that they're already soaking wet.  
  
"Oh, you'll be relaxed when I'm done with you."  
  
The blonde leans up on her elbows, a slow smile forming on her own lips.  
  
"I hope that's a promise."  
  
I silence her with a bite to the inner thigh and trail my tongue slowly higher through wet folds, savouring the taste and the feel and the warmth of her on my lips. Her head falls back onto the pillows as she lets out a low groan of approval, and she bends her knees to open herself up further as a hand simultaneously tangles in my hair and tugs me close.  
  
A delighted hum leaves my lips, and I can't help a small quip before I give my wife _exactly_ what she wants.  
  
"Doctor's orders, after all."

 


	22. Chapter 22

**_Callie_ **

  
I'm usually awake before Arizona.  
  
Neither of us are morning people, but I usually wake up naturally a little bit before our alarm goes off; and although I sometimes find her bright blue eyes already watching me, more often I find her snuggled up against me, her body contoured to mine in sleep.  
  
I love those brief stretches of morning. Just watching her, listening to the soft, steady breaths as she enjoys her last few precious minutes of sleep.  
  
This morning she’s resting on her side facing me, one arm curled under the pillow and the other draped over my waist, her palm warm against my bare skin where my tank top has ridden up.  
  
I smile, gently brushing a sleep tousled curl back from her forehead – the blonde has always been a touchy sleeper, a cuddler, and it’s one of my absolute favourite things about waking up beside her. It’s not in a clingy way, but simply that she always seems to have some part of her touching some part of me; we usually start out spooned together anyway, but even if we don’t it’s like she automatically migrates closer during the night. Even when we had only just started sleeping together, the first nights that she slept over, I would find her arm or her leg tangled around me, or even just her back pressed up against mine during the night. Erica had been the very opposite – resolutely needing her space the few times we spent the night together – and so had George, even when we were married. And so the Peds surgeon had taken me by surprise, her need for contact something that I immediately loved about her.  
  
It was just a simple act of intimacy, really, but that’s what I loved so much about it. It was different to what I had ever experienced with anyone else. Even after the amputation, when we would go to bed with three feet of space and pillows between us, anytime I woke during the night I would find her fingers tangled with mine, or her arm curling over the barrier to lightly rest against me.  
  
She would remove them quickly in the morning then, and so I learned to sometimes pretend I was still asleep just to have a few more minutes. But even so, the knowledge that unconsciously, in her sleep, she sought out that contact was enough to keep me going. It's the one thing that has never changed over the years, and the one thing I hope never will.  
  
Sometimes now, of course, I wake up to our little girl in bed between us, curled up against either Arizona or myself after a bad dream or during one of Seattle's many storms. Sofia's a snuggler too -- she couldn't not be, with us as parents -- but even with her in the middle, Arizona always finds my hand, or has her arm wrapped protectively around both of us.   
  
Soon, there could be another tiny body snuggling in with us.   
  
The thought makes me smile again, and I softly run my fingers through the silky tresses strewn across the pillow, the smaller woman only sighing contently as she starts to rouse from sleep. I can’t help but wonder if this baby will look like her. If it'll have her piercing blue eyes, or her blonde hair, her adorable dimples. I really hope it does.   
  
The briefest of thoughts flashes through my mind though, and I feel a clutch of tension at my chest. What if her worries aren't unfounded?  
  
Until she'd spoken them out loud a few weeks ago, I had honestly never considered the possibility that there was anything to worry about. And the doctor had reassured us -- Addison, one of my closest friends, had reassured us -- but...somehow, my wife's own fears had taken hold in me as well.   
  
Because I'd already lost her before.   
  
_Twice._  
  
She’d died out there in the woods when her plane went down. For all intents and purposes, for all we knew, they were dead when the search-and-rescue team told us it was now search-and- _recovery._ I can remember the look on Owen's face when he told me, remember the all-consuming grief at the thought that my happy ending had been ripped away from me so soon. Those three days were the most terrifying of my life and the fourth, up until I heard she had actually been found alive, had been the most devastating.   
  
And then she'd come home, but she’d died on that operating table.   
  
Her heart had only stopped for the briefest of moments as they got her into surgery -- but a moment is all it takes sometimes to lose somebody. And again, the paralyzing fear that had gripped my heart had been _unbearable._  
  
“Callie?”  
  
Arizona’s soft, sleepy voice draws me back to the present, and I look down as she pulls herself closer, face nuzzling the crook of my neck before resting back on the pillow.  
  
“Mm, you look too deep in thought for this early in the morning."  
  
A soft sigh escapes my lips and I smile, propping my head on my arm as I smooth a hand down over her stomach, exposed now where she's let the blankets slip down.  
  
"Just thinking about you."  
  
She blinks sleepily, eyes becoming more alert as she looks up at me again. She lifts her hand and lightly touches my cheek, and I press a kiss to her palm as she watches.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah," I reply softly, knowing she can read the undertones in my voice anyway, "just...I love you, you know that?"  
  
"I do," the blonde smiles, her fingers tangling lightly with mine where they rest on her stomach, "I love you too."  
  
My eyes are drawn downward to our hands, and as I gaze at the flat plain of her stomach I can't help the delighted butterflies in my own as I think of how beautiful she'll look when she's pregnant. I had so been looking forward to that the last time, and I so desperately want to experience it now.   
  
"I think we should give this six months."  
  
I look back up to meet my wife's eyes, and see the slight confusion clouding them at my words.  
  
"You want to wait?"  
  
Shaking my head slightly, I tighten my hold on her hand, clarifying my thoughts.  
  
"No, I mean..." I pause slightly, "I think we should try for six months. I know we got lucky the first time, and maybe we will again, who knows, but I think we should give it six cycles and then we should decide on another option."  
  
I finish my sentence quickly, letting out a slightly worried breath.   
  
"Don't be mad."  
  
"Calliope..." she rolls onto her side again to face me, "I'm not mad. And I know it might not happen right away, but I hope it does before then."  
  
She studies me for a minute, reaching up to tuck some hair behind my ear with a gentle touch.  
  
"But at the end of the day, I know we just want another baby. So I'm okay with looking at other options."  
  
I don't know why I thought she would be upset with me, not when our last plan _had_ been a surrogate, and not her -- but I feel my insides relax a little when she agrees with me.  
  
"It's just...I wasn't worried before. Until a few weeks ago. And I know Dr. Neale said we really don't need to be, and I trust her, I do, but I think...there's just only so much I'm willing to put you and your body through, Arizona. I want another kid with you like you wouldn't believe, but I'm not willing to risk _you_ over it. Not physically, not mentally, not at all."  
  
The other woman's eyes soften, a host of emotions passing through them as she remains silent.  
  
"Because I can't lose you again. I _can't_. I can't do it."  
  
"Calliope..."  
  
She murmurs my name, reaching up to cup my cheek as she leans in and kisses me, her lips lingering on mine softly. I press my hand over hers, holding her there, and lean our foreheads together with a gentle sigh as I speak again.  
  
"I just need you to know that you are enough. No matter what, you and Sofia _are_ enough."  
  
Arizona kisses me again softly, pulling back to look me in the eye as she leans on her elbow.  
  
"You're enough for me too. You're my girls. And Callie, whatever happens -- whether we have another daughter, or a son, or get a puppy or none of the above -- you need to know that I am so completely, indescribably happy. I don't need another baby to be happy, I _want_ one because I just cannot get enough of the life we have together. I just want to share that with another child."  
  
I wipe at the corner of my eye a little and I hear the bedroom door opening slowly, Sofia's voice carrying through the space.  
  
"Mommies?"  
  
"Morning, baby, " I smile as she peeks around the door, a grin spreading over her face as she bounds over, "come on up."  
  
She scrambles up onto the foot of the bed and crawls up between us, plopping down with her back against Arizona's front, her head sharing her mama's pillow. Arizona smiles, wrapping her arm around the girl and dropping a kiss on her temple, and Sofia reaches out to play with the loose ends of my hair.  
  
"Is there no school today?"  
  
I laugh softly, booping her small nose with my finger and grinning when she wrinkles it.  
  
"There is school today, miss Sofia. We'll have to get up pretty soon."  
  
"Maaama?"  
  
The girl tilts her head to look back, batting her eyes a little, as if hoping for a different answer from her other parent.  
  
"Sorry, baby, but mommy is right. You have to go to school today."  
  
She grins at me when Sofia wrinkles her nose again, settling back on the pillow, and a soft laugh escapes her throat.  
  
"Who would have thought I'd become the good cop in this family?"  
  
"Seriously," I raise an eyebrow slightly, "you're supposed to be the tough military one. Your dad would be dismayed."  
  
"You-know-who has The _Colonel_ wrapped around her little finger."  
  
I laugh softly -- because it's so true -- and I snuggle over closer to enjoy a few more minutes before we really do have to get up and start our day.  
  
Arizona is right. We want another baby, not because we need more happiness, but because we have so _much_ happiness to share, so much love to give. But no matter what happens, or how it happens, that isn't going to change.   
  
The three of us are amazing. We'll always be amazing.   
  
Four will be incredible.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
"Callie!"  
  
I spot an unmistakable wave of dark hair turn the corner down the hall and I hurry after my wife, calling to get her attention. The last few days have been insane -- a motor accident involving a family of six had been rushed into the ER yesterday, and aside from actually sharing two surgeries yesterday I feel like I've barely had a chance to see her, even at home. We've been home late, back to work early, and our only time together has really just been sleeping and managing to feed and coordinate schedules for Sofia.  
  
"Callie, hey," I round the corner and catch up to her, pulling out my phone to glance at it when it beeps with a message, "I finally have a bit of free time, I'm going to go pick up the books so tonight we can--"  
  
I look up from my phone, pausing when I see Amelia standing with the orthopedic surgeon, tablet in hand, clearly in the middle of something.  
  
The youngest Shepherd quirks a grin, amused at my likely-flustered face as I realize what I was just about to say. We decided we're not going to tell anyone, even friends, right now that we're trying.  
  
"What books?"  
  
Callie looks at me, then back at Amelia quickly.  
  
"The uh, library books. At home. They're overdue and we need to take them back tonight."  
  
"Right," I nod in agreement, "library books."  
  
Amelia gives us a weird look.  
  
"As if you two actually have time to read for pleasure."  
  
"They're Sofia's," I reply quickly -- maybe a little _too_ quickly in hindsight, "we just got her a library card a few weeks ago."  
  
"Riiiight okay, well," she looks at Callie and waves the tablet a little, "as I was saying, our guy has been stable since this morning, so I'm going to run a few post-op tests but you should be able to take him in and finish up with the shoulder."  
  
I watch as the taller woman nods, professional mask back in place.  
  
"Perfect. Let me know if anything changes then."  
  
Amelia smirks a little in my direction.  
  
"You two can take care of your _books_ now, no need to wait for tonight. Pretty sure on-call room three is empty."  
  
She turns on her heel and heads off toward the patient rooms, and I just stare at her retreating form before I burst out laughing.  
  
"Did she just imply that books was a euphemism for sex? Really?"  
  
"Well..." the brunette eyes me, tugging the lapels of my lab coat and pulling me in, "it _could_ be. I have like half an hour."  
  
"Calliope..." I draw her name out, leaning in to press a quick kiss to her lips, "I don't think we have time..."  
  
"Oh, we have time."  
  
She snakes her hand along my waist, brushing her fingers under the hem of my scrub top, my jacket concealing her wandering hand from passersby. The touch is light and barely skims my skin, but it sends a small shiver of desire through my body.  
  
"I really need to go pick up the selection books from the donor bank..." I lick my lips a little at the look she's giving me, "they close at 4:30. We need to choose our guy."  
  
I take a step back from her, forcing myself to break the physical contact, but she grabs my wrist, lifting it to glance at my watch.  
  
"It's 3:15 now. I'll have you out of here by 3:45, I can work with half an hour."  
  
She raises her eyebrow suggestively, a sexy smirk curving her lips upwards, and I know it's a mistake -- I know it is -- but I meet her eyes and then there's no turning back.  
  
I grasp her hand, turning to head into the on-call room just down the hall.  
  
"Half an hour."

 

  
*

 

  
The door is barely shut, lock sliding into place, when two strong arms press me back against it and her hands are all over me – one of them sliding under the front of my scrub top, the other tangling in my hair as she crashes her lips against mine. I kiss her back, a low groan muffling itself against her lips, and I can feel my body instantly reacting, heat flooding my veins with every touch.  
  
She pulls me forward after a minute, kisses increasing in intensity as she guides me backward to the small bed. Her deft fingers work open the tie on my scrub pants and she tugs them down, letting them pool at my feet as she lifts my hips and deposits me on the mattress with a grin.  
  
"Countdown on."  
  
Her hand encircles my wrist again, her thumb rubbing distracting circles against my skin as she shifts over me, leaning in to draw my earlobe between her teeth, her tongue flickering out to tease as she nibbles lightly. Her mouth releases my earlobe quickly though, and she trails her tongue down along my jaw, leaving a path of moisture that cools when the air hits and makes me whimper for more contact.  
  
I grab her hand then and slide it down my front, pulling her to where she knows I need her most. She chuckles softly against my neck before leaning up and kissing me again, and I feel her strong fingers push just under the waist of my underwear, tracing along my heated skin.  
  
“I love when you get demanding," she murmurs, "and to think, you wanted to say no..."  
  
She slides her tongue against mine and I let my fingers get lost in luxurious waves of hair, finding it very difficult to form any coherent response, and not really caring if I do or not.   
  
A gasp leaves my throat though as her hand slides lower, pushing beneath the thin cotton that separates our skin, and she lets one long finger circle over me. My body shudders underneath her, and I instinctively arch upwards seeking more -- _needing_ more. I feel her purr against my ear and she suddenly slides her fingers inside me, sending jolts of electricity through my system and almost immediately bringing me to the edge of release.  
  
She wasn't kidding when she said she could work with half an hour.

 

  
*

 

  
Exactly thirty- _five_ minutes later I slip out of the room, running my fingers through my hair to smooth it back up into a ponytail. Sex with Calliope _always_ means messy hair. The woman is obsessed with having her hands in it, no matter what we're doing.  
  
Which works for me, because I love having it played with.  
  
I glance over my shoulder as she follows me out and throw her a playful smile, stepping back to kiss her cheek.   
  
"I'll see you at home, babe."  
  
The term of endearment slips effortlessly from my lips, even though I almost never use it, and I see Callie's eyes brighten as she smiles. She straightens my necklace, settling the pendant in the middle of my chest, and lets her fingers linger for just a moment.  
  
"See you at home. I'll get supper on my way."  
  
"And don't forget Sofia is going home with the Shepherds, so you don't have to pick her up."  
  
I glance at my watch again and give her one last smile before hurrying off to change out of my scrubs. I'm _just_ going to make it.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I actually get out of work relatively on time -- our patients are all stable, no emergencies come in, and all told it is a surprisingly quiet Friday night around the hospital. I'm grateful, because I have a date with a certain hot blonde who's waiting at home with a book full of sperm donors.  
  
I laugh a little as I get back into the car with our Thai takeout -- there's a sentence I never thought I'd say.  
  
When I get home I can hear the shower on in our bedroom, so I head to the kitchen and get some plates and utensils out, and drop everything off on the coffee table in the living room before I pad down to the bedroom to change.  
  
The door to the ensuite is open and I catch a whiff of cherry blossom body wash as soon as I step into the bedroom, a scent that has always been unmistakably Arizona. It brings a smile to my face as I start changing into more comfortable clothes -- it's a scent that I would never have chosen for myself, but now it's one of my favourites. It's comfort, and desire, and safety all rolled into one. It smells like home.  
  
The water shuts off and a few minutes later Arizona emerges wrapped in a towel, her hair falling damp around her shoulders, as I pull on my favourite old sweats.  
  
"I thought I heard you out here," she smiles, crossing over to the dresser, "did you just get home?"  
  
"Yep. I brought Thai for supper."  
  
I watch unabashedly as the blonde unwraps her towel, using it to give her hair another squeeze dry before she pulls on some pajama shorts and a tank top. She carries the towel back to hang it up, and emerges again with a slight grin on her face.  
  
"Pad Thai and man catalogues. Sounds like a good night to me."  
  
I can't help the laugh that bubbles from my throat as I follow her out, reaching up to trail my hand down her spine.  
  
"Did you seriously just call them _man catalogues_?"  
  
"Well! That's kind of what they are. We're going to pick one and then...order him. And get it delivered, I might add."  
  
She grabs the binders from the hall table and carries them with her into the living room, and I can't suppress another laugh.  
  
"I suppose that's actually true. It's really too bad she doesn't want us to use the last guy again -- he sounded so perfect."  
  
"I know," she sets them down and lowers herself to the floor, leaning back against the couch and stretching her legs under the table, "but I'm sure we'll find someone else good."  
  
She dishes up the food and I settle down beside her, pouring us some wine and opening the first binder on the table between us. It's kind of fun, in a way, browsing through the donor descriptions and reading their stats and bios. We'd spent several evenings the last time debating before finally settling on someone.  
  
"Okay," the blonde picks up a spring roll and looks down at the first page, "who do we have?"  
  
"Caucasian, French/Scottish heritage, 6'2. Brown hair, brown eyes...he's an accountant, so he's gotta be pretty smart."  
  
"Callie, do you want a Latino donor?"  
  
I look up as she speaks, and find her blue eyes curiously watching me.  
  
"I know the last time you said it didn't matter, but wouldn't it be nice if the baby shared some of your heritage too? And Sofia's?"  
  
I set my wine down, considering her question. It's true that the last time I didn't want that to be a deciding factor when we chose our donor, because in all honesty it _didn't_ matter to me -- not if they weren't the best choice overall. But maybe now that we have Sofia we should think about it more.   
  
"I don't know...I mean sure, it'd be nice, but it's not first and foremost in my mind. And honestly? I kind of want the baby to look like you..."  
  
I reach up, brushing my thumb along the corner of her eye.  
  
"I mean, how freaking adorable would a tiny version of you be? I've seen your baby pictures. The blue eyes alone would kill me."  
  
Arizona grins, the eyes in question crinkling happily at the corners.  
  
"It would still look half like me, you know. I mean either way, it's only going to be half me."  
  
"The Latino genes are strong though -- I mean look at Sofia. You'd never guess Mark was her father if you didn't know."  
  
"Oh trust me, the Robbins genes are strong too. Stubborn, one could say. There are almost exclusively blonde haired, blue eyed relatives in my family. And look at your dad -- your grandma was Irish, right? And he ended up getting blue eyes, presumably from her."  
  
"True," I pick up my plate and take a bite of food, contemplating, "okay, let's say Latino donors are in the running, but they still have to be best overall. I'm not going to pick him _just_ for that."  
  
Arizona nods, taking a sip of her wine and flipping to the next page.   
  
"Deal. They have these separated into sections, so we'll look at Caucasian and Latino. Ooh -- this guy sounds pretty good."  
  
I lean closer to read out loud off the page, glancing at the included picture.   
  
"He was a cute baby. English/Norwegian heritage, blonde, green eyes, 6'0. He's an Ivy League grad -- nice."  
  
"And look -- he plays the guitar, he likes art and history. Speaks three languages. He's gotta be smart. And his parents _and_ grandparents are still alive and healthy."   
  
I bite into a spring roll, reading down the page some more.   
  
"Wait, he's a doctor. I don't know if we need to give our kid anymore of the science genes. Poor Sofia is already destined to be a nerd."  
  
The blonde lets out a laugh, pointing her chopsticks in my direction.   
  
"If we were a straight couple, we'd be doing this the old fashioned way and our kid would have double science genes."  
  
"But we're not," I counter, grinning at her, "so we have options."  
  
I flip the page, and she just laughs at me again as we continue on to the next, and the next as we make our way through the catalogue. There really are a lot of good sounding choices -- most of these guys would probably make great babies.   
  
We start in on the Latino section of the binders -- which is noticeably a smaller selection -- and I can't help think about the chances this baby could end up looking like my wife if we choose one of them. I really want a kid that takes after her. But...I think of Sofia, who's already going to have a hard enough time growing up as a minority, and with two mothers. Maybe having an ally in all aspects would be good for her.   
  
"Latino, Mexican and Cuban heritage..." Arizona leans back with her glass, reading, "black hair, hazel eyes, 5'11."  
  
"Hazel eyes? That sounds nice."  
  
I lean back beside her, following as she keeps reading out loud.   
  
"He's a university graduate, PhD, and a professor of art history. Likes reading, art, cooking, and writing. I like the writing bit -- I'd love our kid to get some creativity. Oh! He also plays piano and guitar, _and_ speaks French!"  
  
I grin at her excitement and top up our glasses with the last of the wine.   
  
"He does sound pretty good. Definitely smart."  
  
Leaning in again to look at his baby photo, I have to admit he was a pretty cute looking kid.   
  
"That picture is definitely cute too. What's the health history like?"  
  
"Let's see...nothing for him. No glasses or braces either. Both parents are still alive, and two grandparents...none of them have any hereditary diseases. Dad has diabetes, but it says it only developed in his 50s so not the juvenile type."  
  
I finish reading over her shoulder, suitably impressed with the rest of his profile.   
  
"Okay, let's add him to the strong maybes."  
  
She slips the paper out and adds it to the pile on the table in front of us.   
  
"We've got a lot of those."

 

  
*

 

  
Two hours later we've narrowed it down to two choices -- the hazel eyed Latino professor and a blonde, blue eyed, rock-band-playing engineer.   
  
"Do you really think I'll like being pregnant?"  
  
The question hangs between us for a moment, both because I remember her asking that last time, and because we both know that she... _was_ pregnant, she just never got to experience much of it.   
  
I look sideways and she's watching me, waiting for an answer, a barely detectable nervousness flitting through her eyes.   
  
"You're going to love it."  
  
"Really?"  
  
I smile then, leaning in to kiss her cheek.   
  
"Really. I mean yeah...a lot of it sucks, I'm not going to lie to you, but you got through the first trimester before and you honestly dealt with that part better than I did. And the rest..." I smile, remembering it myself, "it's a pretty great experience."  
  
She smiles warmly, picking up the two remaining pieces of paper and holding them up in front of us.   
  
"So who are we going to choose?"  
  
I look at the papers again, contemplating both baby photos. We can't go wrong either way.   
  
"I really like both of them. I think we should just flip a coin."  
  
"I think we should pick the professor."  
  
Her statement makes me look up again, and I glance over to meet her eyes before she elaborates.   
  
"They both sound great. They're both smart, educated, artistic, and healthy. They're basically equal, right? And given that...I think I'd like to give our baby some of your heritage. I want our kids to be able to share that."  
  
A smile tugs at my lips, and I find her hand in her lap and thread our fingers together. My wife is amazing.   
  
"The professor it is."  
  
She grins at me, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to my lips, and nothing but pure joy is evident in her voice when she speaks again, her breath a whisper against my skin as she rests her head on my shoulder.   
  
"I can't wait."

 


	23. Chapter 23

**_Three weeks later_ **

  
"Callie."  
  
I nudge the sleeping woman's shoulder, tugging the blankets down a bit from where they're bunched against her face. It's a good hour and a half earlier than we normally need to be up, but I'm awake and I'm restless, craving my wife's company.  
  
"Callie, are you awake?"  
  
A barely audible groan sounds from under her curtain of dark hair and she rolls over slowly, blinking up at me.  
  
"I am now. What time is it?"   
  
The room is still dark in the early morning light, with only the light from my bedside lamp illuminating the space, and she looks over at the faint glow of the alarm clock with sleepy eyes.  
  
"It's five," I perch on the edge of the mattress beside her hips, "I thought I heard Sofia, so I got up, but she's still fast asleep and now I'm wide awake."  
  
"I love you, I do, but if you were going to wake me up at least it could have been in a sexy way."  
  
I watch as she stretches her arms above her head, yawning and letting out a heavy sigh. I wasn't going to say anything, not until I had a little more confirmation, but I suddenly can't help the words that tumble out of my mouth.  
  
"I'm late."  
  
Callie's eyes blink up at me again, immediately looking more awake -- the surprise evident in them even in the low glow of the lamp.   
  
" _Late_ , late?"  
  
I smile a little, trailing my hand over her blanket-covered thigh and absently rubbing small circles against her hip.  
  
"Only two days. I don't feel any different though...I don't have any of the other signs. So I'm not sure."  
  
The brunette sits up, a grin tugging at her lips as her eyes flit downward to my stomach for a moment.  
  
"I had zero signs until I realized my period was like a week and a half late. So that doesn't mean anything."  
  
She laughs softly, her hand sliding over to rest delicately on my abdomen.  
  
"Oh my god, Arizona. You could be pregnant right now."  
  
The instant delight in her voice is evident, and I can't help but let my grin match her own. It's crazy to think that this might have worked on the first try -- I had been trying not to hold out hope, and not to let Callie get too excited either, but both were currently proving to be impossible as I watch the look on her face.  
  
"I'll pick up a test as soon as we get to the hospital," I laugh softly, covering her hand with my own, "then we'll know for sure."  
  
Callie reaches down, smoothly releasing my prosthetic and slipping it off, and I watch as she sets it aside against her nightstand. She wraps her arms around my waist and tugs me down, and I laugh again as I topple over her, catching myself with my hands on either side of her head.  
  
"Callie!"  
  
"Come back to bed," she tilts her face up, kissing me softly, "because now I'm definitely too excited to fall back asleep."  
  
I kiss her again, sighing contently at the feel of her soft, warm lips against mine, and the heat of her body as our curves fit perfectly together.  
  
"Mm, and what do you propose we do then, Mrs. Torres?"  
  
Her hand snakes under my top, her palm warm against my skin as she trails it up my side to the swell of my breast. The contact sends a shiver down my spine and I arch into her hand a bit, my lips slowly curving into a smile as she speaks again.  
  
"Well, Mrs. Robbins-Torres, I can think of a few things..."

 

  
*

 

  
An hour and a half later, I exit the shower on still somewhat shaky legs -- not that I'm complaining -- and quickly pull pajamas back on, leaving Callie to make us breakfast while I go wake up Sofia and start to get her ready for the day.   
  
She's awake when I peek into her room, sitting up in bed and flipping through the new book Carlos had sent her a few days prior, and I quietly pad inside and reach around to tickle her ribs.  
  
"Good morning, little miss!"  
  
Her squeals of laughter immediately make me grin, and she squirms away from my hands, burrowing into the bunched up blankets on the bed.  
  
"Mama! No tickles!"  
  
I scoop her into my arms -- noting with a touch of sadness that she's getting a little heavy for that -- and kiss her cheeks, getting a tight hug in response before I set her down again.  
  
"You were so quiet, I had to make sure you were awake!"  
  
The little girl giggles again, wrapping her arms around my thighs for another hug as she looks up.  
  
"I like Abuelo's book! I was reading."  
  
That's a bit of a stretch, because Sofia isn't quite reading yet, but she's constantly pretending that she can, and she's come to memorize a lot of her favourite books in the last few months. She was beyond thrilled to receive a book from her grandfather the other day, and her nose had been buried in the pages ever since. I'd already read it so many times I think I have it memorized too.  
  
"Well, how about we pick an outfit for today, and then go have breakfast? And we can read Abuelo's book again tonight."  
  
"I want to wear purple. With the dots."  
  
I follow her over to her dresser and pull the drawer open, finding the purple polka dot shirt and pulling out some jeans to go with it.  
  
"No, mama -- not  _those_  pants."  
  
She rummages a bit herself, pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans instead and holding them up. Our little fashionista.  
  
"These. And two braids please," she motions to her hair, indicating pigtails.  
  
"You got it, baby."  
  
I lay out her clothes, along with some socks and underwear, and sit on the edge of her bed, motioning her over to stand between my legs. I grab her brush off the nightstand and gently start taming the mass of dark hair so I can get it braided before we go to eat.  
  
"Mama, you know what?"  
  
"What, sweetie?"  
  
She remains still, well acquainted with our morning hair rituals, and I carefully start working on the first french braid.  
  
"Zola is getting another Bailey."  
  
It takes me a minute to clue in, and then I hold back a grin as I realize that she's talking about Meredith's pregnancy. They must have told the kids about it.  
  
"Really? Another Bailey, huh? You mean her mommy is having another baby?"  
  
She shrugs a little as I secure a hair band on the first braid and move to start the second.  
  
"Yah."  
  
"Well, that sounds like it'll be fun. What do you think?"  
  
"Bailey takes our crayons. That's not fun."  
  
I absolutely love the logic of four-year-olds -- everything is so simple and matter of fact, black and white.   
  
"He just wants to play with you. The new baby will want to play someday too, once it gets here."  
  
I finish off her second braid, securing the tie and tugging them gently to plump them up and smooth everything into place. She turns to look at me, brushing small fingers through her bangs a little, and gives me a big, innocent smile.  
  
"No thanks. Can we get a puppy?"

 

  
*

 

  
"So, I guess Meredith told the kids about the baby the other day."  
  
We've just dropped Sofia off at preschool, and Callie pulls onto the main road to head back toward the hospital, glancing my way with a big smile on her face -- a look that she's been giving me since the moment I woke her up this morning.  
  
"Yeah? Well, I mean there's definitely no hiding it anymore, she's almost five months in. Hey, maybe new baby Shepherd and new baby Torres will be BFFs too just like Sofia and Zola."  
  
I smile at that thought, but my mind is drawn back to my brief conversation with our daughter earlier.  
  
"I asked Sof what she thought about Zola having a new baby to play with and she said, and I quote, 'no thanks.' " I pause for a second, "She asked if we could get a puppy instead."  
  
A laugh rings out in the car -- not the reaction I was expecting -- and the brunette glances my way again.  
  
"I mean first of all, definitely no to the puppy, not with our schedules. That's kind of adorable though."  
  
"What if she  _really_  doesn't want a sibling?"  
  
I look over, watching my wife's profile as she pulls into the hospital parking lot. We're lucky -- both our house and the school are a short drive to work, even with morning traffic. Which doesn't make much time for conversation, but certainly makes our lives easier.  
  
"I don't think that's what she meant, Arizona. I mean, how would she even know?"  
  
She parks in one of our reserved spots and turns the car off, turning to face me.  
  
"We'll have to talk to her about it eventually, but I bet she'll love having a little sister or brother."  
  
"I just want her to be happy," my brow furrows a little, "I feel like I owe her that, you know?"  
  
I unbuckle my seat belt and grab my bag, and my hand is on the door when I feel a firm grip on my forearm, pulling me back.  
  
"Arizona."  
  
I sit back, letting out a soft sigh at her tone. I can't help it -- I  _do_  feel like I owe it to our daughter. After everything she's been through already in her short life, I want to do everything in my power to make sure she's happy and stays that way.  
  
"Our daughter is happy," Callie slides her hand down into mine, giving it a squeeze, "have you met her? She is full of life, and laughter, and she is a  _happy_  kid. I mean yeah, the last two years were kind of confusing for her sometimes, but honestly? That's both our faults if anything."  
  
"Mostly mine, I can admit that, Callie."  
  
"No --"  
  
The other woman turns more firmly in her seat to face me, and she waits until I look over to meet her eyes before she speaks again.  
  
"You have got to stop feeling like everything was your fault. I thought we were long past that. I thought we were  _both_  over feeling guilty."  
  
"I am...I'm over feeling guilty about us," I let out a sigh, "it's just Sofia though. I just keep thinking about how she spent some of her formative years in this unstable environment that  _we_  created...I mean those early years are so important...it just wasn't supposed to be that way, not for her. I promised that to myself from the minute I became her mother. I just worry now, you know?"  
  
A small smile forms on Callie's face, and she reaches up to tilt my chin towards her again, forcing me to meet her eyes.  
  
"There has not been a minute -- not a  _minute_  -- in the past four years that you weren't an amazing mom, Arizona. Maybe it didn't always feel that way, but you were. You have nothing to make up for, do you hear me?"  
  
Her voice is soft and earnest, and she traces her thumb lightly along my jaw as she watches me. I think, just maybe, she's actually making me believe it.  
  
"Do you remember after the shooting, when you told me that you weren't cut out to be a mom, but you wanted kids with me anyway?"  
  
I nod, smiling a little as I remember that moment.  
  
"I remember."  
  
"Well you were wrong, you know," her smile grows as she drops her hand, "because I don't think I've  _ever_ met someone who was more cut out to be a mom."  
  
I don't know if it's a combination of the hormone treatments, or the possible pregnancy hormones, or just the look in her eyes as she gazes at me then, but I feel tears start to form and I reach up to quickly wipe them away. A weight that I didn't even realize I'd been carrying around leaves my chest, and I laugh softly, smiling at the amazing woman across from me.  
  
"I just love her so much."  
  
She grins then, wiping her thumb along the corner of my eye to collect a tear.  
  
"I know; I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. So stop worrying that you screwed things up for her, okay? You've done a damn good job so far. We both have."  
  
I lean over the centre console, kissing her softly before I pull back.  
  
"Thank you. I think I needed to hear that."  
  
She smiles, squeezing my arm again before she sits back and grabs her own bag from the floor.  
  
"I'll never let you forget it."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a little extra bounce in my step today as I round on my patients, my thoughts drifting back to Arizona and the fact that she might actually be pregnant right now.  
  
My wife could be  _pregnant_.  
  
Grinning to myself, I make a note on the tablet in my hands. I wonder if she’s had time to snag a test yet from the supply closet in ob-gyn.  
  
“You’re in a good mood today. Is there some awesome surgery I don’t know about yet?”  
  
Edwards grabs the next chart in our pile and offers it up, following with her pack of new interns as we head down to our last patient of the morning. She’d been vying to get on my service more and more over the last few months, and I have to admit the younger doctor had been growing on me – as had the idea that I might finally have a protégé interested in ortho.  
  
“Are you saying I’m not normally in a good mood, Edwards?”  
  
“No! I mean no,” she lowers her voice a bit, “of course not, Dr. Torres. But you seem...extra chipper. I mean I had double the coffee you did and I still don’t have your perk.”  
  
“It’s been a good morning, what can I say.”  
  
I hand the chart back to her and tap a few things on the tablet again, checking the status of my scheduled surgeries for the week. I have no emergency surgeries on the roster, but I definitely have a few good ones I could tempt her with.  
  
“Although...” I glance up, smirking a bit, “now that you mention it, I do have a direct anterior hip replacement this afternoon. On a twenty-five year old.”  
  
The other woman looks up, immediately interested as soon as the words leave my mouth.  
  
“On a twenty-five year old?”  
  
“He had a childhood injury – fall off a horse – that never healed right and has been giving him problems and chronic pain ever since. I’m going to eliminate that pain and have him out of here within the week. Minimally invasive, two small incisions,” I hold my arm out to draw two small lines, demonstrating, “have you ever seen that technique used?”  
  
“I’ve only ever seen a hip replacement done with the full incision, through the full gluteus muscles.”  
  
She looks intrigued, a fact I secretly delight in.  
  
“Yeah, my way is  _way_  better. Cuts down on recovery time by half, and easily has the patient up and walking in a third of the time, which is huge for someone in their twenties especially. I’m one of only a few surgeons in the country who’re willing to do it.”  
  
“I didn’t even know hip surgery could be minimally invasive. How do you even get in there without cutting the entire thing open to get to the joint?”  
  
“I still cut through the muscle, but the cuts are much, much smaller. It’s about knowing exactly where you need to get in, so you can manoeuver the new joint into place without needing to see the entire structure. Cause the replacement joint itself isn’t that big.”  
  
“I’ve never seen one up close,” she muses, eyes alight with her ever-present curiosity, “I’d be really interested in watching...”  
  
Unlike a few residents I’ve worked with before, Edwards’ interest in the speciality seems genuine. I know from the rumour mill that the young doctor has struggled with finding her niche in the last year, and I also know that she’s been good – great – at nearly everything she’s tried. Amelia had nothing but praises for the work she did on Nicole Herman’s case, and that was an extraordinary surgery.  
  
“You want to scrub in?”  
  
“Um, yes!”  
  
She grabs the tablet and taps a few times, immediately adding her name to the schedule with mine.  
  
“Awesome. Thanks, Dr. Torres.”  
  
Smiling, I take the gadget back from the resident and glance at my watch.  
  
“You should go read up on the procedure if you have some time. There’s a couple great journals from the Cleveland Clinic.”  
  
“Absolutely, I will.”  
  
“....after you go change the cast dressing in room 1215.”  
  
I mean I like her, but she’s still my resident. She gets to do the smelly, sweaty cast changes while I go look for my hot, hot-shot surgeon wife and find out if I’m going to be a mom again.  
  
“You got it.”

 

  
*

 

  
I knew Arizona had been in surgery with Alex this morning, and possibly still was, so I wasn’t surprised to see that I hadn’t received a text from her since we’d parted ways in the locker room. I head up in the elevator to the Peds floor to see if anyone has any updates, but when the door opens I’m surprised to see Alex standing in front of me – sandwich in hand as he reads over a chart.  
  
“Alex, hey. I didn’t think you guys would be out of surgery yet.”  
  
The younger man looks up as I step off the elevator, nodding in acknowledgement as he swallows his bite of lunch.  
  
“Torres, hey. Yeah we finished like an hour ago. It was easy in, easy out, lucky kid.”  
  
“Have you seen Arizona?”  
  
He motions with his thumb over his shoulder, pointing vaguely down the hall.  
  
“She had a couple patients to check on, and then she said she was taking a break. On-call room, probably. Or her office. Did you guys have a fight or something?”  
  
He eyes me with what can almost be described as a challenging look – his latent protective streak for the blonde never far from the surface – and raises an eyebrow questioningly.  
  
“No, we didn’t have a fight,” I retort, “why?”  
  
“I dunno,” his face relaxes again, and he shrugs a shoulder, “she was a little snippy when we first started.”  
  
“She’s probably just tired. I’m gonna go see if I can find her.”  
  
Alex gives me a nod and hits the button for the elevator again, now that I’ve made him miss it, and I head down the hall towards the other woman’s office, smiling at a few of the nurses I recognize as I pass. I know if she was taking a break after surgery, chances are she went to her office first. One of the perks of her becoming head of maternal-fetal medicine had been a major upgrade in office space, and she was now at the far end of the fifth floor near the NICU and the nursery. Herman had argued with the chief that it was unreasonable to have expectant mothers come see their doctor in the children’s wing – to have them walk through beds of sick children when the fate of their unborn child was at stake – and so Arizona had gotten a nice corner space that now included a view of the courtyard, and her very own couch.  
  
A nice couch, if I do say so myself. Nice for several reasons.  
  
I knock lightly at the door before trying the handle, and I open it slowly, peeking around into the room. Sure enough, I spot the blonde resting on the couch, one leg tucked under her and some paperwork scattered on the seat beside her, a journal open in her lap as she chews thoughtfully on a pencil.  
  
“Hey,” I smile, stepping into the room and shutting the door again behind me, “Alex said I might find you here.”  
  
She glances up, a small smile grazing her features, and I can’t miss the way her eyes light up a little when she sees me. It’s subtle, but it’s always there – it always was, in hindsight, even during our worst times, but now I adore it so much more. I appreciate it so much more – I appreciate  _her_.  
  
“I just wanted to see you – I know you’ve had a busy morning, and my afternoon is full so we probably won’t cross paths until it’s time to go home,” I cross over to the couch, dropping onto it beside her and pressing a kiss to her cheek before flashing her a grin, “If you need to get work done, I’ll just hover. But did you have a chance to...”  
  
“Callie."  
  
Her voice is soft as she interrupts me, and suddenly I can see the slight shimmer of disappointment colouring her gaze.  
  
"We're not pregnant."  
  
I try to keep the disappointment from my own face, but I know it shows -- or at the very least, I know she can see it, because she can always see what I'm feeling, even if I'm trying to hide it.  
  
"Are you...sure?"  
  
She nods once, brushing back some hair that's fallen out of her ponytail.  
  
"Yeah. I took three tests, all negative. And then after surgery...well," she half shrugs a shoulder, "not late anymore. So that confirmed it."  
  
A beat of silence passes between us, and I shift on the couch, wrapping my arm around her smaller shoulders. She immediately leans into me, a soft sigh escaping her lips.  
  
"I shouldn't have even mentioned it this morning and gotten you excited."  
  
"Hey," I drop a kiss on her forehead as she rests her head on my shoulder, "you were obviously excited this morning. I'm glad you told me."  
  
And it's true -- I am glad she told me, even if it means that now I'm a little disappointed. Because she's disappointed too, and that's not something she should have to feel alone.  
  
"I didn't want to see you disappointed though. I told myself I wouldn't get my hopes up throughout this whole process...and I didn't want you to either. We knew it probably wouldn't happen right away."  
  
She's trying to be logical and detach herself, I know she is. She's got her doctor voice on and she straightens up again, shifting out of my arm. Her eyes tell a different story though, and so I tighten my hold around her, gently pressing my palm to the side of her head to guide her back against me.  
  
"Arizona...you're allowed to be hopeful."  
  
Her eyes flicker up to my face, and I can't help bringing my other hand up to gently cup her cheek.  
  
"I've had my hopes up from the minute we started. And I will, every month until it happens. That's..." I search for words, letting out a soft sigh myself, "that's just part of it."  
  
Blue eyes tear away from mine, and she picks up my hand and plays absently with my fingers for a minute before she speaks.  
  
“It feels silly to be this disappointed right off the bat. I mean, I’m a doctor.”  
  
“Doctors are allowed to feel disappointed too, sweetie. Even world-class, kickass baby doctors.”  
  
She laughs softly, leaning up to look at me again.  
  
“Now you’re just trying to make me feel better.”  
  
“I’m not! Have you googled yourself lately?”  
  
A blonde eyebrow rises slightly, and I feel a sheepish look creep onto my face as I realize what I just implied.  
  
“…no. Have you?”  
  
“I was curious. I heard Dr. Gillis say something the other day and I was bored so I decided to take a look. There are articles calling you the next  _Addison Montgomery_. One even called you the ‘extraordinary successor’ to Nicole Herman, who’s ‘predicted to be a game-changer’ in the field of fetal surgery. So yeah,” I grin proudly at her, “my wife is a world-class, kickass surgeon. I mean, I already knew that, but..."  
  
A faint blush colours her cheeks, but she wears a look of pride at my words. Her eyes are still tinged with the slightest bit of sadness, but I know that we're both going to be just fine.  
  
“And this is going to happen for us, Arizona.”  
  
I take her hand again, threading our fingers together as she looks up to meet my eyes.  
  
“In a few weeks, we’ll try again. It’ll be…what? December third or fourth. That’s not too long.”  
  
She squeezes my hand, curling her fingers around mine, and gives me a smile.  
  
“Not too long, no.”  
  
“Hey, and maybe…” I lift our hands and kiss her knuckles softly, “you’ll be pregnant for Christmas. That would be the best gift ever."  
  
“Family dinner tonight?" she asks after a short pause, "I should be done on time. I'll pick up Sofia at daycare.”  
  
The blonde gives me a genuine smile, her eyes sparkling at me again, and a familiar, warm feeling of happiness spreads through my body. As long as I have her, as long as we're a family, everything will be alright.   
  
“I should be too,” I reply, leaning in to kiss her, “it’s a date.”

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a little longer than usual for this update, because I'll admit life has somewhat been beating me down and I hit a bit of a creative block. But, hopefully now I've got my inspiration back, and you all enjoy the next bit of this story! Also, it feels a little strange to be writing about Christmas in the middle of June, but...the timeline is what it is. :)

**_Arizona_ **

  
I don't really notice anything until I'm out shopping with Sofia the week before Christmas, and I lift the little girl up to help her add our donation to the pile for Toy Mountain, the local holiday charity for kids. She wraps her arms around my neck and presses her body to mine, and...my boobs are distinctly tender under her weight.  
  
And not in a had-rough-and-dirty-sex-last-night kind of way either, but in a way that's suddenly all too familiar. Because I've never experienced sore breasts before my period -- I've always been one of the lucky women who had next to zero pre-menstrual symptoms. So this? This is unusual. And it sends a surge of hope through my chest although a brief flicker in the back of my mind knows that it probably shouldn't.  
  
I know it's still unlikely -- I know it usually takes four or five tries for this to work -- but if I want anything for Christmas, this is it. I'm just so ready.  _We're_  so ready.  
  
"Mama, look!"  
  
Sofia tugs at my hand, exclaiming excitedly as she points up ahead, and I look up, pulled from my thoughts for a moment back to the bustle of the shopping centre. The mall's North Pole village is straight up ahead, and although we came to visit Santa already last weekend, she pulls me toward it with an excited squeal.  
  
"We still have to finish shopping, Sof."  
  
I laugh as she waves at the elves, a look of delight on her face, and I run my hand over her hair to smooth it down.  
  
"How about we get a hot chocolate," I point toward the coffee shop nearby that's decked itself out as part of the village, "and we can watch the elves work for a bit?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
I follow her over to the café and keep an eye on her while I order drinks and she peers over the fake fence into the wintery wonderland, and once hot chocolates are in my hands, I usher her toward one of the small tables and help her onto a chair.  
  
"Careful now, okay? It's hot."  
  
"Mama, I know, it's okay."  
  
She takes the cup carefully, leaning in to blow over the surface of the hot liquid, and I just watch her for a moment in quiet contemplation. I'm amazed sometimes at how grown-up she is -- she's still very much a little girl, but sometimes there are just these moments where she sounds so mature, and acts like such a little adult person. She's smart for her age, there's no doubt about that, and while I'm immensely proud of her...a part of me also just never wants her to grow up. I never realized what parents meant when they said 'they grow up too fast' before I was one.  
  
"So are you excited for grandma and grandpa to get here? Just two more days!"  
  
At the mention of my parents, who are coming to stay for a few days over Christmas, her eyes light up and she immediately grins.   
  
"Yeah! They're gonna bring gifts. And grandma's gonna make cookies, and grandpa's gonna bring me a house for the birds. He said he was makin' it, remember?!"  
  
I can't help but return her grin -- her excitement is infectious -- and I carefully take a sip of my own hot chocolate before setting it down to wrap my hands around it.  
  
"And you and mommy both don't got to work for Christmas!"  
  
"Don't  _have_  to," I correct gently, "and I'm pretty excited about that too."  
  
Callie and I had lucked out this year, and neither of us were working or even on call for both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I'm not sure how we had managed to swing it without even trying, but it was certainly a treat for the whole family.  
  
"Mama?"  
  
Sofia speaks up again after a few sips of her drink, a thoughtful expression now on her young face.  
  
"Megan said she has two grandpas and two grandmas. She said she's gonna visit them all. I have a grandpa, a grandma, and an abuelo. Do I have another grandma too?"  
  
Her question stuns me for a moment, although her inquisitiveness is completely innocent and logical. It occurs to me that it's not something we've ever addressed...because it's just never come up. Callie's mom had only met Sofia once, when she was a few months old at our wedding, but she'd barely stayed for two days and she had refused to even hold her granddaughter the entire time. Since then, we'd had no contact at all with the older woman except for the phone call Callie had shared while we'd been divorced. But even then, it hadn't sounded like she'd expressed an interest in seeing Sofia.  
  
"Some people just have three grandparents, that's all," I answer somewhat cautiously, "some people only have two, even. Or none at all."  
  
She ponders my answer for a minute, looking over to watch the elves as they putter about inside Santa's village, and I can't help wonder what's going on in that little mind of hers.  
  
"Is mommy's mama dead? Zola only has two but that's cause her other ones are dead."  
  
She asks the question with a matter-of-fact tone to her voice and a complete childhood innocence, her big, dark eyes simply curious as they look up at me. She's the child of two doctors, and all our friends are doctors, so death isn't something that phases her -- it's something she's aware of, that she's been exposed to, whether we like it or not. So for her to ask that isn't completely out of the blue, but...I have no idea how to respond to it.  
  
I can't tell her that Callie's mom is  _dead_ , can I? Something about that doesn't seem right, even though I think sometimes Callie feels like she is. And I can't very well explain to our four-year-old the real reasons her grandmother all but refuses to acknowledge her existence...because nothing about that situation is right either, and I'd like to shield my child for at least a  _little_  longer from the asshattery of the homophobic world.  
  
She's still just watching me though, eyes questioning as she picks up her mug with both hands and carefully takes another sip. I have to tell her something.  
  
"No, baby...mommy's mama isn't dead. But," I pause slightly, choosing my words, "she doesn't get along very well with me or mommy, so that's why she doesn't come visit with abuelo."  
  
"Oh."  
  
She doesn't seem especially disappointed by my answer, or even confused -- but I can tell she's mulling it over in her own four-year-old way. Her eyes have a depth to them much like Calliope's, and I can read her almost as well as her mother when I watch them. I sense that this is something we're going to need to talk about again, and probably soon.  
  
Seemingly unfazed for the moment though, she sets her now-empty mug down and licks her lips with a smile. I reach over to wipe a smudge of chocolate off the corner of her mouth, and it earns me a delighted giggle.  
  
"Can we get Zola a gift too?"

 

  
*

 

  
We finish our shopping within the next hour, and I bundle our bags into the car and help Sofia get buckled in before we head off to stop at the grocery store. Today was Sofia's first day of holidays from preschool, and although I'm working for the next few days, I was glad to have today off to spend with her -- it's nice being able to hang out and take our time with our errands; just spend some mommy-daughter time together without being in a rush to get somewhere. My parents are arriving the day after tomorrow, and then it's only three days after that til Christmas. I actually haven't spent Christmas with my parents in years, and although the house is going to be crowded, I'm really looking forward to it. Callie is too -- she loves the holidays, and I know nothing makes her happier than a house full of her family.  
  
It's the first Christmas in awhile that I'm actually...happy, too. We all are, and it's certainly more than I had ever dared hope for this time last year.  
  
Our daughter  _loves_  grocery shopping -- clearly having caught the foodie bug from her birth mother -- so our next stop takes longer than it really needs to as she peruses everything and anything throughout the store. It doesn't bother me, because we have time, but eventually we gather what we need and head back toward the cash registers at the front, ready to take off. Hopefully in time to beat the start of rush hour traffic coming out of downtown, and then we'll be able to get all our presents wrapped before Callie comes home from work.  
  
As we pass the pharmacy aisle though, I pause slightly, halting the shopping cart in front of me. Debating quickly with myself, I make a sudden turn and head down the aisle, glancing around to see if they have pregnancy tests. When I find the display, I grab two boxes of the early-detection variety -- four tests in total -- and drop them into the cart beside the bananas.  
  
It can't hurt, right? And that little hopeful feeling is still lingering in the back of my mind.  
  
If I'm not pregnant...I just won't tell Callie until after the holidays. And if I am -- I smile a little to myself as we head to the checkout -- I have the best gift ever.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
"Dad, I just don't know if it's a great idea. Why don't you just come up here to visit?"  
  
I cradle my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I leave the attendings' locker room, searching in my purse for my keys as I make my way to the elevator to go home. I hadn't been expecting to hear from my dad, since we usually talk every Sunday, and I certainly hadn't been expecting him to ask us to come visit.  
  
"Mija, wouldn't it be nice for Sofia to see where you grew up? And you've never even brought Arizona here. I told you, your mother is going to visit your Aunt Rita until the second week of February, there's no reason you and Arizona can't come down for a few days. Escape the Seattle weather!"  
  
Jaw tensing a little at the mention of my mother, I step out of the elevator on the ground floor and head toward the doors, keeping my voice low until I'm outside.  
  
"Yeah, and how will my  _mother_  feel if she finds out I brought my lesbian wife and my bastard daughter to stay in her house? I'm sure she'd just be thrilled about that. You'd probably have to get the priest in to cleanse the place afterwards. She'd want to burn the sheets from whatever bedroom we stayed in."  
  
"Calliope."  
  
My father's voice comes down the line then, stern but laced with a touch of softness -- and I know I'm being harsh, I know I am. She's still his wife, and I know he loves her despite their differences when it comes to me, it's just hard to say anything nice about the woman these days...not after what she said the last time we talked.  
  
"Daddy, I want to see you, I do," a heavy sigh leaves me as I unlock the car, "but I don't want to put Sofia in a position where she could get hurt. She's had enough trauma in her life already."  
  
"Just think about it, mija. I promise your mother won't be around, and it will just be the four of us. You deserve a little holiday. And...I think Aria wants to see you."  
  
Now that gives me pause, and I turn the car back off and sit up straighter in my seat. My sister and I have spoken a handful of times over the last five years -- exchanged a few emails, texts, birthday cards and the like -- but it's been short and stilted if anything, and she's never expressed a true acceptance of my relationship with Arizona. After the initial period of cutting me off, she somewhat came around...but I don't think she's entirely comfortable with it.  
  
"Aria wants to see me? Why hasn't she contacted me then? She knows my phone number."  
  
"Because you know how close she is with your mother. I think she's been hesitant to harm that relationship...but, she's been talking about you more since I visited this summer. Asking me about you, and Sofia. And Arizona, even."  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"Just consider it, that's all I ask."  
  
I start the car again, nodding a little to myself.  
  
"I'll think about it. I've got to go, Arizona and Sofia will be waiting at home with supper...but I'll talk to you soon, ok?"  
  
"I love you, mija. Give my love to the girls."  
  
"I will. Love you too."

 

  
*

 

  
As I drive the short distance home from the hospital, I contemplate my dad's request for us to come visit him in Miami. I know he'll come here if I ask him to, but I also get what he's saying about bringing Sofia down there -- eventually, my daughter will be curious about where I grew up. She'll have a project in school, or she'll see some of my old pictures and be old enough to realize they aren't from Seattle.   
  
And we'd taken her down to San Diego when Arizona's parents still lived in the family home -- she was probably too young to remember, but we had. And now that they live in northern California we've taken her there a few times as well. I don't  _not_  want to, but...I'm just afraid my mother will somehow end up being there. Or she'll  _know_ , and she'll say something or do something and make me miserable again.  
  
I scoff lightly at myself as I park in the driveway, looking up at the lights glowing from the windows of our house. I shouldn't be scared of my mother. Or the woman who used to be my mother, anyway.  
  
The warmth of home beckons to me so I head inside, toeing off my shoes at the door and making my through the house to the kitchen. I can hear Arizona and Sofia talking, imitating voices from her latest Disney favourite, Aladdin, and my mood is instantly lifted as I round the corner and see my girls at the table -- Sofia colouring, and Arizona poring over some old research notebooks that Nicole Herman had sent her last week.  
  
"Mama, do it again."  
  
Without looking up, Arizona's lips pull into a grin, and in her best genie voice she recites the line from the movie.  
  
"Ten thooousand years will give you  _such_  a crick in the neck!"  
  
Sofia giggles and I cross the kitchen, my arrival finally capturing their attention.  
  
"I can help with that," I drop a kiss on the little girl's head and sidle up behind my wife, smoothing my hands up under her hair to rub at her neck.  
  
My ministrations instantly earn me a grateful hum of pleasure, and I keep massaging her muscles gently, leaning down to press a light kiss to her cheek as well.  
  
"Did you guys have a good day shopping?"  
  
"Yah," Sofia resumes her colouring, intent on whatever it is she's scribbling out, "we got gifts for grandma and grandpa and Zola and Aunt 'Melia and Uncle Alex, and mama got a gift for you."  
  
I grin slightly, raising an eyebrow as I look down at the blonde.  
  
"Oh? She did, did she?"  
  
The small, dark head lifts again, and she gives me a grin, holding her finger up to her lips.  
  
"It's a secret. Then we had hot chocolates and went to the food store and saw the cheese lady."  
  
Somewhere along the way, our daughter had become best friends with the cheese manager at our local grocery store. She always had to stop and look at the giant display of cheeses they carried, marveling at the wheels and wedges and poking the "squishy" kinds. The manager at the counter was somewhat taken with her, and usually offered her a new sample every week -- pretty sure she was going to grow up to be a chef at this point. Or a cheesemonger.  
  
"Sounds like a great day, mija. I'm glad you two had fun."  
  
I smooth my hands down around Arizona's collarbone as she jots another note on the papers in front of her, my thumb absently tracing circles against the soft skin there. I only realize a few minutes of silence have passed when the blonde looks up again and speaks, pulling me from my thoughts.  
  
"Hey, sweetie," she speaks softly, blue eyes meeting mine, "everything okay?"  
  
I look down, smiling at her beautiful, long lashes when she blinks briefly. Her face has been scrubbed of any makeup already, and she just looks...radiant.  
  
"I like when you call me that."  
  
An involuntary smile pulls at my lips as she looks momentarily confused by my reply.  
  
"Sweetie?"  
  
"Yeah," I lean down, lightly dropping a kiss on her lips, "I like it. You never used to call me that."  
  
Her soft laugh rings out musically, and she covers one of my hands with her own.  
  
"I guess I didn't. Never really was one for pet names or nicknames."  
  
"Don't I know it. I still remember the look of utter disdain you gave me when we first started dating and I tried calling you Ari once."  
  
"I did not give you a look of  _disdain!_ "  
  
"Oh you so did! You looked completely insulted. You hate when people shorten your name."  
  
She wrinkles her nose ever so slightly.  
  
"Well, Calliope, my father gave me this name for a reason, you know. It wasn't called the USS  _Ari_."  
  
I laugh a little, letting my arms wrap loosely around her neck as I lean down to rest my chin on her shoulder.  
  
"Uh huh. It's okay, cause shortly after you looked at me with disdain you looked at me with sexy eyes and invited me to dance -- irritating you kinda worked in my favour."  
  
"Mm, you never tried the nickname again, though."  
  
I place a kiss against the soft skin below her ear before nibbling just lightly at her earlobe, and I feel the slight shudder of her body under mine. Sofia is still colouring, completely oblivious to the two of us now, so I trace my tongue briefly along the shell of the blonde's ear and lower my voice a notch.  
  
"That's because I happen to love your full name,  _Arizona Elizabeth Robbins-Torres_."  
  
The blonde shivers again lightly, darkened blue eyes briefly glancing toward our daughter before she tilts her head to look at me, a quiet murmur leaving her lips.  
  
"You're going to be screaming that later."

 

  
*

 

  
Never a woman to back down on her word, once supper is over and Sofia is asleep, my wife has me screaming her name more than once in our bedroom while she clamps a hand over my mouth to muffle it.  
  
Collapsing back into the pillows after the third time, breathless and completely dazed, I watch as she looks down at me with a satisfied smirk, licking her lips a little.  
  
"You really do love my name."  
  
A low grunt escapes my throat and I eye the beauty hovering above me, a sexy sheen of sweat glistening on her skin in the moonlit room.  
  
"I love a lot of things about you."  
  
She grins, letting out a low chuckle as she drops beside me and snuggles in; curling her arm around my midsection and tangling her leg in between mine with a satisfied sigh. A comfortable silence engulfs us for awhile, and I find myself absently tracing patterns along the pale arm laying over me, thoughts from earlier in the day returning to the forefront of my mind. I'm vaguely aware of the feel of her under my fingertips, and her warm, soft skin pressed up against my body, breath soft against the hollow of my neck.  
  
She smells good -- like sex, and cherry blossoms, and  _her_ , and...I turn my head a little to sniff her hair...the faintest hint of the handmade cinnamon decorations she bought for our tree.  
  
"Were you snooping under the tree?" I laugh softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "you smell like those cinnamon things."  
  
"I was not snooping, I was arranging the gifts we bought and wrapped today."  
  
"I like it. You smell like Christmas."  
  
I nuzzle my nose into her hair a bit more, letting out a sigh before deciding to speak again.  
  
"My dad wants us to come to Miami for a visit."  
  
Arizona tilts her head up, shifting a bit so she can look at me, and a surprised expression crosses her face.  
  
"He does? Does your mom wan--"  
  
"Mom's not going to be there. I guess she's leaving after new year's to go visit my Aunt Rita for awhile."  
  
My feelings are fairly neutral about my mother at this point -- at least, I tell myself they are, most of the time -- but I can see the concern etched around the corner of the blonde's eyes as she contemplates my words.  
  
"We do have those few days off at the end of January. I know we were thinking of taking Sofia to Pismo Beach, but we could go to Miami if you want."  
  
"I don't know if I want or not."  
  
I feel fingers lightly caressing my jaw as Arizona reaches her hand up, soothingly running her hand along my neck.  
  
"I mean, I want to see dad of course...but I don't know. If my mom even found out we were in her house she'd probably throw a fit. She hates me. And you."  
  
"She doesn't hate you, Callie," Arizona's fingers still, her hand resting over my chest, "me, she might actually hate -- but she doesn't hate you."  
  
I scoff, shaking my head a little.  
  
"Yeah, pretty sure she does. But at any rate, doesn't it seem weird? Going to visit but only going when she's gone, like we're sneaking around or something."  
  
The warm body beside me shifts a bit, and the blonde leans up on her elbow, studying me.  
  
"I mean it's kind of shitty that he has to plan it like that, but...I bet Sofia would love it, seeing where you grew up. Getting to see your childhood room."  
  
She pauses slightly, her finger tracing down the faint scar on my chest.  
  
"I'd love to see it too."  
  
I glance over to watch her face, seeing the genuine curiosity mixed with the concern still colouring her eyes. I've always wanted to take Arizona home -- of course I have -- but I never thought she was really interested, not after she witnessed what my family put me through.  
  
"Do you know, I have never brought a boyfriend or a girlfriend home to my parents' place. Not even George."  
  
"You haven't?"  
  
I shift my arm so I can wrap it around her, pulling her back against me, and I shrug a little,  
  
"I mean, we just weren't together long enough for me to have the chance. And anyone else...well, there was never anyone else who was important enough that I cared. Not until you."  
  
The blonde snuggles in again, pressing a soft kiss to the line of my jaw before she settles her head onto my shoulder.  
  
"If you want to go, I would love to. But if you don't, that's okay too."  
  
She reaches down and tugs the blankets up over us, tucking them around our combined form and then curling her arm back around my abdomen. We usually at least attempt to get dressed before falling asleep, knowing there's a very real possibility that Sofia will come barging through the door in the morning, but tonight neither of us seem to care -- and I think we both just want to relish in the warmth of skin to skin contact.  
  
I let my fingers trail over her side, smoothing over soft, silky skin and toned muscles, eventually letting my hand come to rest just underneath her breasts. I can feel the subtle movement from her slow, even breathing, and I smile, nuzzling the top of the blonde head, losing myself to the warm, sleepy sensation of the woman in my arms.  
  
"So what'd you get me for Christmas?"   
  
I murmur the question, letting out a small yawn, even though I know she'll never actually let it slip -- half asleep or not.  
  
"Still not telling. But you're going to like it."


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff alert. That is all.

"Calliiiiope."  
  
My wife's voice reaches my ears, lyrically drawing out my name as her face hovers directly over mine. My eyes are still shut, but I can sense her there, feel her soft breath on my face, and all I know is that we were at work way too late last night for her to be this happy this early.  
  
"I'm still sleeping."  
  
"No you're not, you're talking."  
  
I feel a soft set of lips make contact with my shoulder, and she begins a light trail of kisses along my collarbone and up the side of my neck, making it increasingly difficult to ignore her.  
  
"Sleeping," I mumble again, my lips threatening to twitch into a smile, "shh."  
  
The sheets rustle slightly, and I feel her weight shift as she settles on top of me, straddling my waist.   
  
"I guess I'll just take off this super sexy, lacy lingerie then."  
  
My eyelids flutter open at that and I peer up at the blonde, but my brow furrows when I find her grinning at me, fully dressed in plaid flannel pajama pants and a tank top.  
  
"You're a liar," I point, "you even have a bra on!"  
  
Arizona lets out a delighted laugh and reaches up to tuck some hair behind my ear, letting her hand linger along my cheek before she leans down to brush her lips softly against mine.  
  
"Made you look though."  
  
"Mm," I sigh happily into the kiss, bringing my hands up to rest on her slim waist, "the possibility of you in sexy lingerie will always make me look."  
  
She flashes me a brilliant grin again, sitting back up, and I yawn, stretching my arms up above my head in a half-hearted attempt to wake my body up.  
  
"Well, there may not be lacy underthings, but mom did make pancakes. And bacon."  
  
“Mm.”  
  
I smooth my palm up underneath her tank top, over a soft, toned expanse of stomach, and I try to push the sudden images of sexy underwear out of my mind.  
  
“That’s a decent reason to wake me up, too.”  
  
A soft laugh bubbles from the blonde’s throat again as she smiles down warmly at me, her eyes seeming to sparkle in the morning light that floods the bedroom. Her beauty is unparalleled as she sits over me in her pajamas and still slightly messy hair, her face completely free of makeup and her bright blue eyes relaxed and content. The light freckles dotting her shoulders and her nose stand out against pale skin, and the tiniest beginning of a wrinkle shows itself at the corner of her eye. Smiling, I reach up and run my thumb over it, letting my palm linger over warm skin as she tilts her head slightly into my touch.  
  
“I changed my mind. You’re the best reason to wake up. You are so beautiful.”  
  
A soft flush colours her skin and she turns her face to kiss my palm.  
  
“Merry Christmas Eve, Callie.”

 

  
*

 

  
Barbara really does make the best pancakes in the world – and finally,  _finally_  I convinced her to give me her secret ingredient as an early Christmas gift. Four years as her daughter-in-law and I’ve earned my wings; I’m finally being let in on secret family recipes.  
  
By some miracle it snowed a good couple inches overnight – enough to coat the back lawn in a blanket of white fluff – so almost immediately after all the breakfast food is eaten, Sofia is begging her grandparents to go outside and play. I bite back a grin when The Colonel side-eyes the backyard and grumbles a little to his wife, but it doesn’t take long for him to be convinced and the three of them head outside to play and put up the birdhouse that he and Sofia painted yesterday.  
  
“I love this. I love having your parents here.”  
  
I bring over the rest of the dirty dishes from the table and help Arizona load up the dishwasher, filling the sink with soapy water for the leftover bowls and pans.  
  
“Me too. Plus I kind of love seeing how much she’s softened the old Colonel up,” she laughs, turning on the machine, “who’d have thought? He would  _never_  play in the snow with Tim and I. He hates snow.”  
  
I glance out through the window over the sink and watch our daughter direct her grandfather about exactly which tree to hang the multi-coloured birdhouse in, and a smile tugs at my lips. Arizona grabs the dish towel and sidles up beside me to dry, and I look over quickly before focusing back on the soapy water in front of me.  
  
“I decided I want to go to Miami. I let my dad know last night.”  
  
"Yeah? That sounds great, I'm glad, Calliope."  
  
"I'm nervous. I feel like I'm in college bringing a girl home for the first time. Except I've been married to the girl for four years."  
  
I lift a clean pan over to her side of the sink, but pause for a moment when our hands meet.  
  
"Can I say that? I don't...I mean...we were married for three years and now we've been married for nearly six months again..." I bite my lip a little, "is it cumulative? When are we considering our anniversary?"  
  
The blonde takes the pan, smiling a little as she answers softly.  
  
"I think our anniversary is July eleventh now. We're not going to forget the first three years, but this time we're going to get it right."  
  
I smile to myself, looking up and out the window again.  
  
"Yeah, I think so too."  
  
The bird house has been mounted in one of the large oak trees in the back corner of our yard, and now Sofia is busy trying to build a snowman with Barbara -- although mostly it looks like she's rolling around in the snow while her grandmother attempts the snowball making. They might actually get a mini snowman out of this.  
  
"Sofia asked about your mom the other day."  
  
Arizona's voice pulls me back into the kitchen, and I turn my head, eyes wide at her admission.  
  
"What? What did she ask?"  
  
She dries the last platter in her hand and sets it aside, wiping her hands on the towel.  
  
"She asked why she only had one grandma. Her friend Megan told her about how she was going to see all four grandparents for the holidays."  
  
"Oh..." I sigh, pulling the plug from the sink and drying my own hands, "what did you say?"  
  
Blue eyes watch me somewhat cautiously, and the smaller woman bites her lip a little before responding.  
  
"I told her...that your mom doesn't get along very well with you, or with me, and that's why she never comes to visit."  
  
"What a thing to have to tell a four-year-old."  
  
"At first she asked if your mom was dead. That was the best answer I could think of without...well..."  
  
I nod, leaning back against the counter with a sigh.  
  
"Best I could have come up with too. It's not like we can tell her that her abuela is a raging homophobe, cause I really don't feel like starting to explain that one."  
  
"Yeah, I'm hoping we can go a few more years before learning that lesson."  
  
Arizona cups my cheeks, leaning in to drop a soft kiss on my lips, and my arms instinctively come up to wrap around her slim frame. I let them rest loosely around her waist, a small smile finding my lips when I look her in the eyes.  
  
“You know,” I slip my hand just under the back of her tank top, letting my palm rest against warm skin, “your mom called me her daughter the other day. I mean, she calls me her daughter-in-law all the time, of course, introduces me that way...but the other day when she met me for lunch at the hospital I was going on and on about my research lab, and I realized she was probably bored so I stopped and apologized...but then she said ‘of course I’m interested, Callie, you’re my daughter.’”  
  
My wife’s face brightens into a smile, and she leans in against me, reaching up to brush my bangs aside.  
  
“She loves you like her own, Callie. You may not have the Robbins name, but you’re one of us. You’re family to them.”  
  
It’s true, in every sense of the word, and the very thought of it puts a huge smile on my face. I lean in and capture soft lips in a kiss, tightening my arms around the other woman and pulling her into an embrace.  
  
“I love being a Robbins.”

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
Christmas morning starts early the next day, just as I expected, when an extremely excited four-year-old leaps unceremoniously into the middle of our bed and squeals in our faces – before the sun has even risen.  
  
“MAMA! IT’S CHRIIIIIIIIIISTMAS!”  
  
I blink awake with a slight groan as my daughter flops onto me, her body resting along the length of my torso so she’s nose to nose with me. Her eyes are wide with a barely contained excitement, and she bounces slightly as her little hands grip the neckline of my tank top.  
  
“Mama! Wake uppppppp!”  
  
Laughing softly, I wrap my arms around her and lean in for a kiss.  
  
“I’m up, I’m up! It’s Christmas!”  
  
There’s a distinct grumble from the other side of the bed, and I glance over at my wife, who’s half-heartedly attempting to snuggle back into the comforter with her eyes closed. Like that’s going to work.  
  
“I think you need to make sure mommy is awake too, or she’s gonna miss it!”  
  
Sofia looks over and rolls into the space between us, leaning in close and smooshing her palm to Callie’s cheek.  
  
“Mommy!” she grins as the older brunette opens one eye slowly, “Mommy it’s CHRISTMAS! We gotta wake uppppp!”  
  
“What time is it?”  
  
I roll onto my side, snuggling around Sofia’s warm little body, and grin over her shoulder.  
  
“Five-thirty.”  
  
Callie just groans, which only makes the little girl between us giggle harder.  
  
“Can we see if Santa caaaaaame?”  
  
I tickle her belly a little, dropping a kiss on a soft little cheek, and decide to strike up a compromise.  
  
“Okay, how about you go down the hall and wake up grandma and grandpa, and I’ll go make hot chocolate, and then we can all go see if Santa came.”  
  
“Yeah!”  
  
She scrambles up almost immediately, half climbing and half launching herself over Callie’s body to drop to the floor, and her little footsteps take off down the hall at a run. I can’t help but smirk a little as a yawn escapes me and I stretch languorously – my dad likes to wake up early; a little shrieking human alarm clock will just help him out with that.  
  
“There better be coffee with that hot chocolate.”  
  
Callie yawns and chuckles softly, scooting over to bury her face against my neck for a moment. She winds her arm around my waist and lets out a content little sound, and I just brush her hair back softly to press a kiss to her forehead.  
  
“I hear Santa brings pretty good coffee, too.”  
  
"He sure does."  
  
Laughing softly at my sleepyhead of a wife, I nudge her back a bit, reluctantly slipping away from her embrace.  
  
"Come on, we better get out there or she'll open everything without us."

 

  
*

 

  
The sight of my father still in his pajamas is one that I haven't seen for a very, very long time. Possibly since I was near Sofia's age. He was always up before everyone else in the house, and always fully dressed at the breakfast table -- old army habits, he claimed. That's just how things were done.  
  
But today as I pass over a mug of freshly brewed coffee, my father, The Colonel, is sitting on the couch in his striped flannel pajamas.   
My eyebrow raises ever so slightly, and he just shrugs half a shoulder, playing it off nonchalantly as he answers seriously.  
  
"Sofia said everyone has to stay in pajamas on Christmas."  
  
"At least until dinnertime," mom pipes up from beside him, giving me a huge grin, "she's awfully convincing."  
  
"Apparently! I wonder what else she can get dad to do while you're here."  
  
I grin at my father, who just gives me a bit of a huff as he sips his coffee, and I lean down to kiss his cheek. I'll take any opportunity to tease my normally strict, no-nonsense father, but more than anything it just fills me with happiness to see this side of him with my daughter. I never imagined them as grandparents when I was younger -- and especially not after we lost Tim -- but it's changed the older man in ways that are miraculous to see.  
  
Sofia bounces excitedly by the tree, poring over the unwrapped gifts left by "Santa" -- many of which were exactly what she asked for in her letter to the North Pole -- and I settle onto the floor beside Callie, watching as she snaps some pictures.  
  
"Mommy! Santa gave me an Olaf!"  
  
A wide grin spreads across my face as I glance at Callie, and then back to watch Sofia hug her new stuffed snowman with a look of awe on her face. That damn snowman had been  _so_  hard to find -- sold out in nearly every store we went to last weekend -- but we'd been determined to find one. And it was worth it.  
  
"I see that! He knew Olaf was your favourite!"  
  
She plops down beside the tree and delights over the toy doctor kit and collection of Play-Doh, and the books and other toys left by Saint Nick, and once she's looked through those she starts passing out the other wrapped gifts, getting Callie to help her read the name tags.  
  
"What a good little elf you are, Sofia!"  
  
My mom watches her with rapt attention, a happy smile on her face as the girl flits about the living room. This Christmas morning is exactly how we used to spend it when I was younger -- at least when my dad was around -- and I can see the nostalgic look on her face as I remember being the Christmas elf myself, with Tim supervising and reading me the tags, directing me around the room.  
  
We open our gifts one by one, laughing when Sofia starts to sing Jingle Bells in the middle of it all, and when she sticks bows to everyone, studiously trying to match them to our pajamas.  
  
We got her a train set and a tricycle this year, and a bunch of books and art supplies, and of course some educational games thrown into the mix. From my parents she gets some adorable clothes and a set of building blocks, along with some DVDs and one of those new dolls that are all the rage these days. She’s absolutely spoiled, there’s no question about it, but when I see her so _happy_  I have to admit I don’t really care for this one day of the year.  
  
“This one is for you  _and_  your mama.”  
  
I look up as my mom helps Sofia push a larger box toward me, that seems to weigh quite a bit. I hadn’t even noticed that one under the tree.  
  
“For both of us?” I question, glancing at her.  
  
She just smiles warmly, smoothing a little piece of wrapping paper out of Sofia’s hair as the girl plops down to sit beside me, and settles back in the corner of the couch herself.  
  
“You’ll see. Open it, sweetheart."  
  
Eyeing her one more time with a curious smile, I pull the bow off and tear off the wrapping paper with Sofia's help. A plain cardboard box is underneath, and I carefully use my nail to loosen the tape and open the top flaps. When I see what's inside, a wave of memories hits me out of nowhere, and I can't help the slight sheen of tears that starts to collect at the corners of my eyes.   
  
"Oh...mom," I pull out the book that's on top almost reverently, "I didn't even know you still had these."  
  
"The one thing I could never get rid of. I kept hoping someday you'd have someone to pass them on to."  
  
She smiles when I look over, and a twinkle shines in her eye.   
  
"I'm glad you do now."  
  
The book I'd pulled off the top was a well-worn hardcover of the first of the Winnie-the-Pooh series -- Tim and I's absolute favorite set of books when we were kids. I open the cover, and sure enough there on the inside – in the messy scrawl of a seven or eight-year-old Tim – is an inscription: Property of Timothy and Arizona Robbins.  
  
Callie scoots closer to look over my shoulder, and she smiles, wrapping her arm around my waist.  
  
“That’s adorable.”  
  
Sofia reaches for it, so I carefully hand her the book and dig deeper into the box, showing the books to the small girl as I pull them out and pile them between us. I find the rest of that series, along with my Peter Rabbit books, a handful of other classics that had all been my favourites, and...I can't help laugh when I glance into the bottom of the box.   
  
"My entire series of Nancy Drew!"  
  
Callie's eyes light up at the mention of what I know was one of her favourite series as well, and my mom laughs softly at the look on our faces.   
  
"Now of course, Sofia might be a little young for those just yet."  
  
"That's okay, cause I want to re-read them first," Callie reaches for the one in my hand and grins as she looks over the well worn hardcover, "this is amazing. My parents gave mine away when I was in university and I was so mad.”  
  
Sofia is already engrossed in the Winnie-the-Pooh book, carefully flipping through the pages and peering at the classic illustrations, and I meet my mom’s eyes over her head and smile warmly.  
  
“Merry Christmas, girls. “  
  
“Thank you, mom.”  
  
My reply comes softly, and I know she understands just how much this piece of my childhood means to me. Growing up, we moved around so many times, these books became such a staple in my life, and my brother’s. They moved to every single house with us, and they were constantly read and reread – first with our parents reading to us, then with Tim learning to read them to me, and eventually I learned to read with them too. There’s not a lot from my childhood that I’m nostalgic about, and there’s not a lot we kept once we grew out of it – but these are  _treasures_. And I hope Sofia will get as much happiness from them as we did.  
  
“Mama,” dark little eyes peer up at me, a delighted smile lighting up her features, “can we read this tonight?”  
  
I grin down at her, affectionately tapping her little nose.  
  
“You bet we can.”  
  
“Looks like Callie still has one to open,” my father’s voice interrupts the moment, and I see him nod toward the little box still sitting in front of my wife, his eyebrows raised slightly with a smile, “awful tiny one.”  
  
I glance over, biting my lip a little as I peer at the box with the shiny, metallic silver paper and elaborately curled ribbon. I’d been so caught up in Sofia, I forgot that Callie had yet to open her gift from me.  
  
“Well...you know what they say, dad,” I pick it up and hold it out to her, “good things come in small packages.”  
  
The brunette eyes me playfully, raising her eyebrow as she takes the gift from my palm and pulls the ribbon undone.  
  
“Pretty sure this isn’t the pony I asked for.”  
  
She unwraps the paper, her eyes widening slightly as the trademark turquoise box immediately gives away what’s inside, and when she opens the top a soft gasp tumbles from her lips.  
  
“Arizona...”  
  
Nestled inside the tiny box is a sparkling princess-cut diamond solitaire, the band in white gold that perfectly matches our wedding rings. I hadn’t been sure what exactly I was looking for when I bought it, but when I saw it in the jewelry store I knew that it was perfect. Its classic, simple elegance reminded me so much of my beautiful Calliope.  
  
I watch as she lifts it from the box and gently slides it onto her finger, nestling it against her wedding band. They fit together perfectly – just like I hoped they would.  
  
“Do you like it?”  
  
I meet her eyes, a hint of nervousness tickling the edge of my stomach, but a second later when she looks up, her megawatt smile immediately quells any of those feelings.  
  
“I love it. I love  _you_.”  
  
She leans in, capturing my lips in a kiss, and Sofia giggles happily behind us from where she now sits with my parents.  
  
“Always kissin’!”  
  
“Mm,” Callie hums lightly against my lips, kissing me softly again before she pulls back, “never enough kisses.”

 

  
*

 

  
Callie and my mom pull out all the stops and cook up a traditional holiday dinner, and we spend the rest of the day eating and laughing, and setting up Sofia’s new train set in the corner of the living room. We share a short Facetime call with Carlos in the evening, and before we know it the day is done and everyone is tucked into bed again – full, happy, and exhausted from all the excitement.  
  
I wash my face in our bathroom and let out a small yawn as I pat it dry, hanging the towel back over the rack behind the door. I can’t help catch my reflection in the mirror over the sink, and I feel a small smile tug at my lips as my eyes drift downward to land on my stomach.  
  
I’m slightly nauseous, my breasts are a little tender again, and after getting a positive on all four tests and officially missing a period, I'd run some blood work the other day at the hospital to confirm what I already knew. I am one hundred percent pregnant. And I can't hold it in any longer.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, after finally getting Sofia to fall asleep for a second time, the brunette slips into our bedroom again and I watch a little nervously as she crosses the room and stops, eyeing the wrapped gift box that sits on her pillow.  
  
“Another gift?”  
  
She climbs into bed, gazing happily at her new ring as she holds up her left hand in the dim light.  
  
“I think you got me enough already.”  
  
I laugh softly, picking up the wrapped box and holding it out until she takes it.  
  
“Just one more. I wanted to save this one until we were alone.”  
  
“It’s naughty lingerie, isn’t it? I knew it.”  
  
She pulls the bright red bow off the top and sets it on her nightstand, and proceeds to unwrap the paper and lift the lid from the smallish, flat box. I find myself holding in a breath, a nervous flutter running through my chest as she lifts the tissue paper and pulls out the soft cotton garment inside.  
  
For a moment, the dark haired woman just holds up the teeny, tiny onesie covered in a print of yellow ducklings, her eyes widening as the pieces come together in her mind. She stares at me, a look of complete awe crossing her features, and I bite my lower lip slightly, mouth curving up into a smile before I whisper.  
  
“Merry Christmas.”  
  
I can see the joy colour her eyes as they widen even further, and she immediately scoots closer, her gaze dropping down to the same stomach I’ve been staring at for the last week.  
  
“Oh my god. We’re...you’re...?!”  
  
Laughing softly, I lay back when her palm makes contact with my skin, her hand gently pushing my tank top up and out of the way as she moves to kneel beside me. I watch as her eyes soften, just gazing at the place where a new life is starting to grow inside me.  
  
“We’re having a baby, Calliope.”  
  
Her absolutely delighted smile takes my breath away, and she looks down again, her palms smoothing reverently over the still flat plane of my abdomen. Her face carries a look of complete and utter amazement – and the love that shines from her eyes is an almost overwhelming force, making my heart swell with joy.  
  
“Hi baby,” she whispers softly, leaning down to press a kiss to the middle of my stomach, “I love you so, so much, sweet baby.”  
  
She kisses every inch of my exposed stomach, her thumbs rubbing soft circles over my hips, and she looks up to meet my eyes as I watch her happily.  
  
“When did you...”  
  
“Just over a week ago,” I smile, reaching down for her hand, “and it’s been really,  _really_  hard not to say anything until tonight. Best gift ever though, right?”  
  
Callie laughs, shifting up to lay beside me, her hand sliding back into place protectively over my middle.  
  
“I can’t believe it. This is amazing.”  
  
She leans in, kissing me sweetly, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she pulls back only a fraction. I kiss her again before shifting slowly onto my side, my back pressing up against her, and I immediately feel her warm body curve itself around mine as she pulls the covers over us.  
  
“I love you so much, Arizona. I am so...so incredibly...”  
  
“Happy. Truly and completely happy.”  
  
I finish for her, tilting my head slightly so I can see her face. She smiles at me then, lowering her head to nuzzle against the back of my neck, and she settles quietly with her arm around me, her palm softly landing under my tank top and against the skin of my stomach.  
  
“So happy.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'd love to hear what you think! I hope you enjoy the continuation of this story. :)

**_Callie_ **

  
The end of January and our little trip to Miami sneaks up quickly, and as the days creep closer I'm not entirely sure I'm prepared to visit the home I haven't been to in over five years. It's not _home_ anymore, I suppose that's the problem. It's the house where I grew up, it's the city where my parents and my sister still live, but it's not home and it hasn't been in a long time.  
  
Sofia is excited to see her abuelo though, and I know Arizona is looking forward to finally seeing something from my childhood. If nothing else, I get to take my wife to the beach and see her wear a hot, hot blue bikini -- and I'm choosing to focus on that particular fact instead of anything else.   
  
I know she's also just looking forward to a few days off from work though, and to give her that I'd honestly be willing to do anything. Morning sickness had hit her hard a week or so after Christmas, and although she won't outright admit it, I know she's had a miserable couple of weeks. I'm a little worried about her going on such a long flight, but hopefully a few days of relaxation will make up for it.  
  
"Mom."  
  
I look down from the pot I'm stirring on the stove when a small hand tugs at my shirt.  
  
"Yes, mija?"  
  
"Momma is sick again."  
  
Over the last month or so, Sofia's voice had noticeably changed a bit, becoming even clearer and more articulate, more confident, and her vocabulary had been expanding too, no doubt partially due to all the books she got at Christmas and that we now read constantly. Her 'mama' for Arizona had been slowly turning into a more grown-up sounding 'momma' lately, and I'd been getting the occasional 'mom' instead of 'mommy'. It still takes me by surprise sometimes -- being 'mom' is so...different. Every time I hear it I get this mental image of our daughter as a teenager, and that thought is _not_ one I'm ready to be having.  
  
"Did she tell you to come get me?"  
  
The tiny brunette shakes her head, but concern is evident in her young eyes.  
  
"Okay, I'll go see if she's alright," I turn the burner down low, checking the pasta sauce once more before setting the lid on top, "you go back and play, baby. Don't worry."  
  
She takes off back to the living room, and I head down the hall and into our bedroom, sighing softly as the bathroom comes into view, and I can see the blonde kneeling by the toilet, head propped on her hands.  
  
"Hey," I approach quietly, grabbing a hair tie off the counter and gently combing her wavy hair back into a ponytail, "you doing okay?"  
  
A slight groan is her only response for a moment, but then she wipes the back of her hand across her mouth and shifts back, dropping down to sit against the counter.  
  
"This child hates me."  
  
Trying to keep the smile from my face, I grab the glass that lives permanently on the bathroom counter now and fill it with cool water, crouching down to offer it up.  
  
"My abuela Rosa always said the sicker the mother, the cuter the baby."  
  
Arizona takes the glass and sips gratefully, eyebrow raising slightly at my words.  
  
"I think abuela Rosa might have been making that up. Besides, our baby is going to be adorable no matter what."  
  
A laugh escapes me, and I tuck some stray hair softly back behind her ear even as she glowers slightly at me.  
  
"Can't hurt to look on the bright side though, right?"  
  
"I suppose not," she takes another sip of water, letting out a content sigh when it seems to be staying down, "and, actually, there have been numerous studies that seem to show women who experience morning sickness have a greatly reduced rate of...miscarriage. I hardly had any last time at all."  
  
She looks down at her still-perfectly flat stomach and rubs it softly. I know having another miscarriage is something she thinks about and worries about almost constantly, but I don't say anything, because she rarely does either. It's one of those things that has been silently communicated between us, but that neither of us really want to voice out loud.  
  
"So keep making me puke my guts out, baby."  
  
Leaning in to kiss her forehead, I lay my hand over hers, smiling when she looks back up at me. I feel bad that she's been sick, I really do, but I still can't help being deliriously _happy_. And every time I look at her, it feels like my whole body is going to explode with the love I feel.  
  
"Just a few more weeks of this, promise," I push myself to standing again, taking her hand to help her up, "do you think you can keep some food down? I made pasta, but no sausage in the sauce this time. I can set a plate aside for later though if you want."  
  
She uses me and the counter to pull herself up, nose wrinkling at the mention of the offending smell that she can no longer stand.  
  
"Thank god no more sausage. I think I'll be okay, I'm kinda hungry now actually."  
  
Smiling again, I crouch and smooth my hands under her t-shirt, baring her skin just a few inches as I drop a light kiss over her belly button.  
  
"Okay, come on then, mis amores," I take her hand again and head back toward the kitchen, "let's go finish supper."

 

  
*

 

  
"Sofia Robbin Sloan! I said do _not_ climb up there."  
  
I hurry over as the little girl freezes mid-climb, gripping onto the edge of the railing overlooking the lower level of the airport. She looks back at the use of her middle names, a guilty look colouring her features.  
  
"I told you not to hang on the rail, Sof. It's dangerous; you could fall."  
  
Tugging her down, I grasp her hand as Arizona comes up behind us, pulling our two carry-on suitcases.  
  
"You need to listen, Sofia. And stay close to us."  
  
Her dark brown eyes focus on me as I speak, and I notice her bite her lip just a little, nodding slowly. I know my tone is probably harsher than I intended -- but it's six-thirty in the morning and we've already been here for an hour, and I'm running on about four hours sleep and not nearly enough coffee.  
  
"I just wanna see planes," she sighs slightly, lips out in a slight pout now.  
  
"Sofia, come on..."  
  
"Hey, come here."  
  
I glance up when Arizona speaks, and watch as she lets go of the suitcases and crouches down to Sofia's level, waiting for the little girl to go to her. She scoops her up, settling her onto her hip, and points down the long open hallway to the floor-to-ceiling windows at the end.  
  
"We can go watch some planes down there, okay? It's the best spot," she raises one eyebrow slightly, "If you promise no more climbing, and no more running away. And you listen to mommy, ok?"  
  
"Arizona...you shouldn't be lifting-- "  
  
"I'm fine, Callie," she throws me a small smile, looking at our daughter again, "Promise?"  
  
"I promise, momma."  
  
She wraps her arms around the blonde's neck to hang on, and with a slight wink back at me, Arizona heads down toward the windows that overlook the tarmac. I just sigh, watching them go ahead, and I grab the suitcases and wheel them along behind me. I hate airports. It's a good thing at least one of us has some patience this morning.  
  
As my wife and daughter stand over in front of the windows, watching some smaller planes move about and take off, I find some empty seats and drop into one of them, piling our stuff around me. I lean back and glance around the waiting room, letting a yawn escape, and I rub my temple where a faint headache is threatening to make my morning even worse. I'm nervous, I can admit it. I talked to my dad yesterday, and he said Aria definitely planned to come over at some point to see us, that she wants to make amends -- and that fact alone seems so strange to me right now that I'm having a little trouble processing it. Coupled with the memory of the last time I was in Miami -- shortly after Arizona left for Africa, and when my mother and sister subjected me to lectures about how I deserved the pain I was in -- I'm having a little trouble processing the fact that we're going on this trip at all.  
  
I _want_ to, I do, but god -- the nerves just might kill me before I get there.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
Sofia and I watch a handful of planes take off and taxi around the runway, and I can't help but smile at her curious and delighted eyes, her excitement over her first real viewing of an airplane palpable as she points them out to me and asks a constant stream of questions.  
  
I glance back to where Callie is sitting, and immediately I can see how tense the other woman is. She's been on edge since we got up early this morning, and although she's been playing it off as simply being tired, I know a part of her is also nervous as hell about visiting her dad in the Torres house, and about seeing her estranged sister again.  
  
"Momma..."  
  
Sofia's soft voice draws my attention back to her, and I find her watching me with a slightly nervous look on her face, her little brow creased with worry.  
  
"Is mommy mad at me?"  
  
She bites her lip -- an adorable habit she's picked up from Callie -- and she fiddles with my heart pendant gently as she glances down again.  
  
"Oh, sweetheart -- " I shift her weight a touch and squeeze her thigh, "mommy isn't mad at you, I promise. She was just upset you didn't listen. She didn't want you to get hurt."  
  
She chews her lip a little bit again, and I can suddenly see a slight sheen of water collecting in her eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry...I don't want mommy to be mad at me..." she blinks a little, dropping the pendant back onto my chest, and a few tears roll down her cheeks, "if she's mad at me maybe she won't ever want to see me again like her mommy did. What if I'm bad again? I don't want mom to leave me. I won't be bad, I prommmmise."  
  
She sniffles, clinging onto me and pressing her face into my neck, and I can feel the floodgate of tears open against my skin. My heart breaks just a little when I take in her words and see the distress she's clearly been holding in.  
  
For the last month and a half she's been the most perfect, well-behaved, well-mannered child -- even more so than she always was before -- always playing quietly, and being almost overly polite, cleaning up before she's even told. I hadn't thought much of it, but now the realization is suddenly hitting me. She's been afraid. I hold her a little tighter, kissing the top of her head. Our daughter has been worried about us leaving her, and I don't think I've ever felt such a deep and heartwrenching sorrow in my life.  
  
"Sof...baby, shh," I rub her back, pressing my cheek to her hair, "mommy isn't going to leave, I _promise_. Nothing you could ever, ever do would make her leave you. _Nothing_ , do you hear me, mija? She loves you so, so much."  
  
"Her mom doesn't like her anymore!"  
  
Her response comes through another sniffle, and she lifts her head slightly to look at me, her eyes clouded with a worry far too intense for such a sweet, beautiful little child.  
  
"I promise, mom could never not love you. Not ever. And neither could I."  
  
I make my way slowly over to where Callie sits, pressing another kiss to her temple as I gently wipe my thumb over her cheeks, smoothing away tears. The older brunette glances up as we settle into the seat across from her, and her face immediately changes to one of concern as she sees the upset look on our daughter's face.  
  
"What's wrong? What happened?"  
  
Sofia pulls back from me and opens her arms out to Callie, fresh tears collecting in her eyes as her mother leans up to grab her, pulling her into her embrace. The little girl burrows against her chest, her arms wrapping tightly around Callie's neck, and bewildered brown eyes meet mine over her head.  
  
"She was worried you were mad at her," I speak softly, my heart still clenching painfully as I watch them, "she's been worried that you'll stop talking to her or leave her if she's ever bad," my voice lowers another notch, "because your mom left you."  
  
It takes a minute, but realization dawns on my wife's face as the words sink in and I can see the pain flash across her eyes as she tightens her hold on the child.  
  
"Sofia..." she reaches and gently tilts the little girl's chin up, meeting her eyes, "I would never, _ever_ leave you. I love you, and nothing you do or say could ever change that."  
  
Sofia wipes at her eyes a little, nodding, and she clings to the collar of Callie's jacket again.  
  
"Do you know why, mija? Because you are my heart," she takes the little girl's hand and presses it over her left breast, "and I could never live without my heart."  
  
I watch as Sofia looks up, a small smile gracing her face as she nods in understanding, all traces of tears now gone and a content, worry-free look on her face. She settles back on Callie's lap more comfortably, and I see the other woman let out a soft sigh of relief as she wraps strong arms around her. I'm grateful that seems to be all the explanation and reassurance our daughter needs for now -- that she's still young enough to accept our promises and believe us when we give them.   
  
There is nothing I wouldn't do for our little girl -- and if anyone _ever_ makes her feel like that again, they're going to have me to answer to.

 

  
*

 

  
What started out as a bit of a rough morning gets a whole lot better when we discover that Sofia _loves_ flying. When it came time to board, she was practically bouncing with excitement, and along the way she managed to charm both flight attendants and the pilot when he walked through, earning herself a little set of gold wings and an extra cookie from the snack cart. She spent the majority of the flight colouring, chatting, and peering happily out the window -- which I am grateful for because she distracted me from both my own nerves, and my inevitable baby nausea.  
  
"You doing alright, honey?"  
  
I glance sideways as Callie reaches over and squeezes my thigh, and realize I've been silent for awhile, lost in my own thoughts. Concern is evident in the brunette's eyes, and she sweeps them over me as if searching for an injury or cause of discomfort.  
  
"I'm good," I smile slowly, leaning close to brush my lips against her ear, "just thinking about the last time we were on a plane together."  
  
At the tone of my voice, her eyes immediately dart towards mine again, and I know full well she remembers the...in-flight entertainment...we partook in on our way home from Pismo Beach. I smirk just a little as I see her eyes fill with lust, and double check my seat belt as the light dings on and the attendants make an announcement throughout the cabin.  
  
"Dirty mind."  
  
"Like yours is any better. You're picturing it right now, don't tell me you're not."  
  
She checks her belt and tightens Sofia's again, then glances back at me and licks her lips quickly.  
  
"Okay, I'm picturing it."  
  
I laugh softly at the look she gives me and twine my fingers with hers as the plane begins its decent.  
  
"I am so glad I haven't lost my libido during this first trimester."  
  
Warm fingers tighten around mine, and my wife just grins widely.  
  
"You and me both."

 

  
*

 

  
"Abuelo!"  
  
Sofia is the first to spot Callie's dad as we exit the passenger area of the Miami airport, and she runs to him and leaps into his arms with an excited giggle as the older man scoops her up and hugs her.  
  
"My little princesa!"  
  
I hear her rambling on in Spanish as we approach, and her grandfather chuckles softly at something before setting her down and turning to greet us with a happy smile. If it was one thing I never expected after my first meeting with Carlos, it was how welcoming and loving he would end up being toward me -- but as he pulls first Callie and then me into a tight hug, I can't help admit how truly nice it is to see him now.  
  
"Calliope, Arizona," he lets me go, giving my shoulders a squeeze as he steps back, "how was your flight? You're both looking wonderful."  
  
"It was good," I grin, "and thanks. Considering we were up at the crack of dawn and just spent six hours in a tin can, that's a real compliment."  
  
Callie laughs, pulling me in by the waist and pressing a kiss to my cheek.  
  
"You always look wonderful."  
  
"Abuelo, can we go to the beach now? And do you have ice cream at your house? Are we going there?"  
  
Sofia is ecstatic at the idea of going to the beach -- she's only ever been a few times, and only to the small beaches along the coast of Seattle. When we told her we'd actually be able to swim in the water here, her eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates.  
  
"One question at a time, mija. Yes, we're going to back to my house now. And we can have some lunch, and then see what we do this afternoon. You must be tired after your trip."  
  
He takes her hand and one of our suitcases, and we head out of the airport and over to his sleek, fancy black car that he has parked in a VIP spot just outside the doors.  
  
"I'm not tired at all!" she exclaims as she climbs into the back, "It's really hot here. Does it rain? It rains at home."  
  
I exchange a smile with my wife as I help her get the bags in the trunk, and motion for her to take the front seat with her dad. I slip into the back and help Sofia get buckled up as she continues asking a barrage of questions, which Carlos takes in stride and keeps answering dutifully as we drive. She slips in the occasional question in Spanish too -- which she always does more when Carlos is around -- seamlessly transitioning between the two languages. I'm so glad I took those classes after I learned Callie was pregnant to brush up on my high school Spanish. Three years of twice-weekly evening classes had been exhausting at the time, but were well worth it now that I could converse with and help teach my child her second language.  
  
Before too long, we're driving through a really, _really_ nice residential area, and as I glance out the window I suddenly get an idea of what Callie's always meant when she said she grew up with money. I'd always known the Torres' were wealthy, but it had still always been hard to picture exactly how they must have lived.  
  
We pull up to a house at the very end of the street, and as Carlos hits a button in the car and the gates swing open, I can't help gape a little in surprise at the stunning Spanish colonial-style home. Mansion, more like -- because it is freaking _huge_.   
  
"Your house is BIG!"  
  
Sofia stares out the window and exclaims as we park outside a separate garage, beside two other cars, and I help her get unbuckled and reach across her to open the door, knowing she's practically bouncing to get out.  
  
"Wait for us, baby."  
  
I climb out my side and scan my eyes over the house again, a small smile pulling at my lips as I imagine Callie growing up here. It's beautiful -- the house itself, and the perfectly manicured front lawn with stylish flower beds and shrubbery surrounding it -- but it's so...not Callie.  
  
"So..." the brunette in question rounds the car, sidling up beside me so we're shoulder to shoulder, "this is where I grew up."  
  
She glances at me almost nervously, a faint blush colouring her cheeks, as if embarrassed by the lavish surroundings. My hand finds her between us and I link our fingers, squeezing softly to reassure her.  
  
"It's stunning. I mean I knew you were rich, but..." I laugh softly, "holy crap. This is like from one of those shows on HGTV."  
  
She laughs at my reaction, some of the tension visibly melting from her face, and pulls me toward the house, following Carlos and Sofia and some man -- a gardener? groundskeeper? -- who carries our bags in for us.  
  
"Pretty much. It's a little weird seeing it again. It looks almost exactly the same as it always did though."  
  
We're greeted at the door by an older woman, evidently the housekeeper, who grabs Callie in a tight squeeze, and after they catch up for a few minutes in rapid Spanish, Carlos leads us around the lower level of the house, giving me the grand tour.  
  
"You know, I do remember where everything is, dad. It hasn't changed that much."  
  
"This isn't for you. It only seemed polite to give my daughter-in-law and granddaughter a quick tour, Calliope, now that they're finally here to visit."  
  
When we get to the sprawling kitchen and eating area at the back of the house, my eyes widen when I look out the massive windows and see that they basically back onto the beach. There's a large patio and courtyard area at the back of the house, and a small bit of lawn, but then immediately behind that I can see a wide sandy beach and waves gently lapping at the shore.  
  
"The beach! Momma momma look!"  
  
Sofia bounces up and down at the windows, grabbing my hand and pulling me over.  
  
"Can we go?"  
  
Carlos chuckles softly -- whether at Sofia's antics or the stunned look on my face, I'm not sure -- and he crouches beside the little girl.  
  
"How about you let your mothers get settled in, and you and I can go play outside for a bit before lunch? Then after that we can go down to the beach."  
  
She grins and nods enthusiastically, and Carlos winks at us as she grabs his hand and he pushes open the patio doors.  
  
"Your old room was made up, Calliope, why don't you two go get settled? Maria will have some lunch ready in a half hour."  
  
"Thanks, dad. That sounds good."  
  
I glance over and see a genuine smile on Callie's face as she watches our daughter head outside with her grandfather. They cross the stone patio, Sofia stopping to peer at things and touch everything, and then disappear off to the side where a swing-set is built under some large palm trees.  
  
"My mom always wanted to tear that swing set down after Aria and I were too old for it, but he'd never let her."  
  
She smiles at me then, taking my hand again.  
  
"Come on, I'll show you around upstairs."  
  
I follow her back to the front and up a massive staircase to the second level, and she leads me around, giving me a quick tour of the various rooms. The upstairs is every bit as gorgeous as the downstairs, and again it's just so weird to think of Callie living here -- it's kind of weird to think of any kids ever living here at all, given how pristine everything is.  
  
"This is our room -- well, my old room."  
  
She leads me to a door at the end of the hall, facing the back of the house, and pushes it open.  
  
"That," she points low down on the wall beside the door, and I see a faint dent, "is where I tripped and smacked my head into the wall when I was ten."  
  
I can't suppress the laugh that bubbles from my throat, and I head into her bedroom, looking around.  
  
"They haven't changed it much, surprisingly...." she glances around, her voice softening a bit, "I really thought they would have turned it into a guest room."  
  
I wander around the large room, taking in the four-poster bed and the expensive looking furnishings, smiling when I note that the walls and the textiles are a deep purple colour, much like her bedroom in our old apartment had been. There's a large bookcase along one wall, filled with scores of novels and textbooks and books of piano music, and some small trinkets and trophies and photo frames line the dresser and desk, and another floating shelf beside the bed.  
  
A photo catches my eye, and I carefully pick up the pewter frame and peer at a much younger, teenage Calliope, posing on the stern of a boat with an older girl who has to be Aria judging by her looks. I've seen plenty of childhood pictures of Callie, but never this one in particular.  
  
"You were always so beautiful. You look so young in this."  
  
She peers over my shoulder, chuckling softly.  
  
"I was fifteen, and incredibly awkward. Aria was twenty-one, and she was home for the summer that year. It was the first time we became really close friends."  
  
I set the frame down and run my finger over a few of the trinkets laid out on the shelf -- then turn and spot the wall opposite the bed. I bite my lip, trying to hold back a giggle.  
  
"Luke Perry, huh?"  
  
A giant poster of the 90's teen heartthrob adorns the wall beside the closet, along with a poster of No Doubt -- Gwen Stefani's pink hair and midriff baring outfit front and centre.  
  
"And Gwen! Okay see, now tell me you weren't totally attracted to her when you were a teenager. She's hot."  
  
A slight blush creeps up Callie's cheeks again and she laughs as I point to the poster in question.  
  
"Maybe it was subconscious or something, you're right. I think I wanted to _be_ her more than anything though."  
  
Turning to face her, I slide my arms around my wife's waist and link my hands, pulling our bodies close together. She dips her head a little and I drop a light kiss on her lips, smiling when she lets out a quiet hum of pleasure.  
  
"I really love that I'm getting to see this, Callie."  
  
"Me too," she answers softly, brushing her nose against my ear, "it's really nice to be here, with you."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
The rest of that afternoon and the next day pass quietly -- I take Arizona and Sofia on a tour of the neighbourhood and some of the places I used to hang out, and we spend a lot of time playing and relaxing on the beach, simply spending time together as a family with my dad. I spend a lot of time ogling my wife in her bikini -- which _greatly_ accentuates her slightly larger pregnancy boobs -- and I'm just really happy that we decided to take this trip.  
  
Sunday morning I wake up nervous though, because my sister is coming to visit at lunch time. My sister who I haven't seen in six years, and have only spoken to again sporadically over the last three. A part of me never wants to forgive her for how she treated me, but...I think a bigger part, the worried part, just really wants my sister back.  
  
"Hey."  
  
I glance over my shoulder as I feel two strong arms wrap around my waist, and I meet blue eyes that smile at me reassuringly.  
  
"You okay? You've got your thinking face on."  
  
"Yeah," I smile a little, running my hand over her arm where it rests on my stomach, "I'm okay. Nervous, I guess. And I keep thinking about how I should be really mad at Aria...but part of me is just really excited to maybe get her back. You know?"  
  
Arizona smiles, dropping a kiss on my bare shoulder.  
  
"I know. And that's okay -- it's good, Calliope. If you want to forgive her and build a relationship again, that's not a bad thing."  
  
I turn in her arms so we're facing each other, but she keeps her hands linked behind me, her touch grounding me from all the emotions coursing through my body.  
  
"Shouldn't I be pissed off though? Be angry at her for the last six years? I mean yeah we've talked a bit...but she never truly acknowledged you, or us, or ever made an attempt to convey that she supported me. And she still abandoned me for nearly three years."  
  
The blonde studies me for a moment, and then shrugs her shoulder lightly, running a hand up along my back.  
  
"I think...if there's one thing I've learned, it's that sometimes there's no point hanging onto anger."  
  
Her words immediately sink in, and I know exactly what she means by them. And maybe she's right -- there really isn't much point in hanging onto a grudge, not if I can move on and have a relationship with Aria again. I can be a bigger person than that.  
  
I didn't even hear the front door opening, or footsteps coming from the front hall, but I suddenly hear a voice behind me and swallow thickly.  
  
"Callie..."  
  
I turn, pulling back out of Arizona's arms, and for the first time in six years my older sister stands in front of me. She looks older now, and her hair is a little shorter in its low ponytail, but she hasn't changed much. She's exactly how I remember her -- her posture perfect, her casual but stylish clothes betraying her social status, and her facial expressions almost seeming cold and distant.  
  
But her eyes always showed her true self. The fun-loving, mischievous, friendly sister I remember being friends with is still very much there in front of me. She just looks at me for a moment, her eyes briefly scanning over me before she meets my own, and I can easily see a myriad of emotions passing through her gaze before she speaks softly.  
  
"Hi, hermanita."  
  
She pauses for a moment as we both just study each other, and then she somewhat cautiously takes a few steps closer.  
  
"You look beautiful. I..." she falters for a second, almost uncharacteristically nervous, "I missed you, Callie."  
  
"I missed you too, Aria," I let out a sigh, struggling to control my own emotions as they flood my system, "we didn't have to, you know. Miss each other."  
  
"I know."  
  
Her reply is immediate, and her voice is tinged with unmistakable regret, something I've very rarely heard from her.   
  
"I know. And I am so, so sorry...for everything. For the last six years. For missing your life and for not standing up for you to mom...I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive me. I don't know if I'd be able to."  
  
I swallow hard again, willing myself not to tear up, and I feel Arizona slip her hand into mine -- suddenly becoming aware that the other woman is still there with me. Aria's gaze shifts to the blonde, and to my surprise, a small smile pulls at her lips.  
  
"And you're Arizona. I've seen you in pictures...from dad. It's nice to meet you."  
  
Arizona smiles beautifully, and she squeezes my hand a little as she speaks to my sister.  
  
"It's nice to finally meet you, too."  
  
She laughs softly after a moment, glancing between the two of us, and I'm glad for the slight break in tension.  
  
"You two look so much alike. I mean, I'd seen some photos, but."  
  
I can't help laughing myself at the blonde's reaction, and I smile over at the other woman then.  
  
"We used to get that a lot."  
  
A pause hangs in the air between us for a long minute, but then I take a breath, letting go of my wife's hand and stepping forward. I think of her words from earlier, and of everything we've gone through in the last few years; all the anger and pain, the regret. I've decided I'm not going to hold onto the anger I felt toward my sister -- I'm not going to be bitter about it, and I'm not going to dwell on it. I want to move forward.   
  
"I forgive you, Aria."  
  
Her eyes snap up to meet mine, and the surprise in them is evident as she searches for words to reply.   
  
"I...just like that? I was awful, Callie. You never deserved to be treated how mom and I treated you."  
  
"Yeah, I know," I bite my lip a little and glance at Arizona again, "but I'm choosing to believe that you meant what you said. That you're sorry."  
  
Arizona meets my eyes, and I gather strength from the blue gazing back at me.   
  
"I want you in my life, Aria. I want to have a sister again. And I want Sofia to know her aunt."  
  
I pause for a moment, my brows knit together as I point at her with a sudden burst of venom that bubbled up seemingly out of nowhere.  
  
"Unless you still think that my marriage is wrong, that this," I motion between the blonde and myself, "is wrong. Because maybe you regret abandoning me but if that's still your opinion I won't have you anywhere near my family."  
  
"That was never my opinion."  
  
Her reply takes me aback, and I frown slightly, my eyebrow raising in question.   
  
"Care to elaborate on how that's true?"  
  
She sighs, tucking some loose hair back behind her ear.   
  
"I'm not...I don't care, Callie. Okay yeah, was I shocked when I heard? Of course. And it took me awhile to get used to the idea...but I mean, I'd known you for thirty-two years and you were straight! But it doesn't bother me that you're gay. Arizona so clearly makes you happy -- I saw you two when I walked in -- and that's enough for me."  
  
I know I'm just gawking at her, because I can't believe that after all this time, she actually never had a problem with it.   
  
"Mom is the only one who has a problem. And she..." she growls a little in frustration, in a way that's all too familiar, "listen, I was thirty-eight years old and I let my mother tell me what to do. I was afraid of what _she_ would think if I didn't side with her. I was afraid she'd cut _me_ out too, so instead of standing up for my baby sister I decided to play along with her disgusting homophobic attitude. For way too long. Don't think I'm not ashamed of that."  
  
I feel a new anger bubbling under the surface, but also a sense of...relief, almost. A sense of acceptance, hearing that my sister doesn't harbour the negative feelings toward my family that I thought she might.   
  
"You...you really accept this part of me?"  
  
I hate that my voice is almost a whisper, almost timid as it voices the question I really seek an answer to. My façade is momentarily broken, and the girl who just wants the acceptance of her family is showing her true colours.   
  
Aria steps closer, tentatively reaching out and taking my hand.   
  
"You're happy. You have a beautiful daughter. And from all accounts I've heard, you're still the amazing, brilliant..." she gives me a small teasing smile, "annoying person I've always known. So of course I accept it. More than that -- I'm not even thinking about it, it's not a factor. You're my sister, Callie. And I regret every minute I've missed of your life because of my own stupidity, but I'm hoping I can be a part of again now."  
  
The tears gather in my eyes now and I don't even try to stop them. I wipe them away quickly and wrap my arms around the older brunette, pulling her into a hug that is quickly and tightly returned. It was worth it. It's worth it to forgive her and let go of the hurt, so I can have this feeling in my life again.   
  
"There is so much to catch up on."  
  
She pulls back with a slight grin, tugging the end of my ponytail like she used to when we were teenagers.   
  
"I look forward to it."  
  
I catch a glimpse of my dad out of the corner of my eye, leaning in the doorway to the living room and watching us with a mix of emotions on his face and an almost tearful look in his eyes.   
  
"Dad, it's okay."  
  
I beckon him over, and he immediately pulls me into a hug as well.   
  
"I'm so happy to see you two together again. I'm glad you found it in your heart to forgive her, mija."  
  
The living room is far enough from the front of the house that none of us heard the sounds of a car pulling up outside, or the slamming of a door as it shut; but the faint sound of the front door opening and Maria's surprised, muffled voice catches my attention as I pull back from my father's embrace.   
  
The housekeeper's words get a little more insistent, and the unmistakeable sound of heels clicking along the hardwood floor gets louder -- and the exact instant I realize what's about to happen is the same instant I hear the familiar, forceful voice of the one woman I so desperately wanted to avoid. I don't have time to panic, because I'm struck wide-eyed staring at the entrance to the room as my mother comes to a stop in front of us.   
  
"What are you doing here?"


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you're either going to love me or hate me after this chapter...here's hoping for mostly the former. Love to hear what you think!

_“What are you doing here?”_  
  
The icy tone of her voice leaves nothing to the imagination, her displeasure written clearly across her face as her eyes flit briefly between myself and Arizona. She crosses her arms after a moment, seemingly not knowing what else to do with them, and she looks over at my father.  
  
“Carlos, did you know about this? What are those two doing here?”  
  
Dad shoots me a quick apologetic look before crossing the room to his wife. He gives her a tight smile, running his hands up her arms warmly, but the older woman doesn’t budge from her defensive stance in the doorway.  
  
“Lucia, sweetheart, what are you doing home already? I didn’t expect you until next week. Is everything alright?”  
  
“Everything’s fine. Rita’s son brought the family to visit and the house was getting crowded,” she glances over at Arizona again and switches to Spanish, her eyes narrowing slightly, “Did you invite them? I don’t want that woman in my house and you know it. They are  _not_  welcome here.”  
  
“Nice to see you too, mom.”  
  
She looks up when I speak, acknowledging me, but her face remains completely emotionless. She looks older than the last time I saw her, sterner, the look on her face one that she would give a stranger on the street, not her own family.  
  
“By the way, Arizona speaks Spanish pretty fluently, so you know, you don't have to bother trying to hide anything.”  
  
I feel the blonde slip her arm around my waist, squeezing my side slightly in a show of support. I know my mother’s words won’t phase her – she’s become somewhat of an expert at not letting insults like this get to her – but every defensive fibre in my being is on alert when I hear the tone the other woman directs at her.  
  
“Calliope, honestly,” she falls back to English, pulling away from my dad and walking into the room, “can’t you just be over this already? You divorced her – you were making good choices, finally. I thought you were getting back on the right path.”  
  
“There's nothing to get  _over_ , mom! For like the millionth time,” I scoff, gritting my teeth a bit, "I'm bi; I'm attracted to women. I'm in love with Arizona. This hasn't been a six year phase, this is who I am. And we’re married again now, just so you know -- we worked it out, because we  _love_  each other. I guess you never asked dad to see the pictures."  
  
The older woman’s eyes dart to my hand, where my diamond ring and wedding band sit, and she shoots an accusatory look at Arizona.  
  
“Don’t you see, Calliope? This woman convinced you to marry her again, so she could pull you back into her sinful world. Look at the hold she has on you – that’s exactly what they want.”  
  
I can’t help but just blink in disbelief. I don’t know why – we’ve had practically the exact same fight any time I’ve tried to speak to her over the last six years.  
  
“ _They?_  Who the hell are  _they?_  The gays? Satan? Oh, I know -- the Democrats? Please, explain it to me.”  
  
Arizona slips her arm from around my waist and grasps my hand instead, linking our fingers in plain view. I look down at our joined hands and feel her strength flowing into me, her warmth soothing my thudding heartbeat.  
  
“And I asked  _her_  to marry me again.”  
  
“Only because she’d already corrupted your thinking. It’s a sin, Callie! And one of the most blasphemous! And you spent thirty-two years living a good life, a moral life, until  _she_  came into the picture.”  
  
“Did you ever think that maybe those thirty-two years weren’t even half as happy as the last six have been with her? And she has a  _name_. Her name is Arizona. If you're going to talk about my wife, you can at least acknowledge her.”  
  
A look of disdain colours her features, and she looks over to my father again, who has been standing uncharacteristically quiet off to the side.  
  
“I can’t believe you invited her here without my knowledge. Knowing she would bring that woman.”  
  
“Lucia, that woman is our daughter-in-law. I wanted to see them, and our granddaughter. You were away,” he keeps his tone level and calm, “I didn’t see how it would hurt. It’s been too long since Calliope got home to visit.”  
  
My mind instantly goes to Sofia when he mentions her – I hadn’t even been thinking about where the little girl was at the moment. I look at Arizona with a wide-eyed panic, suddenly imagining our daughter bursting in here and ending up in the middle of this, but she squeezes my hand reassuringly, leaning in to speak quietly.  
  
“She’s upstairs, napping. Don’t worry.”  
  
“Come on, Lucia. Don’t you want to see your granddaughter? She’s such a wonderful girl – she’s so like Calliope when she was younger.”  
  
“You mean the child Calliope conceived out of wedlock.”  
  
Now I’m really angry – because it’s one thing to talk about me, or even Arizona, but it’s a whole other ballgame when she starts talking about my  _child_  with such disgust in her voice.  
  
“Why does that matter so much to you! She is still our daughter; she’s your only grandchild! Your flesh and blood!”  
  
“Who you’re allowing to grow up in a house with her! It’s bad enough that you’re a single mother by choice and you refused to marry the child's father, but I can only imagine what influence this whole relationship has on her. She’s growing up a sinner; she was born out of sin! I can’t accept that. God would not accept that, Calliope, and you know this.”  
  
My mother pointedly looks at the blonde again, and although I haven’t met her eyes over the last few minutes, I can absolutely feel the anger starting to radiate off of my wife. She is a woman who’s skilled at keeping her cool, at being rational, but as I steal a quick glance at her now, I can see the fire burning in those blue eyes.  
  
“What part of married do you not understand?" I retort, "Sofia has two parents right here, and the only influence we have on her is pretty damn positive if you ask me.”  
  
“Arizona is not her  _mother_.”  
  
“Lucia!”  
  
I see my father step in again, grasping her elbow and speaking at her in rapid Spanish, arguing over the ridiculousness of her statement. Arizona’s hand slips from mine, and that’s the moment she can no longer hold back from speaking to the woman in front of us, blatantly interrupting her mid-sentence.  
  
“Funny, because she calls me momma, and I've raised her, and I have adoption papers that pretty firmly state that I'm her parent.”  
  
My mother’s eyes snap up to meet my wife’s, and she mutters under her breath as she shakes her head.  
  
“What was that?” Arizona takes a step forward, her body coiled with tension like an animal about to pounce, “you can’t believe they would let another woman adopt her? A lesbian woman? Well guess what, the legal system seems to think children deserve two loving parents, no matter what gender they are. And I have dedicated my  _life_  to that little girl. I love her more than life itself, and that sure seems like something a  _mother_  would feel, doesn’t it? Although I suppose you might not understand that part, seeing as how it was pretty easy for you to ditch your own child.”  
  
“Arizona...”  
  
I reach my hand out, letting my palm rest on her lower back, wanting to calm the fire I see in her eyes as she utters that last dig at my mother. I love her for standing up for us, but my mom isn’t worth it. She’s not worth this stress.  
  
“No, Callie,” she turns and looks at me for a moment, swallowing hard before addressing my mother again, “enough is  _enough._  I’ve tried, oh I have tried to keep my cool about this over the last few years. At first it wasn’t my place to say anything, and then, you know, you barely spoke to her so there didn’t seem a point in ever making a scene. But this? It is despicable enough that you treat your own child this way, but don’t you  _dare_  say another word about my daughter. Don’t. You. Dare.”  
  
My eyes widen at the severity of my wife’s voice – the absolute anger that is radiating off her small frame. I've only heard her like this a few times since I've known her and there is something terrifying, if oddly beautiful, about it. If there is one thing that can describe Arizona, it is fiercely protective, but actually seeing her voice it like this makes me love her even more.  
  
“She’s right.”  
  
My father steps in beside the blonde, grasping her hand himself.  
  
“Don’t say another word about that precious child. I’m not going to let you take this out on her like you’ve taken it out on our daughter. She is an innocent little girl, Lucia.”  
  
Arizona seems to calm the slightest bit at his touch of support, but she still looks like a mother tiger protecting her young, ready to snap at any moment. She stares my mother down for a long minute before speaking again, her voice a notch lower, almost eerily calm.  
  
“Our daughter, yes –  _our_ daughter– is perfect. She is smart, and funny, and so, so beautiful. You have no idea. Our children are going to be raised in a happy household, and they’re going to be loved and supported and accepted. And if that’s the  _influence_  I have, then I am happy and proud to have it.”  
  
A beat of silence passes as my mother looks on, apparently stunned that the blonde is biting back with such force; actually silenced for the first time since she got here. I feel my eyes go wide at the same time Arizona’s do when she realizes what she’s said out loud. We hadn’t planned on telling anyone about the baby for quite awhile.  
  
“Children?”  
  
My dad lets go of Arizona, turning to face both of us with an equally stunned look on his face.  
  
“Mija...you’re...?”  
  
Glancing at my wife again, knowing we could possibly backtrack and keep it a secret, I smile slowly as I see her eyes soften and see a small smile of silent permission gracing her features.  
  
“Arizona is. We weren’t going to say anything yet but...” I grin as my father looks at the blonde in amazement, “yeah. We’re having another baby.”  
  
His face breaks out into a wholehearted grin, and he wraps his arms around the smaller woman, hugging her close to him. The tension in the room is momentarily forgotten as she laughs softly, returning the embrace, and her eyes meet mine over his shoulder filled with nothing but love. Aria grasps me in a quick hug, a delighted look on her face as she takes in the news as well.  
  
“Callie! I’m so happy for you.”  
  
“I’ve had enough of this,” my mother’s tired, but still disgusted sounding voice sounds behind us again, “bringing another child into your life like this, it’s just wrong. Until you decide to leave this life of sin, Calliope, I just can’t hear about it any longer. I'm not interested.”  
  
Tears prick at the back of my eyes as Aria lets me go, as I realize my mother is about to walk away from me yet again. It shouldn't still hurt, it really shouldn't -- not when I didn't even want to see her in the first place and rehash all this -- but seeing it actually happen is always going to sting.  
  
“Come, Aria,” she motions with a wave of her hand, “I’m not staying in this house as long as they’re here. You can drive me to the hotel.”  
  
Another pause fills the room as I look over at my sister, but after a beat of silence she steps between us, a sudden anger colouring her face – the temper I know so well from a lifetime growing up with her suddenly blooming.  
  
“You can drive yourself to the hotel. I’m done pretending to take your side, mom. I’m done putting up with it.”  
  
The older woman narrows her eyes a little, just staring at my sister.  
  
“Aria, you have more sense than this.”  
  
“Do I? Because you only just forgave me for getting divorced last year, and reluctantly, so I don’t really know what you think these days. And contrary to how I’ve acted these last six years, I  _don’t_  think Callie’s relationship is wrong. I don’t think it’s disgusting, or a sin, or anything else. I thought that surely you would eventually come to feel the same way, but clearly you’re not going to...and I have missed my little sister, mom. I want her back in my life; it was a mistake to ever treat her like I did.”  
  
Shaking her head in disappointment, my mother picks up her purse again from the side table.  
  
"I don't know what I did wrong to raise such daughters."  
  
She looks toward my dad, as if expecting him to agree or say something in her defense, but he remains stoically quiet, standing beside Arizona and I in the middle of the room.  
  
"You can let me know when they leave, Carlos."  
  
And with that, she turns and heads from the room, calling to Maria as she disappears back into the front foyer of the house.   
  
This is the last time -- the last time I  _ever_  want to see her again, I vow silently as I watch her go. I'm done subjecting myself to this, and subjecting my wife to it -- my kid. I have all the family I need right here in this room, and with Arizona's parents, who actually care about me. I have bigger priorities in my life.  
  
"Calliope..."   
  
A soft hand lands on the side of my neck, and Arizona's eyes meet mine, deflated now from her earlier outburst and filled with emotion as she speaks softly.  
  
"I'm sorry about...making a scene."  
  
"You didn't," I shake my head, taking her hands between us, "And if it's at all possible, I love you even more right now for telling her off."  
  
I smile a little when a faint blush colours her cheeks.  
  
"You're one fierce mama bear, you know that?" I lean in, lowering my voice, "It's kinda hot."  
  
A fiery look crosses the blonde’s eyes again, and I can see the faint twitch of her jaw as it clenches a bit.  
  
“No one is going to talk about Sofia that way. I don’t care who they are. I mean, I know I can’t protect her forever...” she lets out a little breath, “but I can sure as hell try. And I’m not going to let anyone speak to _you_  that way either.”  
  
“Calliope, Arizona...”  
  
A soft sigh sounds beside us, and my father gently rests a hand on each of our shoulders.  
  
“Mija, I am sorry about your mother...I honestly didn’t expect her to be back until next week. I swear to you. Those things she said were completely unacceptable.”  
  
I meet Arizona’s eyes again and let out a heavy sigh myself.  
  
“I know you didn’t, daddy. It’s not your fault.”  
  
“I just wish she could pull her head out of her ass for once.”  
  
My eyes widen at the unexpected language from my normally reserved, polite father. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say something like that, and certainly not with regards to his own wife.  
  
We’re all pulled from our thoughts though a second later, when Maria somewhat nervously pokes her head into the room, letting us know in hushed Spanish that Sofia is awake again and downstairs, back in the kitchen helping her out. I smile, letting her know it’s okay – I’m not surprised at all that the little girl has bonded with Maria, especially over a love of food. It’s exactly how I learned to cook.  
  
Aria glances at Arizona and I, quietly voicing a question once Maria heads back out.  
  
“Can I meet her?”  
  
Looking toward my older sister, I tilt my head a little, curious.  
  
“Sofia?”  
  
Grinning a little when she nods, I look to Arizona for confirmation – and immediately get it in the form of a dimpled smile.  
  
“Of course. Will you stay for supper? It’d be nice to...spend some time together, maybe.”  
  
A relieved smile crosses Aria's face then, although she looks a touch nervous at the same time. I get it, because I am too. But it won't be just the two of us at least; we'll have Sofia, Arizona, and dad as a buffer in case things get awkward.  
  
"Come on, let's go see what Chef Sofia is up to."  
  
I drop a kiss on Arizona's cheek and motion to my sister, leading her out and heading back to the kitchen.  
  
We have to start somewhere.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
To say this afternoon didn't turn out as expected is an understatement. Callie's reconciliation with Aria seemed to be easier than I thought it might -- so that was a positive at least -- but her mother showing up and saying those things to her again was an absolute nightmare. It sent an intense, pulsing anger through my veins, and even now I'm having trouble shaking it. I let out a heavy sigh, running a hand back through my hair as the two brunettes disappear into the kitchen, and I make an attempt to calm myself down before joining them.  
  
I don't even realize that Carlos is still in the room, and so his gentle touch to my back startles me after a minute, my eyes blinking up in surprise to see him standing beside me.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Blue eyes watch me intently, concern evident as the older man speaks softly to me. I'm struck by how much they remind me of Callie -- despite the colour, there's something so alike about the two of them.  
  
"I'm alright."  
  
I nod, my hand automatically coming up to play with the pendent around my neck, drawing comfort from the familiar action.  
  
"I probably shouldn't have blown up at your wife. I'm sorry."  
  
Carlos lets out a soft chuckle under his breath, shaking his head as he leads me to sit on one of the sofas, his hand still lightly at my back.  
  
"Don't be, Arizona. You were protecting your daughter, and my Calliope -- don't you ever apologize for that."  
  
I settle down beside him after a second, leaning back into the cushions, and I feel a little bit of the tension drain from my body.  
  
"I protect the things I love."  
  
"I know," he looks at me intently again, "I have to say, it's one of the things I admire in you. They mean everything to you, don't they?"  
  
A small smile tugs at my lips as I think of my girls, and I just nod again as I meet his eyes.  
  
"They really do. I'd give anything to save Calliope the pain of..."  
  
"I know that too."  
  
The older man cuts me off, letting out a soft sigh.  
  
"So would I. And I have tried everything over the years to somehow rectify the relationship between them...I honestly don't know what else can be done. Lucia will not budge, even for her own daughter."  
  
I'll never understand it -- not in a million years. I just can't imagine being able to cut Sofia out of my life, no matter what. I may not agree with everything she'll do in her life, and I'm sure she'll make me angry over different things as she grows up, but she'll always be my child. A part of me. She'll always be my heart.  
  
"She has you, at least," I smile gratefully, "and she has me, and Sofia. And Aria, hopefully."  
  
"And...soon another little addition."  
  
His eyes flicker downward briefly, a smile pulling at his features and making his eyes crinkle in a way that is completely like his youngest daughter. Grinning in response, my hand instinctively slides over my abdomen.  
  
"Surprise?"  
  
Carlos lets out a loud laugh, the mood between us instantly lifted to something a lot happier and more positive.  
  
"It certainly was. I didn't expect you two would have more children."  
  
"I never wanted them, to be honest," I admit, my hand softly rubbing over my flat stomach, "but kids with your daughter are...amazing. Miraculous. There's nothing I want more now."  
  
Chuckling softly again, he rises from the couch and extends a hand to help me up.  
  
"Tell me that again once you have two teenagers in your house. For a few years at least, there won't seem to be anything miraculous about it."  
  
I take his hand, even though I don't need it, and pull myself up, a laugh bubbling up from my chest at the thought.  
  
"Come on now, let's go rescue Maria from those three."

 

  
*

 

  
"Momma, momma!"  
  
The minute we step into the kitchen the thundering of little footsteps can be heard and Sofia bounces in front of me excitedly, a huge grin on her face.  
  
"That's my tia Aria! Did you know I had a tia? I didn't even know! Mommy says she's like aunt Amelia but in Spanish."  
  
The little girl's delight is infectious, as always, and I grin down at her, smoothing back the hair that's come loose from her braids.  
  
"I met her today too. It's pretty exciting!"  
  
I glance over toward the counter where Callie and her sister are leaning, and as I make eye contact with my wife I can see the happiness she feels at our daughter's excitement and acceptance of her newest family member.  
  
"Tia Aria lives here just like abuelo, and she has a dog named Taco, and she has a boat and she said tomorrow she's gonna take us on her boat."  
  
"Oh yeah? That sounds like fun."  
  
"If that's alright..." Aria looks at me, a little cautiously, "I thought it might be nice. We can all go out."  
  
"Yeah, of course --" I smile warmly at her, "that sounds great. I love boats."  
  
Sofia bounces back across the kitchen and starts chattering with her newly-found aunt again, grabbing her hand and tugging her over toward the large table where I see she's got a mass of crayons and papers and drawings spread out. I grin a little to myself -- she doesn't take long to make herself at home.  
  
I cross over to where Callie stands watching them and occasionally chatting with Maria at the stove, and I settle my hands on her hips, leaning into her just a little. The brunette's arms automatically come up to circle my neck, resting lightly over my shoulders, and at the simple touch I can feel the rest of my anger and tension slipping away.  
  
"I take it Sof likes her."  
  
I can't help grin again, watching Callie's eyes light up a little as she looks back from the two at the table.  
  
"She's just happy to have someone else to boss around," she laughs, pressing a soft kiss to my lips before leaning back comfortably, "but yeah...it's kinda nice to see."  
  
"I wish we didn't have to go home so soon now."  
  
She plays with the ends of my hair a bit, watching her sister again as Sofia gets her to help draw some elaborate design.  
  
"Me too, but Aria said she's going to be in Vancouver in six weeks for work...so she's going to take a few days and come visit.  
  
"Really? What does she do, anyway?"  
  
I notice my wife's chest flush just a little, and she answers lightly.  
  
"She's COO of Hyatt International. Right under dad."  
  
I don't know that I'll ever quite get used to the fact that I married into one of the world's preeminent luxury hotel groups -- or the fact that my father-in-law, and sister-in-law apparently, work with literal billions of dollars every day.  
  
"So uh, yeah...guess it's no problem for her to get vacation time then..."  
  
Callie laughs softly, pulling me even closer against her despite the rest of the family still in the room.  
  
"I got my sister back today. I can hardly believe it. I think her and I are actually going to be okay."  
  
I reach up, softly tucking her hair behind her ear, and all I can do is smile at the way such joy radiates from the other woman's voice.  
  
"Are  _you_  okay though, sweetie? About the rest..."  
  
"Yeah," she meets my eyes, leaning into my touch a bit, "I'm okay. Really. I'm hurt, but I've got an amazing family right here, and I've got a wife who loves me beyond belief...and I'm choosing to focus on that."  
  
I study her dark gaze, and I can see the underlying hurt, and the traces of anger, but most of all, I can see the honesty in the words she's speaking.  
  
"I'm not going to let her win, you know?"  
  
She lowers her voice, speaking softly now just between the two of us.  
  
"If I let her keep hurting me...then she wins; she's in my head. But I have so, so many better things to focus on. So many happier things."  
  
Her hand slides along my side, stopping to rest lightly over my lower belly, and her thumb rubs a soft circle against my t-shirt.  
  
"She can't ruin any of that for me."  
  
I let my hand rest over hers for a moment and sigh softly as Callie kisses me again, lingering slightly as she rests her forehead against mine.  
  
"I wouldn't let her even if she tried."


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been awhile since the last update, but hopefully some of you are still interested in this story. Real life has been crazy, and it's been hard to find the motivation to move this story from my head onto paper -- but, hopefully it won't be such a long wait for the next bit. As always, I love hearing what you think!

**_Arizona_ **

  
"Does Aria know about..." I look at myself in the mirror, clad only in a bikini, and wave vaguely toward my prosthesis, "you know?"  
  
I'd worn my natural-looking leg on this trip, knowing that we'd be spending some time at the beach, but if you look closely it's still evident that it's not  _real_...and I know it comes as a shock to people sometimes. I'm finally comfortable with it, completely, and even with how my body looks half naked like this, but I'd be lying if I said peoples’ looks didn't bother me all the same. I mean I'm still a little self-conscious. I'm human.   
  
Callie appears in the full length mirror behind me before she replies, her eyes slowly trailing down over my reflection, a slightly lusty look darkening their hue as I glance at her.   
  
"She knows, don't worry. She's not going to care."  
  
Her warm hands slide over my rib cage, slowly smoothing down my sides to land on my hips.  
  
"God, you look incredible right now. I vote we move somewhere warmer. So you can wear this  _all_  the time."  
  
The halter top bikini is nothing special -- modestly skimpy, a deep royal blue in colour -- but I will admit, it makes my breasts look pretty fantastic. So does being pregnant.   
  
"You're biased. And I'm not going to look like this in a few months, you know. Possibly never again."  
  
The brunette gazes at me in the mirror again, her hands wandering along my bare lower belly and down over the top of my thighs.  
  
"I may be biased, but you're still hot."  
  
She presses a kiss to my shoulder, trailing a few more lightly up the side of my neck, causing a shiver to run down my spine.  
  
"And do you have any idea how sexy you're going to be over the next seven months? I can't wait."  
  
"Mm."  
  
I tilt my head slightly as she continues placing soft kisses along my skin, just humming slightly in acknowledgement.  
  
"If you say so."  
  
"I do say so," she murmurs against the underside of my jaw, "I know so. You're going to be so beautiful."  
  
Her fingers are playing lightly with the waist of my bottoms, one fingertip tracing just underneath the material, and I can feel my stomach twitch slightly with longing at the feel of her body wrapped around me, her scent invading my space.  
  
"Callie..." my tone is slightly warning, "you need to stop those wandering hands. Aria's picking us up in twenty minutes."  
  
"Twenty minutes is a long time."  
  
"With us? Not long enough."  
  
Her hand slips lower anyway, completely ignoring my warning, and in a second I feel her fingertip lightly running down between my legs.   
  
"Callie..."  
  
Her name escapes me with a small groan, only half protest, because who am I kidding? My amazingly sexy wife is pressed up against me in nothing but two small scraps of material, her warm hands are caressing my body, and she's still placing soft kisses along the exposed skin of my neck. I'm practically putty in her hands already.   
  
"Hm?"   
  
The taller woman murmurs against my shoulder, letting her palm slide down over me now, fingers teasing lightly through the gathering wetness.   
  
"Feels like you don't exactly want me to stop."  
  
Biting my lip a little, I glance back toward the mirror, meeting her eyes.   
  
"You have an unfair advantage."  
  
Her body is entirely surrounding me now, her other hand curling up over my breast and her thumb lightly circling over my nipple through the thin material.   
  
"Don't I always? You can't resist me."  
  
She holds my gaze in the mirror as her finger slides up and presses against my clit, applying light pressure as she circles it. My muscles twitch in anticipation, hips involuntarily pressing into her hand, and a low groan escapes my throat again. With practiced ease, the other woman slips two fingers inside me, eliciting a gasp of surprise and arousal, and she begins to move them slowly as my body responds instantaneously. I feel her lips just under my ear again, kissing and nibbling down the sensitive skin of my neck, and she's right -- I  _am_ powerless to resist her.   
  
"You look so hot like this," she murmurs the words against my ear, her warm breath skirting over my skin as she watches us in the mirror, "I love watching you come undone, Arizona."  
  
The way my name rolls off her lips, all husky and melodic, sends a tingle down my spine as I let out a gasping breath and lean back into her. Her skilled fingers curl deeper into me, her thumb still lazily brushing against my clit each time, and I'm honestly not sure how much longer I can stay upright. But a second later her hand is sliding up out of my bikini bottoms, visibly glistening, and I stare into the mirror as the darker woman raises her fingers to her lips and sucks them into her mouth.  
  
It's nothing new -- but  _damn_  if it doesn't get sexier every time she does that.  
  
Callie grins lasciviously at me, gripping my waist and walking me backwards to the bed until I fall back over it, and she tugs the royal blue bottoms off in a swift movement before lifting my thighs and tugging me to the edge of the mattress.  
  
"Callie..."  
  
"I have about ten minutes," she kneels between my legs, immediately trailing a row of kisses up my inner thigh, "tell me it's going to take more than that."  
  
My head drops back onto the bunched up duvet with a groan as I feel my wife's tongue trace the last few inches of my thigh, her loose, wavy hair tickling my sensitive skin. When she darts that same tongue against my clit again I can barely stop from crying out as my hips rise to meet her, my fists clenching into the blankets, a white-hot heat quickly beginning to spread through my body.  
  
No, no it won't take more than that at all.  
  
*  
  
About twenty- _five_  minutes later Callie and I actually make it downstairs, because someone wasn’t content with getting me off just the one time. Oh no,  _someone_  was feeling particularly greedy today.  
  
Not that I’m complaining.  
  
Although I am slightly grumbly about the fact that she wouldn’t let me touch her afterwards, despite the fact that she looked incredibly, crazily aroused, and insisted that I had to wait until tonight. She just knows it’s going to torture me all day watching her on the boat with nowhere to sneak off to – and the slightly wicked glint in her eye as we left the room left me no doubt that she planned it that way.  
  
“There you two are!”  
  
Aria spots us through the open sliding doors off the kitchen, and she waves us out onto the patio where Sofia is playing with a big chocolate lab, and Callie's dad is sitting nearby with the cooler and beach bag ready to go.  
  
“We lost track of time getting ready,” Callie answers smoothly, smiling as we step outside, “sorry guys.”  
  
“I bet you did.”  
  
Aria gives us a little smile, one eyebrow raised ever so slightly, and I divert my attention to the little girl and the happily panting dog who's showing a great deal of patience as he gets petted and fawned over incessantly. I have to say, this is not at all the kind of dog I was expecting Aria to have. I had pictured some kind of yappy, designer, purse-sized variety.  
  
"Who's your new friend, Sofia?"  
  
I stroke his head lovingly, scratching lightly behind his ear when he looks up at me with big puppy eyes.  
  
"Momma this is Taco!"  
  
She giggles, petting his snout again and placing a kiss on his nose.  
  
"Like the food. Taco is soooo soft and so pretty. I love him."  
  
I grin as she wraps her little arms around his neck, squeezing him tight, and he just accepts it happily, nosing the side of her head.  
  
"Taco is very patient," I turn to Aria, grinning, "lucky for us."  
  
The brunette turns her attention toward the two of them and laughs softly, pushing herself up from her chair.  
  
"He loves children. Well, he loves everybody, really. He's a great dog."  
  
I rub his ears some more, smiling when he lets out a happy sigh.   
  
"He was honestly the only thing I was willing to fight for in the divorce; he's like my kid. Luckily, David didn't even ask."  
  
Nodding a little, I glance at the other woman with a look of understanding. When Callie and I had gotten divorced, Sofia was the only thing I would have fought for too. Houses and cars and retirement funds don't always matter, not when there are more precious things at stake.  
  
"Of course," she shrugs a little, grinning, "I also got the boat. And the house."  
  
Callie shoulders our beach bag, narrowing her eyes a little at her older sister's nonchalance.   
  
"Yeah, you need to tell me the story there. What the hell happened with you guys?"  
  
Aria and Carlos gather up their things and head inside, and I coax Sofia and Taco up to follow the group through the house to Aria's car out front. I can't help smile a little as I watch the sisters chatting amicably to each other ahead of us, almost as if nothing had ever happened. I know they're still going to have a lot to talk through, and a lot to catch up on, but Callie is so, so excited -- and I'm so happy that I get to know them together now. It feels like things just keep getting better for us as a family, and as a couple, and for once...I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Six weeks later_ **

  
"Mm, are you watching me sleep again?"  
  
A murmured reply leaves my wife's lips, and I just smile a little, eyes still closed. It's Sunday, Sofia slept over at Amelia's last night, and no one in this house is on call for the next twenty-four hours.  
  
I feel the sheets slipping down my body, cool air hitting me at the same time that Callie's warm hand smoothes down over my abdomen. She pushes the fabric of my tank top up a bit and I blink my eyes open, glancing down at her.  
  
"Arizona, look."  
  
Squinting a bit in the morning light that filters through the curtains, I watch as her face breaks into an awe-filled grin.  
  
"You're showing," she directs her grin up to me, "look at our little baby bump."  
  
I lean up on my elbows, casting my eyes down to where her hand caresses my stomach, and I feel an involuntary smile tugging at my lips.  
  
"I haven't been able to button my jeans all week but I kind of thought I was just bloated."  
  
"This is definitely all baby. I mean it barely shows but...I can see the difference. I know your body."  
  
Dropping back onto the pillow, I tug the brunette up closer, cupping the back of her head to kiss her slowly. She responds immediately, a content hum leaving her throat as I slip my tongue against hers, my fingers threading through her thick, silky hair of their own accord.  
  
"Fourteen weeks," I murmur, pulling back just a touch and nosing her jaw, "she's the size of a lemon now."  
  
Callie laughs softly, gazing down at me.  
  
"A lemon, huh?  
  
"Or a small avocado, I suppose, if you prefer."  
  
"I can't wait ‘til we can feel  _him_  moving."  
  
I grin at the game we keep playing between us -- I'm convinced the baby is going to be a girl, but Callie insists on pretending it's a boy just to tease me. I kiss her again, rolling her onto her back, and shift so I'm curled up along her side, head pillowed in the crook of her neck.  
  
"I have my dating ultrasound on Tuesday. You'll be there, right?"  
  
"I will be there."  
  
Callie's arm wraps around me, snuggling close as she tugs the blankets back up over us.  
  
"I got Carlson to switch shifts with me, so the  _only_  reason I need to be in the hospital Tuesday morning is to go to your appointment. No surgeries, no being on-call, nothing. I won't miss it."  
  
The seriousness of her tone and the way her eyes take on an almost fierce intensity let me know she's thinking about the last time - the time she did miss it, although through no fault of her own. I’ve already had an early ultrasound this time, at six weeks, and everything looked fine then, but somehow it feels like this one is either the make or break moment. Her other hand slides over the slight swell of my stomach, settling into place almost protectively, and she murmurs against my temple.  
  
"I promise you."  
  
Smiling softly at the beautiful brunette, I tilt my head up to lightly press my lips to hers.  
  
"So what do you want to do today? We're childless til suppertime."  
  
"You?"  
  
A laugh bubbles up from my throat and I swat at her, rolling away from her embrace to sit up and stretch.  
  
"You did  _me_  four times last night."  
  
"And?" she gazes up at me, one perfect eyebrow rising ever so slightly, "didn't hear any complaints. We could have a repeat performance."  
  
"Let's go out first. Let's get brunch at that little place on Ballard, and then go for a walk in Discovery Park. It looks like perfect weather out -- and we haven't just spent a day together in ages."  
  
"Is that the place with the giant waffles?"  
  
I grin, smoothing my fingers back through her waves of dark hair.  
  
"It definitely is."  
  
"That might make up for the outdoorsy part."  
  
She sits up, stretching languidly as a yawn escapes her, and as it does every morning -- her beauty leaves me a little breathless. After all these years, I still can’t believe how lucky I am that Calliope Torres walked into my life.  
  
"We'll just do the easy walking trail. The short one, along the sound. Ooh, and we can stop at Husky Deli for ice cream on the way back too. We just won't tell Sofia."  
  
Her eyes flit my way and an amused smile tugs at her lips.  
  
"What!"   
  
"Nothing. I love you."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
Through all the years we've been together -- and not together -- I don't think I've ever seen Arizona look as beautiful as she does right now. I know she'd argue with me, say she's nearly forty now, she's missing a limb, she's got scars and wrinkles on what used to be perfect skin, a few white hairs blending into her blonde -- but none of that matters because she looks _amazing_. I think for the first time she's just truly...content, and that, above all else, makes her radiant.  
  
I know I've been caught staring when she turns her head toward me, blue eyes twinkling a little in amusement as I'm pulled from my thoughts.  
  
"You're staring."  
  
Leaning in, I squeeze her hand and drop a light kiss on my favourite lips.  
  
"Because you're beautiful. And you're my wife. And I can't help myself."  
  
She pauses for a second, but a beaming smile graces her features as she shakes her head a little.  
  
"You know, I finally get what my mom always meant."  
  
We shift over a bit as another couple passes us on the walking trail, and I glance over curiously.  
  
"What?"  
  
I watch as the blonde looks down to our joined hands, swinging them just a touch as she smiles again.  
  
"Mom used to tell me...when my relationships with Joanne, and Emily...when things started to go downhill, she always told me that I'd know they were the one if they still gave me butterflies even after a couple of years. That even if things were difficult, I had to pay attention to that feeling."  
  
It sounds just like something Barbara would say, and knowing what I do about the other two serious relationships Arizona was in, it doesn't surprise me that she would give her daughter that advice.  
  
"I never really got it. I could never imagine that after more than a few years together, someone would still give me that feeling."  
  
She reaches up with her free hand to brush lightly along the leaves of a young tree growing beside the pathway, a thoughtful expression on her face, and then her gaze falls on mine again.  
  
"But you do. Every time you say something like that -- even just looking at you sometimes. You still give me crazy butterflies."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
I glance around a little, snaking my arm around the blonde's waist and pulling myself closer. My thumb slips just under the waist of her jeans, rubbing lightly against the soft skin there, and I nose her hair aside to press a kiss below her ear as she replies.  
  
"You always have."  
  
Her breath hitches slightly at my touch, and I can't help smile to myself as I bite gently at her earlobe. Since she started her second trimester, Arizona's pregnancy hormones have been overwhelming -- giving her even more of a sex drive than normal, which I didn't think was even possible. But I’m kind of loving how even the tiniest of touches can set her off right now.  
  
"You know what we've never done before?" I murmur softly, smoothing my hand along her hip as we continue walking, "There's no one around..."  
  
A low hum of pleasure leaves the blonde, and she turns to me again, eyebrow raised slightly.  
  
"Actually, we have done that before. Remember Lexie's birthday party? When the dream house was being built?"  
  
I pause for a moment, but then the memory comes to me in full force -- Meredith had thrown the party for Lexie up at their property in the woods that summer. There had been drinks, and dancing...and then I'd convinced Arizona to sneak off into the woods with me despite her protests that we might get eaten by bears.  
  
She definitely hadn't regretted it though.  
  
"Oh,  _yeah_."  
  
I grin at the other women slyly.  
  
"That was hot. Maybe we should do it again."  
  
Her laugh rings out softly and she tilts her head toward mine, capturing my lips in a heated kiss.  
  
"Maybe..." she lowers her voice a notch, nodding ahead to the end of the trail, "you should take me for ice cream now, and then we can spend another hour or two in our much,  _much_ more comfortable bed."

 

  
*

 

  
"What would you think about naming the baby Timothy, if we have a boy?"  
  
I glance across the small table as the blonde takes a bite of her ice cream sundae, and I see the surprise flash across her eyes as she looks up.  
  
"I mean..." I continue, unsure of what she's feeling right now, "I actually really like the name. But after your brother, obviously. I don't know how you'd feel about it...but I've been thinking, and I thought it might be kind of nice."  
  
I can tell she's mulling it over, her expression giving away her feelings of nostalgia and sadness as she thinks of her brother.   
  
"I still miss him so much."  
  
"I know you do. And...maybe you don't want to be saying his name every day, calling our child that. I totally understand. I've just been thinking about it, you know, and wondered."  
  
I dig into my ice cream again, taking a bite mid-ramble to cut myself off. Maybe this wasn't a great idea after all.  
  
"No...I'd really like it. I think...he would have really loved that," she laughs softly, "he’d be so proud. I can just picture the beaming grin he’d have on his face."  
  
Smiling at her reaction, I relax a little again, spooning up the maraschino cherry from my sundae and offering it up to her. She leans in and slurps it off the spoon happily -- I've always hated those things.  
  
"Timothy Torres. Tim Torres. I think it sounds pretty good."  
  
"Maybe..." she leans back again, looking up at me, "what about Timothy Mark Torres?"  
  
The sincerity and the weight of emotion in her eyes is enough to make me catch my breath, and my hand finds hers on the tabletop, our fingers sliding together effortlessly.  
  
"I think that would be the perfect name for our son."  
  
A few moments of comfortable silence fall over the table, as we both sort through our memories and go back to the dishes of ice cream in front of us, but I soon hear Arizona's voice again and it instantly lightens the mood.  
  
"Except it's going to be a daughter. So we still need to think of some girl names."  
  
The forthright certainty in her voice makes me laugh, and I lick my spoon, pointing it in her direction.  
  
"Okay that's it. I can't wait another six months to find out what we have. I say at your twenty week ultrasound we find out. And then you'll have to give in to the fact that I'm right."  
  
"We said we were going to wait and be surprised!"  
  
"Well it's still a  _surprise_....it's just a surprise a few months earlier."  
  
I hold out a brownie bite on my spoon in an attempt to persuade her. She raises her eyebrow slightly but leans in and accepts it, chewing before she speaks again.  
  
"I am pretty curious."  
  
"We won't have to tell anyone else. But I really want to know. To prove I'm right."  
  
The blonde's soft laughter rings out again, and she leans both elbows on the table, pushing aside her now-empty bowl.  
  
"Why are you so sure you're right? I'm the one carrying the baby, so isn't there something about woman's intuition or something like that?"  
  
"Mostly I just like arguing with you about it," I finish my ice cream and smirk, giving her a half shrug, "what can I say."  
  
Rolling her eyes, Arizona gives me an indulgent look, sitting back in her seat.   
  
"Some things never change."  
  
"Hey," I smile innocently, "maybe we'll both be right. Maybe there's two in there."  
  
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize my mistake as the other woman’s shocked face turns into one of absolute fear, blue eyes widening as she freezes in place.   
  
"Oh my god, Callie."  
  
"I mean," I try to backtrack when I see the look of horror on her face, "I mean I was just kidding -- baby, I'm sure it's not twins. The chances are really slim. We didn't do IVF, and twins don't run in your family. And they weren't listed for our donor either."  
  
"Don't do that!" she leans in again and swats my arm, scowling ever so slightly, "carrying one baby is scary enough."  
  
"Really? Cause I kind of thought we were still trying for eight more after this..."  
  
I can't help the grin that tugs involuntarily at my lips, giving me away, and I laugh as my wife hits me again and tosses her napkin at my head.   
  
"What about Rebecca?"  
  
She pauses, looking up at me with confusion as I abruptly blurt out the question.  
  
"What?"  
  
"For the baby. Rebecca Torres."  
  
Her gaze shifts a little as she considers it, but then she shakes her head a little.   
  
"I like it, but nobody will call her Rebecca. They'll always call her Becca, just like everyone calls you Callie."  
  
"Uh...and that's a bad thing?"  
  
The other woman shrugs a little, tucking her hair behind her ear nonchalantly.   
  
"Not a bad thing, but I like the idea of a name that won't automatically be nicknamed. You have a beautiful name, and only I ever use it."  
  
"I like that only you ever use it. What do you think about Emma?”  
  
“Emma,” she repeats the name thoughtfully, “Emma Torres.”  
  
“It’s kind of cute, right? These are our daughters, Sofia and Emma.”  
  
“I do like it. I’m not one hundred percent sold, but I’d say it could definitely be on the table.”  
  
Something changes in her voice, her reply coming a little more softly amid the surrounding chatter of the ice cream parlour, and I can see a shift in her eyes as she settles back a little straighter in her seat. She’s worried. She’s scared – I know she is – about her appointment on Tuesday. About having a repeat of two years ago; getting bad news.  
  
“Hey –,” I lean in, picking up her hand off the table, “I know you’re nervous; it’s okay to be.”  
  
When a soft sigh escapes her, I know I’ve hit it right on the button.  
  
“I just...I love talking about it, picking names, planning, but...I picked names before, and then...”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“And I’m sure it’s going to be fine – in hindsight, especially experiencing this pregnancy now, there were things I probably could have noticed that might have indicated something was up. But –,”  
  
She runs a hand back through blonde hair, letting out a slight growl of frustration.  
  
“I feel like a crazy person. I’m being crazy, aren’t I? I mean I’m a  _doctor_ , I’m a paediatric and maternal-fetal surgeon for god’s sake, I know when there is and isn’t a need to worry about stuff like this. And there isn’t; there isn’t a need for me to be worried.”  
  
“Arizona.”  
  
I cut her off, and her eyes snap up to meet mine across the table, a mixture of emotions flashing through them.  
  
“You’re not crazy. You’re pregnant. You’re a mom – to this little lemon as much as to Sofia. I mean, do you  _remember_  how much I freaked out when I was first pregnant? When I camped out on Lucy Field’s table and refused to move and paged you 911 every time I felt a little gassy?”  
  
A small smile tugs at her features, and she nods.  
  
“Yeah...I guess that’s just part of it.”  
  
“And you are going to feel one hundred percent more crazy before this is all over, trust me. But we’re in this together. And we’re going to go on Tuesday, and we’re going to see little Emma, or Timothy, or...Agamemnon...and it’s all going to be fine. Okay?”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
I stand up from the table and take her hand, helping her up, just happy to see a small smile on her face again instead of the deep lines of worry from a few minutes ago. I know anything can happen – and I know I  _shouldn’t_  promise what I don’t know – but I also know she needs me to be the logical, rational, calm one right now, and that’s exactly what I’m going to be.  
  
“But you know,” she starts as we head out and back toward the car, “if we’re going to go with Greeks...maybe we should stick to the muses. You know, keep it in the family. Terpsichore, maybe. Or little Clio.”  
  
“Okay,  _now_  you’re crazy.”

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluff. I'm not even ashamed.

**_Callie_ **

  
"I got you something."  
  
I find my wife in the attendings' lounge, sitting in the corner of the couch scrolling through her phone. She'd come in a little early just to round on a few of her patients, but she's still dressed in plain clothes underneath her white coat. I've always loved the professional look on her -- the black slacks, the simple burgundy blouse underneath her jacket, stethoscope slung around her neck. The sapphire on her ring finger catches my eye and I smile. She doesn't wear it every day when she's performing surgery, understandably, usually opting just to keep her wedding band on -- but I've noticed that she's developed the habit of wearing it whenever something important is going on. Whenever she's stressed about something.  
  
She looks up after a second, smiling at my voice and slipping her phone into her jacket pocket.  
  
"Hey. I was just about to text you and see if you were here yet."  
  
Holding out the small paper bag and paper cup, I raise my eyebrow a little.  
  
"We've still got twenty minutes, don't worry."  
  
"Ooh, you brought me Dunkin Donuts!"  
  
She sits up and grabs both items, setting the cup on the arm of the couch before pulling out her favourite, maple glazed doughnut with a delighted look.  
  
"Just what I needed."  
  
"I should scold you for not eating breakfast before you left home," I drop onto the couch beside her, "like I seem to remember  _someone_  doing when I was pregnant. But I figured today deserved a doughnut. And that awful sugary mocha whatever drink you like so much."  
  
Chewing a big bite of the sugary pastry, the blonde leans back with a content sigh, picking up the warm cup.  
  
"A little mocha now and then is just what the soul needs."  
  
She leans over and kisses my cheek sweetly before focusing on her breakfast again, and I take a minute to study her profile, tucking a wave of blonde hair back from her face.  
  
"Excited?"  
  
"Nervous."  
  
Her answer comes immediately as she raises the cup to take a sip, but her face is surprisingly calm.  
  
"But excited too. I didn't think...I never thought I'd be doing this again, to be honest. That we would," she turns to me and grins, "so yeah, I think excitement is winning out. I just want everything to be okay."  
  
I let my hand slide over her thigh, squeezing lightly. I know I can't promise things that are out of my hands -- I know I  _shouldn't_  -- like I shouldn't have after the plane crash. I can reassure her, but I can't know for certain that things are going to be okay any more than she can. Yet something in my gut tells me that everything is finally going to work out for us. We deserve it.  
  
"I'm sure things are going to be okay. Come on," I climb up, holding out my hand, "let's head up."  
  
The smaller woman downs the rest of her drink and grabs my hand, tugging herself up. I pull her close for just a moment, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, my tongue lightly running along hers for the briefest moment. Pulling back with a grin, I let her step back.  
  
"Chocolaty."  
  
It gets me a laugh, and she leads us out of the lounge and upstairs toward the peds and maternity floor. We're a few minutes early, but Dr. Neale spots us from down the hall and greets us with a friendly smile, waving us toward her as she hands over a clipboard to the nurse at the main desk.  
  
"Arizona, Callie. All ready to go?"  
  
"Yep, ready."  
  
Arizona is all smiles as she greets Dr. Neale, and we follow her down the hall to an examination room set up with the ultrasound machine.  
  
"Now, normally I'd just have a tech do this, but...since I kind of know you personally, Arizona, I thought I'd come in myself. You are okay with that, right?"  
  
She flips the machine on and grabs her tablet, glancing up toward us as she speaks.  
  
"Of course," the blonde replies with certainty, "I appreciate it, Jackie. I know treating fellow doctors can be..." she glances at me and laughs a little, "trying on the patience sometimes."  
  
"Well, I am a woman with a  _lot_  of patience. I have three kids under the age of ten at home."  
  
After tapping out a few things and scanning over Arizona's chart, she motions to the exam table.  
  
"Alright, hop up and let's take a look."  
  
My nerves are surfacing a little now that we're actually in here, and I hover unnecessarily close, helping the blonde up onto the table. She tugs her shirt up and, at Dr. Neale's request, pushes the waist of her pants down a little to expose her abdomen. As the other doctor squirts some cool gel onto her skin, her hand finds mine and she glances up, intertwining our fingers tightly.  
  
We both watch as the doctor smoothly starts moving the ultrasound wand over her skin, and the grainy black and white image starts to materialize on the screen in front of her. She takes a few minutes, ensuring she has a clear image, and examines the screen carefully. I can see Arizona's eyes dart to the image as well, scanning it and looking carefully with her own medical knowledge, and I squeeze her hand lightly, a smile tugging at my lips.  
  
"There we are," Jackie speaks after a moment, smiling at the two of us and turning the monitor more fully towards the exam table, "looks like your baby is right on track. Fourteen weeks on Thursday -- we know that for certain given that you were inseminated here -- and he, or she, is exactly the size they should be. I see no indications of any developmental concerns and the gestation sac is also growing well, so I see nothing to worry me there."  
  
I smile down at Arizona, and see her let out a slight sigh of relief as her eyes remain glued to the monitor.  
  
"And..."  
  
Dr. Neale reaches forward and turns on the audio switch, and immediately the sound of a strong, quick little heartbeat fills the room, the steady rhythm displayed on the screen below the baby's image.  
  
"We have a good, steady heartbeat. Listen to that."  
  
Arizona grips my hand even tighter, and glancing down, I can see tears starting to pool in her brilliant blue eyes before a huge, awed smile spreads across her face.  
  
"There's a heartbeat."  
  
She speaks quietly, tearing her eyes away from the monitor to look up at me. An uncontrollable grin is plastered on my face as I look at her, every bit as amazed and awed as she is. I can hardly believe it. This is our baby. She's in there, and she's growing, and she's perfectly healthy. We are really having a  _baby_.  
  
"Yeah," I laugh softly, grinning at my beautiful wife, "there's a heartbeat."  
  
The doctor lets us listen for a few minutes longer while she makes her notes on the chart, and then she shuts off the audio and has the machine print off a picture before wiping the gel off Arizona's stomach with a smile.  
  
"Pretty exciting, isn't it?"  
  
She tugs her gloves off and hands the photo to the blonde, and Arizona sits up, adjusting her clothes and just smiling at the picture with the same awed look on her face.  
  
"It's amazing. It will always be amazing."  
  
"And you've been feeling well? I assume you would have mentioned anything otherwise. The morning sickness wore off? No unusual stomach pains or cramps?"  
  
"Not at all. I've been feeling really great, actually. Except that I have to pee  _all_  the time already."  
  
I can't help the soft laugh that bubbles up as I watch the slight scrunching of my wife's nose.  
  
"I told you that was the most annoying part."  
  
Dr. Neale chuckles lightly as well, pushing the ultrasound machine back against the wall.  
  
"It really is. Unfortunately, you can count on that continuing for the next six months. But if everything else feels good, then I'm happy. Welcome to your second trimester, Arizona."  
  
I peer at the picture that the smaller woman is still holding, smiling at the tiny little image of our baby and running my hand lightly over her back.  
  
"I'll book an appointment for you at twenty weeks for your next ultrasound, and for the amniocentesis if you still choose to have that done," Jackie smiles at us warmly, "take your time in here. I'll see you around soon I'm sure. Don't hesitate to find me or page me if you have any concerns."  
  
The door clicks shut a few moments later and we're left alone in the silence of the room, the small grainy photo still held out in front of us. It feels every bit as incredible as it did five years ago when we were in this room seeing Sofia for the first time; every bit as awe-inspiring and magical -- and this time there are no hesitations, no complications in our life.   
  
"I understand how you felt now," Arizona laughs softly, smiling up at me, "I can't believe...I mean I knew there was a baby in there, but seeing this is..."  
  
She glances at the photo again, then down briefly at her midsection as her hand slides over it.  
  
"Wow."  
  
I press a soft kiss to the top of her head and grin again.  
  
"I know. Proof that you're growing an actual human being in there. You'd think being doctors that this wouldn't seem so incredible, but it's kind of freaking amazing, isn't it?"  
  
"Really freaking amazing."  
  
She tilts her head back to look at me and grins.  
  
"And I feel a little less like a Paranoid Patti now."  
  
Sliding off the exam table, she straightens her clothes and grabs her lab coat, tucking the photo carefully into the side pocket of my purse before I pick it up.  
  
"Now you'll just be more like a Worried Wanda -- which is totally acceptable."  
  
"I wasn't  _that_  worried when you were pregnant."  
  
I pull the door open for her and just glance over with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"You made me drink liquid kale, didn't want me to touch a drop of caffeine, and wouldn't even let me carry a  _single_  grocery bag. And you used to steal my chart and double check all of Lucy's notes because you didn't trust her."  
  
"That was simply being cautious, is all. Proactive."  
  
"It was adorable and sweet and I loved every minute of you worrying over us. But I'm just saying."  
  
I slip my arm easily around her waist as we head downstairs in the elevator, nuzzling her temple a little.  
  
"I won't make you drink the green sludge though."  
  
The door dings open and her laugh rings out in the small space as we exit and head toward the locker room.  
  
"God, those smoothies really were awful. I am so sorry about that."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
She flashes me a grin over her shoulder, dimples on full display, and I'm momentarily dazzled before her words make me erupt in laughter.  
  
"I blame Mark."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
"What is up with you today?"  
  
I look up as Karev and I exit a patient room on the peds floor, frowning a bit as I tap in a note on the chart.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You're all bubbly and bouncy and stuff. But more than normal," he loops his stethoscope back around his neck, "you get laid this morning or something?"  
  
Thinking back briefly to this morning before we woke Sofia up for kindergarten, I smirk a little at the younger man.  
  
"Well, yes. But that happens most mornings, so that's nothing new."  
  
I watch his eyes widen briefly before he mutters something about wishing he was a lesbian, and I grin to myself, pulling up the file for our next patient check-in.  
  
"I'm having a good day, that's all. It's called being in a good mood, Alex -- try it sometime."  
  
I shoot him a mega-watt smile and push open the door to Tyler McLean's room -- a kid we had to perform an emergency open-appendectomy on yesterday evening. Alex just shakes his head, trying to contain his smile as he follows me in.  
  
"Hey, Tyler!" I greet the small seven -year-old in the bed as he looks up, "how's that belly feeling today?"  
  
"It hurts."  
  
His adorable blue eyes look up at me, and he pouts slightly, laying back into his pillow as I approach the side of his bed.  
  
"But I bet not as much as it hurt yesterday, right? Now you've just got this big old cut that needs to heal."  
  
As gently as I can, I lean over the bed and shift the blanket and his hospital gown, exposing the small wound on his side from the surgery.  
  
"I'm just going to take a look at your stitches, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
He peers down, watching as I carefully and gently feel over his abdomen -- noting there's no reaction to pain anymore from within. I lean over further to check his stitches and everything looks perfect -- no swelling, hardly any redness, no sign of infection.  
  
"Looks pretty good, slugger. I think you'll be ready for baseball camp this summer."  
  
At that the small boy perks right up, eyes widening and a dimpled grin appearing on his face, all traces of his previous pout disappearing.  
  
"Yeah? I can't wait for baseball camp! I'm gonna get so good."  
  
"Yeah well, when you get  _so_  good that you're a big, famous baseball star, you better come back and sign something for me," I wink at him, smoothing my hand over his unruly blonde hair, "deal?"  
  
He beams and nods.  
  
"Deal."  
  
I pull the covers back up over the boy and smile at his mother, who hovered a little anxiously in the corner while I examined her son.  
  
"Dr. Robbins-Torres, how long do you think Tyler will have to stay in the hospital?"  
  
"Not long at all, provided he keeps healing as well as he is," I move around the bed to speak reassuringly, "I expect we'll be able to discharge him tomorrow afternoon, and he'll just need to be mostly on bed rest at home for the next week or two."  
  
The younger woman looks relieved, and she nods in reply.  
  
"Thank you, doctor."  
  
I grab the tablet from Alex on our way out and add a note to Tyler's chart, turning down the hall to head back to the nurses' station. It's just about time for a lunch break, and if I'm lucky, maybe even time to leave early for the day and go catch up with Callie and whatever she's up to on her day off.  
  
"Dude, you're totally knocked up, aren't you?"  
  
Alex's words stop me in my tracks, and I spin to face him just around the corner, eyes shooting up to his face in surprise.  
  
"What? What are you talking about? I'm not...where did you get that idea?"  
  
He glances me over and raises an eyebrow, pointing his pen toward my chest.  
  
"I thought something was a little different about you, but you bent over that kid's bed in there and," he waves his pen toward the neckline of the shirt I'm wearing, "your boobs are definitely bigger."  
  
Jaw dropping a little, I'm about to be offended when the younger man cuts me off.  
  
"Calm down. Yes, I look. Not as much as I used to, sure -- you're like my best friend now. But they're still great boobs."  
  
I tug at the collar of my lab coat a little, pulling it shut a little more.  
  
"It's just this shirt, that's all. And stop looking at my chest."  
  
"And you were even weepier than normal when that baby's parents sent you flowers a few weeks ago -- and!" he points triumphantly, "you didn't have a single drink last Friday at Jo's birthday. You  _never_  pass on a glass of wine. I thought maybe you were on-call or something but now it all adds up. Torres totally knocked you up, didn't she?"  
  
Smiling politely and somewhat awkwardly at a couple interns who pass by and glance our way, I wait until they're out of earshot before smacking Alex on the upper arm.  
  
"What are you, a detective all of a sudden? Okay..yes. Yes, Alex," I lower my voice a little, but can't help the smile that's tugging at my lips, "I'm pregnant. But nobody except Callie knows yet, so keep it to yourself."  
  
His expression changes completely in the span of a second.  
  
"Dude, I was just trying to mess with you. Are you serious?"  
  
A laugh bubbles up from somewhere inside me at the stunned look on the other doctor's face.  
  
"Fourteen weeks yesterday," I smile softly, "we had our first ultrasound this morning."  
  
Alex grins, glancing down at my cleavage and being intentionally obvious about it. I swat him again, but laugh at the mischief in his eyes.  
  
"Well congrats. I didn't even know you guys were thinking about more kids."  
  
I start walking again and he falls into step beside me, heading toward the desk.  
  
"Like I said, we haven't told anyone we were even trying. It's something we've both wanted for awhile though."  
  
"Does this mean I'm gonna get to be head of the department again when you take mat leave?"  
  
Rolling my eyes a little at the eagerness in my protégé's voice, I set my tablet in the charging dock and laugh as I turn to face him.  
  
"Most likely. Who else would I trust?"  
  
"Annnnd everyone wins."  
  
I shake my head at him, an amused smile on my face, but he nudges his shoulder against mine gently, his voice softer when he speaks.  
  
"Seriously though, I'm happy for you guys."

 

  
*

 

  
"So Alex knows about the baby."  
  
I wrap my arms around Callie from behind as she stands at the counter waiting for the kettle to boil, and lean my chin on the taller woman's shoulder.  
  
"Wait, you told him?"  
  
"He guessed actually."  
  
She turns her head a little and gives me a questioning look.  
  
"I know," I laugh, "he's like the great mouse detective. Apparently he stares at my breasts and they gave me away. And I just couldn't deny it after he asked."  
  
My wife turns in my arms, eyes narrowing a bit as she glances down at my cleavage.  
  
"They're not that much bigger yet. Karev is looking a little too closely at my wife's chest."  
  
"Don't worry, I hit him for it. Twice."  
  
I tilt my head up and the brunette captures my lips softly, sliding her arms around my waist. The kettle clicks off a moment later, but she only sighs contently, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss, the velvety softness of her tongue tracing the contours of mine for several minutes.  
  
"Mm," sighing softly as she pulls back, I can't stop my fingers from trailing through her silky hair, "do you think we should tell Sofia she's going to be a big sister?"  
  
A bright smile takes over Callie's face at the thought.  
  
"I think we should. She's going to love it."  
  
"I'm not entirely sure about that..." I laugh a little nervously, "she's been an only child for nearly five years, Callie. A very doted on only child. We should be prepared for her to be a little hesitant about the idea."  
  
"Tim adored you though; you were inseparable."  
  
"I was also only two years younger than him -- he didn't remember a time when I wasn't around. I mean, I hope our kids end up with that kind of relationship too, but it might take her some getting used to is all."  
  
The brunette sighs softly, leaning back on the counter with her arms still linked around me.  
  
"I guess you're right, she's used to having us all to herself. Aria and I had six years between us and she couldn't stand me growing up -- we were never friends until we were adults."  
  
I brush my fingers through her hair again, fingering the soft strands as she speaks.  
  
"Is it wrong that I just wish we could go back in time a few years? That we were having this baby two or three years ago?"  
  
"It's not wrong," I reply softly, "I wish that too. And if I hadn't gotten on a plane to Boise three years ago we probably would have."  
  
Her eyes flicker to mine with a bit of surprise, but I just shrug a little.  
  
"I'd been thinking about it. Sofia was about to turn two, and I knew I wanted another baby with you. But then..." I trail off a bit, "I never had a chance to bring it up. The Nick thing happened, and then the plane happened and..."  
  
"Hey."  
  
She speaks softly now, the warm skin of her palm sliding across my jaw.  
  
"No regretting, and no dwelling on the past, remember? We promised that to each other. So let's stop this, and just think about the fact that we  _are_  doing it -- we're doing it now."  
  
A smile tugs at my lips.  
  
"There was a  _heartbeat_ ," she continues, sounding every bit as awed as she did this morning, "there's a baby...our baby."  
  
Her eyes drop down between us, and she slides her hand down over the faint swell of my stomach, caressing it almost reverently.   
  
"We're going to have two kids, Callie, " I can't help chuckle softly, "remember how terrified we were to even have one?"  
  
"No no -- I was terrified, Mark was terrified, but you were pretty much calm and collected the whole time. You were a natural."  
  
"Yeah, why don't you ask Teddy about that? I'm pretty sure that poor girl bore the brunt of my freak-outs over parenting that first year."  
  
Callie lets out a laugh, curling her hands around my waist again.  
  
"Well, freak-outs or not, you were still a natural. I can't wait to see you do it again."  
  
I just grin at the beauty in front of me, leaning in again for a soft kiss on the lips.  
  
"Come on, let's go tell kid number one she's about to have some company."

 

  
*

 

  
"Mommmma, I was colouring."  
  
"You can go back to your colouring in a minute, sweetie, I promise. Mom and I just have something we want to talk to you about. It's pretty exciting."  
  
The little girl's pout at being beckoned away from her papers and crayons on the floor is replaced with a look of curiosity as she climbs onto the end of the couch across from Callie and I.  
  
"Are we going to visit grandma and grandpa?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Are we going to the zoo?!"  
  
"We just went to the zoo two weeks ago," Callie laughs softly, "so nope, not it."  
  
Her small features take on a look of contemplation as she considers other options for exciting news, and I reach over and smooth my hand over her loose, dark hair. I really have no idea how we're supposed to introduce the idea of a new sibling to our four-year-old -- I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, but I'm finding it really hard to judge how she's going to react.  
  
"Our surprise isn't about going anywhere, Sof, but..." I glance at Callie, "it's about something that's going to change in our family soon."  
  
The little girl looks between the two of us, and at once her little brow creases in worry, small fingers twisting the hem of her top.  
  
"Is momma going to live with Uncle Alex again?"  
  
I see Callie's expression immediately shift, and she's quick to respond.  
  
"No, baby -- I promise. Momma isn't going anywhere. She's here for good, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Relieved, she nods her head and watches us expectantly again.  
  
"You know how Zola has a little brother, Bailey? And her mom is having another baby soon?" I start again, smiling as she watches me, "well, Mom and I thought you might like a little brother or sister too."  
  
Sofia's eyes widen quickly.  
  
"Bailey is coming to live here?! He steals all the red crayons!"  
  
I glance back and grin at my wife, who I can tell is barely holding back a laugh.  
  
"Not quite, baby...Bailey is staying with his family."  
  
"But," Callie continues, grinning at the little girl, "you're going to have your very own little brother or sister. Momma is having a baby."  
  
I hold my breath slightly as I watch our daughter quickly process this information, her dark eyes widening in surprise.  
  
"But you don't look like Mer-dith does!" she scoots over closer on the couch, peering at me, "she has the baby in her belly."  
  
She actually seems okay with the news, so I let out a slight sigh of relief and smile, resting my hand low on my stomach as I talk to her.  
  
"I have a baby in my belly too. It's just very, very small right now. Our baby still has to grow for _six_  months."  
  
Her small hand lands on my stomach, and I move mine out of the way for her, watching as she curiously and gently pats at me.  
  
"It doesn't feel like anyone is in there."  
  
I hear Callie laugh softly beside me, and she leans down closer to Sofia's level.  
  
"It will very soon. Right now the baby is only about this big," she holds out her fingers in a span the size of a lemon, "but it's growing every day, and you'll see momma's belly grow too."  
  
"Why do you want another baby? Why did you get it?"  
  
"We...uh...well..."  
  
Callie looks at me, a little lost for an answer, but luckily I manage to pick up for her with relative ease.  
  
"Because mom and I love you so much, Sofia -- so, so much -- we have so much love to give we wanted to share it with another baby. And we knew that you'd be a really great big sister."  
  
"How did you put it inside?"  
  
"Sof that's not really--"  
  
"Well," I cut Callie off, raising my eyebrow slightly at her, "sweetie -- when two grownups love each other as much as mom and I do, they can make babies together."  
  
"But how?"  
  
"Um, well..."  
  
This had all been going so well. I had not intended to have the sex talk with our daughter today, however.  
  
"You see," I think quickly, seeing my wife glance a little helplessly at me, "usually it takes a woman and a man to make a baby. They each have part inside of them, and when they put those parts together a baby will grow."  
  
I am a double board-certified paediatric and fetal surgeon, and 'parts' is the most appropriate explanation I can come up with on the spot. I groan a little internally, but I know I have to continue now because our curious, precocious little girl is looking at me expectantly.  
  
"But...when two mommies love each other and want to make a baby, a doctor can help them get the second part inside too."  
  
She contemplates this for a moment, looking down at my stomach again. But she's grown up around enough doctors and spent enough time at the hospital that the explanation doesn't even seem to phase her.  
  
"Did it hurt?"  
  
Smiling, I smooth her hair back again and reassure her.  
  
"Not at all."  
  
"It's gonna be in there for six whole months? That's a long time, momma."  
  
I grin at her again, unable to help myself at the slight exasperated tone in her voice.  
  
"The time will go quickly though and the baby will be here before you know it. That's why we wanted to tell you now."  
  
"Can you make sure it's a girl baby? I would like a sister, I think."  
  
"Well," Callie starts again, "we don't get to choose, sweetie. It will be a surprise whether it's a girl or a boy baby. But you'd love a little brother just as much as a sister, right?"  
  
The young brunette contemplates this for a few minutes too, her brow furrowed in concentration in a way that is so like Callie, but eventually a smile comes over her face as she looks up at us and replies.  
  
"Yeah. That would be okay. I would still share my toys."  
  
I feel Callie's arm wrap around my shoulders and I lean back into her a bit, happy at how smoothly this went and how easily our daughter seemed to understand, at least for now.  
  
"Do you have any questions, Sof?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
She shifts on the couch, leaning down towards my lap, and her little fingers tug my shirt up just a little so she can peer underneath. In a simple, innocent motion that has my heart swelling with love, she leans in and gently kisses my stomach.  
  
"See you soon, baby."  
  
She sits up again, but then pauses and leans back down, tugging my top up once more as she speaks to my belly, her breath warm against my skin.  
  
"Try to be a girl, okay?"


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 30! I can hardly believe it's come this far -- so thank you to everyone who's been reading and commenting and encouraging my little story. This is a continuation of sorts from the last chapter, really, so...watch out for fluffy bunnies. It's got a lot of dialogue, which I'm a bit nervous about, but here's hoping for clarity and everyone sounding like they should.

**_Callie_ **

  
"Karev!"  
  
The younger doctor looks over his shoulder, giving me a nod of acknowledgement as I approach him from behind at Joe's a few nights later. He and Arizona had had a difficult surgery earlier today, but they'd been one hundred percent successful so we'd decided to have the sitter pick up Sofia at daycare so we could go out for drinks.  
  
Except when my eyes land on Alex, I can't help remember what  _his_  eyes have apparently been landing on over the last few weeks.  
  
"So I hear you've been staring at my wife's breasts."  
  
Eyebrow raising ever so slightly, I casually slip my hands into my back pockets as I come to stand behind him.  
  
"What? Aw, come on. It's not like I ogle her or anything."  
  
"You apparently do enough to notice that she's pregnant, before it's even obvious," I lower my voice a notch, glancing around, "that sounds like you're looking pretty closely to me!"  
  
I watch as Alex grabs his beer from the bartender, turning to fully face me.  
  
"Dude, she's like my older sister -- it's not like that. And I have Jo! Now her rack I stare at, trust me."  
  
I'm surprisingly irked by his nonchalant response, even though I know it's true -- and I can feel the green-eyed-monster lurking just below the surface as I study him. I don't say anything, but apparently I fix him with a slightly menacing stare because his eyes widen a bit in sudden fear. Sometimes I just can't help it.  
  
"Seriously? Sloan used to look at them!"  
  
"And I used to hit him. With numerous objects. And I break bones for a living, Karev," I lower my voice an octave, pausing slightly, " _bones._ "  
  
"Okay listen," he holds his beer up between us like a white flag, "let me buy you guys some drinks. I'll keep my eyes to myself from now on. I mean and hey, you know I'll babysit the new munchkin whenever you need."  
  
I can't help a slight smirk from forming on my lips -- I still got it.  
  
"That's right you will. And I'll take a red wine. Arizona wants a 7Up."  
  
Spinning on my heel, I leave him at the bar and head back to our booth, feeling somewhat satisfied with myself for putting a little bit of the fear in him. I've always been prone to a little jealousy when it comes to Arizona -- I mean,  _look_  at her -- but these days I'm feeling especially overprotective of my wife. And not even Alex is going to be immune.  
  
"You look like the cat that got the bird."  
  
Amelia raises her eyebrow slightly, glancing at me over her glass as I slip into the booth beside Arizona. Smiling sweetly, I just lean in and drop a light kiss on the blonde's cheek before settling back comfortably.  
  
"Alex offered to bring us our drinks, that's all."  
  
My wife studies me for a moment, a slightly amused look on her face, and I know I've probably been caught. She reads me too well.  
  
"You went all I-break-bones-for-a-living on him, didn't you?"  
  
The neurosurgeon just cocks her eyebrow again curiously.  
  
"He looks at her boobs!"  
  
I scowl defensively, wrapping my arm around Arizona's shoulders and leaning back in the booth. She leans in towards me and grins across the table.  
  
"They're good boobs, apparently."  
  
"Well I mean, they  _are_ ," Amelia glances down, waving her hand towards the blonde's chest, "I'm not really into that but I can appreciate a good thing when I see it."  
  
"Oh my god, everyone needs to stop looking at my wife's chest. Those are mine. For my eyes only. She's taken."  
  
Amelia laughs, sharing a grin with the peds surgeon again as she sets her glass down.  
  
"I see what you mean. The possessive thing really is pretty hot on her. Kind of like a protective, angry lioness in a leather jacket."  
  
"I know, I love it," the blonde tilts her face toward me again and pecks me lightly on the lips, "especially because she's really just a kitten on the inside."  
  
"Okay I don't need to know anything about anyone's kitten," Alex slides into the booth beside Amelia, setting our drinks in front of us and grabbing the beer tucked under his arm, "Your rack already got me in enough trouble, Robbins."  
  
Amelia snickers and Arizona rolls her eyes at her male protégé, and I just kick him lightly under the table to reinforce my point one last time.  
  
"Besides," he points at the brunette beside him, "does she even know the full story? It's not like I was just perving here."  
  
"She doesn't--" the blonde turns to me, biting back a smile, "but I want to tell her."  
  
"Tell me what?"  
  
I grin at my wife, any feelings of discontent with Alex immediately forgotten when I see the happy look in her eyes, and just nod at her to go ahead. She smiles, finger tracing the edge of her glass lightly, and looks across the table at her friend.  
  
"I'm pregnant, Amy."  
  
"Well holy shit."  
  
Amelia's shocked reaction draws a laugh from both of us, but her face quickly shifts into a grin as she processes the news.  
  
"Arizona Robbins -- not only mother of the year over here, but now actually carrying another human being inside her. I never thought I'd see the day."  
  
"You and me both," Arizona laughs softly, wrapping her hands around her glass, "but I guess things change."  
  
"I wondered why you were joining me in the non-alcoholics club. Congratulations, you guys. So when are you due? How long have you known?"  
  
Beside her, Alex groans a little as he takes a swig of his beer.  
  
"If this is turning into a chick fest about baby talk and girl stuff then I'm out of here."  
  
"August twenty-seventh. We've known for awhile...it was Callie's Christmas gift...but I was a little anxious and I wanted to keep things quiet for a bit."  
  
"Whoa, so you have a full-blown fetus in there already," the brunette grins, "wait, this is how the boob thing came up right? Wandering eyes over here was watching closely enough to notice they'd gotten bigger."  
  
"I was not watching that closely! It was a fluke!"  
  
The younger man scowls at the three of us again, shaking his head in disbelief before he slides out of the seat and gets up.  
  
"I'm getting another beer. This is unfair."

 

  
*

 

  
"Between the three of you, you seriously don't know a single available male in this city? You people are useless." Amelia downs the rest of her third refill, setting the glass down with a sigh, "you know, I'd feel better if there was a little rum in this coke."  
  
"I know a couple really great single women--"  
  
"I just don't think I swing both ways, as much as I'm starting to wish I did."  
  
"Hey," I chime in, setting my wine glass down, "you never know. I didn't think I did either until one day *pow*. Maybe you haven't met the right one."  
  
The neurosurgeon raises her eyebrow a little, considering. It's the truth though. I don't think I even had an inkling I could be attracted to women until I became friends with Erica, and then it was just...like some kind of revelation. A really, really fantastic one as it turns out.  
  
"I don't know. I mean there were those two girls intern year but--"  
  
"Whoa, wait."  
  
Arizona looks up, her brows furrowed as she studies her friend.  
  
"Girls, plural? I thought you only ever slept with me that one time."  
  
"Hold up," Alex looks up from his bottle, suddenly very interested in the conversation again, "you two slept together?"  
  
"Like twelve years ago, Alex."  
  
He smirks happily at that little tidbit of information, and I just roll my eyes at him -- just tipsy enough that I don't even care anymore that he's acting like a smarmy little brother.  
  
"And I thought that was it!" the blonde exclaims, pointing a finger across the table, "what happened to 'it didn't really do anything for me'?!"  
  
"Well..." the other woman shrugs a little sheepishly, "I suppose it  _did_  pique my curiosity a little. I mean you were my best friend though, I wanted to...you know, test the waters so to speak with a stranger. Or two."  
  
"Yeah no, I'm pretty sure that makes you at least a little bi," I respond again, "that's the same number of women I've been with, Amelia."  
  
"Sooo--"  
  
After getting over her initial offense, Arizona seems to have a renewed sense of purpose, and I can tell with one quick glance at the blonde that she's practically vibrating with matchmaker energy.  
  
"All the more reason I should tell you about these lovely single ladies I know. Like Laura Gillis -- my peds fellow. Or Maggie. Come on, Maggie is cute. Super smart too."  
  
"Dude, Pierce isn't gay."  
  
Alex helpfully chirps in with his opinion -- which I actually agree with for once -- but before I can say anything the older peds surgeon hums lightly under her breath with a little smile.  
  
"No, but I'm like ninety-nine percent sure she has some love for the ladies. Just some things she's alluded to; plus I get the vibe."  
  
"Arizona is excellent at reading the vibe," I lean in, sliding my arm around her shoulders again, "and she's an excellent judge of women. Obviously."  
  
I wave a hand vaguely at myself, and Arizona grins before kissing me on the cheek.  
  
"Both true."  
  
"Well if I decide to head for the female side, I'll definitely take you up on that. In the meantime..." she picks up one of the last jalapeno poppers from the plate on the table, "I'll just envy all your happy love lives and bask in the brilliance of my career instead."  
  
"Whatever happened to you and Owen, anyway?" I smile at Joe as he brings me another glass of wine, and slide the glass over toward myself, "you guys seemed like you were...you know...getting _along_. You dated for awhile, I thought that was going somewhere."  
  
The other brunette just scoffs a little, running a hand back through her wavy hair.  
  
"I thought it could, except he's so not over his ex-wife. Like, not even remotely. You guys thought  _I_ had issues with relationships, you don't even know how hung up Owen still is. And it's like I eventually told him -- either man up and get over it, or if you're so in love with her, then get on a plane and fly to freaking Sweden or wherever and do something about it!"  
  
Alex raises his bottle and tips it against hers with a chuckle and a mock salute.  
  
"You said it. Dude needs to decide what he wants. It's been freaking years already."  
  
I see Arizona glance at her watch, and she looks apologetically at Amelia and Alex before squeezing my thigh under the table. The last glass of wine has definitely sent me over the line into pleasantly buzzed, and I feel a warmth spread through my body at the gentle touch.  
  
"I hate to break up the party, but we need to get home to Sofia. We told the sitter we'd be home by ten."  
  
Alex blinks a little, looking down at his own watch with a start.  
  
"Oh shit, yeah Jo's shift ended ten minutes ago. I'm gonna have to go too."  
  
I shrug helplessly at Amelia as I'm ushered out of my seat, and the other brunette lets out a sigh, waving us off.  
  
"Go, I'll settle the bill for the food. Even though preggo here ate most of it."  
  
Her tone is teasing as she winks at the blonde, and Arizona lets out a slight huff, shouldering her bag and slipping her hand into mine.  
  
"I'm not setting you up with  _anybody_  now."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Three days later_ **

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
"Yes, Mom, I'm feeling fine -- I told you. I'm just a little tired. Work has been busy; I had a huge surgery a couple days ago."  
  
I tuck the phone between my ear and shoulder as I rustle through some papers on my desk, sighing inwardly at the slight mess that's been accumulating.  
  
"I know, mom. And I'm taking it easy as much as I can. But I want to see as many patients as I can over the next five months, too."  
  
"Just make sure you get enough rest, sweetie. I know you, and I know you work yourself to the bone -- but you've got to think of the baby now."  
  
I smile a little as my mom's voice comes down the phone line, her never-failing maternal instincts sounding both worried and stern all at once. My parents had been over the moon when they found out Callie and I were having another baby, but in the week since they've known, I think my mom has already called and emailed twice as much as usual.  
  
"I know," I reply, softer than before as I find the file I was looking for, "and I am. Don't worry, Callie is making sure I take care of myself."  
  
I nudge my chair back and settle into it with a grateful sigh, shifting the phone back into my hand and bringing my other one down to rub at my thigh above where the prosthesis is attached.  
  
"Oh she's so happy, Arizona. I talked to her yesterday and she was telling me how sweet Sofia is being, and how excited she already is."  
  
"She really is," I laugh a little, "she's impatient, but she really seems happy about the idea of having a little sister or brother."  
  
"I can't wait to see my little pumpkin this weekend. You and Callie are both still off, right?"  
  
My thigh is  _killing_  me, and although the light massage feels a little better, I feel like it's going to be a long rest of the day on my feet.  
  
"Yep. Well, Callie has to be on-call Sunday, but only for major emergencies. She has a really good third-year resident in ortho now, and Edwards usually never has to page her in for anything."  
  
I flip open the file, checking over the notes Dr. Gillis made, ensuring she signed and documented everything from our patient this morning, and just listen to my mom as she goes on about our plans for the weekend.  
  
"We're really looking forward to seeing you girls," she sighs happily, "Oh! And honey wait til you see these cute little sleepers I picked up yesterday."  
  
"Mom," I can't help grin to myself, but I shake my head a little, "you don't have to start buying all kinds of baby things yet."  
  
"You said yourself that you'd given most of Sofia's baby clothes away when you moved."  
  
"We did, but I've still got a good five months to go."  
  
"Oh, well they were just so cute I had to buy them. Just wait til you see. And this sweet little blanket with duckies all over it -- you loved duckies when you were a little girl!"  
  
My mother is going to arrive on Friday with a backseat full of baby clothes; I can picture it now. She was exactly the same when Callie was pregnant with Sofia, except then she only found out after about five months so she had less time.  
  
"I'm sure they're adorable."  
  
The door to my office clicks open and I glance up to see Callie poking her head around. I smile and nod, waving her in, and sign off on the chart before shutting the file on my desk again.  
  
"Okay I have to go, mom -- Callie and I are about to grab some lunch, and then I have a full roster this afternoon. I'll talk to you Thursday night, okay?"  
  
I listen to her for a few more minutes as she rambles on about how it's a good thing Callie is taking me to lunch and getting me to take breaks, and I bite back a smile as I nod and hum along in agreement.  
  
"I love you too. Okay. Bye."  
  
Hitting the end button, I set the phone on my desk and grin at the brunette who's settled into the chair across from me, two takeout containers of lunch in front of her.  
  
"Mom's started buying baby clothes."  
  
"You know," Callie reaches forward and hands me one of the containers with a smile, "that doesn't even surprise me. It's really sweet."  
  
I pull the salad container towards me and open the top, popping a tomato into my mouth as my hand goes down to rub my thigh a little more. A tired sigh escapes me, and I'm suddenly really grateful that my wonderful wife brought our lunch date to me.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
"Yeah, just tired. I didn't sleep great last night."  
  
I take another bite, chewing slowly, and I see the other woman glance up at me again as I knead my thigh under the desk.  
  
"Is your leg bothering you?"  
  
She reads me well -- and although one of the things she's gotten a lot better at over the years is not treating me like a patient, she's almost constantly aware of how I'm feeling both mentally and physically.  
  
"I was running around a lot this morning, it's a little tired," I admit, "and the socket is just rubbing a bit...I think my thigh is a little swollen."  
  
Concern etches itself into her expression, her brow furrowing a bit as she listens.  
  
"I want to look at it tonight, okay? I did some reading, and you're probably starting to get a little edema from the pregnancy -- it can affect residual limbs more than others."  
  
I sigh, leaning back in my chair and picking up the container of salad to bring it closer. I'd been worried about how my prosthesis might affect my pregnancy, and how it could make things more difficult, but up until now it hadn't ever been an issue. But at sixteen weeks now, I'm definitely starting to have a little more weight and I know things are about to start changing quickly.  
  
"It'll be fine, don't worry--" Callie continues after I don't say anything, "you might need to get the socket adjusted a little, but I can book an appointment with Jason for you so he can take a look. I'm sure he's had pregnant patients on his roster before. He's an expert."  
  
She pushes a bottle of water and a large cup of tea closer to me.  
  
"And you know that you have the most advanced prosthesis there is -- it should handle the next few months no problem."  
  
"I'm more worried about  _me_  handling it, honestly," I take a few more bites between words, "I mean, I'm only at four months and if it's already starting to bother me...when the baby gets bigger my centre of gravity is going to completely change; my balance is going to be off and the way my weight settles on the leg is going to be way off...I'm a little worried about how it might affect my mobility."  
  
We eat quietly for a few minutes, a comfortable silence falling over us, and before long Callie sets her empty container back on the desk, studying me. I raise my eyebrows playfully, eating my last few bites before following suit.  
  
"I'll look at your schedule and get you in to see Jason in the next few days, okay? I can come too if you want."  
  
"You had a weird look on your face -- that's not what you were thinking about."  
  
The brunette just smiles and gets up, coming around the desk. She offers her hand out to me and I grab it, letting her pull me to my tired feet before she leads me over to the couch on the other wall.  
  
"I just had this thought of you with your big pregnant belly...being all adorable and cranky."   
  
She sits and gently tugs me down, and I only take a moment to shift myself along the length of the couch, sighing contently as I pillow my head in her lap.  
  
"As I wobble like a potato and you have to catch me all the time."  
  
Her fingers thread softly through my hair, working the ponytail out so she can massage my scalp, and a shiver of pleasure runs down my spine, letting me relax for the first time all day.  
  
"Arizona, I will always catch you."

 

  
*

 

  
By the time I pick Sofia up from daycare after my shift, I am  _exhausted_. Callie had gone to run some errands after work, so she'd left Sofia to play with Zola until I was done for the day, and she told me she expected to be home by the time we were. I sincerely hope she is today, because the idea of having to put together supper is not one I'm really looking forward to.  
  
"Ready to go home, Sofia?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
The little girl expertly pulls her Wonder Woman-themed backpack on and waves through the glass windows one more time to Zola and her other friends. She takes my hand and smiles up at me, and despite the long day I've had, I can't resist grinning back at that perfect little face.  
  
"What did you do at school today?"  
  
As we head out of the hospital and get in the car to head home, I let Sofia ramble on about her kindergarten adventures -- it was dinosaur day, apparently, which I have to agree is pretty awesome -- and she seems delighted at all the activities and games they played, and all the new information she's gleaned from her teachers.  
  
"I looooove dinos, momma. I want to get one. The one with the long neck."  
  
I glance in the mirror into the backseat as she stops talking to finally take a breath.  
  
"But remember what you just told me, Sof -- the dinosaurs are extinct. Which means they aren't around anymore."  
  
"I KNOW, momma," she sighs in exasperation, "maybe you can make them better. If I find a dino egg can you surgery him and make him alive again?"  
  
Well that's a new one.   
  
"Well...I mean I could try. I'd try anything for you, sweetie. But I'm a person doctor, not a dino doctor."  
  
I pull into our driveway after the short ride and park beside Callie's car, happy to see that the other woman is indeed already home. Selfishly, I also hope that means dinner is already cooking because in addition to being tired, I am starving. This baby is making me ravenous lately.  
  
"But you're the bestest doctor in the whole world."  
  
I grin to myself as I climb out, coming around to the back door and helping the little girl unbuckle her seatbelt.  
  
"Am I the best? What about mom?"  
  
She grabs her backpack and slides out of the vehicle with a thoughtful expression on her face, as if seriously weighing the merits of both Callie and I's professional careers. Honestly, at the age of four I think this child could make an excellent chief of surgery.  
  
"Mom is the best too," she nods, walking into the house with me, and then she looks up with wide eyes, "maybe mom can make the dinosaurs new bones!"  
  
I can't help laughing a little, and I take the backpack she drops in the middle of the floor and set it by the closet while she gets her shoes and jacket off.  
  
"I think you should go ask her."  
  
Her eyes light up as she grins at me, and she takes off down the hall towards the back of the house, following the telltale sounds of Callie moving around in the kitchen. I can hear her excited voice as she rambles on about her dinosaur-saving plan, and not long after I hear the soft sound of my wife's laughter, and I'm sure the two of them are already cooking up some kind of plan.  
  
I pick up Sofia's jacket and hang it on one of the hooks by the closet before slipping my own off and hanging it right beside, and I nudge her shoes from the middle of the entrance to the small pile along the wall. A few pieces of mail have been dropped on the side table, and I pick them up to rifle through -- nothing interesting though-- as I listen to the sound of soft voices and more laughter floating down the hallway.  
  
My hand slides unconsciously down over the curve of my stomach, rubbing softly over the rapidly growing baby bump. It's still not immediately noticeable if I have a looser blouse or a sweater on, or in my scrubs, but to those who know it's become obvious by now. Callie says I'm really going to pop any day now, but the idea that once would have absolutely terrified me now just makes me smile in anticipation. I already can't wait to meet this little one. Sofia is...so amazing. Sometimes I can't believe she's already been in my life for almost five years -- I can't imagine her not being.  
  
"Hey, supper is just about ready."  
  
My wife's voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I glance over my shoulder as she comes up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing my cheek in greeting.  
  
"What were you thinking about just now? You looked a little lost in there."  
  
I feel her warm hand slip under the hem of my sweater, just lightly smoothing over my skin and around the slight curve of my stomach, as if greeting the baby as well as me.   
  
"Just thinking. "  
  
I turn in her arms to capture her lips softly, a content hum leaving my throat as I pull away. I'll never be tired of coming home to all of this. To her. To the loves of my life.  
  
"Come think in the kitchen, then."   
  
Callie smiles, reaching up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear, her dark brown eyes warm and inviting as she gazes at me.  
  
"We're making plans to build a dinosaur."


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fully from Arizona's point of view, which is a first! I like being inside Arizona's head though. Also, it took a turn near the end that I didn't entirely expect, but...I decided to go with it anyway. So, here goes nothing. Let me know what you think! Your comments are appreciated more than you know :)

**_Arizona_ **

  
**_Three days later_ **

  
"Callie, wake up!"  
  
I try to keep my voice low -- Sofia won't be up for another hour -- but my wife only grumbles a bit in her sleep and burrows further into the downy pillow.  
  
"Calliope!"  
  
Letting out a heavy sigh as I shove at her shoulder, the brunette rolls onto her back and blinks up at me, her expression sleepy, but her brow furrowed a little in sudden concern.  
  
"What? Are you alright?"  
  
She sits up a bit, rubbing her eyes, and quickly scans over my face. That her first waking concern is about my safety touches me, and I suddenly feel a little bit bad about waking the other woman so early on a work day.  
  
"I'm fine. But look!"  
  
I turn so I'm standing sideways by the bed, giving her a view of my profile. I woke up a half hour ago to use the bathroom and discovered that apparently, overnight, I'd gone from looks-kind-of-bloated to full on looks-seventeen-weeks-pregnant. I'm wearing the cotton boxers and tank top that I always sleep in, the elastic waistband now falling below my protruding belly, and I just look down and grin when I see Callie's eyes rake over me in realization.  
  
"Look at you!"  
  
Her hand immediately reaches out to rest flat against the curve of my stomach, a smile stretching across her face as she traces the new outline of my silhouette.  
  
"Apparently baby Torres decided to have a growth spurt overnight," I laugh in delight as I look down and rest my hand against hers, "I no longer look like I just had one too many cheeseburgers."  
  
Callie laughs, tearing her eyes away to look up at me.  
  
"Yeah, there's no mistaking this now. It's a good thing we told everyone at work last week."  
  
"It's still weird."  
  
I look down again, smoothing my hand over the taut skin. I'd been staring at myself in the bathroom mirror for the last twenty minutes, trying to get used to it.  
  
"It's incredible. I never saw it how you did last time, I don't think I really understood how you felt....I mean," she pauses, considering her words, "it was miraculous, but it was happening to me, so it was miraculous in a different way."  
  
She shifts up so she's sitting on the side of the bed and turns me to face her, her hands sliding along the sides of my stomach to rest on my hips, and I watch her face as she studies me again, her eyes displaying a myriad of emotions. She leans in, ever so lightly leaving a trail of kisses along the exposed skin below my tank top.  
  
"But seeing you...knowing that you're carrying our  _child_  in there...it's incredible, Arizona. And incredibly  _sexy._ "  
  
I smile, brushing wavy dark hair back from her face as she looks up again.  
  
"You're beautiful, Calliope. When you look at me like that...it is stunning."  
  
She wraps her arms around me, tugging me closer until I settle between her knees, leaning in against her.  
  
"This isn't going to work much longer," I laugh, looping my arms around her neck as I glance down to the baby now taking up space between us, "Annabelle won't let us get any closer."  
  
Callie looks up and quirks an eyebrow.  
  
"Annabelle?"  
  
"Consuela?"  
  
"Oh my god, we are not naming our child Consuela. That is an old, grumpy friend of my mother's."  
  
I tap my chin, pretending to consider it further, but the brunette pipes up again.  
  
" _Timothy_  doesn't want us to get any closer."  
  
She kisses the middle of my sternum, smiling sweetly up at me.  
  
"Oh, no, Timothy definitely would have wanted us to get closer. In fact he probably would have _loved_  this somewhat compromising position we're in right now."  
  
"Arizona!"  
  
I can't help laugh as my wife gives me a horrified look, swatting me lightly on the arm.  
  
"If we are naming our potential-son Tim then you are not allowed to make any kind of suggestive jokes about his namesake. Cause ew!"  
  
"It's going to be a girl; it's a non-issue. I still have a gut feeling."  
  
The other woman shifts us carefully, laying back and pulling me with her until I'm kneeling, straddling her waist now. I shift my weight onto her, and she pushes up my top, hands roaming over bare skin.  
  
"We can find out pretty soon, you know."  
  
"I know."  
  
She smiles again, dipping her finger into my belly button lightly.  
  
"Little Timmy or Éponine."  
  
"Oh, I can't name her Consuela but you can name her after a tragic French musical?"  
  
"Hey, that's a classic!" Callie laughs, amusement twinkling in her dark eyes, "And it's unique."  
  
I roll my eyes slightly, a smile tugging at my lips.  
  
"What about Rosa? Or just Rose, even, after your abuela," I meet her eyes, trailing my fingertip along the loose neck of her t-shirt, "I know how much she meant to you."  
  
The brunette looks at me with surprise, but I smile softly, all traces of teasing gone from my expression. Callie and her grandmother were close -- closer than she is to any other member of her family, even her dad. There's a reason she has that tattoo on her hip.  
  
"I love that. And I love that you even thought of it," she sounds touched, "but Rosa...it just feels like an old name for a little girl. You know? I associate it so much with abuela. Maybe a middle name?"  
  
I reach down and brush some hair from her cheek again.  
  
"It could be a middle name too."  
  
Callie's eyes shift down to my belly again, and she grows quiet for a moment, her hand just lightly rubbing circles against me.  
  
"Nah, we can't give our son the middle name Rosa. Right?" she leans up on her other arm, pressing her ear to the top of the bump,"Yeah, that's right. That's my boy."  
  
Her eyes twinkle again with amusement and she winks at me playfully as I laugh.  
  
"Just you wait, Calliope Torres. I will bet you fifty dollars."  
  
"Arizona, we share the same bank account."  
  
"I don't care, I will bet you anyway!"  
  
My wife grins then, flopping back onto the pillows and holding her hand up towards me. I grasp it, shaking with a firm nod of my head to solidify the deal.  
  
"It's on."

 

  
*

 

  
My parents arrive the next day, early Friday afternoon, and I have them pick me up directly from the hospital after my shift. Callie's surgery is running a little later than she expected, so I leave our car for her and direct my parents to the school so we can pick up Sofia from her dance class. The after-school program runs every Friday, and usually Callie or I try to be there for it -- on a lucky day, both of us -- but sometimes it just isn't possible with our work schedules. Luckily, it had come to be something the little girl understood, and she was usually just as happy hanging out with her friend Rachel and her mom during the class.  
  
I see my parents' familiar white Prius pull into the parking lot, and I rise from the bench, walking out toward the entrance. My dad had driven the same model of SUV for as long as I could remember -- a "hearty, military-grade vehicle" -- but last year, given all the driving they'd started doing between their home and Seattle, I'd finally convinced him to buy something a little more eco-friendly. It had been a hard-won argument.  
  
I wave and head over as they park, and prepare myself for the onslaught of exclamations and attention from my mom. This will be the first time she's seen me since we told them I was pregnant, and now especially that I look it, I can only imagine the squeals of delight.  
  
"Oh my god, Arizona honey! Look at you!"  
  
Mom climbs out of the car and immediately walks toward me, grasping me in a tight embrace before pulling back and dropping her hands to my growing stomach.  
  
"You popped! You did not look like this last week on the Skype! Daniel, look!"  
  
I laugh softly, watching as the older woman softly caresses the baby bump, her eyes lit up with what can only be described as sheer happiness.   
  
"You look beautiful, darling. How do you feel? Have you been sick? How's your leg? I worry about you."  
  
"Barb, this isn't twenty questions. She looks fine to me."  
  
The Colonel envelopes me in a hug, dropping a light kiss on my temple as he pulls back and stands tall again.  
  
"I'm fine, honestly, mom -- I feel really good right now. I had some pretty miserable morning sickness the first trimester, but the last month has been great."  
  
"Oh, you gave me terrible morning sickness. Did I ever tell you that?"  
  
She opens the front door of the car for me, but I usher her into it instead and climb in the back as my father gets back in his driver's seat.  
  
"I didn't know that."  
  
"Just terrible, wasn't it Daniel?"  
  
The older man gives a grunt in reply as he drives off, and I give him quick directions to the school near our house.  
  
"Your grandmother told me at the time that it meant I was carrying a girl. Turns out she was right. You look like you're having a little boy though - you're carrying low already."  
  
Smiling as I shake my head a little, I lean back against the headrest.  
  
"You know there's absolutely no scientific basis for that myth, right? How a woman carries her pregnancy only has to do with her own body, and how her muscles and ligament structure are built. Besides, I have a feeling it's a girl. I have a running bet with Callie."  
  
"You made a bet with your own wife?"  
  
My dad glances in the mirror curiously, pulling into the school parking lot to join the other remaining cars near the front.  
  
"Fifty bucks. She's so going to owe me."  
  
I climb out once we park and watch as kids and parents start trickling out of the front doors, spotting my daughter only a few minutes later animatedly chatting with her little friend and her mom as they head out toward us.  
  
"Momma!"  
  
She soon spots me and takes off toward me as I crouch in greeting, and when she barrels into my arms I scoop the little girl up into a hug. She's already getting to be a little heavy to pick up all the time, but with my pregnancy now I know I won't be doing it much longer. She drops a kiss on my lips and I set her down, smiling up at the other parent that Callie and I have become friends with over the last year.  
  
"Thanks for keeping an eye on her again in class, Courtney."  
  
The other woman smiles warmly, smoothing her hand over the auburn waves of her own daughter.  
  
"Not at all. It was a fun class today, wasn't it guys?"  
  
I watch as Sofia lights up, grinning as she takes her friend's hand and they spin in some semblance of a ballet move.  
  
"Yeah! It was so fun!"  
  
I grin right back, catching her as she pirouettes into me, and manage to grasp her hand and her schoolbag for her before she topples over.  
  
"Okay, say bye to Rachel and Courtney, Sof. Grandma and grandpa are waiting in the car for us."  
  
"Grandma!"  
  
She hastily waves goodbye and takes off for the car behind us.  
  
"Sofia! Be careful!"  
  
Courtney laughs softly, giving me an understanding grin.  
  
"You better catch up to her. See you guys soon."  
  
Sofia is already in the car by the time I get back to them, so I climb into the backseat beside her and just help the small girl get buckled in, letting her carry on with her conversation. She's chattering away to my parents a mile a minute, and I just sit back with a smile, letting the three of them catch up for the ten minutes it takes to get home.  
  
I have to admit, Sofia is sounding more and more like me every day. There's no hope for us now.

 

  
*

 

  
"Arizona, honey, let me get that."  
  
My mom whisks down the hall toward me, grabbing the folded towels I'd just taken from the linen closet to bring to their guest room.  
  
"You don't need to be doing any work, sweetie."  
  
"Mom," I let out a slight sigh, "they're towels. I can lift towels."  
  
"Just go and sit down, you look tired. I'm going to go start supper in a minute -- when will Callie be home?"  
  
"She just texted me a little while ago and she was out of surgery. So should be anytime."  
  
"Perfect."  
  
At that the older woman heads back down toward her room, depositing the towels and then swiftly turning around and coming back down toward the kitchen. I pull a chair out at the table where my dad and Sofia are playing the memory game and settle down -- since apparently I'm no longer allowed to lift a finger in my own home. From the minute we arrived at the house earlier, my mom had been insistent that I not do a thing, not carry a thing -- not even Sofia's minuscule backpack -- and had been coaxing me to glue myself into a seat and stay there.   
  
Never one to obey orders though, I push myself up and head toward the counter -- a cup of tea sounds like it will be somewhat of a distraction until Callie gets home to rescue me. I know she's just being herself -- she's always had killer maternal instincts, and the minute Tim or I so much as had a cold she would go into full mothering mode -- but it can be a bit much sometimes.  
  
"Oh honey, what are you looking for? Let me get that."  
  
She comes around the island and all but takes the kettle right out of my hands, going to the sink to fill it.  
  
"Mom. I'm  _fine_ , I can make a cup of tea."  
  
"Your leg looks like it's giving you some trouble, does it ache? -- just sit down, I'll bring this to you. I'm here for two days, Arizona, let me give you a break."  
  
"Is your leg bothering you again?"  
  
I turn when I hear Callie's voice enter the kitchen -- I didn't even hear the front door opening -- and roll my eyes a little as she drops her keys and phone on the counter before greeting both of my parents with hugs, and dropping a kiss on Sofia's head as she remains attentive to her game.  
  
"Again? I worried she might have trouble," my mom gets a mug and the tea out, addressing my wife now, "pregnancy can be hard on the body, and the joints, even in the early months. And with everything--"  
  
"Guys," I cut her off, coming over and taking the mug, "I am fine. My leg is fine. Can we just stop with the worrying?"  
  
"Arizona, I was just saying. I mean you're showing now, and it's going to grow quickly from here on out. It can be hard on the back, and the feet -- god knows, when I had you and Tim, my ankles were swollen to high heaven and they absolutely killed me some days."  
  
"Well, guess it's a good thing I only have one ankle to worry about, isn't it?"  
  
The kettle starts to whistle faintly so I grab it from the base, filling my mug and watching the tea bag bob a little in the steaming liquid before I speak again.  
  
"It's just, I know, mom. You forget that I experienced Callie going through all this. And I'm a doctor -- I know exactly how this works."  
  
I feel a warm hand land on my back, and Callie rubs over it soothingly, dark hair tickling my neck a little as she leans around me.  
  
"Hey," she speaks softly, "she's just worried, you know? You'd be like this if it was Sof."  
  
Sighing at my wife's gentle touch, I tug at the string on the tea bag a little before turning and looking up again.  
  
"I know. I'm sorry I got a little snappy -- I just don't want you fussing, mom. I'm really okay."  
  
The older woman comes around the island and sets down the ingredients she was carrying from the fridge, laying her hand on my forearm lightly with a comforting squeeze.   
  
"I know. You're always okay."  
  
She gives me a smile and gently shoos both of us out of the kitchen so she can start cooking, but Callie pulls me aside, wrapping her arms around my hips gently as I cradle my mug of tea between us.  
  
"Hey," she lowers her voice, dark eyes meeting mine, "you  _are_  okay though, right? You look like you're favouring your left a little."  
  
"It's a little swollen again today," I sigh softly in defeat, deciding there's no point lying to the brunette, "but it'll be fine. And I'm home now -- I've worked a twelve hour shift with worse, so this is nothing I can't handle."  
  
Callie instinctively slides her hand down my hip, thumb kneading a little into my upper thigh above where the prosthesis attaches.   
  
"Okay. Well I talked to Jason for you today and he'll see you Monday morning and figure out what needs adjusting. Maybe tonight if we get a little time to ourselves I can help you relax with a nice, warm bath."  
  
Her eyebrows curve up ever so slightly and her voice lingers softly over the words, bringing a smile to my face as I listen to her. Sometimes I think there's nothing the sound of her voice couldn't fix.  
  
"That sounds perfect."

 

  
*

 

  
The weekend goes by quickly, filled with walks to the park, an afternoon at the children's museum, and the inevitable shopping session with my mother for baby things. It's nice to have my parents around though, I have to admit. By the time Sunday evening rolls around my mom has put several dishes of lasagna in the freezer, and dad has fixed the bit of siding that came loose at the back of the house and trimmed all the shrubbery -- something that Callie and I just hadn't gotten around to dealing with yet this spring.  
  
They'd purchased another Disney movie for Sofia's collection too, and initial reactions showed she was absolutely enthralled by The Little Mermaid. So that would hopefully keep the little girl amused for the next few weeks to come.  
  
"Okay, little miss, time to come get ready for bed."  
  
I walk into the living room as her movie ends, leaving the other adults back in the kitchen where they're chatting over some wine and beer. I'm only a little jealous still about the fact that my precious wine is off limits.  
  
"Momma, Brownie Bear don't wanna go to bed yet."  
  
She holds up her favourite stuffed bear, his red bowtie a little askew from years of cuddling, and I study him seriously for a moment.  
  
"Are you sure?" I lean in, pressing my ear to the stuffed toy, "Brownie Bear just told me he's suuuuper tired."  
  
Sofia stifles a small yawn, brow furrowed a little bit, and wraps her arms tightly around her companion once more.  
  
"Well, okay if Brownie is tired I guess we can go."  
  
Grinning a little at her serious tone, I nod and lean down to scoop her off the couch, bear and all. She wraps her free arm around me and snuggles close, her little face pressing into the side of my neck as she tries to hide another yawn, and I can't help the way my heart swells with love for our tiny little human. She has genuinely been the light of my life since the moment I first touched her in that operating room, and it doesn't matter how old she gets, that much will never change.   
  
We head down to the kitchen and she says her goodnights to everyone, and then I carry her down the hall to her bedroom, getting her settled in the new "big-girl" bed we'd purchased just a few weeks ago.   
  
"When is my baby gonna be here?"  
  
A chuckle escapes me as I sit on the edge of the mattress, pulling the blankets up over her and her various stuffed animals. I've honestly been surprised at Sofia's easy acceptance and excitement about this new baby. It's all kinds of adorable.  
  
"Not until August, sweetie. Still a little while."  
  
She sits up in bed again, wriggling forward until she can press her palms to my stomach. As my pregnancy has become more noticeable, her interest has become even greater -- she's both intrigued and a little confused by the whole process, I think.  
  
"Wanna see?"  
  
I pull my t-shirt up and she grins, her little hands eagerly exploring the growing swell of my midsection. She's gentle, as if she instinctively knows she should be, but she pats it lightly, her eyes alight with curiosity.  
  
"Can it feel?" she squeezes her hands a little on either side, watching the bump as if for some kind of reaction, "What does it do in there?"  
  
"Right now, it's just growing every day," I smile, watching her, "but when it gets bigger, the baby will be able to hear us, and you'll even be able to feel it moving around."  
  
At that the little girl giggles, flopping back down into bed and wrapping her arms around her bear again. She yawns loudly, and I tug her covers up again, securely them snugly around her.  
  
"Babies are funny."  
  
" _You're_  funny," I lean in and kiss her softly, rubbing my hand a few times along her blanket-covered back before I get up, "goodnight, baby girl."  
  
I turn her butterfly nightlight on before turning out the lights, and I pull the door halfway shut as I quietly make my way out and head back toward the sound of voices at the other end of the house. Truthfully, I could just go to bed myself right now, but my parents will be taking off in the morning when we head to work, so I'll spend a little more time in their company before saying goodnight.  
  
Callie looks up as I enter the kitchen and make my way back over to the table, and I slide my hand along the back of her neck softly before going around to the empty chair.  
  
"She all good for the night?"  
  
"I think so," I pull my mug over and peer into the remnants of my tea, now cold, but take a sip anyway, "she was pretending she wasn't tired, but I think she'll be out like a light in a few minutes."  
  
"You were always like that when you were her age," my mom chuckles softly, "every night, insisted she wasn't tired  _at all_  -- tried to bargain her way into extra stories. Tried to bribe me at least a few times. And then after awhile her and her brother would team up and so help me, sometimes it was just easier to give in."  
  
I can see Callie shoot me a grin, and the brunette bites her lip a little to hold back whatever comment she was going to make. It's true though, I can't deny it -- Sofia definitely gets her bargaining skills from me too.  
  
"Hey," I pipe up, "at least we kept each other out of trouble. Mostly."  
  
The older woman just raises her eyebrow slightly, but I maintain my stance of innocence when she replies.   
  
"Two is so much different than one though."  
  
My wife turns to me then, only a slight trace of amusement still gracing her expression.  
  
"We were talking a few minutes ago about how it seems like adding an extra kid won't be that bad...but your mom was saying it's more work than you'd expect."  
  
"Granted," my mom continues, finishing her glass of wine, "your two will be further apart in age, so it might be different. Sofia's old enough to help take care of things, whereas I basically had two babies on my hands at the same time. And Daniel was gone most of the time, too."  
  
“Did what I had to do, Barbara.”  
  
She swats his arm a little and I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes at this oh-so-familiar argument.  
  
“I’m not  _complaining_  I’m just  _saying_. Besides, all I’m saying is that going from one to two is a big adjustment. And with the girls’ jobs it’s going to be very busy around here for awhile.”  
  
“Yeah, but with you here for the first few months I think it’ll make things a lot easier.”  
  
I blink, looking up from my mug suddenly. What did my wife just say?  
  
“What?”  
  
The brunette turns to me with a smile, holding her hand out toward me on the table.  
  
“Your mom said she’d come and stay with us for two or three months when the baby’s born – you know, to help you out, take care of the baby, help around the house with Sofia and kindergarten and everything.”  
  
I look over toward my mother with what I’m sure is a slightly bewildered expression, but the older woman is just smiling in agreement. She hadn't mentioned that to me at all this weekend.  
  
“I knew you’d never ask, Arizona, but we’ll come up a week or two before you’re due, and then I’ll stay afterwards. Your father is teaching that course at the recruiting camp in September anyway, and he can survive a few weeks without me at home.”  
  
“Whoa, wait...mom,” I look at Callie, but for some reason she doesn’t seem to share my confusion, “I mean, we appreciate that offer....a lot, but we don’t need you to come and stay for a few months. It’s one baby, we’ll be okay.”  
  
“Honey...” my wife frowns a little, taking my hand, “it’s one baby, but remember how crazy it got with Sofia sometimes? I mean and we had Mark then, we were three people – and we still went a little nuts some days when she was a newborn.”  
  
I can’t believe Callie has actually agreed to this. I love my mom, I absolutely love her, but I really don’t think I want to live under the same roof with her again. I haven’t since I was eighteen and our relationship is much better that way. And I certainly don’t want to live in the same house as The Colonel again on any kind of permanent basis.  
  
“Callie...” I lower my voice a little, turning towards her, “we can handle this on our own. It’s not like we’re having triplets.”  
  
“Arizona, sweetie, I know you two have done this before but just let me help.”  
  
I sigh inwardly, running a hand back through my hair. I know she means well, but I just...I know if she’s here for weeks at a time we’re going to start to butt heads.  
  
“Mom, I know you want to help. I want you here too...but maybe for a week or two, okay? You really don’t have to stay longer than that. Besides, you can’t send dad home to California on his own – god, you know he’s just going to eat takeout every night.”  
  
“I can cook, young lady.”  
  
I roll my eyes, giving him a distinct look.  
  
“But you won’t. I’m just saying, mom – we’re going to be fine. I’ll have time off, Callie’s going to get some time off. And I mean, Sofia will be in full-time kindergarten this fall so she won’t even be home all day.”  
  
“Arizona--“ Callie bites her lip a little, glancing at me again, “I told her it sounded like a great idea...”  
  
“You wouldn’t let us come and help after the accident, honey, so let me help with the baby.”  
  
I don’t know if it’s the extra hormones, or my exhaustion, or the fact that they’ve just sprung this upon me and apparently Callie already decided to say yes – but I can feel my frustration mounting in a way it hasn’t in a very long time.  
  
“That is neither here nor there.”  
  
My mom – both my parents – had wanted to come and stay in Seattle after the plane crash, after my amputation when I was recovering at home. Callie had thought it might be a good idea then too, especially after she had to return to work, but I wouldn’t have it. It was one of the many things we’d argued bitterly about those first few months.  
  
“Sweetie—“  
  
“Would you be offering if I still had both legs?”  
  
I know it’s a weak argument and the words are coming out with a more bitter note than intended, but it’s a valid point in my mind.  
  
“I’m not an invalid, mom. All weekend you’ve been worried over me and the leg, the leg and the pregnancy – both of you,” I look at Callie a little pointedly too, “and I know, I  _know_  you’re concerned, I know it might be a little more difficult, but I don’t need taking care of! I will be fine. And when the baby is born, I will also be fine – just because I have one goddamn leg doesn’t mean I need all this extra help to care for my child.”  
  
I let go of the mug I’ve been clenching a little tightly between my hands and push my chair back from the table, standing up. At this point I don’t even care that I’m being a little irrational – and I probably am – but the past two days of constantly being asked how I am have been grating on the nerves.  
  
“Arizona,” Callie gets up and goes to grab my arm, “that’s not what we meant and you know it.”  
  
“Isn’t it?”  
  
I pull out of her reach, shaking my head as I step back from the table.  
  
“They came to stay for one week after Sofia was born, and it was great, it was genuinely a help, but I’m sorry Callie – our lives were a lot more stressful then. I mean for one, I didn’t know if my baby was going to  _have_  her other mom, or if I was going to be a single mother with Mark. I didn’t even know some days if I would  _have_  a baby to bring home, and somehow I managed. And they only stayed for a weekend after we did bring her home, and we survived just fine after that too.”  
  
I swipe at my eyes quickly, cursing the hormonal state that brings me to tears over everything these days.  
  
“Compared to when Sofia was born, this baby is going to be a piece of cake. I appreciate it,” I turn to my mother, letting out a soft sigh, “I really do, mom – but we’re going to be fine.”  
  
Callie hasn’t said anything, but she looks distinctly guilty as she glances briefly at the older woman still seated at the table.  
  
“And you could have asked me, Calliope. I disappear for fifteen minutes to put our daughter to bed and suddenly my parents are moving in with us?!”  
  
Shaking my head with a slight growl of frustration to myself, I turn and head out of the kitchen.  
  
“I’m tired, I’m going to bed. I’ll see everyone in the morning.”  
  
"Arizona--"  
  
Callie's soft call makes me hesitate a moment, but I'm tired, and now I'm frustrated, and all I want right now is to curl up in bed and pretend this week didn't just end in a fight. We were doing so well.  
  
"I'll see you in bed, Callie."

 

  
*


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be one of my favourite chapters yet. Let me know what you think. :)

_"Arizona--"  
  
Callie's soft call makes me hesitate a moment, but I'm tired, and now I'm frustrated, and all I want right now is to curl up in bed and pretend this week didn't just end in a fight. We were doing so well.  
  
"I'll see you in bed, Callie."_

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
We haven't really fought over anything since we got back together. Nothing more than inconsequential bickering about who forgot to buy milk, or who was supposed to pick up Sofia, who's fault it was that we were running late in the morning -- mostly all occurring after one or both of us was coming off a long shift, with emotions exhausted and patience in short supply.  
  
But tonight, I know my wife is angry; truly angry. At me.   
  
And honestly, after giving it some more thought and talking it through again with Barbara, I can admit that she's angry with good reason. I really hadn't thought it through when her mom generously offered to help us out with the baby; and I hadn't even realized that here I was again, making a decision for the both of us without once consulting Arizona. I mean -- Barbara's her mom. She's  _my_  mom. At the time, it had just seemed like a simple decision.  
  
I sigh, pausing outside our bedroom a little while later before I nudge the door open and step inside. To my surprise, the bedside lamps are still on, and my eyes immediately trail to the blonde woman still sitting up in bed, wide awake.  
  
"Hey...listen, I didn't mean-- "  
  
"Callie, don't," she sighs, tiredly running a hand over her face as she looks over at me, "can you just come here?"  
  
"No, Arizona..." I pad over towards my side of the bed, quickly changing into the over-sized t-shirt tossed carelessly on my pillow, "I'm sorry."  
  
I drop my clothes in the hamper and climb onto the bed, sitting up so I'm facing her. Her blue eyes glance at me with a hint of surprise, but she waits for me to continue this time.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't even really think about it before...but I shouldn't have made that decision without you. I talked to your mom just now and told her I didn't think it was the best plan after all. Maybe we can talk about it more later though..."  
  
I trail off, biting my lip a little.   
  
"Or I mean, whatever we decide."  
  
A soft sigh escapes into the silence between us, and I glance down when I feel Arizona's hand slide onto my thigh.  
  
"I'm sorry too."  
  
"No, you have nothing to be sorry for-- "  
  
"Calliope," she interrupts me, her hand squeezing lightly, "we promised that we wouldn't go to sleep anymore and leave things unresolved. I don't want to. And I  _am_  sorry; I kind of blew up out there."  
  
I nod a little, meeting her eyes again.  
  
"I get why you did though."  
  
"I know," she continues, "but I'm still sorry for yelling at you...and mom," she pauses slightly, sighing heavily, "I'll talk to her in the morning."  
  
"I think she gets it too. She'd really like to come and stay for a bit though -- and...I do kind of want her here, if you're open to it. I mean...she's my mom too, you know? She's the only mom I have, and I didn't get to experience any of that newborn stuff with Sofia, not really. I think it'd be nice to have her around."  
  
Arizona smiles a little.  
  
"It would be. Maybe just...more like two weeks, instead of months though? We still have time to figure it out."  
  
I cover her hand with my own, a smile forming on my lips, and I can see all traces of irritation are gone from the eyes looking back at me. A year ago, none of this would have ended so calmly. I don't know why it seemed so hard back then.   
  
"So..." I link my fingers with hers, "we're actually not fighting about this anymore?"  
  
The blonde laughs softly, turning off her lamp and shifting in the bed to settle on her back under the covers.  
  
"We're not fighting anymore."  
  
"And you're not mad anymore? Honestly?"  
  
I reach over and switch my bedside lamp off too before slinking down beside her, curling onto my side just inches from her body.  
  
"I'm not mad anymore, " she turns her head, and I just make out a faint smile in the darkness of the room, "look at us, right? When did we start handling arguments like rational, mature adults?"  
  
I just snuggle over, burrowing my face into the crook of her neck and grinning against the soft skin there, my arm curving protectively around her waist. We're both stubborn, argumentative people by nature, and it used to be one of the biggest failures in our relationship -- one of the things that tore us apart -- but I feel a profound sense of relief wash over me at the realization the we truly  _have_  changed. Now I know that more than ever.  
  
"It's about damn time."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Three Weeks Later_ **

  
"Can somebody page Karev?"  
  
I inspect the titanium rod I've just finished inserting in my patient's forearm, re-checking the work I've done over the last four hours to ensure he's going to regain full use of this arm. It's been a delicate surgery -- it was a crush injury, and this was his second time under -- but I'm confident that this final procedure should set him on the course to recovery.  
  
"Our patient's twenty-nine, why do we need Karev?"  
  
Dr. Edwards hands me a tool and I start making a slight adjustment to one of the screws.  
  
"It's personal. Now watch how I'm doing this."  
  
The younger doctor instantly snaps back into her focused stance and watches carefully as I make a minor adjustment, and I patiently explain the steps, knowing that she'll soak up every tip and remember it. Edwards had only declared her specialty to be ortho a few months ago, but she was the star I'd been waiting for -- she was a brilliant mind, and she was dedicated to her work. She was also a fast learner. I'd had a couple residents in and out of my service over the years -- all of whom had eventually retracted and chosen something else -- but I know Edwards is serious about it, so I'm willing to put every effort into teaching her.  
  
A few minutes later, the gentle swoosh of the OR doors sound, and Alex appears at the side of the room, mask held over his face.  
  
"You paged? You need a hand?"  
  
"Hey," I glance up, "no, can you do something for me though?"  
  
The peds surgeon shrugs, waiting.  
  
"We're soon done in here, but," I glance up at the clock, "Arizona has an ultrasound in...ten minutes. Will you go find her upstairs? Tell her I'm on my way. Try and get them to wait."  
  
He rolls his eyes slightly, shifting his stance.  
  
"That's it? Why didn't you just have someone text her?"  
  
"Because this is important, Alex! Will you just go and let her know?"  
  
I hand the screwdriver to Edwards and let her do another adjustment, watching carefully.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, ok," Karev's reply sounds reluctant, but I know he doesn't really mind, "I'll let her know."  
  
He disappears out of the room and I continue watching as the young doctor in front of me expertly secures the last screw, her handle on the instrument firm, but gentle enough to perfectly attach the bone without crumbling it.  
  
"Good work, Edwards, that's it."  
  
"So big ultrasound today, huh?" she works intently, eyes never straying from the patient, "you guys going to find out what you're having?"  
  
I smile to myself, thinking of my wife's excitement from this morning at the prospect of seeing our son or daughter today.  
  
"Yeah. I mean, I hope it's a baby," I joke -- I can't help it, "but I mean if it's a puppy or something I wanna be prepared."  
  
Edwards snorts a little, retracting from the patient and setting her tool aside.  
  
"Here's hoping. Hey, are you going to take time off after the birth or...? I mean obviously Dr. Robbins has her mat leave but..."  
  
She casually throws the question out there as I inspect her work, running my gloved finger gently along the areas where metal attaches to bone.  
  
"Robbins-Torres. And I'll be taking parental leave with her, twelve weeks," I reply, finally satisfied with the reconstructed arm in front of us, "but I plan to have Carlson take you on his service, so he'll still be teaching you while I'm away."  
  
I set the tools back on the surgical tray and our scrub nurse replaces it with the instruments needed to close up the incisions. I glance up to see Edwards make what looks like a slight face behind her mask.  
  
"He's not as good as you."  
  
A couple of soft chuckles sound from the nurses behind us, and I try to hold back a comment -- I mean, she's  _right_ , but I don't want to say that out loud.  
  
"He's a good surgeon, though. Besides, it'll be good for you -- a different perspective. And by then I expect to have you doing some surgeries with minimal supervision anyway."  
  
I toss my reply back just as casually, but I see the other woman's eyes light up for a quick moment at the idea. I grin behind my mask, glancing up at the clock again. I'll only be about twenty minutes late -- I hope Arizona was able to delay her appointment.  
  
"You good to close up here? Get him into a brace after and make sure you stabilize the arm against the bed for the first twenty-four hours."  
  
"I got it," she nods confidently, coming around to switch sides with me, "I'll send you an update when he's in recovery. And I'll take care of your rounds after. Go and take your time."  
  
"Thanks," I snap my gloves off carefully and hand them to a nurse, "good work today, doctor."  
  
Heading out into the scrub room I rid myself of surgical gown and mask and get myself scrubbed out, hastily drying my hands before I push open the door and hurry down the hall to the elevators that will take me up to the maternity floor.   
  
It's time to meet my baby.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
"Dude, she will be here -- in a few minutes probably! Just chill already."  
  
When I saw Alex coming down the hall of the maternity ward half an hour ago, I knew it wasn't going to be good news. I mean, I knew Callie was in surgery this morning -- and logically, I knew there was a chance it might take longer than expected, and I know it's not her fault -- but I really just don't want her to miss this. And Dr. Neale is a busy woman; she's already doing us a favour by performing these ultrasounds herself and not sticking us with some technician, and we can't just expect her to postpone appointments and reschedule things and...  
  
"Seriously, chill."  
  
I look down when I feel Alex's hand drop firmly onto my anxiously jittering thigh. He squeezes lightly once he sees that he's gotten my attention and gives me a smile.  
  
"You're gonna see your kid today. And for real -- not just that grainy blob of a first ultrasound. It actually looks like a kid by now."  
  
Unable to help a smile from tugging at my own lips, I meet his eyes and laugh softly.  
  
"Yeah, definitely not just a blob anymore."  
  
He chuckles at his own humour, leaning back in the plastic chair and stretching an arm out over the back of mine. I know he didn't have to stay and wait with me, and I know there's probably a million other places he'd rather be right now, but I'm glad he decided to anyway. He's a good friend.  
  
"You're going to find out what it is, right?"  
  
"We are. We both couldn't wait to know; it was never a question."  
  
"My money's on girl," he slouches comfortably in his seat, "You better not make everyone wait and do some lame colour-coded Pinterest cake or something though."  
  
Glancing sideways, I just raise my eyebrow slightly in amusement.  
  
"Do I look like the Pinterest cake kind of girl? And since when do you even know what that is?"  
  
"You totally do. You probably have a secret board."  
  
I wait for an answer to my second question, eyebrow quirking again as he glances at me.  
  
"Some kid on the floor was uh...showing me her page or whatever. She's sixteen. She wanted advice on prom stuff."  
  
"From you?" I can't help but laugh, "oh, I wish I had been there to overhear that conversation."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
A comfortable silence falls over us then, only the sounds of footsteps and faint chatter coming from around the corner. I study the print on the wall across from us, my fingers starting to tap out a slightly nervous rhythm again on my leg.  
  
"Sometimes I still have doubts about myself as a mother -- is that crazy? I mean, am I going to know what to do in ten years when Sofia starts thinking about proms and dances and things? And now we're going to have  _two_  kids."  
  
I continue my study of the framed print, and I feel the shift of the younger man's shoulders as he shrugs a little against me.  
  
"No, probably not. But you'll figure it out, cause you're a great mom. You're only crazy if you think that's not true."  
  
His reply catches my attention, and I turn to look at him. He just shrugs again in that nonchalant way he has, his lips curving upwards into half a smile.  
  
"Trust me, I know shitty parenting. You don't need to doubt yourself."  
  
I hum in acknowledgement, giving him a small smile as I relax back in my seat a bit.  
  
"What do you think of the name Rachel?"  
  
He pauses briefly, considering before he replies.  
  
"Eh, take it or leave it. I dated a Rachel once and she was kind of a bitch -- freaking hot in bed, though."  
  
I instinctively smack him on the chest, earning a low grunt and an exclamation of surprise.  
  
"What!"  
  
The elevator dings just down the hall, and I look over as the doors open, my expression lighting up when I see the dark-haired woman who steps out and turns toward us, her face breaking out into a grin as she catches me hitting him a second time.  
  
"I leave you two alone for twenty minutes."  
  
Alex hops up and rolls his eyes, straightening his white lab coat.  
  
"I didn't even do anything."  
  
Callie leans down to kiss me, murmuring an apology about being late, and she settles into the now-empty seat at the same time that her arm wraps loosely around my shoulders.  
  
"I'll let them know you're both here," Alex thumbs toward the desk, "let me know how it goes, okay? I gotta prepare for my future babysitting duties after all."  
  
Callie chuckles softly as he heads off, the hand that's draped over my shoulder playing lightly with my collar.  
  
"We're asking him to be godfather, right?"  
  
I watch his retreating form as he rounds the corner and look up at my wife with a grin.  
  
"Absolutely."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I start telling Arizona all about my surgery, excited over how well Edwards had done in there today, but we don't wait long before Dr. Neale rounds the corner with her usual smile, tablet tucked under her arm.  
  
"Surgery went well, Callie?"  
  
"Great, actually," I get up when Arizona does, "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting though."  
  
The other doctor just shakes her head, motioning with her hand for us to follow her into the exam room.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I had some phone calls to make that I'd been putting off -- most notably one to the principal of my kids' school. You two forced me to actually get that done."  
  
I watch as Arizona slips off her lab coat and I take it from her, helping her up as she sits on the exam table and lays back.  
  
"That's never a good call."  
  
"Yeah," she chuckles lightly, shaking her head, "there was a slight incident last week. My son decided to sneak in during recess and finger-paint the wall of the classroom. Personally, I'm calling it the creative process."  
  
"Oh god," Arizona laughs as she tugs up her scrub top, "that sounds like something our daughter would do. Right after we moved into our new house, she created a Crayola masterpiece all the way down the hall."  
  
"I mean, the house  _did_  need a splash of colour," I contribute, grinning at my wife, "she wasn't wrong."  
  
Dr. Neale pulls the ultrasound screen closer and sets up the machine, waiting as it whirs to life, and I smooth my fingers through blonde tresses, waiting anxiously by the head of the table.  
  
"Your daughter is five now?"  
  
"Four," I smile, thinking of our little Picasso, "five next month though."  
  
"That's such a great age, isn't it? You're smart that you spaced your kids out like this. Dealing with a toddler and a newborn was one of the craziest things I've ever done -- and in this field, that's saying something."  
  
I glance down at Arizona, sensing her gaze on me, but she just gives me a reassuring smile, reaching up a little so she can tangle our fingers together. Jacqueline has only been in Seattle for a year or so -- she's probably the one person in this hospital who doesn't know the full details of our somewhat tumultuous relationship, and that we didn't exactly choose to plan our family this way. I know Addison told her a bit about us before we came to see her, but Addie's not one to divulge personal stories that aren't hers to tell.  
  
"Yeah..." I curve my lips into a little smile, watching as she squirts the cool gel onto the blonde's stomach, "I'm sure it'll make things a little easier."  
  
The other doctor grabs the ultrasound wand and slowly eases it over Arizona's rounded stomach, watching the screen as the grainy black and white image begins to take shape.   
  
"You want to know the sex today, correct?"  
  
"We do."  
  
My wife answers immediately, looking up at me for a final confirmation, and I just grin down at her, nodding my head.  
  
"Absolutely. Hey but," I touch my hand to a smooth jaw, forcing her to look back up at me, "you're going to know the second you see this picture appear. No cheating."  
  
"Callie!" she laughs softly, trying not to move, and rolls her eyes slightly as I raise my eyebrow, "You can read an ultrasound too!"  
  
"Not as easily as you can. I do bones. I'm liable to mistake a foot for a penis."  
  
"Well..."  
  
We both look up expectantly when Dr. Neale speaks again, and I tighten my fingers around the slightly smaller ones tangled with them, suddenly nervous and excited all at once to hear what she's about to say.  
  
"You won't have to worry about that, because looks like you two have another daughter."  
  
I can feel my eyes widen as I look at the screen, a grin tugging instantly at the corners of my mouth.  
  
"Oh my god. We're having a girl?"  
  
The doctor grins at us, stilling her hand for a moment to let us have a clear picture on the monitor. She reaches over carefully to hit the button for a screen capture, and I just stare as I watch the faint movements of the tiny body in front of us.   
  
"You're having a girl -- congratulations."  
  
My eyes fall to meet Arizona's, and she meets my gaze with a delighted grin and nothing but happiness radiating from her face. It suddenly seems so much more...real. This is really happening for us. We're having another baby girl. A baby girl who I can suddenly picture as the spitting image of my wife, all dimples and smiles and oh god -- I hope she has her eyes.  
  
The doctor takes a few more minutes, moving the ultrasound wand slowly to see the baby from every angle, conducting a careful exam before she stops to speak again.  
  
"And looks like she's doing well in there. Growth pattern is normal, her positioning is good -- the placenta is looking healthy. She's moving around quite a bit too; you'll probably start to feel that any day now, Arizona."  
  
She reaches forward again and turns on the sound, a rapid heartbeat quickly filling the room as the heart rate monitor kicks in.  
  
"She's got a strong heartbeat," Arizona looks up at me again, "listen to that."  
  
"She does," Dr. Neale nods in agreement, seemingly satisfied with the numbers and rhythm that appear along the second monitor on the machine, "sounds like an energetic little one already."  
  
She leaves the sound on for us, pulling over her tablet to make a few entries on the chart.  
  
"Did you get the results of the amnio from last week?"  
  
Arizona watches the screen as she voices her question, her hand lightly running along the side of her stomach.  
  
"I did -- I was just about to pull those up for you. All tests came back perfectly normal, so you have nothing to worry about."  
  
I can sense the blonde letting out a soft sigh of relief and I rub her shoulders softly, leaning in to drop a kiss on her forehead. Everything is perfect.  
  
After entering a few more notes on the chart, the brunette doctor presses a few buttons on the monitor to go back to her screen capture, and the machine hums to life as an image is printed off for us. She carefully wipes off Arizona's skin and smiles at us both, getting up from her stool.  
  
"I do want to schedule you in for a fourth ultrasound in seven or eight weeks, just because of your age. Just a check in again to make sure baby girl continues to grow as she should, and that you're not experiencing any problems yourself. But everything looks great, Arizona, so just keep on doing what you have been."  
  
She picks up the printed image and hands it to the blonde, and I gaze down at it, smiling again at the perfect, beautiful image of our baby.  
  
"Take your time in here, I don't have anyone coming in for a bit."  
  
Dr. Neale smiles, squeezing my wife's arm and again voicing her congratulations, and she slips out of the room behind me -- I barely notice though, my attention remaining focused on the printout below. It's incredible.  
  
"Another girl, Calliope..." Arizona speaks after a moment, her voice soft now, almost reverent, "we're going to have two daughters."  
  
I smile, dropping another kiss on her temple as she shifts and sits up on the edge of the table. I move to stand in front of her, my hands sliding over her rounded stomach softly, unable to resist embracing the little one nestled inside. All I wanted was a healthy child -- obviously -- but the idea of having a little girl that looks like my wife has left me ecstatic.  
  
"My mini Arizona. I can't wait."  
  
The blonde laughs softly, pushing herself up and pulling her scrub top back down into place. She leans in and kisses me, her lips curving into a smile against mine, and then she holds the printed photo up between us. Her expression changes to somewhat more of a smirk, and her blue eyes sparkle mischievously as she looks at me.  
  
"You owe me fifty bucks."

 

  
*

 

  
She makes me pay up, too. Of course she does.  
  
I fold the cash into her hand once we're downstairs in the attendings' locker room and she grins triumphantly, sliding it into the side pocket of her purse.  
  
"Told you."  
  
"You are getting way too much satisfaction out of this," I laugh, tugging her closer for a chaste kiss, "so competitive."  
  
"Mm," she sighs against me, returning the kiss a little more forcefully, "why do you think the sex is so good?"  
  
Smirking a little as I let her go, I watch as she pulls her scrub top over her head, tossing it into the bottom of her locker before reaching for her street clothes. She no longer wears her usual tank tops under her scrubs -- because they don't really fit anymore -- so I get a pleasant eyeful of her semi-naked torso in the process.  
  
"How's your patient from this morning? Are you done for the day?"  
  
Eyes snapping up from where they were unabashedly staring at the blonde's cleavage, I watch as she pulls the lightweight tunic sweater down over herself and then pushes off the navy scrub pants.  
  
"What? Oh, yeah -- I'm not on this afternoon. I mean, barring an emergency of course, but he was in good shape. I don't expect any problems."  
  
Arizona pulls on a pair of black leggings, settling the waist band underneath her round belly, and looks up with a smile.  
  
"I think I finally need to break down and get some maternity clothes; I have some meetings next week and leggings may not be entirely appropriate. You wanna come shopping?"  
  
I just look her over, taking her in for a moment as she fluffs her hair out from under the collar of her sweater.  
  
"For you, anything."

 

  
*

 

  
"Here, try these on. You need a pair of jeans too."  
  
I hold up a nice pair of dark skinny jeans before draping them over the dress pants on Arizona's outstretched arm. She's collected another top -- royal blue with some stylish ruching along the sides -- and she adds it to the small pile as well.  
  
"Ooh and this," turning, I run my hands over a gorgeous dark red top on the wall rack, "I love this colour on you."  
  
I rifle through and pick out her size, handing it to her, and she grins at me as she adds it over her arm.  
  
"Okay I think that's probably enough for now. I really only need a few nice outfits for work -- a lot of my casual tops I can still wear."  
  
"Okay, go try stuff on then. I'm just going to browse. Text me if you want an opinion though."  
  
The blonde walks off toward the dressing rooms at the back of the store and I meander further along the perimeter, browsing through all the new spring styles that are out. I come across a selection of dresses and one catches my eyes -- a beautiful dark purple number with a subtle abstract pattern in a slightly lighter shade. It's sleeveless and wraparound style on top, creating a stylish v-neck, and the material is soft and flowy when I run it through my hands. It would look amazing on my wife.  
  
Finding her size, I grab one and head to the back, smiling at the sales girl on my way.  
  
"Arizona, honey?"  
  
"In here!"  
  
I walk to the stall at the end and drape the dress up over the door.  
  
"Try this too, and let me see."  
  
The fabric disappears over the door as she grabs it, and I settle into one of the cushy chairs in the middle of the room to wait. That purple dress will be perfect for date night -- something we haven't done in far too long.  
  
"Everything else looks good," her muffled voice comes from behind the door, "the pants are oddly comfortable, you were right. Despite the fact that they almost come up to my boobs at the front."  
  
Grinning to myself as I scroll through my phone, I can just picture her face as she tried them on.  
  
"I told you. I could just wear maternity jeans all the time. Way more comfy."  
  
A few minutes later the door creaks open, and I look up to see Arizona modeling the dress, a smile tugging at her lips as she smooths the material down a bit.  
  
"What do I need a dress for?"  
  
She is breathtaking. The colour makes her eyes seem even bluer, and the cut and material of the dress fall perfectly over her curves, gently accentuating her new body.  
  
"For dinner on Saturday. I'm taking you out," I hold up my phone a little, still gazing at her, "just made a reservation at Marron."  
  
The name of the French restaurant where we once went during the early months of our relationship sparks her memory, and she quirks an eyebrow curiously, her smile widening.  
  
"I can afford more than sandwiches now," I grin, "don't worry."  
  
"Wouldn't matter. I still love the girl who has the sandwiches."  
  
She disappears back into the changing room and shuts the door, but the grin plastered on my face doesn't fade -- it's likely to be there all night, if I'm honest.  
  
"You look beautiful, by the way. How'd I get so lucky?"  
  
Blonde hair emerges a few minutes later, the smaller woman appearing in my field of vision as I glance at my phone again.  
  
"It was the leather jacket. Definitely the leather jacket."  
  
"Hm," I get up, pocketing the phone and grabbing my bag, "really?"  
  
"I mean, it was a lot of things," she leads the way out to the registers, "but the very first time I saw you -- yeah. You were walking in the front doors of the hospital with Cristina, and you looked like you were arguing about something...there was this...this fiery air about you. But you were dressed in black jeans, and a purple top, and those moto boots I always really loved. And you had this sort of badass-in-a-leather-jacket look. But then you went off on your own to the coffee cart -- the one that used to be right in the lobby -- and when you were waiting alone I remember your eyes just looking...sad. Defeated, almost. I thought you were stunning though."  
  
The saleswoman rings up the person in front of us, and we shuffle forward a step.  
  
"That was my first day, actually. I was waiting at the desk for Bailey to show me around."  
  
I cast my eyes to her face, feeling my chest constrict a little with surprise.  
  
"Your first day? You'd been working at the hospital for three months before we went on our first date."  
  
My wife shrugs lightly, her smile softening into something more genuine as she glances up at me.  
  
"I had asked around about you. I waited to pick the right moment."  
  
She steps up to the counter then and sets her clothes down, chatting lightly with the cashier as she rings up the purchases and processes the transaction. I just lean off to the side watching her, the words echoing in my head as my heart beats just a little bit faster -- my love for her having somehow grown even more in the last sixty seconds. Arizona Elizabeth Robbins. I really  _don't_  know how I lucked out with her. She draws me from my thoughts when her arm curls around mine, and I just smile, taking the shopping bag from her to carry in my other hand as we head back out into the mall.  
  
"Let's get something for Sofia."  
  
She points at the bookstore across the way, shifting her arm away and sliding her hand down to clasp mine warmly instead. I squeeze it gently, glancing sideways to meet blue eyes that are watching me intently, and impulsively I lean in and capture her lips in a soft kiss. I don't care how I got this lucky -- I just know that I am.  
  
"I love you."


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to state for the record, I don't speak Spanish at all beyond asking where the bathroom and the airport are. So my translations here are courtesy of Google Translate and I apologize if they're a little off.
> 
> And, for any fellow Canadians -- Happy Thanksgiving this weekend!

**_Arizona_ **

  
I'm woken up a few days later by the faint dip and jostle of the bed, small hands reaching for purchase and tugging at the blankets as Sofia climbs up over my legs. Opening one eye blearily, I watch as she straddles my thighs -- since her usual place on my stomach is unattainable -- and plunks herself down to sit on me.  
  
"Momma, you're up!"  
  
"Mm," I close my eyes again, "no I'm not. I'm sleeping."  
  
"You're not sleeping. I saw you."  
  
She leans up over me and squeezes my cheeks between her hands.  
  
"Mommaaaa."  
  
"Mmk I'm awake," I blink a few times, peering up at her with a small smile, "morning, baby."  
  
"I'm not the baby," she sits back, laying her hands on top of my belly, "this is the baby."  
  
I chuckle softly as her brow furrows, and I reach down to smooth her unruly bedhead a little, relishing the feel of her hair under my fingers. It's mostly straight, but it has waves like Calliope's, and has the same soft, silky texture too. She's looking so grown up these days. Over the last couple months her face has really changed, and her soft baby chub is shifting into a leaner, stronger little body. It makes me nostalgic for the time when she could fit into the crook of my arm; for a little head nestled against my chest, tiny fists grabbing at my necklace.  
  
"You'll always be my baby. Even when you're all grown up."  
  
"Why?"   
  
She looks at me curiously, playing with the fabric of my tank top now that she's pulled the covers down.  
  
"Because you were my  _first_  baby. And even when you're big and tall like me, I'll remember when you were this tiny."  
  
I show her with my hands, smiling at her as she giggles softly.  
  
"And because you are the most important person in my life, Sofia. You and your new sister. I am always,  _always_  going to love you both more than anything."  
  
She smiles, leaning up over me and giving me a sweet kiss.  
  
"I love you too, Momma. And I love new baby. She is in the way though."  
  
I can't help laugh at the adorable scrunch of her nose as she sighs down at the baby bump. Her usual manoeuvre anytime she finds me laying on my back has always been to stretch herself out on top of my body, head nestled under my chin. My expanding midsection has made that pretty impossible anymore though.  
  
"Well, she won't be in there forever."  
  
"I hope my sister likes to colour," she immediately perks up again, "do you think she likes to colour?"  
  
Sofia had been ecstatic the other day when we came home from shopping and told her at dinner that she was going to have a little sister. She'd been talking about it for weeks beforehand, asking us to make the baby a girl, and she hasn't stopped talking about it for the past four days either. I love how much she's embracing the idea of a sibling.  
  
"I don't know, sweetie. She won't be able to colour right away -- but I bet once she's old enough you can teach her."  
  
"Do you think she likes Curious George?" she looks down at my stomach, petting it lightly, "I have all of the books."  
  
"She'll love if you read your books to her. You could read to her now if you wanted."  
  
Small dark eyes look up at me, an eyebrow quirking curiously.  
  
"She isn't borned yet!"  
  
"She can hear us though," I smile, rubbing my hand lightly over my side, "she can hear us from all the way inside."  
  
"Really?"   
  
Her eyes widen, looking down again in surprise.  
  
"Yep, really. So if we talk to her, then when she's born she'll recognize our voices. I used to talk to you allllll the time when you were in mommy's belly."  
  
"You did? Did I know you were momma when I was born?"  
  
The sudden memory of Sofia's birth flashes into my mind -- both the best day of my life and also one of the worst. The first time I touched our daughter she was only as big as the palm of my hand. Her eyes didn't open until nearly two months later...but yet, when I think back to the hours and the endless nights spent sitting in the neonatal unit, I think she  _did_  know I was hers.  
  
"I think you did," I speak softly, reaching up to trail my thumb along her cheek, "and mommy too."  
  
She runs her hands along my abdomen, tracing back and forth over the rounded skin, a thoughtful look on her face.  
  
"Does my sister have a daddy? I had one."  
  
I knew that question was bound to come up at some point. Callie didn't think she would make the connection, but I know kids -- I've spent my career working with kids -- and I know they think of things we never dream they can comprehend. Sofia wasn't even two yet when Mark died, so she has no memory of him, but we've never tried to erase him from her life either. She has a picture of the two of them on her dresser, and there's a picture of the four of us on the bookshelf in the living room; the picture from the night we brought Callie and her home from the hospital. I may not have always gotten along with Mark, but he was her father, and he was kind of like family -- he loved her, and I'm never going to pretend otherwise.  
  
"No, she doesn't, sweetie. You were really special, having three parents."  
  
"I don't remember though."  
  
"That's okay."  
  
She pokes a finger lightly into my belly, curiosity lighting up in her eyes again.  
  
"What's my sister's name?"  
  
Now that is the question of the hour. We still have no idea.  
  
"Well..." I watch her, "she doesn't have a name yet. Mommy and I still have to decide."  
  
The little girl pauses then, frowning a bit.  
  
"Babies don't come with names?"  
  
A laugh bubbles up from my throat at the sheer seriousness of her tone, and I feel Callie shift in the bed beside me, rolling over to curl up closer with a sleepy mumble.  
  
"Do you think you had a little tag on your toe with your name on it?"   
  
I grin, reaching for her foot and tickling her toes lightly, and she lets out a peal of giggles, kicking my hand away.  
  
"My bear came with a name!"  
  
I reach for her hands, threading fingers with her and grinning as I cast a glance to my now definitely-awake wife.  
  
"We picked your name for you. And we're going to pick one for your sister soon too."  
  
"Can you pick Nala?"  
  
The Lion King had been my parents latest gift to her -- the newest in her growing Disney collection. Needless to say, it had already become a favourite.  
  
"Um...maybe. We'll definitely consider it."  
  
"Or Sparkles."  
  
Sparkles had been the name of a puppy in the pet store window at the mall last time we visited.  
  
"Mm yeah, I like that one."  
  
Callie's sleepy voice sounds from beside me, and I turn my head, eyebrow raising slightly in amusement.  
  
"Sparkles Torres," she says it thoughtfully, "that has a nice ring to it."  
  
Sofia beams happily, climbing off me to lean down and smooch her mother's cheek.  
  
"Morning, mommy!"  
  
The older brunette pulls her arm from underneath the covers and captures the girl in a hug, giggles ringing out as she squirms to get away after a minute.  
  
"I'm hungry now! And I wanna watch TV."  
  
She manages to pull away, and I roll to my side, patting her lightly on the bum.  
  
"Well it's Saturday, so you can have the cereal with the marshmallows if you want. And you can go watch cartoons for a little bit."  
  
"Mallows!"  
  
Her small face lights up and she scrambles to the end of the bed, hopping down.   
  
"Call if you need help with the milk, okay? Pour slowly."  
  
"I can do it," she beams at us and takes off out of the room, "don't worry!"  
  
Smiling to myself, I snuggle over a little closer to my wife, letting a small yawn escape me. Sofia's gotten pretty good at the whole cereal thing, so we may actually get another half hour of quiet time to ourselves this morning.  
  
"Sparkles, huh?"  
  
"Mm," she slides her hand under my tank top, her palm warm against my skin, "Sparkles Rainbow Torres."  
  
"Our child is going to be a lesbian stripper."  
  
Callie snorfles a little into the pillow before flashing me a grin and leaning in to kiss me.  
  
"I mean hey, I'll support whatever life choices she ends up making."  
  
She shifts down on the bed a bit, pushing my tank top over the bump and pressing a soft kiss just above my disappearing belly button. I watch as her lips linger for a moment, and she lightly kisses a few more spots as her hand caresses my stomach.  
  
"Good morning, baby girl."  
  
She speaks quietly, and a smile tugs at my lips. I smooth my hand over her dark hair, running soft strands through my fingers.  
  
"I love you, baby. I love you so much. And we won't give you a stripper name, I promise. We're going to come up with a really great name for you, because you're going to be awesome just like your momma."  
  
A sudden movement deep in my belly gives me pause, and I catch my breath for a moment, stilling my hand. It was faint, but it was  _definitely_  not just hungry stomach grumbling.  
  
Callie rubs her hand across my skin again, her thumb tracing soft circles against me, and I feel another few gentle movements -- unmistakable this time.  
  
"Holy crap, that is... _weird_."  
  
"What?" the brunette looks up, concern etching itself across her brow, "are you okay?"  
  
"I think...she's kicking me, Callie," I laugh as I feel it again, and press my own hand against my rounded midsection, "I can feel her."  
  
My wife's eyes widen instantly, a grin spreading across her face as she looks back toward my stomach.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Definitely. I felt a few flutters last week, but I couldn't really tell them apart from anything else. But she is definitely moving around in there right now."  
  
I can't help smile again at the look of awe on her face, and I cup her cheek, drawing her up until I can capture her lips against mine, kissing her sweetly. She sighs contentedly, sliding her hand along my neck, and I lose myself in her for a few long minutes before resting my head back against the pillow.  
  
"She must like her mommy's voice," I stroke a finger along her cheek, "just like me."  
  
"I hope she's a lot of things like you."  
  
The other woman shifts again so she's laying on her side facing me, her arm draping comfortably around my side.  
  
"I keep picturing this tiny version of you -- the hair, the eyes, those dimples," she grins a little, "as if Sofia's dimple isn't enough. I'm doomed."  
  
I laugh softly as she lets out a dramatic sigh.  
  
"Well, the dimples I can't say -- but she's not going to be a blonde, I'm afraid. That's pretty certain."  
  
"Hey, you don't know. My cousin Mariana was half and half, and she ended up with hair almost as light as yours. And those Robbins genes are strong -- you and Tim both look exactly like your mom."  
  
"Okay, well I suppose you never know."  
  
"I really hope she has your eyes though, that's what I'm holding out for."  
  
" _She_  needs a name," I grin, "we really should work on that soon."  
  
"Well, you don't like Sparkles so...Glitter?"  
  
"Callie, our child is not a character from the Hunger Games."  
  
"That was Glimmer. Shame on you, you're a kid doctor. You should know that."  
  
She rubs my lower back, her palm massaging slow circles over it, and I consider the names that have been rolling around in my head the last week. We've gone through so many and still just haven't found the right one, but yesterday I thought of something that I actually  _really_  like.  
  
"What about Audrey?" I look at her suddenly, "Audrey Rosa."  
  
The brunette glances up at me, pausing to consider for a moment, and her face takes on a thoughtful expression.  
  
"Audrey," she tests it out, letting the name slip slowly from her lips, "Audrey Torres. I...actually really like that. It's a beautiful name, but it sounds kind of badass too."  
  
"It's a little bit different -- I feel like you don't hear it very often. But it's still a classic."  
  
Callie hums softly, smoothing her hand up and down my side as she tests the name out a few more times. The more I hear it spoken out loud, the more I'm liking the sound of it on her lips. She's right; it sounds feminine, but also strong -- and it doesn't easily have a nickname, which is something I also like. And it just kind of fits with our family; Sofia and Audrey, Audrey and Sofia. I can picture introducing my children that way.  
  
"I kind of love it actually," I rub the front of my stomach, and feel a faint movement in response, "definite front-runner?"  
  
"No, I think it's perfect. I think that's her name."  
  
Silence falls over us and we rest comfortably for a few moments, limbs just tangled lazily together, and the faint sound of cartoons from the living room floats down the hall. Mornings like this are my favourite. I know in a little bit we'll get up and get some breakfast, and go curl up on the couch with Sofia, snuggling into a warm, cozy pile. Neither of us are on-call today, so we have nothing but time to relax together.  
  
"Do you want to give her Robbin as a middle name too?" Callie speaks again, contemplative, "I mean...Sofia got all of our names, and it wouldn't be that weird if they shared it, would it?"  
  
"I don't think it would be weird, no, but I also don't need them to -- I wouldn't want Sofia to think she has to share her name on top of everything else." I pause slightly, smiling at her, "Besides, don't forget that I'm a Torres now. So Audrey  _will_  have my name regardless."  
  
The brunette grins then, leaning in to press a light kiss to my lips.  
  
"Mm, you are. Have I ever mentioned how much I love that? It's my possessive caveman streak."  
  
"You do like hammering things and breaking bones."  
  
I can't help but laugh, although I'll willingly admit I kind of love her possessive streak -- mostly because I have one too.   
  
"Can't start a fire to save my life, though."  
  
"MOMMYYYY."  
  
I grin teasingly at my wife, rolling onto my back and arching into a stretch.  
  
"Looks like that's your cue. Will you make me hot chocolate?"  
  
I watch as she pushes herself up to sitting, mimicking me and raising her arms into a lengthy stretch.  
  
"Mm, of course. And French toast?"  
  
She climbs up and grabs the Hopkins zip-up hoodie that I'd abandoned on the chair last night, slipping it on over her pajamas. I close my eyes for just a moment longer, relishing the warmth of the bed before I get up to join her, and I hear Sofia calling again, a little more insistently this time. A warm pair of lips presses against my forehead and then I hear the soft sound of bare feet against the hardwood as my wife disappears out of the room.  
  
"Sounds amazing."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
"Momma, es detrás de la escuela! Se esconde!"  _(Momma, he's behind the school! He's hiding!)_  
  
"¿Es él?" Arizona peers at the screen and plays along, "¿Estas seguro?"  _(Is he? Are you sure?)_  
  
Sofia giggles, pointing at the television where one of her favourites, Dora the Explorer, is playing.  
  
"I see his botas rojas !"  _(I see his red boots!)_  
  
I grin at the little girl's excitement as she deduces the puzzle on the show, and at the seamless way she shifts into her second language; she's almost as fluent in Spanish already as she is in English, and it still floors me sometimes how smart she is. We're both really happy that she's picked it up so well, considering she doesn't hear it every day, and I absolutely adore that it's as important to my wife as it is to me.   
  
Arizona did speak a little Spanish when we met -- she'd taken it throughout high school -- but she was rusty at best and hadn't really used it in years. When she laid claim to being Sofia's mother though she'd almost immediately enrolled in language courses at North Seattle College, attending four semesters' worth of night classes before our daughter learned to talk. Not an easy feat on top of her workload, teaching, and dealing with a pregnant girlfriend at home.  
  
And it's not something I asked her to do, either. I hadn't doubted her commitment to raising a child with me, but that had been a defining moment all the same -- the moment I knew she was in a hundred and fifty percent.  
  
Sofia scoots down off my lap and deposits herself on the floor in front of the coffee table, pulling over her crayons and colouring books while she sings along with the show, and I take the opportunity to shift closer to Arizona on the couch. I rest my head on her shoulder with a small yawn and the blonde wraps her arm around me, her fingers skimming absently through the ends of my ponytail.  
  
"Do you want to do something today, or just hang out around here?"  
  
"Let's just do nothing," I reply, inhaling the faint scent of her shampoo that's lingering from yesterday, "I feel like it's been a long week."  
  
"It has been, especially for you. A lazy day sounds good to me."  
  
"Maybe we can play outside later, bake some c-o-o-k-i-e-s or something. And tonight," I glance up at her and grin, "I have four episodes of the Great British Bake-Off on the DVR for us."  
  
I feel her soft laugh reverberate against me, and I can tell there's a smile on her face without having to see it.  
  
"Now that sounds like a hot date to me. I knew I married you for a reason."  
  
My phone starts ringing after a second, and I let out a low groan of discontent as I sit up and reach for it amid the crayons on the table. This better not be someone from the hospital, because I do  _not_  feel like dealing with anything work related today. A quick glance at the screen though tells me that it's actually my sister -- a pleasant surprise.   
  
"Hey, it's Aria."  
  
I smile, getting up so I won't disturb Dora, and meander out toward the kitchen as I hit the button to answer the call.  
  
"Hey, Aria! Long time no talk. I mean, outside of emails anyway."  
  
"Hi Callie," the familiar voice sounds in my ear, "yeah, it's been awhile I know -- I've been doing a lot of travelling for work. Things have been kind of nuts. How are you, though? And Arizona and Sofia?"  
  
"Good -- things have been busy here too, as always. Arizona's doing great though. We just found out we're having another girl."  
  
Just saying it out loud brings a huge smile to my face -- I can't help it. I want to tell everyone.  
  
"Really? Oh wow, Cal -- that's great. God, I feel like I'm still getting used to the idea that you have a kid at all, and now you're going to have two."  
  
"I mean, it's been almost five years, Aria. It's not exactly new."  
  
"I know, but..." she trails off a little, clearing her throat, "well, anyways, that's really great. I can't wait to meet her. Listen though, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."  
  
"What is it? And when are you finally going to come visit, by the way?"  
  
"Callie -- I just wanted to talk to you myself, before you talked to dad. Or someone else."  
  
Her tone has changed, taking on a slightly more serious -- and almost resigned -- note, and I frown slightly as I drop into a seat at the kitchen table.  
  
"What's going on? Is someone sick...? I talked to dad just last week and he didn't say anything--"  
  
"They're getting divorced."  
  
The words hang in the air, complete shock hitting me as I process what my sister has just said.  
  
"They... _what?_ "  
  
"They're getting a divorce. Dad told me the other day."  
  
Aria sounds surprisingly nonchalant about what she's telling me, but I'm just completely taken by surprise. My parents? Getting a divorce? My dad had flown to Seattle and practically begged me to give Arizona another chance the first time we separated, spouting all his morals about commitment and "relationships are hard work". Not to mention that they're both staunchly Catholic and don't even believe in divorce in the first place.  
  
"I can't even process this. Our parents? Our Catholic, moral-to-a-fault parents are splitting up after nearly fifty years? What the hell happened? They can't be serious. It must have been something freaking earth-shattering that they're even  _talking_  about that--"  
  
"Callie..."  
  
She cuts me off mid-sentence, but she sounds almost hesitant, pausing for a moment before she continues her thought.  
  
"He's tired of the way she's treated you. She continues to refuse to even acknowledge you and Arizona, and Sofia -- she gets pissy if dad and I even talk about you guys -- and he said enough was finally enough."  
  
Her reply leaves me speechless, and I stare at the wall across from the table, the realization of what she's saying slamming into me.  
  
"That's why I wanted to talk to you first. I know you're going to blame yourself -- at least partially -- and you need to know that this is  _not_  your fault. Do you hear me? Dad came to this decision on his own, and he told me it had been a long time coming. They've been fighting for years -- you just don't see it cause you're not down here."  
  
"They've been fighting over...me, though," I finally find some words, although I'm unsure what I'm even feeling right now, "It's kind of...drastic, isn't it? They've been together for so long...they always loved each other. She doesn't have to be involved with me, I've accepted that."  
  
"They love each other, but he loves you more. He told me over lunch the other day...and he honestly seemed confident about it, although kind of resigned. He basically told me that he was sorry they were splitting up, but that he was tired of not being in your life as much as he wants to be. I mean, you know how he feels about Sofia -- and now that you're going to have another baby? I think it kills him that he hardly ever sees you guys. When you came to visit after Christmas he was so happy, but then he felt really guilty about the whole thing that happened with mom. I think he just kind of realized...he wasn't truly supporting you by letting her continue to act that way. And he's right. I mean, I'm kind of guilty of the same thing."  
  
I honestly  _don't_  know how I feel right now. My parents are splitting up -- my parents who have been together their entire lives. Even though my mother no longer talks to me, it's kind of jarring.  
  
And...it's because of me. And I'm -- I wipe hastily at the corners of my eyes where tears are threatening to fall -- part of me is almost  _happy_. My dad is truly standing up for me, even against the woman he loves. I'm not sure how to process that after all these years.  
  
"Callie--" Aria speaks again, softly, "I'm upset too, but it  _is_  true. And I talked to mom after he told me, and tried to reason with her -- but she just won't see things like a normal person. This isn't just on dad. She's choosing her God over her daughter -- and over her husband. That part's on _her_."  
  
"Why hasn't dad called me?"  
  
"He's probably worried that you're going to blame yourself, too. You always try to shoulder all the guilt, Callie, you even did when we were kids."  
  
"I just..." I wipe at my eyes again, shaking my head a little in disbelief, "I mean it's just hard to imagine. What's going to happen to the house and everything?"  
  
She lets out a sigh, and I feel bad that a lot of the burden throughout all this has fallen on her, simply because she lives in Miami near them. Have they really been fighting for years about me?  
  
"I don't know. I don't think they've started figuring that much out yet. I imagine he'd give the house to mom though, if she wanted to stay. It'd probably be a lot less of a fight for him to move."  
  
"This is insane. He's seventy-four! Seventy-four-year-olds don't get divorced!"  
  
"They do if there's a good reason."  
  
"I don't know if this is a good reason. He's in my life, Aria -- he comes to visit, we came down at Christmas. And now you're back in my life too so there's really no point--"  
  
"Hermanita," my sister interrupts me again, "you are a good reason. Not having to schedule your visits when she's out of town and not having to tell her he's going on business trips when he's really going to Seattle...yeah, those sound like pretty decent reasons to me. This didn't happen overnight, trust me. He just finally had the balls to really stand up for you. I mean...we both should have years ago, but..."  
  
I feel a presence behind me and I glance back over my shoulder, seeing Arizona quietly standing at the entrance to the kitchen. A concerned look flits across her eyes, and I try to give her a reassuring smile.  
  
"Should I call him?"  
  
Aria is quiet for a moment, as if considering her answer, and my wife's hands slide over my shoulders, her thumbs softly caressing the sides of my neck.  
  
"I think maybe just wait for him to tell you. He will. I just wanted you to have a heads up, you know? I mean we're not kids anymore, but this still isn't easy for anyone."  
  
I nod to myself, listening to her words. And then I sigh, almost hesitating before I ask.  
  
"Do  _you_  blame me for causing this? Even a little?"  
  
Her reply is immediate, and it's firm.  
  
"No. I spent enough time blaming you -- letting our mother tell me that I should -- for just being yourself. I'm with dad on this one."  
  
I feel the tension leave my shoulders, and Arizona drapes her arms around my neck, leaning close.  
  
"You should come visit, Aria. It'd be nice."  
  
The older woman chuckles softly on the other end of the phone, my abrupt change of topic bringing a lighter tone to the conversation when she speaks again.  
  
"It would be. Long overdue, huh? Actually...I'll be in Vancouver next month on company business, and I was thinking I could stop in Seattle for a bit on the way home. I haven't taken days off in a long time."  
  
"Please do," I smile now, "we'd love that. Sofia would love to see you again. Just...give me a call, okay? Let me know when, and I'll get a day or two off."  
  
"I will. I should go, but tell her I say hi; Arizona too. And try not to stress too much, okay?"  
  
I snort a little, holding back a laugh.  
  
"Yeah, I'll try."  
  
"Talk to you soon."  
  
The call ends with a click and I shake my head a little, setting my phone down on the table. This is a lot to take in, and it's completely out of the blue. But somehow, I still can't shake the feeling that I'm kind of...happy. Or relieved?  
  
Arizona drops a kiss on my head and I suddenly remember that she's right behind me, the warmth of her hands sliding across my collarbone as she leans up.   
  
"Hey...is everything alright?"  
  
Her tone is soft and laced with concern, and for the millionth time I'm grateful that she can always sense how I feel.  
  
"My parents are apparently getting divorced."  
  
Blue eyes blink in disbelief, and she pulls out the chair next to me at the table, sliding into it to face me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah. Aria says dad...he's tired of the way my mom has treated me -- us. He's doing it for me, Arizona."  
  
Her hand slides over mine, and I turn my palm up so I can link fingers with her.   
  
"If he's decided to leave your mom over that, he's doing it for him, Calliope. Because  _he_  loves you."  
  
"But it just seems...god, they've been married for forty-eight years. Aria says they've been fighting over this the last couple years, but it all started with me."  
  
The blonde pauses for a moment, her eyes truly studying me as they trail over my face, and then she speaks quietly.  
  
"If I hurt Sofia like your mother has hurt you -- if I emotionally abused her, or if I endangered her well-being on  _purpose_...can you honestly say you'd still want to be with me, Callie?"  
  
When she speaks, my eyes immediately find hers, and I can see the genuine honesty in her question. I frown a little, weighing the seriousness of her words and the tone in which she delivered them.  
  
"Because I wouldn't. I want to be with you until the moment I die, but no matter how much I'm in love with you...she's my daughter. My  _baby_. And I don't care if it's you or anyone else, I couldn't be around someone who would purposefully continue hurting her."  
  
There's a fierceness to her eyes, a protectiveness that emanates from her entire being, and...she's right. Because that's what being a mother is; what being a parent is. Love for your children _should_  be unconditional, above all else.  
  
"I just..." I sigh heavily with the realization, looking down at our joined hands, "I wish it hadn't come to this, you know?"  
  
"I know," she leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek, "I wish it hadn't too. I'm...as shocked as you are, honestly. But maybe this is what your dad needs."  
  
"I hope if they go through with it, he won't regret it."  
  
A small smile graces her features, and she cups my jaw, letting her thumb slide softly over my skin.  
  
"I don't think he'll regret getting to fully be in his daughter's life, finally."  
  
"Momma! Where'd everybody go?"  
  
I can't help but laugh softly when I hear our daughter calling from the living room, and I look over to see Arizona grinning at me. It's barely eleven o'clock in the morning, and we still have an entire day ahead of us. Nothing can put a damper on that.  
  
"I think you're right. And I think it's time to make some cookies."

 

  
*


	34. Chapter 34

**_Arizona_ **

  
"Bailey -- Chief, with all due respect, it is ridiculous that we're going to have our state-of-the-art neonatal surgical equipment literally sitting here doing nothing for nearly five months. We invested  _heavily_  when Herman was training me to ensure the department had everything it needed. We're one of only twenty-three hospitals in the country equipped for this."  
  
"Dr. Robbins-Torres," the shorter woman cuts in with a frustratingly patient look on her face, "I'm not sure what you want me to do here. We don't have the funds to bring on a second fetal surgeon -- even if there  _were_  any to hire, which you know very well there are not. You're not exactly a dime a dozen here."  
  
"I've spoken to colleagues in Philadelphia, and Elise Cassano would be interested in taking a six-month contract with us. We could potentially have her here to work with me starting next month."  
  
I shift a bit in my chair in the conference room, my ever-expanding stomach lightly bumping the table. At twenty-five weeks pregnant now, as much as I hate to admit it, certain factors are beginning to affect my work. Staying on my feet for ten and twelve hour days is nearly impossible already with the added weight and the prosthetic, and soon I just won't be able to get as close to the operating table as I need to be for the delicate surgeries I'm performing. It's frustrating at best, and I hate to think of the patients we're going to have to turn away once I can no longer operate, and when I'm gone on maternity leave.  
  
"We can re-direct patients from the Northwest back to Addison Montgomery -- two years ago this hospital didn't even have a neonatal surgery unit."  
  
I let out a slightly frustrated sigh, looking to the other members of the board for support.   
  
"But we do now, and we have the equipment. It isn't fair to increase wait times for these parents when another surgeon could be taking my place while I'm gone and making use of what we have."  
  
"I mean, she's kind of right, Chief. If this Dr. Cassano is willing to come to Seattle short-term...maternal-fetal medicine has been huge for us since Arizona became certified. I think the cost of a secondary salary would be balanced out by the surgeries she'll perform."  
  
Meredith speaks up from the other side of the table, spinning her pen lightly between her fingers as she glances at Bailey.  
  
"Agreed," Avery chimes in his opinion, shrugging casually, "I mean it's an added expense, obviously -- we'd have both of them on payroll for those six months, but I think we'd benefit from keeping maternal-fetal running while Arizona is out of commission. It's good for our reputation."  
  
"Okay, she's not going to be 'out of commission' -- she's having a baby. Can we stop talking about that like it's some kind of medical problem?"  
  
Callie sounds slightly defensive as she speaks up, and I slip my hand under the table to squeeze her thigh.  
  
"She will be off work for four months and unlikely to be doing many surgeries for at least a month before her due date," he turns to Callie, hands up in defense, "that's out of commission! I'm not trying to be insensitive here, it's just a fact."  
  
"Listen," Bailey makes a note on the pad in front of her, "I'll have Patricia talk to finance and see if this makes sense. I can appreciate what you're saying about the value of keeping the department open, but it's my job here to consider the bottom line and this was never in the plan. Why is Elise Cassano looking to leave CHOP in Philly anyway though? She's got a whole paediatric hospital out there."  
  
Elise and I are actually friends from med school; she was in the same class as Amelia and I, and we all did our residency together. We were pretty good friends at the time -- well, slightly more than friends for awhile -- and we've kept in touch over the years, seeing each other at conferences and such, the occasional email contact. So I know the real reason she's interested in accepting the contract here is because she just went through a messy divorce and wants some time away from her ex, who also works at the hospital. It works out well for us though because I also know she'll want to go back afterwards -- she loves her job in Philly, and most of her family is there.  
  
"Change of scenery for a bit, I guess," I shrug, smiling at Bailey, "she said she was up for a new challenge -- she'd run the department here, obviously, instead of being a team of four."  
  
"Alright, well we done here then? Let's get back to work, people. This meeting has lasted long enough."  
  
The smaller woman shuts her notebook and stands up, and the rest of the board shuffle their things together and follow suit, everyone making their way out of the small conference room. I push myself up, leaning over to drop a quick kiss on Callie's cheek before I go.  
  
"You're getting Sofia after school today, right?"  
  
Callie stands, pocketing her pen and resting her hand against the small of my back as we walk out.  
  
"Actually, Courtney is going to take her and Rachel to some theatre thing that's happening by the harbour. There's some kids' performer. I saw her this morning when I dropped Sof off and she asked if I thought she'd like to go. Courtney's going to drop her off after supper."  
  
I smile to myself, glancing at the brunette who's fallen in step beside me.  
  
"So, you and I get to have an evening to ourselves. Whatever shall we do?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure we'll think of  _something._ "  
  
She grins as we come to a stop by the elevators, leaning in and kissing me softly. Usually I'm not one for too many public displays of affection around the hospital, but the way her lips linger for just a moment longer than necessary, tantalizingly full of promise...well, it makes me rethink my position a little. Like it does every time.  
  
The doors open in front of us and we wait for a few interns to hurry out before stepping inside and hitting the buttons for our respective floors. My body is positively humming right now -- where Callie's libido had taken a serious hit when she entered her third trimester, mine has done nothing but skyrocket so far.  
  
"So I'm going to admit to being a little jealous that your ex-girlfriend is potentially coming to work here. I fully agree that we need to keep the department running, but I'm just going to be forthright and put that out there."  
  
Her tone is light, so I know she's not seriously jealous in a worried way, but I glance toward her anyway, nudging her lightly with my shoulder.  
  
"You have nothing to be jealous about. And Elise is hardly an ex-girlfriend -- it was never really that serious between us. And it was more than ten years ago."  
  
"I know, I know," my wife lets out a dramatic sigh, "but all the same, she's seen you naked. And I dislike everyone who has seen you naked on principle."  
  
Glancing at the elevator panel, I reach out quickly and hit the stop button, ignoring the surprised look on the other woman's face before I back her into the wall. I smooth my hands under her white lab coat, slipping them just underneath her scrub top to feel soft, warm skin along her waist. I love touching her.  
  
"Do you? I don't dislike everyone who's seen  _you_  naked -- because I'm the only one who gets to see you naked  _whenever_  I want."  
  
I watch her eyes darken slightly as my hands roam over her skin, sliding higher until my thumbs trace along the underside of her bra. The warm scent of her argan oil shampoo and the lotion I watched her apply this morning surrounds me, and combined with the feel of her under my fingers, I'm driving myself absolutely insane.  
  
"And the only one who gets to touch you like this, " I press my body along the length of hers, backing her more fully against the wall of the elevator, and lean in until my lips just barely brush the shell of her ear, "who gets to do  _whatever_  I want to you."  
  
With my hands still wrapped around her ribs, I can both feel and hear her quick intake of breath. I pull my hands back and reach up to bury them in her hair at the same time my mouth collides with hers, a slight moan escaping as I kiss her almost ferociously -- possessively claiming her in a flurry of lips and tongues and fingers tugging her ever closer. I want her. I want her every second of every day and she is mine.  
  
I pull back a few minutes later, exercising what little self-restraint I possess at the moment, and my hands trail down her jaw and over her neck as we both catch our breath. I lean in again, nuzzling her jaw lightly, and lower my voice to an almost husky pitch that I know will push her to the brink.  
  
"And you're the  _only_  person I want to do that to."  
  
The urge to strip her down right here and now and take her against the elevator wall is suddenly forefront in my mind, but I pull back, releasing the taller woman and smoothing her scrub top back into place. I hit the elevator button quickly, letting out a breath as it starts to move again, and ignore the growing arousal in my body as Callie shifts back to stand beside me. Her hand hangs beside mine, and her pinky finger lightly traces against mine as the elevator doors open on the fourth floor, sending a shiver down my spine.  
  
"Arizona."  
  
My name leaves the brunette's lips in a murmur and she makes a motion to leave the small space, but not before grasping my wrist in a quick, firm tug.  
  
"On-call room. Now."

 

  
*

 

  
The door shuts behind us and Callie is immediately pressing me back against it, deft fingers quickly clicking the lock into place as she captures my lips with hers for a searing kiss. Her hands roam over my hips and the new curves of my body, and she wastes no time slipping them underneath the navy fabric to venture over my abdomen and upwards, until warm palms are cupping my breasts in a firm yet gentle caress.  
  
"God, you are so hot."  
  
The words are murmured against my jaw between kisses, and she licks a warm line along the shell of my ear before letting out a breathy sound that has me arching my chest desperately into her touch.  
  
"I love when you talk to me like that. When you get all  _possessive._ "  
  
"Calliope..." I groan her name softly, my head back against the door as her lips move down my throat, "I want to..."  
  
My thoughts are interrupted as the brunette bites lightly at the base of my neck and grasps my hips, sturdy hands pulling me away from the wall and walking me backward toward the small bed in the corner.  
  
"I'm going to be doing the touching here," she glances up at my eyes and licks her lips ever so slowly, "I know you're not going to argue."  
  
She carefully pushes me to sitting on the thin mattress and nudges me onto my back, tugging the string of my scrub pants loose and wasting no time as she drags them and my underwear down my legs. As I lift my hips to help her, I can't help the slight whimper that escapes my throat -- I am  _certainly_  not going to argue when my impossibly sexy wife is taking my clothes off and looking at me that way. She knows exactly how much I want her right now. She knows how these pregnancy hormones have turned me into even more of a randy teenager than normal; she knows that the way she looks at me across the room sometimes is enough to create all kinds of dirty images in my head; she knows that even her  _breathing_  is enough to turn me on.   
  
And she can be a fucking tease.  
  
"Calliope," I let out a breath, leaning up on my elbows to watch as she climbs between my thighs, "come  _on_."  
  
A slight smirk crosses her lips as she pulls her hair back into a ponytail, and I'm about to growl her name again in frustration when she finally --  _finally_  -- dips her head and ends up right where I want her.  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
Her movement starts slowly, the tip of her tongue tracing against me and trailing along my inner thighs, teasing until I'm practically vibrating with need; aching for more as I watch her. I arch my back a little and she sucks lightly, drawing a gasp from me, and then her hot breath skirts over my skin as her lips and her tongue begin a rhythm that sends a seemingly impossible amount of arousal coursing through my veins. I let my head fall back onto the pillow with a groan that's probably louder than it should be, but I can't help it; and I can't stop my fingers from reaching down to bury into her hair, needing to touch her, hold her to me as my body responds quickly to her lavish attention.  
  
"Callie...please..."   
  
I gasp a little breathlessly as my wife shifts angles, curling two fingers into me while she hums in appreciation and continues her assault on what feels like every nerve ending in my body. That last push is all it takes, and I feel my back arching instinctively up to meet her, my entire body strung tightly, and in a second her free hand is reaching up to clamp over my mouth as the high takes me over. Thank god she knows exactly when to shut me up.  
  
She easily brings me to release a second time, a quiet groan escaping me as my body shudders under her, and I finally melt back into the mattress as I squeeze my eyes shut and struggle to catch my breath.  
  
"Better?"  
  
Warm hands smooth over my bare thighs and I shiver under her touch, blinking my eyes open to see the aroused, content look on her face as she licks her lips clean. I nod, humming contently, and watch as she trails kisses up the curve of my stomach, pushing the scrub top out of her way before she lays her head against me.  
  
We rest in silence for a moment and I smooth my hand softly over her ponytail, thinking of exactly how I'm about to return the favour, when suddenly the brunette jerks her head up, eyes widening in surprise.  
  
"What?" I blink, still a little dazed, a frown immediately creasing my brow, "Callie?"  
  
"She kicked me!"  
  
A look of excitement and awe immediately replaces the lustful one that was just on her face, and she presses her palm to my stomach where her cheek was just resting. I feel a distinct kick after a second, and as her dark eyes widen again I can't stop the grin that tugs at my lips.  
  
"You can feel that?"  
  
"Oh my god, Arizona...oh... _wow_."  
  
She moves her hand a bit, pressing firmly as she feels another movement, and the little being inside gives an even stronger jab that makes me laugh softly.  
  
"She's feeling feisty, it seems."  
  
Callie's eyes turn to me as she brings her other hand over to caress my stomach, and the look of adoration on her face is enough to send my heart into overdrive. Our baby moves again, giving her a few more softer kicks, and she leans down to press a tender kiss to the spot, her lips lingering against my skin.  
  
"Hey, baby," she speaks softly, "Hi Audrey, I'm your mommy. I hope you can feel me out here. I love you, little baby."  
  
I lean up on my elbows again and smile as she rubs her hand in gentle circles, pressing back lightly as if to return the touch our baby just gave her.  
  
"This is amazing, Arizona."  
  
"I know," I watch her face, reaching up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear, "that's our little girl."  
  
The other woman laughs after a minute, looking up at me again with a grin.  
  
"Who apparently was happy her momma just had multiple orgasms."  
  
A laugh bubbles up from my throat and I tug Callie down until she rests beside me, her leg curling around mine as we draw closer to each other. She tugs the abandoned sheet up from the bottom of the bed to cover us and I cup her cheek and kiss her slowly, drawing her bottom lip between mine as I let my free hand wander down her body to tease under her clothing. I haven't forgotten my need to feel this woman come undone before me.  
  
"Mm, well," I murmur, tracing my tongue lightly along her lip before kissing her again, "I know someone else who's about to be happy too..."  
  
The brunette just purrs slightly as I undo the tie on her pants, and half an hour later....well.  
  
Everyone is very happy indeed.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Two Days Later_ **

  
"Callie! Your phone is ringing!"  
  
I glance at the phone on our dresser as I round the corner into the bedroom, having just come back from dropping off Sofia at school. Both of us are on slightly later shifts this week, and so the brunette is just out of the shower, steam escaping as she nudges the door open wrapped in a towel.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"Your dad."  
  
She glances toward the dresser and turns back into the bathroom without saying anything, grabbing some product to apply to her wet hair. I frown a little, padding across the room until I can lean in the door jam, and watch the toned curves of her back as she ignores the ringing and it finally goes to voicemail.  
  
"I'll call him back..." she meets my eyes in the mirror for a second, "I just..."  
  
I just watch, not saying anything, and the brunette lets out a soft sigh as she sets the bottle back on the shelf.  
  
"We talked yesterday. He wants me to come down to Miami so I can pack up anything from my old room I want to keep -- he's letting mom have the house, apparently. He found some place on the other end of the city, near Aria's neighbourhood."  
  
"Well..." I start slowly, "we have the weekend after next off. We could fly down and visit. I'm sure Amelia, or even Alex, would keep Sofia for a night or two."  
  
"I don't want you flying anywhere. You're pregnant."  
  
"Callie, I just entered my third trimester. The baby and I are both healthy. There's nothing stopping me from flying safely--"  
  
"Me. I'm stopping you," she glances at me in the mirror again as she carefully combs some tangles from her hair, "why take a chance?"  
  
"Sweetie..."  
  
I take a few steps into the bathroom, sidling up behind her towel-clad form, and quietly take the wide-tooth comb from her hand. I slide it through her hair and gently work at a knot she was just struggling with, and she lets out a barely audible sigh, shoulders slumping.  
  
"I don't want to go. Doesn't this all seem so fast to you? I mean god, Aria was just here last month telling me about all of this, and now he's already found a new place and he's moving out? We were  _actually_  divorced and six months later we still hadn't...we hadn't divided up our belongings and our house and--"  
  
"And half the hospital talked about how weird and distinctly not-normal that was."  
  
I use my fingers to loosen the last of the tangle and smooth her hair down, running the comb through the rest of it before setting it back on the counter.  
  
"He just seems to be making these decisions awfully fast. They were married for forty-seven _years_. He should be taking more time...they should try and work something out."  
  
"I think your dad knows what he wants," I reply softly, stepping to the side and sitting on the closed toilet beside the vanity, "you know him, Callie. He doesn't make decisions lightly."  
  
"It's my fault though."  
  
She leans her hands on the counter, looking into the mirror again, and I'm suddenly struck by how tired she looks. I know she didn't sleep well last night, and she's been stressed out by a new trial in the robotics lab and trying to get the nursery prepared here at home, and although she doesn't often let on that she's thinking about her parents while she's busy rushing around...I know this whole thing has been weighing on her mind every since her sister's phone call and visit last month.  
  
"I know everyone says it's not, and I know that's what you always tell little kids when their parents are getting divorced -- but this actually, literally is my fault, Arizona. If I wasn't bisexual, if I wasn't married to a woman, my father wouldn't be leaving the person he's loved for his entire life. There would never have been a problem between them to begin with."  
  
"Hey."  
  
I look up at my wife, speaking firmly to get her attention. There are a lot of things I've learned to let slide in life, but this? This is not one of them. I'm not about to let my wife start doubting and blaming herself for other peoples' reactions -- even if those other people  _are_  her family.  
  
"Is that what you told Jessica?"  
  
The name catches her off-guard, but she looks at me, immediate recognition flashing in her eyes. She'd treated the teenager and her girlfriend a few months ago after a serious accident, and she'd stood up for the girl when her bigoted, homophobic mother had come crashing angrily into the hospital. Callie had been livid with the way those parents acted. She'd wasted no time in telling them exactly how horribly they were treating their own child, and she'd stuck to that girl's beside like glue to protect and comfort her.  
  
The brunette flounders for words for a moment, and I continue while she holds my gaze.  
  
"Would you have told Jessica it was her fault that her mom wanted to send her to some conversion camp? Her fault that her parents were screaming at each other in the hallway?"  
  
She sighs softly.  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Of course not," I repeat softly, tilting my head a little as I take in her pained expression, "and it's not your fault either. My dad didn't want me to be a lesbian -- you know he didn't, it was against everything he'd spent his whole life believing. But he decided that I was still the same person, and I would still be happy and be successful and be everything he wanted me to be -- so he changed his beliefs. And so did your dad. You have given your mom everything she ever could have wanted for you, Callie; you had a beautiful wedding, you gave her grandchildren, you believe in God, and you're articulate and smart and have a reputation as one of the best doctors in this country."  
  
I stand again, stepping closer and turning the other woman to face me, my arms wrapping loosely around her middle.  
  
"Hell, you're not even forty and you've already been shortlisted for the Harper Avery once; and you know very well that this year you're probably going to get an actual nomination. You are every parent's  _dream_. And because of one thing -- one part of you -- your mother refuses to bend even a little?"  
  
Callie glances down between us, bringing her hands up to rest on my stomach. She softly caresses our growing baby and I just watch her face for a moment, my heart clenching at the heavy weight in her eyes. Even if Lucia Torres was to ever change her mind, even if she were to join freaking PFLAG, I don't think I could be anything but angry about the way she crushed a part of the beautiful, kind-hearted woman in front of me.  
  
"It's not your fault," I speak softly again, resting my hand against hers as I feel a light flutter, "it never will be."  
  
Our baby girl shifts again inside me and a tiny elbow or foot bumps under our hands, bringing a small smile to Callie's face as we stand in silence.  
  
"I don't know why it's so hard," she sighs, looking up again, "because I know you're right. And I'm a grown-up; this shouldn't be that big a deal."  
  
"It  _is_  a big deal, I'm not denying that. I think at any age it would be. But you just have to remember that your dad is doing what feels right for him. And what feels right for his relationship with you. And sometimes...that's okay."  
  
"I still don't really want you to travel to Miami," she reaches up, brushing hair back behind my ear, "I'd just be worried. And...I mean Aria will be around, and Dad. It'll be okay."  
  
"If you'd rather I stay with Sofia, that's fine. But I'm there if you want me to be."  
  
"I know."  
  
She kisses me lightly, a small smile tugging at her lips again as she pulls back.  
  
"You know, I feel the need to point out right now that the only successful, supportive, happy marriage in my family is the gay one," she holds her hands up, eyebrow raised, "I'm just sayin'."  
  
I can't help but grin at the smug look on her face.  
  
"That's because we're the best. Plus, you know, my lesbian super powers."  
  
She bursts out laughing as I strike a superhero pose, but then when she's distracted I reach out and quickly tug her towel loose, letting it fall to the floor. My eyes drift over her naked form for a brief moment, but when I trail back up to her eyes I laugh softly at her startled expression.  
  
"Now get dressed, before I make us late again."

 

  
*


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been awhile since the last update - for which I apologize. But I haven't forgotten about this story, I promise. It's been a stressful last couple of weeks, and last week work unexpectedly sent me to what turned into the Conference-From-Hell, and tl;dr being a grown-up sucks.
> 
> But, I'm happy to finally have this chapter down and posted for you! Thank you to those who leave comments -- it means the world to me!

**_Callie_ **

  
“Call me if you need anything, okay? If there’s anything with the baby...or you just want me back here...I can always make my dad give me the plane to come home on short notice.”  
  
“We’ll be fine, Callie. It’s only two nights, don’t worry.”  
  
My beautiful wife just smiles, sliding her hands up over my shoulders to squeeze lightly as we stand in the middle of the airport’s drop-off area. I’m heading to Miami for the weekend, to see my dad and Aria and pack up some things I still have hanging around home, and it’s...well, it’s the first time since we’ve been back together that I’ve been  _anywhere_  without the other woman, and I'm feeling a little antsy about it. Especially about leaving her when she's nearly eight months pregnant.  
  
“I mean it. Anything at all. And you’ll text, right?”  
  
“Of course I’ll text,” she laughs musically, blue eyes meeting mine, “when do I ever not? But honestly, we’ll be just fine. I only work until six tonight, and the rest of the weekend I plan on taking it easy. And Amelia’s going to come over tonight and we’re going to have a girls’ night with Sof.”  
  
“I just hate leaving my pregnant wife home alone, I feel like an ass—“  
  
The blonde leans up then, silencing me with a gentle kiss as her hand curls around the back of my neck. I sigh softly, gripping her waist a little tighter as I kiss her a second time, and I can’t help smile a little as she pulls back and lightly brushes her nose against mine.  
  
“I won’t be alone, I have Sofia. And we’ll see you Sunday afternoon, okay? We'll be here to pick you up.”  
  
She leans back again and I look down, smoothing my hand under her jacket – that won’t even come close to zipping anymore – and over the firm swell of her stomach. I feel a rippling movement under my palm and smile again, although I reluctantly acknowledge that it really is time for me to get inside and through security.  
  
“I’ll miss you.”  
  
“Me or just little A?”  
  
I look up to see her teasing grin, and I can’t help laugh.  
  
“Both of you,” I kiss her lightly again, “all my girls.”  
  
“I’ll miss you, too.”  
  
Her voice is softer now, and she links her fingers through mine, squeezing tightly. She knows half the reason I’m hesitating is because I don’t  _want_  to go and spend the weekend thinking about my parents’ divorce, and talking about it, and potentially seeing my mother again after our last disastrous visit. I really don’t. And part of me wishes she was coming with me after all, but there was no way I wanted to put her through that potential stress again.  
  
“And Calliope, you call  _me_  if you need anything.”  
  
I catch her eyes as she speaks again, and she gives me a knowing look, as if she can read my mind.  
  
“I will. I love you.”  
  
I steal one more kiss before I bend down to grab my bag again, and the smaller woman envelopes me in a hug, holding me tight for a brief moment.  
  
“Love you too. Now go, before you miss your flight. Call me when you land.”  
  
Shouldering the bag, I pull my printed reservation from the side pocket and turn to go.  
  
“Always.”

 

  
*

 

  
The flight to Miami is uneventful and long – I catch up on some reading for most of the trip, unable to nap like I usually do on flights. I feel too wound up, and almost anxious with the thought of running into my mother. The thought makes me shake my head and scoff though – what grown woman is afraid of her mother? She can’t do anything to me.  
  
Except, of course, make me feel like shit. Because it seems like no matter how many times I logically, thoughtfully prepare myself, she still has the ability to do that. It’s ridiculous.  
  
I make my way through the airport after we land and scan the arrivals area, spotting my dad after a few minutes where he waits in the crowd. He stands stoically as always, hands folded neatly in front of him, clothes immaculate and eyes sharp as he looks around.  
  
"Dad!"   
  
I can't help but smile as the older man's eyes light up at my voice, and he immediately heads toward me and wraps me in a tight hug, happiness evident in his voice as he greets me.  
  
"Mija, it's so good to see you."  
  
Pulling back after a moment, he lays his hands on my shoulders and studies me, attentive eyes taking in my appearance as they briefly flit over my face.  
  
"You look good. Beautiful, as always."  
  
Laughing softly, I roll my eyes and adjust my bag on my shoulder.  
  
"You have to say that."  
  
"Only because it's true," he takes the carry-on bag from me and with a hand at my back leads me toward the exit, "how's Arizona? And my little mija, Sofia?"  
  
The mention of my girls' names brings another kind of smile to my face, and I walk with him out to the priority parking area just outside the main doors.   
  
"Good. Sofia just finished school a few weeks ago, and she's taking swimming lessons and another dance class for the summer. She's pretty excited. And Arizona's doing great -- god, it's so amazing, dad. Can you believe in just under two months you're going to have another grand-kid?"  
  
He unlocks the black sedan and opens the passenger side door for me, and I climb in as he sets my bag in the back and goes around to the driver's side.  
  
"Sometimes I can hardly believe I already have one. You make me feel very old, Calliope."  
  
I can see the teasing glint in his eyes as he chuckles softly, pulling out of the parking lot as we head on our way.  
  
"Will you be able to visit anytime soon? Sof would love to see you."  
  
"I'll try, mija. I'll definitely be there to meet my new granddaughter if not before, you can count on that."  
  
As we drive away from the airport, a comfortable silence falls over the car, and I just watch out the window as familiar scenery passes us by. I don't want to bring up the reason for this visit -- but I know one of us has to sooner or later. And I don't want to make this about me -- it's  _not_  about me, I'm not the one whose marriage is falling apart this time -- but I can never help but wonder about the parent that's been missing from my life.  
  
"Has mom even said anything? Does she even care that we're having another baby?"  
  
I glance over as my question is met with silence, and I can see the older man sigh heavily, his eyes remaining focused on the road.  
  
"Honestly, Calliope? That was one of the final straws for me. I knew your mother would never change her views, even a little."  
  
His answer is deliberately vague, but I press for more as I look back out the window.  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"The details aren't important now, mija."  
  
"Dad, what did she say?"  
  
There's silence for another few minutes, and we turn onto the road that will take us along the coast toward the community near the beach where I grew up. I'm sure nothing can be worse than things she's already said to me, but for some reason, I suddenly really want to know. I can't help but insist upon an answer.   
  
"I showed her Arizona's ultrasound picture -- when you emailed me the second one, I printed it off and showed it to her. And all she said when she looked at it was that it brought her great sadness. That one had been bad enough, and that this one wasn't even yours."  
  
I clench my jaw a little, feeling my entire body tense at his words.  
  
"And she said she couldn't believe that I would welcome another illegitimate child into my family."  
  
I've heard my mother talk this way about Sofia before -- I mean, when she came for Arizona and my wedding the first time, she outright told me she couldn't bring herself to hold my bastard child. She'd reiterated it every time over the years I'd tried to reason with her, every time I'd even made mention of my daughter. And...something about that had always made me angrier than everything else. It was one thing to dismiss my feelings, my sexuality -- to dismiss my wife and my marriage, even -- but to speak about my  _child_  that way. My beautiful, innocent, perfect little girl; the granddaughter she always claimed she wanted until the moment she found out how she came into this world. Until the moment she found out who her parents were. Something about that was even worse than anything she'd ever said about me.  
  
My father lets out a slight sigh again, and I can just see him shake his head slightly out of the corner of my eye.  
  
"That was all I could take, mija," he speaks softly, trailing off, "it was all I could take. These are your  _children_. They've done nothing wrong to deserve that."  
  
I glance across at my father again, who is suddenly sounding...worn out. He sounds tired, and almost resigned to the words he's speaking, and as I watch him I start to realize...this isn't all because of me. It's because he loves me, yes, but it's also because he loves his grandchildren. He's protecting  _them_.  
  
"I didn't stand up for you in the beginning," he speaks again, and I swallow the lump in my throat at the sincerity in his tone, "but I learned what a mistake that was. I wasn't going to make the same mistake with your little girls."  
  
"Dad..."  
  
We pull into the gated community and head toward the end of the street, my parents' house coming into view after a few moments.  
  
"They're a gift from God, Calliope, it's as simple as that."  
  
He turns to look at me as he stops at the front gates of the house, waiting for them to shift open in front of us, and I can feel my eyes watering, previously unshed tears finally making it to the surface.  
  
"You are my daughter and you have a beautiful family, a wonderful child. You have someone to raise your children with who is an exceptional parent. Your mother can't see what a wonderful gift that is -- she just...she isn't the woman I once knew."  
  
I try to process his words as he pulls into the familiar, tree lined driveway, and as we pull up to the garage beside the house I see Aria's car already parked, and Taco trotting up from the yard to greet us. It still feels overwhelming -- all of this -- but I feel like I have more of an insight now into what my dad was thinking. And things...make a little more sense now. My heart aches for my father, but it's also swelling with love for what he's just told me.  
  
We both climb out of the car, and I can hear my dad greeting the dog affectionately before he grabs my bag from the backseat, the quiet emotion from the car now gone from his voice.  
  
"Callie!"  
  
I look up at the sound of my older sister's voice as she rounds the side of the house as well, and a smile tugs at my lips as she meets me for a hug.   
  
"You'll never guess what I found this morning in our old study."  
  
"What...?"   
  
I inquire cautiously, eyeing the older woman. Aside from briefly showing the old playroom-turned-study that Aria and I had shared to Arizona last winter, I hadn't really gone into the room last time I came home. It had been almost a decade since I'd really looked around that room.   
  
"The first and only issue of Science Girl. You big nerd."  
  
My eyes widen in surprise at the mention of a comic I had once attempted (poorly) to draw in grade seven...and as Aria quirks an eyebrow in amusement I can't help burst out laughing, feeling my cheeks tinge slightly in a blush at the memory.  
  
"Oh my god. I changed my mind about going through stuff, let's just throw it all out."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
  
“That school is harder to get out of than freaking Alcatraz. Has picking up kids always been this complicated?”  
  
“Hi momma!”  
  
I turn at the sound of Amelia and Sofia’s voices, smiling as a small set of arms wraps around my hips in a tight hug. I’d been running a little late in my rounds this afternoon, and since Amelia was coming over for the evening anyway she offered to go pick the little girl up at school. I’d called ahead to let them know, but they did tend to take security seriously at the school – which, you know, is something I’m absolutely grateful for, even if it can be a little bit of a hassle sometimes.  
  
I smooth my hand over silky dark hair before bending to drop a kiss on my daughter’s head, and laugh a little at the next words that tumble out of her mouth, as soon as she lets me go.  
  
“What’s Al-ca-triz?”  
  
“Somewhere you go if you misbehave too much, short stuff.”  
  
Sofia’s eyes widen in fear as Amelia answers her question, and the neurosurgeon just grins, tugging lightly at her braid.  
  
“Don’t worry. You  _probably_  won’t end up there. Although you are in public school, and we all know what a clusterfu--dge that can be, so god only knows.”  
  
“Please don’t tell my daughter she’s going to end up in prison,” I swat the brunette with my jacket as I pull it from my locker, “and it’s a good school! You went to public school. So did I.”  
  
“You went to army base school, there’s a difference. They probably had you marching to the library in double time by the second grade. And made you do push-ups if you spoke out of turn.”  
  
I pause a moment as I pull my jacket on.  
  
“I actually did have one teacher in Bahrain who did that. Which sucked because it was really freaking hot over there.”  
  
The brunette snorts, following Sofia as we head out of the attendings’ locker room and up toward the lobby of the hospital.  
  
“Maybe if you didn’t cause so much trouble. I didn’t know you had it in you.”  
  
“We lived there when I was a preteen – they weren’t my best years, what can I say.”  
  
I take my daughter’s hand as we head across the lobby and out through the parking lot, and I fish my keys out of my bag, somehow not managing to drop anything in the process. Something I'm silently thankful for because bending over? Not as easy as it used to be. And not one of the things the pregnancy handbook really bothered mentioning.  
  
“So what would you ladies like to get for supper?”  
  
“PIZZA!” Sofia immediately chimes in, bouncing on the balls of her feet, “with pineapples on the top!”  
  
I grin at Amelia, raising an eyebrow questioningly.  
  
“Hey,” she grins right back, helping the little girl into the backseat, “that sounds great to me. I’ll never turn down pizza.”  
  
“Can we get ice cream too? We’re gonna watch Frozen and paint our toes, Aunt Amy. Can I paint you? Momma only has five toes to do so I can do you too."  
  
I glance back once we’re all buckled in and taking off out of the parking lot, and can’t help smile at the child sitting behind us. Despite being upset earlier today that Callie was gone, I think the promise of a girl’s night has completely made her day. Amelia hasn’t been in the picture all that long, really, but Sofia had taken to her from the very start and remained enamoured with her “Aunt Amy” – a feeling I know is mutual, even if the badass neurosurgeon tries not to admit it. I’m going to ask her tonight about being godmother to our new baby – Callie and I had been waiting for the right time, but she told me to go ahead this morning – and...we kind of want her to become like a second godmother to Sofia as well, since Cristina lives halfway across the world. It's a lot to ask, but the fact that our friendship has almost seamlessly picked up where it left off all those years ago, and the fact that Callie and her have become close as well, proves to me that Amelia is a person worth having in our kids' lives.   
  
“That's right. We have allllll the nail polish colours,” I grin in the rear view mirror, “What do you say, Aunt Amy?”  
  
Amelia wrinkles her nose slightly at the endearment, holding back a smile, but she glances backwards to that hopeful little face and grins in agreement.  
  
“You’re on, kiddo. Just nothing with sparkles, okay?"

 

  
*

 

  
Several hours, a lot of giggling, and a somewhat messy nail-painting session later, I slide back down onto the couch after finally getting an exhausted -- but wound up on sugar -- little girl to bed. We'd had a fun night; watched a couple of movies, enjoyed pizza and ice cream, and Amelia and I were both now sporting different coloured manicures and pedicures. My back is killing me though, and I have to admit I'm somewhat selfishly lamenting the fact that my wife won't be here tonight to give me a back rub.  
  
"In hindsight, double chocolate brownie ice cream might not have been my best decision," Amelia flashes me a grin, slinking back into the couch cushions comfortably, "although definitely won me favourite points."  
  
"You already had all the favourite points -- if she's still hyper in the morning I'm dropping her off at your place."  
  
The brunette lets out a soft laugh, inspecting her dark pink, sparkly nails, and leans over to nudge her shoulder against mine affectionately.  
  
"This was fun though. I never thought I'd like kids so much, but you and Mer both turned out some pretty hilarious ones. The uncooked Torres bun has a lot to live up to."  
  
I almost snort with laughter, looking sideways as I run my hands over my stomach.  
  
"Uncooked bun?"  
  
She shrugs, sitting up a bit to reach over and lay her palm against the taut skin.  
  
"Well, that's what she is. Half-baked," she waits for a second, then grins again, "see? She likes it."  
  
I look down, smiling as I feel the baby inside of me stretching and kicking. I still can't believe what a strange feeling it is -- strange and...amazing, all at once. It's still hard to believe sometimes that there's this tiny human inside of me; a tiny, beautiful little person who we're going to meet in ten short weeks.  
  
It's also terrifying.  
  
"More like three-quarters baked," I lean back into the couch at the same time Amelia does, and smooth my hands over my shirt again, "I only have about ten weeks to go."  
  
"Scared?"  
  
As usual, if it's one thing Amelia is surprisingly good at, it's reading me like a book.  
  
"Terrified. I know I'm a doctor -- a surgeon even -- so I shouldn't be worried about this, right? I know how it works. I've seen it happen. Giving birth is natural, it's commonplace...women do it every day--"  
  
"And it's still scary as hell," she cuts me off, giving a slight shrug of her shoulder against mine, "you're allowed to be nervous, Arizona. God, I know I was -- and that was despite everything else. I'd be worried if you  _weren't_  nervous about pushing a cantaloupe out of your ladyplace."  
  
"Oh god, let's not talk about this."  
  
The other woman lets out a throaty laugh and I swat her, trying to rid my mind of the image I really, really don't want to think about right now -- not until absolutely forced to.   
  
"I do have a question for you, though," I sit up a little, changing the subject, and shift so I can sit against the arm of the couch and face my friend, "sort-of related."  
  
"Now, I don't know that I'm exactly an expert here."  
  
"Callie and I would like you to be our baby's godmother," I smile as a shocked look appears on her face, "you know, if you think you're up for it."  
  
The brunette just looks at me, silent for a moment with an expression I can't quite place settling on her features.   
  
"Are you... _really?_ "  
  
She speaks softly, her eyes falling to glance at my pregnant belly.  
  
"Really," I speak honestly, knowing she probably didn't expect this, "you're one of my best friends, Amelia. And...there's something else, too."  
  
She raises an eyebrow curiously, looking up to meet my eyes again.   
  
"We'd like to name you as a second godmother -- and guardian -- for Sofia, too. I mean, she has a godmother already, you remember Cristina Yang -- but she lives in Europe and Callie and I have been talking, and if anything were to ever happen to us..."  
  
I can see a small smile cross the other woman's face -- and her eyes have an immediate warmth to them, her voice heartfelt and soft when she realizes where I'm going with this.   
  
"Of course I'd keep the girls together."  
  
"So that's a yes?"  
  
She pauses for a moment, studying me, and her fingers fiddle a little anxiously with the hem of her sweater.   
  
"Are you guys sure? I mean...I know you trust me to babysit but--"  
  
"Amy," I cut her off before she can finish her sentence, "we trust you; there are no 'buts' -- we wouldn't be asking otherwise. We're asking you, and we've asked Alex. I can't think of anyone better."  
  
"I mean, I suppose I'm already 'Aunt Amy'..."   
  
She grins then, and I see a secretly delighted look cross her eyes as she reaches to pick up her drink.   
  
"Yeah, your street cred is already ruined anyway."  
  
"Only for you, Robbins."

 

  
*

 

  
It's nearing eleven o'clock when Amelia takes off for the night and I lock up the house and head to bed. I'd texted Callie around nine but she hadn't responded -- given the time difference between here and Miami though, I figured the brunette had probably just fallen asleep already after what I'm sure was a long day of traveling and catching up with her family.   
  
Yawning through my nightly routine, I slip into one of Callie's old over-sized Star Wars t-shirts and finally ease my prosthetic off once I'm in bed, sighing softly as I massage the aching muscle of my thigh. I'm surprised when the phone on my nightstand lights up suddenly, a quiet ding sounding in the empty room, and I pick it up to read as I settle back into the mattress.   
  
 _You still awake?_  
  
I don't even have a response typed out to my wife yet before the phone starts to ring, and I quickly swipe to answer before the sound can wake our daughter.   
  
"Hey," a soft, familiar voice fills my ear, "I saw the message switch to 'read' so I knew you must be up..."  
  
"Hey, sweetie. I didn't expect to hear from you -- it's late there, is everything okay?"  
  
I reach up and switch off the lamp, and lay back comfortably, pulling the covers up over my chest. I can't help being a little concerned, but the other woman's voice is soothing nonetheless.   
  
"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just still on Seattle time -- and Aria and I got to talking after dad went to bed earlier, lost track of time. I just came up to my room now. Mom's gone on some trip with the country club women, so we're staying at the house."  
  
Her voice sounds tired on the other end of the phone, but not terribly upset. I take that as a good sign for now.   
  
"How's your dad?"  
  
There's a slight pause before she answers, and a soft rustling of fabric that sounds like she's climbing into bed herself.   
  
"He's...ok, I think. Happy to see me -- and he was asking about you, too. I can tell he's kind of drained with everything that's happening, but he's in better spirits than I expected."  
  
"That's good," I reply softly, "I'm sure he's dealing the best he knows how."  
  
"It makes a little more sense to me," she pauses again, letting out a soft sigh, "why he's choosing this."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"Just...we were talking when I first got here, when he picked me up, and he told me that the last straw had basically been when my mom told him how..." her voice trails off a bit, and I can hear the hurt in her tone, "disgusted she is, basically, that you're having this baby. That we're having another baby. I thought this was all because of me, Arizona, but it's...it's our kids. He said he never wants them to experience what I did."  
  
The brunette's voice wavers a bit, and I hear the rustle of sheets again and a slight sniffle as she wipes what I'm positive are some tears away. My heart aches in my chest -- I wish I was with her right now, wish I could wrap my arms around her and just hold her close.   
  
"He's an amazing grandfather. That's...you know, it's not an easy choice...and he shouldn't have to make it...but that's a pretty heartfelt decision he's making."  
  
"It is," she speaks softly again in my ear, "it kind of puts it all in a whole new light."  
  
A minute of silence passes between us, and I decide to change the subject, knowing my wife needs to get her mind off of the current topic if she's ever going to sleep tonight.   
  
"So Amelia said yes to being godmother -- and to being a guardian for both girls. I don't think she could believe we really chose her."  
  
"Sofia loves her," Callie laughs softly, her tone immediately changing, "she'd probably volunteer to go live with her right now. Easy choice."  
  
"That's what I said. So between her and Alex, it's official. I think we're actually pretty ready for this baby."  
  
"Except for not having any of the basics like, you know, a crib. Or a nursery that's not still half-office with a can of paint and stacks of textbooks sitting in it."  
  
"Let's paint the nursery next weekend then, and go shopping. And we just need to get Sofia's old crib and changing table up from the basement -- you can have those built in no time."  
  
I smile at the lighter tone my wife's voice has taken on now -- she's been antsy for weeks to get the room and all the baby shopping done, so it'll be a nice project for us amidst all the other things going on. And she missed out on a lot of it when our first daughter was born, too, because aside from having the room painted and a little decorated already, we really hadn't done much yet before the car accident and Sofia's early delivery. Mark and I had finished things with her input while she was still in the hospital, but it wasn't the same.  
  
"Okay, next weekend. How're you feeling, by the way? and how's Sofia? Did you guys have a good night?"  
  
"We had a lot of fun. And I'm fine -- although I really, really want barbecue chips and chocolate milk right now. And a maple donut," I sigh longingly, "but mostly I just want you. I miss you."  
  
I shift onto my side carefully and tuck the phone between my ear and the pillow, smoothing my other hand over the empty pillow on her side of the bed. I do miss her -- a lot. Even though I saw her twelve hours ago it seems like forever, and I know I'm a little hormonal and extra touchy feely but still -- I don't like it.  
  
"That's pathetic, isn't it," I grumble a bit, "it's two nights. I'm a grownup."  
  
I hear a slight hum from the other end of the phone, and the sounds of her adjusting in her bed thousands of miles away.   
  
"It's not pathetic, I miss you too."  
  
My fingers play idly with the edge of the pillowcase, the faint scent of her reaching my nose as I inhale softly. It's remarkable to me sometimes, how two people can become so completely ingrained in each other; lives and hearts so totally intertwined that you don't realize it until one of you is missing -- until a part of yourself, really, is missing.   
  
"Do you remember the first time we spent all night on the phone together? That time you went to the ortho conference in Chicago."  
  
"We'd only been dating for like four months," she replies without hesitation, and I can hear the smile in her voice, "and only spending nights together for the last three or four weeks."  
  
"I wasn't going to call -- I didn't think it would be a big deal. You were gone for four days, sure, but I didn't even know if we were really girlfriends or not."  
  
Callie laughs softly before letting out a yawn in my ear.   
  
"Still one of my favourite conversations, the day you asked me that."  
  
"I made it what, though? The first two nights? And I remember just laying in bed in my apartment and just... _missing_  you."  
  
I sigh softly at the memory, a small yawn escaping me as well.   
  
"I loved that you called. I was worried about being clingy, but then..."  
  
"Turned out I was the clingy one," I laugh into my pillow, letting my eyes close, "which was entirely new for me. I kind of hated myself for it."  
  
I snuggle in a little deeper, adjusting the phone so it lays on the pillow beside me, and tapping it to turn on the speaker phone.   
  
"I don't remember what we talked about," Callie yawns again, her voice sounding tired and more relaxed now, "I just remember I really liked hearing your voice. I think that's when I started to fall in love with you. And now look at the trouble I'm in."  
  
Her voice carries a teasing lilt, but I can hear how tired she is, how sleep is finally pulling at her. I hear her breathing start to even out before long and I just listen quietly for a few minutes, eyes still closed, the heaviness of sleep starting to overtake my body as well.   
  
"Don't hang up," I murmur, hoping she can still hear me, "I love you, Calliope."  
  
There's only silence again for a few seconds, but then a reply comes softly down the line and I sigh contently when it does. It's the one thing I'll never get tired of hearing. The one thing I can never hear too much, whether she's laying next to me, or thousands of miles away.  
  
"I love you too."

 


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just feel like I should state that while I haven't experienced any kind of physical disability on my own, I have done a bunch of research and this chapter reflects something I stumbled across and had never really thought of before. That said, this chapter is also just kind of...fun and fluff. At least, I had fun with it. 
> 
> Also, I feel like this story is starting to wind down....I've finally figured out how it ends, and it feels like it's soon going to be time. But if there's anything you'd like to see in between, do let me know! Ideas and comments are always welcome. :)

**_Six weeks later._ **

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I'm somewhere between sleep and consciousness when I vaguely register the sound of my wife's voice talking to me -- or at least I think she's talking to me. Did she say my name?  
  
"Callie!"  
  
Definitely my name. I blink awake, sudden realization hitting my sleep-addled brain, and bolt upright in bed as my eyes immediately go to the woman sitting on the other side.  
  
"I'm awake! Oh my god, is it baby ti--"  
  
My panic trails off when the blonde looks over her shoulder at me, eyebrow quirked slightly in amusement.  
  
"No, still four weeks, honey, don't have a heart attack. But I do have a problem."  
  
I let out a breath to calm my racing heart -- of course we still have four weeks to go, I know that. But I have a feeling that every time my wife wakes me for the next month I'm going to wake in a blind panic expecting her to be in labour.   
  
"What's wrong?" I frown a little, reaching out to rub my hand along her shoulder, "are you okay?"  
  
"I can't get my leg on."  
  
I shift up to crawl over the bed, settling beside her where she sits on the edge.  
  
"Okay well, we can get it adjusted again today...let me see, is your thigh just really swollen this morning?"  
  
"No, I mean..." she pauses, motioning to the artificial limb she's holding upright in front of her, "I can't..." she shifts her position a bit to slip it on, and after struggling for a moment lets out a sigh of frustration, "I can't  _see_  down there anymore. I can't manoeuver around my giant beluga belly to make sure I'm getting it on properly!"  
  
Her eyes drop down to her very large, rounded stomach and she motions helplessly at it.  
  
"I struggled yesterday but I managed to get it on but I just can't reach and what if I didn't get good suction and then I go to stand up and--"  
  
She's more frustrated sounding than anything else, but there's a tinge of worry in her voice and a slight rising panic that I remember from years ago when this was all new to her. I reach over and grab her hand, solidly wrapping my fingers around hers, and she cuts off mid sentence and looks at me with a glaze of barely-there tears across her eyes.  
  
"Hey," I begin, meeting her eyes, "hey, listen. It's okay, Arizona. So I'll help you, this doesn't have to be a big deal. That's why I'm here."  
  
"But it  _is_  a big deal, Callie! If I can't get my prosthetic on by myself that effectively limits my mobility! My independence! Am I just supposed to stay home in bed for the next month? What if you're not here in the morning? What if you're on shift and I'm not, or you get called in the middle of the night and have to leave before me? What then?"  
  
She slips her hand from mine and leans the robotic leg against the bed, her voice raising slightly again.  
  
"Call Sofia? I can't get a five-year-old to help me. And what if she's not here either! I can't be dependent on you like that!"  
  
I climb up, moving to kneel in front of her, and I take both her hands and squeeze until she looks toward me. There's definite panic colouring her eyes now, along with frustration and anger and a lot of the emotions I didn't know how to recognize for a long time after her amputation -- but that I finally learned to understand and read in the other woman. I can tell the wetness gathering in the corners of her eyes is about to fall, and it breaks my heart knowing how upset and vulnerable she must be feeling right now.  
  
"Arizona, sweetie, look at me."  
  
Blue eyes meet mine, and I hold them for a moment before speaking again, squeezing her hands again in a show of solidarity.  
  
"This is going to be alright -- hear me out, okay?"  
  
She nods just a little, pulling one hand back to wipe hastily at her eyes.  
  
"We basically have the same shift schedule as it is -- there's what? One day right now we don't get up and go to work at the same time. So I'll talk to Chief today, and I'm sure she'll understand and I can switch with Carlson, or even Edwards for the next little while. And whenever I'm on call during night shift, if I ever need to leave...well...then I wake you up, help you at least get your leg on before I go. I mean that's not ideal, I know, but you could go back to sleep even with it on if you had to...it's happened before. Then at least you're good to go when you need to get up."  
  
She nods a little again, diverting her eyes from me to her stomach again.  
  
"I mean and honestly, how often does that happen? If anything, when I get paged in the middle of the night it's usually because there's an all-hands-on-deck situation and you'd be going in too."  
  
"Callie...it's not even just...what about getting up in the middle of the night? What if Sofia is calling for me? And I have to pee every couple hours, I don't want to wake you every time I need to get out of bed..."  
  
"Wake me," I insist firmly, reaching up to brush an errant tear running down her cheek, "I don't mind."  
  
The blonde still looks hesitant, so I offer up another answer...although I'm not sure she'll like it.  
  
"Or...we can bring the wheelchai--"  
  
Her reply is quiet, and a little pained, and it makes my heart clench in my chest.  
  
"Callie, no..."  
  
"The crutches, then," I touch her chin, tilting her eyes back up to me, "I'll bring them out from the closet, and we can just leave them within reach. If you need to get up and don't want to wake me, at least you have something, okay? I don't feel great about it...but I know you manoeuver pretty easily with them."  
  
"Yeah..." her lips turn up a little at the corners and she lets out a short laugh, "I have some experience."  
  
I smile right back, taking each of her hands in mine again, my thumb lightly rubbing circles across the warm, soft skin of her palm. I honestly hadn't anticipated this -- neither of us had, clearly -- but I feel like it's something that should have occurred to me. I should have been better prepared for her, to help her deal with this new change -- what I'm sure she's seeing as another betrayal of her body, another fight she has to win against herself.  
  
"I can almost forget most days..." she sighs softly, eyes dropping down to where our hands are joined, "almost. That I'm disabled now, that I'm less than...whole. But then something like this--"  
  
"You are not less than whole, Arizona. You're not less than anything."  
  
"I  _am_  though. And my most important job for the next four weeks is to protect this baby," she drops my hands and softly, protectively curls them around her stomach, "and I could put her in _danger_  because I can't even walk by myself. What if I fall? What if there's an emergency?"  
  
"Arizona."  
  
I press both of my palms to her stomach, gently smoothing them over the taut skin covered by her thin tank top, and the motion silences her, her blue eyes simply watching the motion of my hands.  
  
" _My_  most important job -- always -- is to protect  _you_. You, and Sofia, and Audrey."  
  
She nods just a little, reaching up to wipe the corner of her eye again.  
  
"And I'm not going to let anything happen to you, okay? I'm right here. Right by your side."  
  
The words have barely left my lips when the blonde leans forward, wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders and hugging me as close as she can get. She presses her face into my neck and I just lean up on my knees and let my arms follow suit, curling them around her body securely as she rests against me.   
  
"I love you, do you know that?"   
  
Her voice comes out as a murmur, and I can feel her breath softly tickling the side of my neck as she speaks. I smile, bringing a hand up to stroke through her soft curls, and she just sighs lightly in response -- the familiar action has always given her comfort, and it's always instinctual for me when she's in my arms. I hope I've alleviated some of her worry.  
  
"I do."  
  
"I'm scared."  
  
"It'll be okay. I mean, once you  _do_  have your leg on you can walk just fine, you haven't lost anything--"  
  
"No, I mean--"  
  
She shifts back a bit and I take the opportunity to get off my knees and move up to sit on the bed again. Arizona immediately leans into my side as I slide my arm around her shoulders, and she rests her cheek against the crook of my neck again, curling against me.  
  
"I'm nervous. I only have  _four_  weeks."  
  
I can't help the smile that tugs at my lips as I press a kiss to the top of my wife's head, and I softly smooth my hand in a wide circle over her stomach.   
  
"I know how you feel. But you can do this, sweetie -- after everything else you've been through? This is going to be a piece of cake."  
  
She catches me by surprise when she pokes me hard right in the chest.  
  
"Tell me again when this child is ripping me apart."  
  
"You've got curves --  _really_  great curves -- you'll have good birthing hips."  
  
"Thank you,  _grandma_. That doesn't make me feel better!"  
  
I laugh softly, tilting her chin up so I can kiss those delightfully soft lips of hers again.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry," I kiss her a second time, lightly tugging her pouting bottom lip between my own, "mm, but it'll be okay. I'll be right there with you then, too, and just think of the end result -- we'll get to meet our daughter."  
  
"My lady bits might never be the same, you know."  
  
"Trust me," I glance down at her, licking my lips unconsciously, "I will love your lady bits no matter what. If anything, you really don't have to freak out about that."  
  
Her head falls onto my shoulder again and she slumps against me with a sigh.  
  
"Didn't I used to be the rational, logical one in this marriage?"  
  
"Yeah," I chuckle softly, "but you don't always have to be. I mean, yesterday I came home and you cried for half an hour over the fact that we don't have a Roomba. This is actually kind of mild in comparison."  
  
The smaller woman lets out a soft groan again and hides her face against me.  
  
"I'm a walking pregnant stereotype."  
  
There's a slight pause, and then she laughs lightly, lifting her head and waving her hand toward her shortened limb and the prosthetic still leaning forlornly against the mattress.  
  
"Well. Maybe not  _walking_."  
  
Her laugh rings out again and I shake my head, unable to help myself from joining her as she muffles herself against me, her hand gripping my t-shirt as she explodes with giggles. The sound of a happy Arizona is my favourite sound in the world, and whether it's just a hormonal mood swing or what, my heart swells a little with joy when her vibrant blue eyes look up to meet mine.  
  
"You're ridiculous."  
  
She lets a quick grin grace her features, and I take the opportunity to shift her out of my arms and onto her back, straddling my arms on either side of her as I dip my head to kiss her.  
  
"Mm, you love it."  
  
I smile as she mumbles the words against my lips, her strong fingers sliding into my hair to hold me close as she deepens the kiss.   
  
"I love  _you_."

 

  
*

 

  
"Dr. Torres!"  
  
At the sound of my name I look up from my phone to see our newest addition to the hospital -- Dr. Elise Cassano -- walking my way. Dr. Cassano is the maternal-fetal specialist from Philadelphia here to replace Arizona for the next few months, and even though I harbour a slight streak of jealously for the woman who was my wife's college girlfriend, I have to admit that I actually like her a lot as a person.  
  
"Hey, Dr. Cassano. What's up?"  
  
"I could use a consult. I've got a patient downstairs, thirty-five weeks pregnant, came in after a fall down the front steps of her porch. She's definitely broken her ankle, but I want to make sure it's not going to require surgery. It's a pretty good break judging by the x-rays."  
  
"I can come now," my attention immediately captured, I slip my phone back in my pocket and push myself off the couch to follow her, "is the baby alright? Any other injuries?"  
  
"She's got some good bruising along her hip, but otherwise just the ankle. I'm monitoring the baby but she appears to be nice and snug in there, and I'm not worried right now. Mom's obviously freaked out though."  
  
"Yeah, no kidding."  
  
The slightly shorter brunette hits the buttons as we get into the elevator, glancing toward me with a smile.  
  
"So, excited for the shower this afternoon?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
I look over from watching the elevator lights, a questioning hum leaving my lips.  
  
"The baby shower? It's at three today, right?"  
  
Now I'm  _definitely_  confused -- and immediately a little worried. I didn't plan a baby shower. Arizona didn't want a baby shower.  
  
"Umm...for who?"  
  
Her green eyes flash in amusement as she raises an eyebrow.  
  
"For...Arizona? I got the email invite weeks ago. Dr. Kepner sent them out..." her eyes widen slightly as she takes in my expression, "shit, she said it was a surprise for Arizona but I assumed that you were helping plan it..."  
  
The elevator doors slide open with a ding onto the bustling emergency room floor, and Elise flashes me a sheepish, slightly guilty smile. I follow her out with a feeling of dread building in my chest -- we talked about this; we told all our friends that we didn't want them to do anything big. I'm going to kill April.  
  
If my wife doesn't do it herself, that is.

 

  
*

 

  
The pregnant patient in the ER luckily doesn't require any surgery -- it's a clean break -- but she takes a liking to me so I stay and get the bone set, make her feel a little more comfortable, and get her in a cast before leaving her to Dr. Cassano's care. I spy Alex on my way down the hall and hurry to catch up with the younger man, grabbing his sleeve to get his attention as I fall into step beside him.  
  
"Did you know about this  _baby shower?_ " I hiss under my breath, shooting him a look, "you couldn't have, I don't know, mentioned it to me?!"  
  
The peds doctor turns and gives me a questioning look.  
  
"Dude, I thought you knew about that. Didn't you help plan it? You're all yay parties and stuff."  
  
"No I didn't help plan it! We told people we didn't want any kind of shower."  
  
"Kepner said you were helping her plan it."  
  
Oh, April is in for a world of pain when I find her. I should have known -- I should have been onto her. She loves these things even more than I do.  
  
"Arizona is going to freak -- I need to give her advance warning this is happening. You know she hates these things, Alex! She hates having the attention on her. And she hates surprises."  
  
He gives me a look of disbelief and holds his hands and tablet up between us in defense.  
  
"It wasn't  _my_  idea. Besides, once she gets there she'll be fine, you worry too much -- and she's in surgery," he checks his watch, "right now with Gillis. They're gonna be in there until at least two-thirty."  
  
Great, I groan inwardly. My wife is going to be exhausted after a long surgery, and she's going to be pissed off when she gets led into a surprise party immediately afterward. Or she's going to burst out crying -- I really hope she doesn't burst out crying.   
  
"You know, she's going to be mad at you too for not telling her."  
  
He pauses just slightly, his face taking on a slightly worried expression as he contemplates this fact.  
  
"Shit. Why am I even friends with you people?"

 

  
*

 

  
I try to take Karev's advice and not worry too much about the impending "event" happening later in the day, and I end up setting another bone in the ER and doing some work on my latest project in the lab, becoming completely distracted until I realize it's nearly two o'clock and I haven't had any lunch yet.  
  
Locking up the robotics equipment in the small room, I shrug my lab coat back on and head towards the cafeteria, scanning the room as I wait in line with my sandwich for any familiar faces to sit with. I know my wife's still in her surgery -- I checked on my way here -- but after a minute I spot Amelia across the room and wind my way through the tables to get to her.  
  
"Shepherd!" I drop into the chair across from the slightly startled brunette and open the saran wrap on my chicken sandwich, "what's the deal with this baby shower for Arizona? Do you even know how pissed she's going to be when she finds out you didn't tell us?!"  
  
"Hey, hey whoa now--" the neurosurgeon flips her notebook shut and points at me, eyebrow raised, "for your information, I wasn't even  _invited_  to this thing until yesterday. Because _apparently_  Kepner forgot that, you know, Arizona and I are friends or anything. I'm her best friend -- we hang out all the time around this place. I'm the baby's freaking godmother!"  
  
I take a bite of the lackluster sandwich and roll my eyes a little at the smaller woman's indignation.  
  
"April's also one of her best friends, you know. You should get to know her better -- surprisingly I think you two would actually get along."  
  
Amelia raises her coffee cup to her lips and lets out a slight huff.  
  
"But anyways, it's not that big a deal, right? I know you guys said not to plan any big thing, but blah blah baby showers are cute -- it'll be kinda sweet. You'll get gifts."  
  
"Arizona hates having all the attention on her -- you know that. That's exactly why she didn't want a shower."  
  
She hums and nods a bit in agreement, but shrugs a shoulder as she gives me a helpless look.  
  
"Well, she's getting one. I already saw Kepner hanging streamers and balloons before I came down to lunch. And a crap ton of food and cupcakes were already there -- I think the entire nursing staff brought something. People really like her, you know. I mean, you're both pretty liked and you're kind of that disgustingly-sweet-fairy-tale couple of the hospital, but people  _really_ love Arizona. This is a whole shindig. I think there are  _crafts_."  
  
Groaning slightly as I pick up my cup, I take a long sip of the hot liquid.  
  
"That's what I was afraid of. And she just wasn't have a great morning today; this is the last thing she needs."  
  
"I can go up there and disband the merry troops."  
  
"No, you can't," I sigh, setting the cup down again, "April will be crushed. And then Arizona will be upset that April is upset, and that we forced everyone to cancel after they did all this work. I just have to warn her when she gets out of surgery."  
  
Amelia lets out a half laugh and leans back in her chair, arms crossing over her chest.  
  
"I can't wait to see how this goes down."  
  
I just shake my head at the other doctor and we sit in companionable silence for a bit as I finish off my sandwich and people mill back and forth past our table. I appreciate Amelia's dedication and willingness to go kick some party-planning ass, but there really just isn't a good way out of this. Personally, I actually don't mind...and if I'm honest, I'm kind of excited. I love baby showers. But I caved to Arizona on this and I wanted to hold up my end of the bargain.  
  
"In other news--"  
  
I glance over as the brunette starts to talk again, her eyes flitting across the room to a few people who have just wandered into the cafeteria line.  
  
"What do you know about Elise Cassano?"  
  
The name rolls off her lips in what's almost a hushed tone -- almost like she's deliberately feeling the name out.  
  
"Uh, probably about as much as you?" I follow her eyes and see the other doctor chatting with a resident, "Arizona and her did their undergrad together. I haven't really talked to her much yet, but she seems nice. Supposed to be brilliant. Why?"  
  
"She's hot, right? Like, really gorgeous."  
  
I blink, stunned into silence for a minute. Where the hell did that come from?  
  
"Uh...sure?" I look over again, then look back at the woman in front of me, "I mean yeah, she's pretty...wait, are you..."  
  
I watch her eyes as they linger on the new doctor again.  
  
"Oh my god," I lower my voice to a whisper, "Amelia you're totally checking her out, aren't you. And not being very subtle. I thought you weren't into women!"  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
Her eyes snap back to meet mine, a faint blush colouring her cheeks -- extremely uncharacteristic of the badass younger Shepherd. I've definitely caught her with a schoolgirl crush.  
  
"Yeah, that look in your eyes says otherwise."  
  
"I'm not into women!" she insists again, but slides down her chair a little with a groan, "okay, well you weren't into women before Arizona either, so you know--"  
  
Smirking slightly, I glance at my watch and gather up my trash. It's two-thirty; Arizona should be out of surgery any minute now, so I need to try and hunt her down.  
  
"I have to go, but we are so talking about this later. And I'm telling Arizona."  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"But you loooooove Dr. Cassano."  
  
I grin good-naturedly and laugh as I hear the embarrassed neurosurgeon's parting words.  
  
"I'm going to teach your baby swear words!"

 

  
*

 

  
"That was great work in there today, Dr. Gillis. And I want to point out how well you handled the father's questions just now too--"  
  
I hear the sound of my wife's voice from down the hall and look up to finally lay eyes on the blonde peds doctor, talking animatedly with her fellow surgeon as they walk towards me. She's still in scrubs, but her lab coat is back on and her scrub cap is tucked into her pocket with her hair let loose from its pinned-back style, so they're clearly done in the OR and heading towards the party. Gillis must be in on this.  
  
"Thanks, Dr. Robbins-Torres," the young doctor smiles as I watch, "um...I need to head up to the fourth floor...walk with me? I'd just like to ask a few questions about--"  
  
Aha! She's totally the bait to lead Arizona upstairs, and that's my cue to swoop in.  
  
"Actually, I need to talk to Dr. Robbins-Torres for a minute," I interrupt the pair, and Arizona blinks up in surprise at me, "it's important."  
  
"Callie, hey, just give me a sec."  
  
"Um, it's okay!" Dr. Gillis smiles, shooting me a knowing look, "I'll catch up with you later."  
  
"What about your questions?"  
  
"I should go update the chart first anyway."  
  
With that, the young doctor turns and takes off toward the stairwell, and Arizona glances at me with a slightly perplexed look.   
  
"That was weird."  
  
"Come with me," I take her hand and lead her around the corner, slowing us down as we head toward the elevators at the far end of the hall, "okay, there's something you need to know. And don't freak out, okay?"  
  
The blonde stops walking, raising her eyebrow with a touch of concern colouring her face.  
  
"Do I...have reason to freak out? Did something happen with Sofia? Is she okay?"  
  
"She's fine," I squeeze her hand, taking a slightly nervous breath, "but...I need to warn you that upstairs, right now, there is a giant surprise baby shower waiting for you to walk in."  
  
I don't even take a minute to gauge her reaction before I continue, lowering my voice to a slightly hushed tone.  
  
"And I just want to say, I had  _nothing_  to do with it -- I swear to you. Elise spilled the beans earlier and apparently April planned it and it's become this huge thing and all the nurses brought food and it was supposed to be a surprise for both of us. If I'd known I would have told you. I know you didn't want anything...and you hate surprises...and I was going to go yell at Kepner earlier but I know she's probably put a ton of work into this and--"  
  
Blue eyes blink in surprise as I trail off in a ramble, and she looks down at her round belly before meeting my eyes again, her lips twitching upwards into a...smile.   
  
"Calliope, it's okay."  
  
Now I'm the one who's surprised, and I pause, tilting my head a little to look at her.  
  
"Wait...you're not mad?"  
  
"I'm not mad," she lets out a soft laugh, almost musical to my ears, and runs her hand along my arm reassuringly, "I mean, I really  _didn't_  want anything, but I should have known to expect it from April."  
  
"Yeah I had no idea, honestly."  
  
"I'm glad you warned me," she leans in, kissing me lightly, "but really, it's okay. It might even be kind of fun."  
  
I'm still a little stunned at her positive reaction -- I honestly thought she was going to freak out at the idea of a party laying in wait for her. She flashes me an almost delighted grin though and glances upwards at the ceiling.  
  
"Do you think they have a onesie decorating station up there?"  
  
"Okay--" I take a step back, eyes scanning over her in amusement, "where is my wife and what have you done with her?"  
  
She laughs again, grabbing my hand to continue walking toward the elevators. Our fingers link easily together, and she looks over and smiles again as she reaches out to hit the up button.  
  
"I might be going soft. Think you'll still love me?"  
  
She steps into the empty carriage when the doors open and I follow her in, wrapping my arms around her waist as I pull my body flush against her. Every day, every time I think it's impossible to love this woman more...she surprises me.   
  
"I'll always love you."  
  
I drop a soft kiss on her lips as the elevator rises, and she lets out a content sigh, looping her arms up and around my neck.  
  
"I was worried you were going to cry."  
  
"I mean I'll be honest, if you hadn't told me in advance, that would have been a real possibility."  
  
"Make sure you act surprised though," I laugh softly, "or April's going to kill me."  
  
The door dings to signify our entrance to the fourth floor, and the smaller woman pulls away, shooting me a slight grin as we exit into the hallway. The space is surprisingly empty and quiet, a slight hum of chatter sounding in the background, but I can just make out a bit of pink streamer along the door to the lounge down the hall.  
  
"Most importantly--" Arizona takes my hand and heads down the hall, "do you think they have party potatoes? Baby girl is  _hungry_."

 


	37. Chapter 37

**_Arizona_ **

  
“Mommaaaaaa.”  
  
I look down surprised at the tear-stained little face of my daughter as she rushes at me after school, colliding into my legs and wrapping her arms around me tightly. She burrows her face against my stomach and sniffles a little as I run my hand over her hair, and I can feel my heart constrict in my chest with concern.  
  
“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”  
  
I look down and softly cup her cheek, running my thumb just under her eye to catch an errant tear. God, I can’t stand to see my daughter upset. I’m going to find whoever caused this and cause  _them_  bucketloads of pain – I don’t care if they are five years old.  
  
“Momma,” she sniffs a little, letting go of me and grabbing my hand, “I love you so so so so much.”  
  
Taking her cue, I take her hand and slowly lead us towards the car, brow still furrowed in concern as I look down at her.  
  
“I know you do, sweetie. I love you too.  _So_  much.”  
  
I help her as she tugs open the door to the backseat and tosses her small backpack in, and although I can’t really crouch down anymore, once she climbs onto the seat it puts her a little closer to my eye level. She sniffles a little bit, rubbing her nose, and I gently tuck some loose hair behind her ear, leaning in to drop a kiss on her temple.  
  
“What happened, Sof?”  
  
“I told James I was getting a baby sister soon,” she bites her lip, worrying it just like Callie does, “and he says...” she sniffs, big, brown eyes watering again, “he says you’re gonna love the baby more than me. And he says you never going to play with me anymore.”  
  
The gathering tears overflow, running down her cheeks again as she looks at me, and it’s like I can feel my heart shatter into a million pieces.  
  
“Oh, Sofia, sweetie...” I wipe her tears softly, pressing another kiss to her forehead, “that’s not true at all. Mommy and I are going to love you forever, no matter how many other babies there are.”  
  
“I don’t want the baby anymore!”  
  
I reach into the car and hug her to me, and she clings onto my shirt immediately, her words muffling against my shoulder.  
  
“You’re  _my_  momma.”  
  
“I know I am, baby. I’m always going to be yours, I promise.”  
  
Pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head, I hold her for a moment longer despite the awkward positioning half in and half out of the backseat. It kills me that anyone would tell her that – and that she would actually think that, even for a minute. I’ve never loved anyone or anything as much as I love the tiny human in my arms. I feel a sudden wave of sadness rush over me – maybe we haven’t been showing her that enough.  
  
“You promise?”  
  
She leans back again and looks at me, her little fingers playing with the heart pendant around my neck.  
  
“I promise. How about you and I go have a cupcake date together? We still have a couple hours before Mom comes home.”  
  
Brown eyes widen a bit in surprise, and her lips turn upwards into a small smile.  
  
“Cupcakes before supper?!”  
  
I smooth her hair down and grin, reaching over to secure her seatbelt.  
  
“Yep. What do you say?”  
  
“Yeah!”

 

  
*

 

  
Our neighbourhood is just on the outskirts of downtown, and on the other side of the park there’s a rapidly growing community of little shops and restaurants, trendy cafés, a used bookstore, a small food market. It was one of the reasons we fell in love with the area when we started looking for a house – not only for ourselves, but they were also the kinds of places I could imagine Sofia and her friends hanging out at when she’s older; walking down to the candy shop, or the cafés...hopefully avoiding the small tattoo parlour (although at least it looks like a clean, classy establishment).  
  
I had actually only discovered the little cupcakery when Callie and I were separated, and when I no longer lived in the neighbourhood, but it had become one of Sofia and I’s favourite places to go on the days she was with me. We’d been there as a family since then, but Callie just didn’t have the same fondness for the overly decorative, overly sugary little treats, so it was still kind of a special place for the two of us. And it was kind of nice to have that.  
  
“Which one do you want?”  
  
Tears forgotten, the little girl is peering into the glass counter at the numerous cupcakes on display, all with frosting an inch high and ornate swirls and decorations covering the top.  
  
“All of them.”  
  
I laugh softly, stepping up behind her, and she leans back into me automatically while she contemplates.  
  
“Well, maybe let’s start with just one.”  
  
“That one,” she points at a pink cake topped with fluffy white swirls and a strawberry, “it’s pink!”  
  
Smiling at the women behind the counter, I point down at the strawberry shortcake.  
  
“We’ll take one of the strawberry, and one of the vanilla caramel please.”  
  
The small place is empty except for two older ladies sitting at a corner table, so I nudge Sofia slightly until she looks up at me.  
  
“Why don’t you go choose a table? Anywhere you want.”  
  
I pay for the cupcakes and watch out of the corner of my eye while she hops into a chair near the window, and a few moments later I join her, setting the sweet concoction down in front of her as her eyes light up with delight. I settle down across from her, and can't help laugh a little as she immediately swipes her finger through the frosting, licking a huge glob of it into her mouth.  
  
"Good?"  
  
"Mmmm."  
  
We pick at our cupcakes in silence for a few moments, and I mostly just watch my daughter across the table, taking in every facial expression and movement, trying to commit every moment to memory. She's growing up way too fast for my liking, and it's never been more noticeable than in the last six months.  
  
"Sof, I want you to remember that I meant what I said earlier, okay? Just because the new baby will be here soon, mommy and I aren't going to love you any less -- not at all."  
  
She glances up, her expressive brown eyes meeting mine, and she nods just a little.  
  
"Will you have time to play? James says the baby is more important."  
  
"We will definitely still make time to play -- I promise," I pause for a moment, "it will be more busy at home though -- a new baby can be a lot of work to take care of."  
  
It occurs to me -- of course, it occurs to me when I'm literally about to give birth in two weeks -- that we haven't  _really_  talked to Sofia about what a newborn in the house will entail. She's just been excited about it up until now, and we've only talked about all the fun things.  
  
"Why?"   
  
She picks the paper off her cupcake and looks at me curiously.  
  
"Well...little babies can't do things on their own. She'll cry a lot when she wants something, and she'll need me to feed her all the time, and keep her clean, and she'll need lots and lots of cuddles."  
  
"I need lots of cuddles too!"  
  
She looks rather indignant, and I smile, reaching across the table to tuck some hair behind her ear before it ends up in the frosting.  
  
"You can help then, you're my best little cuddler! I bet you'll be a big help with taking care of your sister."  
  
"I can help?" she looks a little tentative, but then nods, "Zola helps Bailey when he can't do something. I can do that too."  
  
"Exactly. And you know how you like to practice your reading with mom and me? Audrey will really like it if you practice reading to her."  
  
At that she beams -- she loves books, and for a five-year-old she has a surprisingly good grasp of written words already.   
  
"Will she come for cupcakes too?"  
  
Unsure for a moment of exactly which answer is best...I study the small brunette, trying to imagine how things might change in the near future. I'm excited, but I also  _don't_  want everything to change. Sofia is always going to have her very own place in my heart.  
  
"Maybe sometimes, but I think you and I should still have cupcake dates with just us, too."  
  
I see the smile cross her face immediately, and I know that was the perfect answer -- for both of us. I want my daughters to be close, and I want them to love each other, but I also always want them to know how special they each are. How much they  _each_  mean to Callie and I.  
  
"I like that too."

 

  
*

 

  
I text Callie when she's about to leave work and ask her to pick up something for supper, and Sofia and I arrive home just a few minutes before her car pulls into the driveway.   
  
"Hey."  
  
The brunette greets me with a kiss when I meet her in the front hall, and she glances at the discarded backpack and jacket on the bench.  
  
"Did you guys just get home?"  
  
"We went for cupcakes after school," I take the bag of food and peer inside at various Thai takeout boxes, "we...needed a little mama-daughter time."  
  
She gives me a slightly curious look but doesn't ask anything further, instead just hanging her jacket up and then laying her hands over my stomach, slipping under the hem of my t-shirt until her cool palms rest against my skin. She smiles softly, crouching down to eye level with my belly button, and speaks softly as the baby kicks and stretches against me.  
  
"Hi, baby girl."  
  
I watch her, a smile spreading across my face at how utterly adorable she is, and she glances up, stilling her hands.  
  
"That ICU nurse, Tess, brought her son in today -- god, he was so cute and tiny, only two months old. I forgot how small they are, you know?"  
  
She leans in and presses a kiss to the front of my stomach, and grins as something jabs me hard -- an elbow maybe? Or a foot.  
  
"Ow, hey..." I rub my hand over my side, "a little more gently in there."  
  
"She's just excited to get out here, aren't you little one? We get to meet you in two weeks, little A. That's so soon."  
  
She rolls and moves even more -- she's been so active lately -- and some other small body part presses hard into my bladder, immediately causing me to let out a heavy sigh. Callie straightens up, grinning slightly at the look on my face, but I just wrinkle my nose with a little bit of contempt.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have to pee. Again." I thrust the food bag back at her and turn to waddle down the hall to the bathroom, "for the last time, Audrey -- bladder: not a squeeze toy!"

 

  
*

 

  
Before we know it, supper is over and a very tired little girl is bathed and in bed, and I watch from the couch as Callie makes her way back into the living room, cup of steaming tea in her hand.  
  
"Here you go."  
  
She sets it on the table beside me and settles onto the couch. I've been sitting with my feet up and my back against one arm, so she curls into a cross-legged position and pulls my feet into her lap, smoothing her hand along my bare ankle.  
  
"Thanks. Can you..." I nod to my prosthetic, and she reaches up to expertly release the casing, easing it off gently and setting it down on the floor, "thanks."  
  
My thigh is throbbing slightly, a little swollen, and I sigh softly at the relief of cool air washing over it. I let my other leg bend at the knee, bringing it a little closer to my body, and Callie immediately understands, scooting closer until her hands wrap around my remaining limb, strong fingers kneading into the muscle.  
  
"Are you okay? You seemed a little preoccupied earlier."  
  
"Yeah, I'm just..."  
  
I glance down to where my hands are resting over my stomach.  
  
"Do you think we've been spending enough time with Sofia lately? We've had so much on the go...finishing the baby room, shopping, I've been so occupied making sure things at work are in order for when I'm gone..."  
  
"I don't think we've spent any  _less_  time than normal with her."  
  
Strong hands massage the muscle of my thigh -- already making it feel immensely better -- and I let out a soft sigh, both at the relaxing sensation and at the thoughts swirling through my mind.  
  
"I know, but," I look over and watch my wife, "maybe we should have been spending  _more_  time. She's only got another two weeks to be an only child -- maybe we should have done more with her, given her some special time with us. I'm worried she's going to feel left out once the baby is here."  
  
The other woman frowns a bit, her brow furrowing in concern.  
  
"Where is all this coming from? Do you really think so?"  
  
"Some kid at school today told her that we wouldn't love her as much, once we had a new baby."  
  
Callie shifts back on the couch and guides my other leg to stretch out into her lap, rubbing her hands along my tired and swollen foot instead.  
  
"That's bullshit. Why are kids like that?"  
  
"Maybe it was true with his parents, you don't know. Some people are like that, I think."  
  
She massages the sore muscles in the sole of my foot and just thinks quietly for a moment, her eyes conveying a slight tinge of worry now at my words.  
  
"Sof knows we love her though."  
  
"She does. We talked about it when we went for cupcakes, and I reassured her that it wouldn't change how we feel about her -- and that we'd still have time for her. I just..." I watch her and sigh softly, "I'm worried now. I mean things  _are_  going to be more hectic around here...and mom and dad'll be here and they'll be fussing over the baby, and she's going to cry at night and I'll be exhausted --  _you'll_  be exhausted too--"  
  
"Hey -- hey," she stills her hands, looking up and interrupting me softly, "that doesn't mean we won't make time for her, too. Arizona, you used to come home after eighteen hour shifts and still make her breakfast and make sure she got her princess braids. You're more likely to not make time for me."  
  
Her last words carry a slightly teasing tone, and she rubs her hand up my calf lovingly.  
  
"Honestly, I think she's going to be okay. I think she's old enough to understand. And she might even like helping out, you know? I bet it'll make her feel special."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
Her hands knead and smooth over my muscles silently, and a small smile tugs at her lips after a moment.  
  
"I love how protective you are though."  
  
"She's my baby--" I trail off, smiling a bit to myself, "do you remember the moment we first heard her heartbeat? God, I'll never forget that."  
  
Callie's smile widens, and she stills her hands again, looking up at me.  
  
"It was so amazing."  
  
"It was like it just...it really hit me in that moment, you know? I sort of thought I'd grow into being a parent. That I'd need time to grow into it, wrap my head around it. But when we heard that little heartbeat..."  
  
I shake my head a little, smiling again at the memory that's still so vivid in my mind.  
  
"I felt like a  _mom_. I was completely and irrevocably hers."  
  
The other woman just grins, chuckling softly.  
  
"I know you were. And the look on your face that night was unbelievably adorable."  
  
I run my hand down over the round swell of my belly, pressing my palm in against Audrey as I feel her move around a little. She's clearly awake right now, and she immediately kicks back against my hand, feeling the touch and probably hearing the sounds of our voices.  
  
"She's awake now. Feel."  
  
I reach for Callie's hand and press it over the same spot, laying mine on top of hers. She presses in and Audrey responds again, bringing a smile to the other woman's face.  
  
"Hey there, little one."  
  
"Do you think we'll have more, after her?"  
  
The unbidden question leaves my lips before I even realize, and I see my wife's eyes flicker up to me in surprise.  
  
"Do you want more?"  
  
I look down to where the faint movement of our baby is actually visible inside of me, small bumps and ripples moving across my stomach. Do I want more? I'm not even sure where that question came from. I didn't know I was even thinking it, if I'm honest.  
  
"I don't really know. Maybe?" I laugh softly, shaking my head, "we should worry about having this one first."  
  
"Arizona Robbins: complete and utter softie."  
  
"We just make awesome kids, that's all. You can't deny that."  
  
"Well, we don't know how Audrey's going to turn out yet."  
  
I raise my eyebrow slightly, seeing the slight smirk pull at the brunette's lips.  
  
"Oh, she's going to be  _awesome._ "

 

  
*

 

  
**_One week later_ **

  
"The end."  
  
I close the last page of the book I was reading to Sofia and glance down at the little girl in her bed. She lets out a yawn, curling onto her side against me where I'm sitting beside her, and lets out a sleepy mumble.  
  
"Another."  
  
"I think it's time to sleep, baby, " I whisper softly, soothingly rubbing her side, "close your eyes."  
  
Her breathing starts to even out after just a few minutes, so I quietly slip away and push myself to standing, flipping off the bedside lamp and leaving the bedroom in just the gentle glow of the nightlight in the corner. I slide the book back onto her shelf and make my way down the hall, letting out a small groan as I rub my lower back. Over the last few weeks, my gait has noticeably slowed and become a little more laboured -- the weight has just thrown me off balance at this point, and my back is definitely feeling it. One more week though. Tomorrow is Friday, and officially my last day at work before I start my maternity leave. I haven't been in surgery, really, for the last month or so -- but Elise has taken over pretty seamlessly, and between her and our fellow, I'm happy enough that the department will run smoothly.  
  
"Back aching?"  
  
Callie looks up as I walk into the kitchen, and I smile when I see that she's mixing up a couple mugs of hot chocolate for us. Despite the fact that it's August, it's been the one drink I've craved more than anything over the last few weeks -- and especially when she makes it from scratch.  
  
"Killing me. But Sofia's asleep, and after I drink that," I point, sighing happily, "I think I'm going to follow suit. I'm exhausted today."  
  
I come to stand beside her at the island, and she shifts behind me after a second, rubbing her hands down over my back with a gentle touch. When she reaches my lower back she kneads softly into the muscle, and I groan slightly, bracing my hands on the counter top.  
  
"Oh...that's good."  
  
"We can go lay down," she drops a soft kiss on my shoulder, "I'll give you a real massage."  
  
"Mm no this is good, just keep doing what you're doing. I don't want to move."  
  
Strong fingers continue to knead into my lower back, working through the stiff, achy muscles, and I hum a little as she finds a particularly tight spot and works at it. Marrying an orthopedic surgeon was the best idea I ever had -- those hands are golden.  
  
"Tell me about your day."  
  
"Well..." she starts slowly, considering as her hands work at my back, "it was a pretty good day. I did the final surgery on Julie Davis -- remember her? It went really, really well. We've done a total reconstruction of her hand at this point and I'm pretty confident she's going to have full use of it with a some physio--"  
  
Her voice soothes me, and I let out a soft sigh, just content to listen to her while her hands move across my back. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think the muscle spasms I've been having all evening may be the beginnings of some mild contractions -- possibly just Braxton Hicks though, since I'm still a bit early. I can feel Audrey moving around a little now -- although she hasn't been active at all since this afternoon -- and then a strange sensation catches me by surprise. Almost like a hard kick, but...different.  
  
And then what happens next catches me even  _more_  by surprise.  
  
I feel a rush of wetness between my legs and the fabric of my grey yoga pants is immediately soaking as I freeze, looking down to where a tiny pool of liquid is gathering on the kitchen floor.  
  
"Um...Callie, I think my--"  
  
"Oh my god, your water just broke."

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this story is about to come to an end. I didn't entirely plan how it would end at first, but it sort of just happened naturally and so there's one more chapter after this, plus an epilogue. They're already written, so I won't keep you in suspense too long between the next updates. :)
> 
> As always, thank you for your wonderful comments!

_"Oh my god, your water broke."_

  
*

  
**_Callie_ **

  
"Okay, okay we need to get to the hospital. Are you okay? It's a week early! I'll get your bag."  
  
I wouldn't say I'm  _freaking out_  per se, but there's a definite edge of panic in my mind as I come to terms with the fact that holy shit -- my wife is in labour. Right now. Right here. In our kitchen.  
  
"I'm okay. And we've got time, I'm barely feeling contractions yet."  
  
"But you  _have_  felt some?!"  
  
"Well..." the blonde leans back on the island, hand rubbing the underside of her stomach, "I think? It felt more like a back spasm but..."  
  
"Okay yeah," I take her hand, leading her slowly to a chair at the table, "we're going right to the hospital."  
  
I try to coax the smaller woman to sit down at the table, but she resists, shooing my hand away.  
  
"Call Amelia first."  
  
I'm genuinely confused for a minute -- the neurosurgeon is not my first thought right now -- and I raise an eyebrow at the blonde as I keep hold of her hands, steadying her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Call Amelia. She can come stay with Sofia so we don't have to wake her yet."  
  
"Right. Okay, I'll call Amelia. And get the bag. I'll be right back...will you sit please?"   
  
I'm fully aware than I'm rambling right now, but I can't help it. And Arizona is way too calm looking for someone who just went into labour, so clearly one of us has to do the panicking here.  
  
"Calliope."  
  
She eases herself down into the chair, grabbing my wrist as I turn to leave the room, and I let out a quick breath as I look back and meet her gaze. Now that I really look at her there's a clear nervousness in her eyes, and a lot of uncertainty, but she lets out a soft breath and smiles up me all the same.  
  
"I'm having our baby."  
  
The way she speaks the words -- almost reverently -- brings a smile to my own face, and it only takes a few seconds for it to turn into a full-blown grin as I grasp her hand in mine and lean in to brush a kiss against her lips.  
  
"You're having our baby," I pull back and laugh softly, then lean in to kiss her again, "I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too," she grins at me, squeezing my hand, "okay, now go call Amelia."  
  
I laugh and grab my phone off the counter, heading out into the hall. She knew I needed a moment to calm down, and like always, she managed it with nothing more than a touch and a few words. Now it's my turn to keep it together, because my wife -- my beautiful, amazing, miraculous wife -- needs me now more than ever.  
  
"And bring me dry pants!"

 

  
*

 

  
It's about forty minutes before we actually get to the hospital and into a delivery room, and although logically I know we have plenty of time to wait, I feel better once Arizona is settled in bed and Dr. Neale is on her way to see us. I've read the books, and the blogs -- I've read them twice now, actually, and you know, I've been to medical school -- but all of this...the labour, the birth, it's all technically new to both of us. And I know women do it every day, and I know it's natural, and her body is made for it, and it's going to be just fine...but there's still so much that could go wrong. And it's me. It's  _us_. Everything seems to go wrong in our lives and it really hadn't hit me until now how utterly terrified I am now that this is actually happening.  
  
"Calliope, come here."  
  
I look over toward the bed and see the blonde holding out her hand, urging me closer. I let out the breath I've been holding and make my way over, and she immediately slides her fingers through mine, linking us tightly together. She holds my gaze, waiting for me to speak, and my eyes flutter closed for a moment as I try to ground myself in her.  
  
"I just want her to be here and I want both of you to be okay."  
  
I feel a light squeeze on my hand and I glance down to meet her eyes again.  
  
"We're going to be okay, Callie."  
  
"I'm sorry I'm not very good at this. I'm supposed to be the calm, reassuring one here. The one  _not_ giving birth."  
  
She laughs softly, her other hand coming to rest around her gigantic stomach, and she lays back against the pillows again.  
  
"It's okay. You freak out now, and then I'll freak out a little later. Cause this hasn't been so bad for me ye--"  
  
A surprised -- and pained -- look suddenly crosses her face and she gasps a little, her grip tightening around my hand. She'd started having a few more contractions on the way here, but she said none of them had felt like much more than a twitch. Apparently, we've moved beyond that stage.  
  
"Okay...okay I take it back," she breathes out, "that  _hurt_."  
  
"You better get used to it."  
  
We both look up at the familiar voice as Dr. Neale strides into the room, a smile on her face as she grabs some disposable gloves from the side table. Arizona lets out a grumble in response as the contraction passes and I brush some stray hair behind her ear, leaning in to drop a kiss on her forehead.  
  
"You two are a little earlier than expected," the other doctor wheels her stool over, sitting by the foot of the bed, "baby Torres is anxious to make her appearance I guess."  
  
"Ironic, cause older Torres is always late."  
  
Arizona laughs then, looking back up at me, and I grin as I feel some of the tension from earlier leave my body.  
  
"It's true. She often is."  
  
"I'm just going to take a look, alright? How far apart have your contractions been so far?"  
  
"Still about seven or eight minutes," I reply immediately, "and this seemed like the strongest one so far."  
  
Looking to the blonde for confirmation, I see her nod, and Dr. Neale carefully does her initial examination before sitting back a moment later.  
  
"Okay well, you're only about three centimetres dilated, Arizona, so looks like we have a while to wait."  
  
She pulls the gloves off and gets up, tossing them into the waste bin before making a quick note on her tablet.   
  
"Try to take it easy for now. Feel free to get up and walk around, or go have a bite to eat if you're hungry. It could be an hour, it could be six -- but I'll be back to check on you before long, alright?"  
  
"Thanks, Jackie."  
  
"Callie, you doing alright there?"  
  
She glances my way, a small smile on her face as she picks up her tablet again.  
  
"She's got nervous dad syndrome."  
  
Arizona's completely deadpan tone breaks whatever was left of my nervous facade, and a laugh bubbles up from my throat as she gives me an adorable look.  
  
"God, I really do. I have a uterus, I should be better than this."  
  
Dr. Neale just chuckles softly, turning towards the door to leave us alone again.  
  
"You're going to be just fine."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Five hours later_ **

  
"Okay, eight centimetres dilated. We're doing good here. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Tired. And the hard part hasn't even started."  
  
Dr. Neale grins at my wife and pulls the sheet back down over her legs, moving the stirrups out of the way.  
  
"Your labour has actually been moving along pretty quickly for a first time, so it probably won't be too much longer. Try and get some rest if you can."  
  
I squeeze the blonde's hand, lifting it to press a soft kiss to her fingers. It's been nearly five hours since we came to the hospital, and it's one in the morning, and to say it's been a long night already is putting it mildly.   
  
"Easy for you to say."

 

  
*

 

  
"How's the mother-to-be...uh, well, mothers-to-be?"  
  
Alex pokes his head around the corner shortly after Dr. Neale takes off, and I look up from the chair, surprised to see him there.  
  
"Hey, Alex. What're you doing here?"  
  
The younger man walks into the room, nodding at Arizona in greeting as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his lab coat and stands at the end of the bed.  
  
"I'm on night shift. I heard you guys were up here and just wanted to see how you were doing. How's the mini-me?"  
  
"She's taking her sweet time," Arizona laughs a little, shaking her head, "and I knew it would be like this, but I just want her out here already."  
  
"She's still only at eight centimetres," I supply helpfully, "but getting there."  
  
"Oh yeah," he glances over her, "you're almost there then, don't worry."  
  
"Alex! Keep your eyes up here!"  
  
He snorts back a laugh, moving around the bed to come closer, and slides his hand over the blonde's shoulder with an affectionate squeeze.  
  
"I'm gonna keep my eyes out of here, don't worry. But you call me as soon as I can meet her."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Two hours later_ **

  
"Please tell me ten centimetres."  
  
Arizona's face winces slightly in pain as a contraction rolls through her body -- they're even more frequent now, and stronger, and although she has a low-dose epidural in place, I know she can still feel some of the discomfort.  
  
"Nine centimetres. Hang in there."  
  
I let out a sigh, watching as the doctor pulls off her gloves and disposes of them again, checking her watch and promising to be back within the half hour. I can't stand being in a hospital room and not being able to  _do_  anything. Being on this end of things sucks.  
  
"Almost, sweetie. It's almost time."  
  
I brush her hair back gently as she drops her head onto the pillow, but she only glares up at me with a withering look of frustration.  
  
"It's been  _almost_  time for seven hours! Don't tell me it's almost time."  
  
"You're so close now though -- and just think, our little girl is going to be here after all of this."  
  
"You did this to me, Calliope Torres. I really don't like you right now."

 

  
*

 

  
**_One hour later_ **

  
It's got to be time. It's four in the morning, and neither of us have slept more than an hour or two, and at this point I'm ready to get down there and bribe our daughter out myself. Maybe if I offer her a pony when she's older -- or a car.  _Some_ thing to get her out of there.  
  
Dr. Neale has just come back into the room -- looking pretty well-rested, I may add -- and I watch anxiously as she examines my wife one more time. Arizona's contractions have been really, _really_  close together for the last twenty minutes, and she's grown even more restless. I really hope this is it.  
  
"Arizona, it's time."  
  
At the doctor's words, my eyes snap up and widen in shock. I look down at the blonde and see a similar expression on her face, and she swallows hard, gripping the sheets in her fists a little tighter.  
  
"Freaking finally!"  
  
A nurse appears in the room a moment later -- Dr. Neale must have just paged her -- and she quickly busies herself setting up the tray by the bed and helping the older doctor gown up at the foot of the bed. Arizona looks up at me with a suddenly terrified look on her face, her breathing a little heavier, and after the last eight hours of impatient waiting I think reality is hitting both of us square in the face.  
  
"Callie I don't know if I can do this."  
  
I register the slight panic in her eyes and immediately grasp her hand, squeezing it firmly in my own.   
  
"You can do this. You're amazing."  
  
"Alright, Arizona, you need to push."  
  
I've seen my wife in a lot of pain before. I've seen her injured, almost dead, sick in many different forms over the years. But nothing prepared me for the heart-wrenching feeling of seeing her like this. Even with the epidural, the strain on her body is clear, and half an hour later I feel like I'm completely useless as I hold her hand and brush her sweat-dampened hair back, coaxing her along in the most encouraging way I know how.  
  
"You've got to give me more, Arizona. We're almost there, she's crowning."  
  
"You can do this, sweetie," I lean in and press a kiss to her forehead as she clings desperately to my hand, "come on, push again. You can do this."  
  
And she does, several times over again, and as I watch her I feel like I've never seen such a display of sheer human determination. She is gorgeous, and she is stronger than I've ever seen her before. She is  _incredible_.  
  
And a moment later, after a final pained cry from the blonde, a soft, tiny mewl sounds in the sudden quiet of the room.  
  
"And here she is."  
  
My eyes widen as I watch the doctor hold up a tiny infant -- a tiny, softly wailing infant who has suddenly made an appearance into the world.  
  
"Callie?"   
  
The nurse offers me scissors with a smile, and I blink back my emotions, glancing down at the woman laying beside me. Arizona lays back, catching her breath, but she gives me a tired smile and lets go of my hand so I can move to the foot of the bed. With some guidance from the nurse -- because apparently in this moment I've forgotten every second of my medical training -- I cut the umbilical cord, and she clamps and secures it quickly and expertly and then the tiny, warm body is handed up to my wife and she cuddles her immediately against the bared skin of her chest.  
  
"Hi, baby."  
  
She murmurs softly, her exhaustion and pain momentarily forgotten, and my heart bursts with joy as I watch the love of my life with our new, precious little baby.  
  
"My sweet little girl."  
  
She smiles up at me then and she is radiant, and I move closer, leaning over the bed as I lightly brush a finger along our daughter's tiny arm.  
  
"Hi Audrey," I whisper in awe, a smile pulling at my lips, "you're finally here."  
  
She whimpers and lets off the sweetest little newborn sounds, and her face presses against Arizona's chest for a moment before she blinks, opening her eyes for the first time with a little wrinkle of her nose. She is  _beautiful_. She looks a lot like Arizona. Her hair is dark, but her eyes are bright blue as they look up towards us, and as I press a light kiss to her head I fall completely and irrevocably in love.   
  
Arizona nuzzles her head softly, letting out a beautiful, happy sigh, and when she tilts her head to look at me again I capture her lips in a kiss as well -- I don't think I've ever loved her more than in this moment.  
  
"I love you so much," I murmur, blinking back the tears gathering in my eyes, "you're amazing."  
  
The nurse appears by the head of the bed again, softly interrupting us as she smiles and motions to the baby.  
  
"We're just going to get her cleaned up here a bit. I'll just need you to let her rest against you."  
  
The blonde kisses our daughter's forehead again and leans back, dropping back onto the pillows in exhaustion as she shifts Audrey to lay along her abdomen, her head resting just between her breasts. The nurse carefully cleans and dries her off and Dr. Neale performs a few small checkups before she's tucked under a warm blanket and a little pink cap is placed on her head to help keep her warm. I stroke blonde hair softly as the doctor delivers the afterbirth and takes care of examining Arizona a final time, and before long we're alone again, the room falling into a comfortable silence with only soft, occasional sounds emanating from the little bundle in my wife's arms. She roots against her mother's chest for a few moments before finding what she's looking for, and she almost immediately latches on to nurse, which elicits a slightly surprised and awed sound from the blonde.  
  
"That feels..." she trails off, laughing softly, "that feels weird. But wonderful."  
  
Neither of us can take our eyes off her, and I sit gingerly on the edge of the bed, wrapping my arm around my wife's shoulders as I look on with unadulterated happiness. I just can't believe she's finally here. We have two children. I have  _Arizona's_  baby.  
  
"She's so beautiful, look at her," I lightly trace my fingertip along her hand and she reflexively opens and closes her fist, the tiniest fingers bumping against me, "she's perfect."  
  
"She is perfect," the smaller woman sighs happily, lightly brushing her fingers along the soft, pink beanie, "Audrey Rosa Torres. You are so, so loved."  
  
"So are you."  
  
I tilt her chin up slightly until she meets my eyes, and I hold her watery gaze for a moment before kissing her again, my heart filled with complete adoration for the woman in front of me.  
  
"I love you, Arizona."

 

  
*

 

  
Mother and daughter fall asleep before too long, both of them clearly exhausted, and I sit back in my chair by the bed with a yawn. It's nearing six in the morning, and I haven't really slept since six the morning before, but I just can't take my eyes off the beautiful image in front of me -- I can't stop myself from watching over them. I consider stepping out to call my dad, and her parents, and I know I should get in touch with Amelia at home, too, but I remain glued to the chair, a smile permanently etched across my face.  
  
The door opens quietly a few minutes later, and I look up to see Alex peeking around the corner.  
  
"Hey," I speak softly, "come on in. They're sleeping."  
  
He clicks the door shut behind him and carefully, quietly makes his way around the bed to peer down at the sleeping baby. Her soft, dark hair peeks out a bit from under her hat, and her little hand is resting against Arizona's chest, fingers moving slightly in her sleep as she breaths softly and steadily.  
  
"I ran into Neale and she told me you guys were doing good," he whispers, smiling as he looks her over, "man, she looks like Robbins."  
  
"I know," I smile a little again, peering over at them, "she really does already"  
  
"You get any rest yet?"  
  
He leans back and looks over at me questioningly, and I just shrug a little in response, raising my hand to stifle another yawn.  
  
"She did all the hard work."  
  
"Get some sleep, Callie, they're not going anywhere. I'm on my way out, I'll call Amelia in an hour or two and she can bring Sofia over."  
  
I realize that he's right -- I do need to get a little bit of sleep, and I may as well try and do it while Arizona and Audrey are resting too. There are going to be a lot of sleepless nights coming up in the next six months.  
  
"Thanks, Alex...I appreciate it. I'll tell her you stopped by."  
  
He peeks down at his new godchild again and smiles, a look uncharacteristically tender crossing his face, and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he backs toward the door.  
  
"I'll see you later."

 

  
*

 

  
When I wake up later with a small yawn, I sit up in the chair a bit and see two pairs of blue eyes looking my way. A smile immediately stretches across my face, and I lean forward to catch a tiny hand between my fingers, marveling at the soft, warm newborn skin.  
  
"Well hi there, you two. How long have you been awake?"  
  
"Only ten minutes or so. I didn't want to wake you."  
  
Audrey lets out a big, baby yawn, and Arizona grins a little, adjusting her pink hat.  
  
"Want to hold her? I think she's looking for a little mommy time."  
  
"Do I ever."  
  
I stand up, carefully taking the infant from her arms, and snuggle her close against my chest, sighing softly. She's so tiny -- just a smidge over seven pounds -- but she's alert and seems perfectly happy, gazing up at me with big, beautiful eyes that I already know I'm going to be helpless to resist.   
  
"I'm your mommy, Audrey. The other one. I've been waiting nine whole months to hold you, did you know that?"  
  
She makes some faint baby noises in response, her eyes seeming to slowly look me over, and yawns again sleepily as she turns her face into my chest.  
  
"I have boobs too, that's right. I don't have food for you, but they're pretty comfy," I watch her, smiling, "or at least your mama thinks so, anyway."  
  
The blonde laughs softly from her bed, watching us with a smile on her face.  
  
"It's true."  
  
"Your mama and I tried really hard to have you, " I murmur softly to the infant, leaning in to nuzzle her cheek, "but it all worked out so perfectly because look at you, little girl. You're just the sweetest little baby we could ever ask for."  
  
I trace my finger along her cheek and she blinks up at me again, like she's actually listening.  
  
"I hope her eyes stay this colour."  
  
They're exactly like Arizona's. And the chances were pretty slim, using a Latino donor, but somehow those Robbins genes seem to have won out. The Colonel will be proud.  
  
"I think they likely will -- it was a pretty rare chance she'd have blue eyes, even as a newborn."  
  
I look up at my wife, and then down at my new daughter again, making a kissy face at her.   
  
"I think someone's going to have mommy wrapped around their little finger, aren't they."  
  
The door to the hospital room opens after a few minutes, and Amelia appears in the doorway with Sofia holding onto her hand. The little girl looks shy, but a grin immediately spreads across Amelia's face. She looks absolutely delighted as she crosses the room and peers down at the baby in my arms, making a silly face at her.  
  
"Well, looks like congratulations are in order! What a little beauty."  
  
Audrey seems unimpressed, her eyes blinking up at the newcomer as she wiggles her fingers, and I just laugh softly as I watch her.  
  
"We know where she gets that from."  
  
Sofia is still standing a bit away, nearer to the door, and I glance up to see Arizona holding out her hand, beckoning the girl to come closer. She does, a little cautiously, and after exchanging a few soft words with her momma that I can't quite make out, Arizona shifts just enough so the five-year-old can climb onto the bed, sitting beside her.  
  
I smile at the two of them, bringing Audrey over closer, and I can see the curiosity on the little girl's face as she peers up at us.  
  
"Sofia, there's someone who'd like to meet you. This is your baby sister, Audrey."  
  
I carefully hand the infant back to my wife, and she holds her so Sofia can see her more closely. Audrey yawns a bit again, eyes blinking open to see her sister, and I watch as a smile spreads across the young brunette's face.  
  
"She's really small."  
  
"You were this small too, a long time ago," Arizona smiles, shifting the baby a bit against her chest so she can wrap her other arm around Sofia, "look, she's watching you. She knows you're her big sister, because of all the times you talked to her in my belly."  
  
Sofia peers at her for a few minutes, giggling as she yawns again and makes some gurgly little noises. She looks happy about our new addition, and I let out a soft sigh of relief -- our worries about how she would take all of this were unfounded after all.  
  
She spends a few minutes chatting to her sister and she kneels up on the bed, carefully leaning over Arizona to inspect her closely. She strokes her wispy dark hair with the gentlest of touches, and curling her hands around Audrey's head she leans in to press a soft kiss to her temple.  
  
"I love her."  
  
Arizona meets my eyes over the young girl's head and I'm sure the adoration in her gaze is mirrored in my own, my heart absolutely melting at the scene in front of us. I think quickly, silently sliding my phone from my jeans to snap a picture as she leans in to kiss her sister again, and the blonde just grins at me, knowing that as I quickly tap a few buttons I'm sending her the photo as well. Something tells me that will be a wallpaper on both our phones for the next while.  
  
Amelia lightly strokes Audrey's cheek, looking on with adoration for her new god-daughter, and she leans in to drop a friendly kiss on Arizona's cheek as well.  
  
"I'll let you guys have some family time. I'll stop by again later though. Call if you need anything, okay?"  
  
"We will. Thanks, Amy."  
  
The neurosurgeon quietly takes her leave, and I watch as Sofia and Arizona catch up a bit, chatting softly while they watch Audrey stretch and wrinkle her nose, burrowing her face against her mother's skin.  
  
"Hey, Sof," I grin as she watches her sister intently, "do you want to hold her?"

 

  
*

 

  
**_Four weeks later_ **

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
A soft whimpering wakes me from my sleep, and I roll over, sitting up a bit to look towards the basinette a few feet from the bed. She's quiet for a few minutes, but then starts fussing again, a small cry erupting into the silence of the room.   
  
"Mm...baby..."  
  
Callie rolls over, blinking sleepily as she starts to sit up, but I just smile and press a palm to her cheek, urging her down again.  
  
"Shh, I've got her."  
  
Before Audrey can wake the entire family, I quietly sit up and slip my prosthesis on, taking the few short steps over to where she sleeps and scooping her into my arms. She lets out another whimpery cry, squirming against me, and knowing exactly what she's looking for I slip my tank top down and watch as she immediately latches on to my breast, perfectly content.  
  
I wander out of our room and across the hall to the nursery, to make sure I don't wake Callie, and turning on the lamp I settle down in the rocking chair by the window. Audrey looks up at me then as she continues nursing, blue eyes searching my face, and I can't help but smile as she meets my gaze. I'm sleep deprived, I'm mentally and physically exhausted, and I haven't had a moment to myself in a month -- but I find that I am somehow just...exquisitely happy.  
  
We sit in silence until she pulls away, happily nuzzling against me with her full little belly, and I shift her up in my arms so her head can rest in the crook of my neck. She lets out a faint sigh against me as I rub her back and I start rocking slowly, humming a little as she settles in.  
  
"All better now?" I murmur, pressing my lips to her head, "time to go back to sleep?"  
  
I wait a moment, as if expecting a response, but continue talking as I look around the room. We decorated the nursery in dusty purple and pink and grey; some of the furniture and other items inherited from Sofia, and some bought new. There's a photo of the four of us sitting on the dresser, taken just days after Audrey came home, and it's become one of my favourite family portraits ever since Amelia sent it to me.  
  
She'd snapped the photo without our knowing, when she stopped by to bring some gifts from the hospital staff and takeout for supper during that first week, and she captured a moment so perfect it brings a smile to my face just looking at it. In it I'm sitting on the couch, holding Audrey, and Sofia is beside me, kneeling up and gently touching her sister's onesie-clad foot with a huge smile on her face. Callie had come up behind me, leaning over to wrap her arms around my shoulders, and her head rests just beside mine, also gazing down at the tiny infant. It just radiates love and happiness and...family, and to me, it's  _beautiful._  
  
"You have the best big sister in the whole world, did you know that, Audrey?"  
  
I whisper softly, smiling as she looks up at my voice.  
  
"You're going to have so much fun growing up with her. She's just amazing, and she loves you so much already. We all love you -- me and mommy, we love the two of you more than  _anything_ ," I pause slightly, "I'd do anything for you, sweet girl, and I will always, always be here for you. You and your sister and your mommy...you're everything I always wanted."  
  
She blinks slowly, yawning a little as she nuzzles against my neck, and I run my fingers over her downy, chestnut brown hair.  
  
"We got a little lost for awhile...your sister might remember it, but you'll never have to...and a lot of bad things happened, but I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you," I press my cheek to the top of her head and sigh, inhaling her soft, baby scent, "but after all the bad things, it was so clear to me, Audrey. I think it was finally clear to both of us how much we belonged together. I don't need much, but I need her, and your sister, and you. You're my family."  
  
A baby gurgle comes out muffled against my skin, and I laugh softly, rubbing her back again.  
  
"You make me so happy. I love you, baby girl."  
  
There's a slight rustle in the silence of the room, and I glance up to see my wife leaning in the doorway, a touched look on her face as she just quietly watches us. I don't know how long she's been there, but her presence immediately brings another smile to my face and I motion her closer.  
  
"I love you too, Calliope."  
  
I tilt my face up and she meets me for a kiss, her soft lips lingering against mine for a long moment. Her hand smooths along our daughter's back and she drops a light kiss on her forehead as well, and in that moment, no other words are needed. Within the four walls of this house, the loves of my life surround me. My heart is happy, and I know Calliope's is as well. Finally, truly, we've found happiness in each other.  
  
Because everything we want...is right here.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are -- the end. I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint. This story has become very near and dear to my heart, and I sincerely thank everyone who has been reading along with me. From something I thought would only be a one-shot, well...it's come a long way!

**_Four years later._ **

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
"Audrey, stop it! Those are mine! Momma!"  
  
Glancing over from the kitchen island, I watch as Sofia yanks a purple pencil crayon back from her younger sister and shoots her an angry look. The small brunette certainly inherited a fiery temper from...well, both of us...and although I know it never lasts more than a few minutes, I sigh softly as our younger daughter reaches for the drawing implements again with a determined face.  
  
"Sofi I wanna colour too!"  
  
"Sweetie, please share with your sister."  
  
"She always presses too hard and breaks the point!"  
  
"Audrey, be gentle, okay?"  
  
I turn and raise my eyebrow slightly at our youngest and she just looks up with big, blue eyes, her waves of chestnut hair framing her face into the perfect picture of innocence. I know those eyes make my wife cave in almost every time, but I'm immune to the Robbins look...mostly, at least.  
  
"I won't break it."  
  
Grabbing the pencil crayon in question with a self-satisfied look, she settles back in her chair and contemplates whatever she was busy drawing. At four years old, Audrey is exactly how her sister was at that age -- feisty, verbose, and intelligent far beyond her years. We're lucky, and the two of them get along about 90% of the time, but sometimes their two personalities are just a little too alike and it implodes right before our eyes.  
  
They're still the most amazing thing I've ever done though, there's no question about that.  
  
The kitchen settles into a relative silence again as both girls colour, and I slip dinner into the oven and look over, just watching them for a moment. I perform unbelievable, life-saving surgery every day -- perform surgery in miniature on children who aren't even born yet -- but this? making dinner and settling arguments about pencil crayons and helping with grade four homework...this makes me happier than I could have ever imagined. A decade ago I wasn't even sure I _wanted_ children, but now there's a nine-year-old and a four-year-old who hold my heart in the most beautiful way possible.  
  
I hear the front door open and close, and the sounds of my wife arriving home bring another smile to my face.  
  
"HI MOMMY!"  
  
I laugh softly as Audrey yells out a greeting at the sound, and Sofia follows suit, and a minute later the older brunette appears around the corner into the kitchen, a wide grin on her face.  
  
"Hi, mijas."  
  
She circles around the table and drops a kiss on each small head, looking down at the works of art coming to completion in front of them.   
  
"I like your..."   
  
She trails off a bit, studying Sofia's drawing, but the girl pipes up with a slightly exasperated tone.  
  
"It's a _brain_ , mom. Like the brain inside your head, like Aunt Amy cuts open at work. See? Here's the stem bit and this is the noodly bit. This is the frontal...um. The lobe!"  
  
Tilting her head slightly, she studies the picture and glances over at me. I just shrug, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world -- what normal nine-year-old _doesn't_ draw anatomically correct brains? Callie just grins and makes her way over, a warm palm cupping my neck as she leans in to kiss me in greeting.  
  
"Mm, and hi to you too."  
  
My hand automatically comes up to curl around her waist and I sigh happily, tugging my wife a fraction closer. Our life is amazing in so many ways; our relationship, our kids, everything I could possibly want I've found with her. We've been married for five years now -- three longer than our first time around -- and yet every single night, I still look forward to the little things like watching her with the girls and getting a kiss hello. I look forward to her coming home, or coming home _to_ her. We've built a home and a family, and although things might not be perfect, they seem pretty damn close to me.   
  
You always hear people talk about the magic wearing off, but all I can see is magic growing stronger. Family growing stronger, and two people growing stronger and more in love with every passing day.  
  
And there is absolutely nowhere else in the world I'd rather be. 

 

  
\----

 

  
**_Five years after that._**

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
"Hey there, superstar."  
  
Callie laughs as I sidle up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, gazing at her reflection in the floor-length mirror. She looks incredible tonight -- every night, really, but tonight she's dressed in a long, dark blue, satin dress, her hair pinned loosely at the nape of her neck with a simple pearl necklace as her only accessory. Tonight, she looks like a star. Like a Harper Avery winner.  
  
"I honestly never expected this."  
  
She meets my eyes in the mirror, a mix of pride and excitement and nervousness flitting across her gaze.   
  
"I did. I knew as soon as you were nominated that you were going to win. Your work over the last few years has been _incredible_ , Calliope."  
  
"It's still because of you, you know that, right?"  
  
She turns to face me and I loosen my arms a little, letting my hands rest lightly over the silky fabric covering her hips.   
  
"Maybe it was inspired by me, but I'm not taking any credit here," I laugh softly, reaching up to trail my fingers along her jaw, "all I did was lose a leg. The rest was you and that brilliant mind of yours."  
  
She grins then, leaning in to capture my lips under hers, and even though I want to be mindful of her carefully applied makeup I can't bring myself to pull back even a fraction of an inch. She kisses me for several long moments, her long fingers sliding up and into the loose waves of my hair, before finally sighing contently and trailing her fingers down my back.   
  
"Are the girls ready to go?"  
  
"We're ready!"  
  
I glance over my shoulder as a young voice pipes up from the doorway to the adjoining room of our hotel suite, and see our nine-year-old daughter grinning at us with a look that reminds me all too much of my wife. She may have my physical features, but so much of her personality is exactly like her other mom, especially the older she gets.  
  
"Where's your sister?"  
  
The older girl appears behind her a moment later, looking very grown up in her new dress and low heels. I'd loaned her a simple necklace of mine, and the dusting of makeup she'd recently taken to wearing only served to enhance her youthful beauty.  
  
"I'm here, I'm ready. I just didn't want to watch you guys make out like _someone_ here."  
  
"Kissing means they love each other!"  
  
"Yeah but I don't want to see it!"  
  
Callie laughs -- a rich, throaty sound that still gives me a tingly feeling in my belly -- and picks up her clutch from the small side table by the bed. She smooths her dress down a little and I motion to the girls, grabbing the key card and ushering them out of the hotel room so we can head to the awards ceremony downstairs. They head down the hall together, and the older brunette slides her hand into mine as we follow, leaning in close to my ear.  
  
"I guess we officially still love each other, huh?"

  
*

  
"....and for groundbreaking contributions to the field of bionic medicine, this year's Harper Avery winner -- Dr. Callie Torres."  
  
There's a wild round of applause around the room, most notably from our table where Alex and Jo, and Amelia and Elise have all made the trip to see Callie accept her award. The brunette makes her way to the podium with a slightly nervous look in her eyes, but she soon finds me in the crowd and delivers her thank you with grace and poise, pride evident in the way she speaks about her work.  
  
"So how does it feel to be the wife of a Harper Avery-winning surgeon?"  
  
Amelia leans in as applause sweeps the room again, and I can't help but smile as my eyes remain fixed on the woman slowly making her way back to the table, people stopping her for congratulations every few steps.  
  
"It feels just as amazing as it has for the last ten years."  
  
"You know there's already rumours that you're on the preliminary list for next year. Ten bucks says we're all back in this room again next spring."  
  
Callie returns to the table, easing back into her seat beside me and setting the prestigious award in front of us with a smile, and I can barely even hear the words the neurosurgeon is saying. I don't need an award -- all I need is right here. As long as Callie's by my side, I'm the biggest winner of them all.

 

  
\----

 

  
**_Four years after that._**

  
**_Callie_ **

  
"I'm not ready for this."  
  
Arizona turns to look at me over her shoulder, and before she even asks I cross the bedroom and carefully slide the zipper up on the back of her dress. Sofia is graduating from high school tonight -- _high school_ \-- and my emotions are getting the better of me before we've even arrived at the ceremony.  
  
"I know, I can hardly believe it."  
  
The blonde turns with a small smile, sliding her hands over my shoulders and along the sides of my neck in a comforting gesture.  
  
"Our baby is all grown up."  
  
"God," I let out a sigh, pulling away and going back to the mirror to check my hair, "doesn't it seem like just yesterday we were going to her little dance recitals and...and tying her shoes for her? How did this happen?"

  
*

  
"Mom, it's going to be okay."  
  
Our eldest daughter hugs me tight when she meets us after the graduation ceremony, and my face is clearly tear-stained and a wadded up tissue is still clenched in my hand. It's official now. She's eighteen, she's a high school graduate -- there's no turning back the clock.  
  
"I'm not even leaving until August, we have lots of time."  
  
"I know, I know."  
  
I squeeze her extra tight before letting go, a small smile tugging at my lips as I look over her face again. She's grown into such a wonderful young woman -- she's beautiful, thoughtful, smart...unfortunately for us all she inherited Arizona's sense of humour, but that just endears her even more. And now she's going off to Johns Hopkins to become the next doctor in the family.  
  
She tilts her head just slightly, her happiness barely contained as she beams at me, and the expression is simultaneously so little girl and so grownup that it makes a striking comparison.  
  
"We're so proud of you, Sof."  
  
"We really are."   
  
Arizona is suddenly by my side again with Audrey, and I watch as the blonde pulls our older daughter into a fierce embrace. She definitely cried during the ceremony, watching Sofia walk across the stage, but she's managed to contain her tears and now nothing but absolute pride radiates from her eyes. The two of them have had a special bond ever since she was a toddler, and they're both so alike that sometimes looking at and listening to the young brunette is like having a spitting image of Arizona in front of me.   
  
I watch as my wife pulls back and reaches up to tuck a stray bit of hair behind Sofia's ear, her fingers lingering slightly along her cheek.  
  
"Your dad would be so proud of you, too, sweetie."  
  
"Yeah, I know," the young girl smiles and looks down at the diploma in her hands for a moment, then directs her eyes toward her younger sister, breaking out into a grin, "and what about you, little A?"  
  
Audrey rolls her eyes slightly at the affectionate nickname, but grabs her older sister in a hug and holds on for a long minute. It's hard enough to believe Sofia is going off to university, but our youngest is quickly becoming a teenager as well and that's another fact I just can't reconcile in my mind. She'll be thirteen in six weeks, and with her mother's blue eyes and dimples and her long, dark chestnut hair, I just know she's going to have the attention of every boy -- and girl -- in a twenty foot radius.   
  
"I guess I'm proud of you too. Nerd."  
  
"Oh yeah, look who's talking Miss I-read-Shakespeare-for-fun."  
  
The younger girl swats at her sister and mutters something in reply, and the two dissolve into giggles and another warm hug, the friendship and the bond they share clearly evident. Neither have talked about it -- or at least not to Arizona and I -- but I know they're going to miss each other like crazy come fall.  
  
Sofia spots her best friend across the room and waves, and she takes off toward her, slinging her arm around her sister's shoulders as the two continue to chat. I look at my wife and she just takes my hand, our fingers linking together with ease after twenty years of practice. We follow the girls slowly toward the doors at the front of the school, and I can't help but sigh, glancing sideways.  
  
"I think...I'm starting to feel old."  
  
"Don't."  
  
The blonde replies softly, blue eyes smiling up at me, and she squeezes my hand as she looks forward to watch the girls.  
  
"Calliope, there's still so much to look forward to."

 

  
\----

 

  
**_Three years after that._**

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
"What's all this?"  
  
Callie and I have just gotten home from the hospital, and the kitchen table is set with four places, and candles, and the smells of a delicious homemade meal are wafting toward us. Christmas is in a week and the girls are both on winter break -- Sofia just flew home last night -- but I assumed they'd both have plans with friends on their first free Friday evening.  
  
"This," Sofia announces, pulling a pan from the oven, "is chicken piccata. And that," she sets the pan on a wooden board and motions with an oven-mitted hand, "is a plate of double fudge brownies."  
  
Our youngest daughter swoops around the island, bottle of wine in hand like some kind of sommelier, and carefully fills three of the glasses at the table...and a fourth when she thinks we're not looking.  
  
"Dinner is served!"  
  
"Audrey -- you're not supposed to say that until I _actually_ bring food to the table."  
  
"Well you took it out of the oven, it's _ready._ "  
  
"But it's not _served_. Get it right."  
  
I just look at Callie and laugh, taking in the scene before us.  
  
"You guys didn't have to do all this."  
  
"It does smell amazing though," Callie sniffs the air and wanders over to the island, trying to peek at the dish, "I knew I taught you well."  
  
"Hey! Hands off. You two just make yourselves comfortable over there."  
  
She gives us a mock stern look, and I nod seriously, pulling out a chair and taking my place at the table. Callie follows suit, and the girls busy themselves over in the kitchen for a few minutes getting everything served up.   
  
"We just felt like doing something nice, and having family dinner," Sofia sets plates down in front of us, dropping a kiss on each of our cheeks in passing, "and I missed you."  
  
"How's school? Are you ready for your MCAT in February?"  
  
The girls settle in at the table, and our budding doctor's eyes light up with excitement at the mention of the big test.   
  
"I'm so ready. Your flash cards are amazing, mom. I mean I'm nervous about it, but I'm feeling really confident and I've still got two months to study."  
  
"When you're not busy kissing Annnndrew."  
  
The older girl's eyes widen perceptibly, and I raise a curious eyebrow, slowly spearing a bite of chicken on my plate.  
  
"And who's Andrew?"  
  
"He's nobody," she shoots her sister a dirty look, but Audrey just smirks a little into her glass, "he's a friend. A little more than a friend. But it's nothing serious."  
  
I glance at Callie and she gives me a knowing look, a smile creeping onto her face. There hadn't really been many boyfriends yet in Sofia's life -- she'd always just been focused on her studies.  
  
"That's what they all say."  
  
"Well Audrey's been kissing someone too, _so._ "  
  
"Sof!"  
  
The sixteen-year-old's cheeks immediately heat up with a slight blush, and she throws a bread roll that her sister catches without batting an eye.  
  
"Wait," I glance over at the younger girl, "you're sixteen! Who are you kissing?!"  
  
"No one!"  
  
"Audrey and Emmmma siiiitting in a tree..."  
  
Sofia grins mischievously at her sister and bursts out laughing as the younger girl's blush deepens and she swats at her shoulder in protest. My eyes widen slightly at the revelation -- and I make a note to make sure bedroom doors stay _open_ from now on when Emma's here -- but I can't help the soft chuckle that escapes me as I watch the two of them rib each other. Callie's laughing right beside me, and she slides her palm over my thigh, squeezing lightly until I take her hand and twine my fingers softly with hers.  
  
I meet her eyes over the laughter and banter still ringing out in the kitchen, and I can see exactly what she's thinking. We missed this.   
  
Because this -- the chatter, and the teasing, and the family dinners around our well-loved table -- this is home. 

 

  
\----

 

  
**_One year after that._**

  
**_Callie_ **

  
  
_-Just tell them. Honest, they're not going to be upset.  
  
-Everyone in our family is a doctor.  
  
-Not everyone.  
  
-Basically everyone!  
  
-Just TELL THEM._   
  


  
*

  
I glance over to where Audrey is curled up on the couch, propped against the arm tapping away at her phone with a worried look on her face. She's been in a weird mood the last couple of days, and unlike her usual bubbly self, and I know something is bothering her. She's good at compartmentalizing emotions -- just like Arizona -- but her eyes tell it all. And eventually she always bursts.  
  
"Everything okay, honey?"  
  
"Hm?" she glances up, just barely, and bites her lip a little as she looks at her phone again, "yeah...I..."  
  
She trails off a bit, and I see Arizona look up from her book. She's sitting on the other end of the couch from our daughter, and the young brunette lets out a sigh as she stretches one leg out, her toes burrowing under the edge of her mother's thigh.  
  
"I have to tell you something."  
  
She sounds nervous, and I frown a little, hitting mute on the remote for the television.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine...I'm..it's nothing bad," she pauses for a second, a slightly cheeky grin briefly crossing her face, "I mean, at least you know I'm not gonna say I'm pregnant, right?"  
  
Arizona lets her hand drop to the ankle beside her, and she gives her a smile, rubbing softly in encouragement.  
  
"I got into University of Carolina. And Northwestern."  
  
My eyes immediately light up -- those were the two pre-med programs she'd applied for, and not only that, they were two of the most prestigious in the country. She'd always been bright, just like her sister, and I knew she'd be bound for great things after high school no matter what she wanted to do.  
  
"That's great news!"  
  
"I don't want to be a doctor."  
  
She rushes her next words out, biting her lip as she glances between Arizona and I. There's a silent pause for the briefest of moments, and our daughter looks like she's ready to run out of the room. Is this what she was so worried about telling us?  
  
"Okay, well, have you heard about the other schools? What about NYU?"  
  
She'd applied for two other schools this past fall as well, both of them in combinations of journalism and arts programs. Audrey always had way more creative and artistic talent than the rest of the family, so it hadn't come as a great surprise to either of us that she wasn't single-mindedly focused on science like Sofia. She'd taken music lessons growing up, had played in a garage band with some friends, and she was responsible for most of our family photos and a lot of the pictures hanging around the house. She was _good_ at math and science, but I think we both knew that wasn't really where her heart was.  
  
"I think I saw an envelope from NYU the other day in the mail."  
  
Arizona speaks and looks expectantly toward her, and Audrey just blinks a little in surprise.  
  
"I...yeah, I got in there too," her face brightens a little, a sudden grin lighting up her eyes, "I got into Tisch actually, the photography and imaging program. They liked my portfolio."  
  
A matching grin immediately graces Arizona's face, and I feel my own lips pull into a smile. I'd done some research on those programs when she was sending in her applications months ago, and they were almost as exclusive as pre-med in the arts world.   
  
"Sweetie! That's amazing!"  
  
"You guys aren't disappointed?!"  
  
"Why would we be disappointed? Are you happy?"  
  
She looks between the two of us again, and her answer is evident on her face before she even speaks.  
  
"I want this so bad. And Aunt Amelia and Aunt Elise already said they'd sell me their car after grad and there's some _awesome_ looking apartments right by the school and I mean it's only like a three hour drive from Sofia and--"  
  
Arizona grins at me, and I can't help but beam with pride at the happiness and the accomplishments of our youngest daughter -- even if I'm having a hard time believing she's all grown up already. We couldn't have asked for two better children in our lives.  
  
"If you're happy, we're happy. And you're going to be _awesome._ "

 

  
\----

 

  
**_And two years after that._ **

  
**_Arizona_ **

  
Twenty years.   
  
It's been twenty years today since Calliope and I got married, and I have honestly never been happier than I am at this moment. We've had ups and downs, sure -- but contrary to thinking that makes our marriage less than perfect, I actually think it makes us...more perfect. We learned that every disagreement isn't the end of the world. We learned that, at the end of the day, being with the person we love is really more important than anything else. We learned how to raise two children together, and how to have a truly happy family.  
  
Twenty years, and not a morning goes by that I don't marvel at waking up to this amazing woman beside me.  
  
"Mm, morning already?"  
  
Callie mumbles sleepily, her eyelids fluttering open, and I still my fingers that had been running lightly through her hair.   
  
"It is," I whisper in reply, smiling softly, "good morning."  
  
Dark eyes blink open at me then, and a smile meets my own.   
  
"Morning."  
  
Her eyes flicker upwards and focus on the small white box laying on the pillow between us.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Happy anniversary, Calliope."  
  
Letting out a content sigh, the brunette reaches a hand up to trace the elegant red bow before she lifts the cover off the box and peers inside. Nestled beside each other on the velvet interior rest two heart pendants, yellow and white gold -- and her eyes flicker over them in confusion before she looks up to me and instinctively slides a hand to her throat, feeling for the missing chain.  
  
I'd planned it carefully -- and it hadn't been easy. Neither one of us ever took those pendants off, save for the occasional time we wore something else instead. I'd taken her out for an early anniversary dinner the night before last, and we'd dressed up and I'd casually suggested she wear another necklace of hers -- the pearls I'd gotten her when she won her Harper Avery. I'd stolen the heart necklace away then just before we left the house, and in the morning rush to get to an early surgery...miraculously she had not even noticed.  
  
"How did you...what.."  
  
"Just look at them."  
  
Curiosity evident in her eyes now, she picks up her silver coloured heart and runs her thumb over it, turning it over in the morning light until she sees it -- along the bottom on the back of the heart, I'd had a simple word engraved. A word that encompassed my love for her from day one -- our love for each other.  
  
 _Always._  
  
Picking up my gold coloured heart, she turns it over to read an identical engraving, and the smile on her face grows even wider.  
  
"Arizona, I'm so in love with you."  
  
She leans up just enough to pull the chain around her neck and clasp it, and then she picks up mine, shifting closer to slip it back on as well. Her warm fingers trail along my neck, following the cool metal down to its resting place, and I tilt her chin towards me, leaning in for a kiss.  
  
"I know you are. Because I'm more in love with you every day."  
  
And I am. With her, with us, with our family. With who we were...and who we've become.  
  
It's everything, all at once.  
  
And it is beautiful.

 

  
_/fin_


	40. Epilogue

**_Sofia_ **

  
"Wait, so your mom is Callie Torres? _The_ Dr. Callie Torres, Harper Avery winner and leading name in bionic medicine?"  
  
I slide my lunch tray onto the table and drop into a seat unceremoniously. It's certainly not the first time I've been asked _that_ question, especially given that I went to my other mom's alma mater for undergrad and med school, and her reputation and that of her wife clearly proceeded her. I thought I'd have at least more than a week before my brand new colleagues figured it out, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised since I'm in the very hospital where my parents still work, and gossip travels through this place like wildfire.   
  
"Yep, that's the one."  
  
The girl sitting across from me - Rachel, I think her name is - leans in with an equally enamoured look on her face.   
  
"That means Dr. Arizona Robbins-Torres is also your mom, right? Oh wow, I would _love_ to meet her. I'm really interested in fetal surgery -- and she practically pioneered some of the latest methods. You know, she has a Harper Avery too," she points her fork across the table, "A girl I know got to work with her once and said she was incredible."  
  
"Holy shit. I want to meet Dr. Torres. I read a bunch of her research last year and I totally want to get into bionics -- " the guy on my left pipes up again, sounding totally awed, "can you introduce me sometime?"  
  
Laughing, I just pick up my pathetic looking sandwich from the tray. I remember these sandwiches from childhood -- some things never change.  
  
"Sure. I'm sure she wouldn't mind showing you around the bionics lab."  
  
I swear his eyes almost bug out of his head. He's cute - even if I can't remember his name yet.  
  
"What about Dr. Robbins-Torres?" Rachel sips her coffee, glancing over hopefully again, "I saw her name on the board the other day, but I haven't noticed her around."  
  
"Oh yeah, definitely. She's super big on teaching, so she'll probably give you a full on lecture about whatever you ask her. I mean...you guys will end up on their rotations eventually anyway, you know. But I can introduce you beforehand."  
  
"I can't believe those are your parents. You were raised by two of the most brilliant doctors of the last generation. I mean...they're practically _legendary_. That must be so cool."  
  
"Yeah, they're alright, " I swallow and shoot them a grin, and like so many identical situations throughout med school, it's suddenly very much time to change the subject, "so anyways - what do you guys think of our resident so far?"  
  
The girl at the end of the table -- who's been fairly quiet up until now -- makes a comment that sets the whole table off laughing, and the conversation easily switches to our slightly terrifying resident doctor and the hoops she's been making us jump through for the last couple of days. I like these people so far, and I'm glad for it. And I'm glad to be back in Seattle, even though I kind of protested the idea when my moms wanted me to apply for residency here. I know I'm lucky to have gotten in -- it's one of the top-ranked teaching hospitals in the country -- and I'm happy with the knowledge that neither of them had anything to do with it, because that's not the kind of parents they are, or the kind of professionals.  
  
I laugh loudly at something Rachel says beside me, and catch a glimpse of dark hair and a familiar silhouette out of the corner of my eye. When I turn to look, I see mom watching me for a moment from across the cafeteria, but she just smiles proudly before giving me a quick wink and heading to join some of her own friends. They both promised not to intrude on my life as an intern, and not to treat me any differently than any of the others in the program, and they've been sticking to their word. I'm grateful for it, and I respect them even more for it. If they taught me and my sister anything over the years, it was how to work for what we want. Audrey had always been a bit of the wild child -- she's creative and adventurous, and although she'd been accepted into pre-med, very much having inherited our mothers' intelligence, she'd chosen to take a path entirely her own.  
  
But I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I want to be exactly like them.

 

  
*

 

  
**_Audrey_ **

  
"What? Momma, what? Hold on, I can't hear you."  
  
I grab my jacket -- mom's old leather one that she reluctantly let me steal -- and shrug it on, taking my camera bag with me and heading across the small club and outside to the sidewalk. The band inside is warming up for a quick rehearsal before they play tonight, and I was taking the opportunity to get a few shots in. But between the sound checks and the drummer beating away, I couldn't hear a word my mother was trying to say in there.  
  
"Okay, sorry. I'm outside now -- what were you saying?"  
  
"I was just asking if you're still planning on coming home this weekend for mom's birthday. You never replied to my email the other day."  
  
"Shit, sorry -- yeah of course I'm coming! Last week was nuts, with the apartment hunting and getting all my school papers sorted out -- we found a great place, by the way. Wait til you see it. I might stay for a few weeks though, if that's okay? Our lease doesn't start til the first of next month."  
  
I'd just traveled across country a week previously, having finished my undergrad in New York, to move to Berkeley, California where I'd be starting the graduate program in photojournalism come fall. It had been a whirlwind of a week, but it felt good to be back on the west coast, back a little closer to my family. As much as I'd been reluctant to admit it, I'd missed my parents a lot when I was away at school.  
  
"Of course that's alright! We'd love to have you home, honey. Sofia actually has next Saturday off too."  
  
"I know -- I talked to her yesterday. I can't wait to see everyone!"  
  
My older sister and I have always been close, despite having a five year gap between us, and even though she's insanely busy now as a surgical intern we still talk or text almost every day. We made plans weeks ago to get together and catch up without the moms.  
  
"So are you bringing your girlfriend?"  
  
"Ma--" I groan a little, leaning back on the outside brick wall, "Jess isn't my girlfriend, she's just my friend. Well, and my...uh, new roommate. Cohabitator, if you will. _Partner in crime_."  
  
Okay, momma might be right, actually. Jessica kind of _is_ my girlfriend -- and I know they both know it -- but I am so not ready for my moms to start gushing about weddings and marriage and god knows what else. They've always been very supportive of my sister and I's ambitions and career goals, and they want us to be independent, but I know them -- mom especially -- and that woman wants grand-kids like nobody's business. But I mean, come on, I'm twenty-one years old. I'm not anywhere _near_ ready for commitment like that.  
  
"Mmhm," the older woman just hums in response on the other end of the phone, "well, your _friend_ Jess is welcome to come if she'd like."  
  
"She probably will...for a few days, anyway, before she heads to Vancouver to see her parents."  
  
"Make sure you bring your portfolio from your grad exhibit. Gram and gramps will be here, and they really want to see it."  
  
I smile a little at the tone of her voice -- pride evident as she mentions my big photography exhibit that the university had chosen to display this past spring. Both of my parents had always been a little in awe of my artistic talents, given that the rest of the family had more of the science brains, and they'd come all the way out to New York to see the exhibit in April. My abuelo had come too, and even Sofia had managed to visit on a few free days from med school, but gram and gramps hadn't been up to the trip.  
  
"I will, definitely. I should probably get going though -- these guys are actually paying me for photos tonight, so I better take some."  
  
She laughs softly, and I grin into the phone at the sound. I can't wait to visit home and see them all. I really have the best family a girl could ask for.  
  
"I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I love you. Tell mom I say hi."  
  
"I will. We love you too, sweetie."  
  
"I know."

 

  
*

 

  
**_Callie_ **

  
I watch the blonde as her eyes land on the envelope propped up on the table. It's a plain envelope, with only her name on front, and the vase behind it is filled with a bouquet of her favourite purple irises. You'd think after all these years, I wouldn't be so nervous about a gift I'd bought for my wife, but I can feel a faint flutter of butterflies in my stomach as she turns to eye me curiously.  
  
"What's the occasion?"  
  
She picks it up, smiling as she lightly fingers the flowers and leans in to sniff at them.   
  
"Just..." I shrug a little, biting my lip, "um, Wednesday?"  
  
Her laugh rings out into the living room and she slides the envelope open, pulling out the cardboard folder inside. When she turns it over and sees the plane tickets, her eyes immediately widen and I can't help but grin at the look of utter surprise on her face.  
  
"We've been married for almost twenty-three years, Arizona. And we've traveled some with the kids, we had family vacations, but I realized a few months ago that I never did take you to the one place I always promised. _And_ we never ended up going anywhere for our twentieth anniversary like we wanted...so this is kind of a late celebration of that."  
  
She looks up at me, her expression softening to one of complete adoration at my words.   
  
"The girls are busy with their own lives, so...this time, it's just you and me."  
  
I smile and step forward, circling my arms around my wife's waist and pulling her close. She looks down at the tickets again, and then blue eyes are gazing straight into mine, delight evident as she waits for me to speak again. I know she remembers.  
  
"Just you, and me...and a beach in Spain."  
  
Her lips meet mine instantly and she kisses me softly, lingering for a long moment before she wraps her arms around my neck in a loving embrace. It's hard to remember there was a time when I thought I could live without this woman; when we thought we could live without each other, and give up everything we had -- give up this. Now we have a lifetime of memories, and love, and inside jokes. We have two incredible grown-up daughters. We've had amazing careers. Now...I feel like we truly have _everything_.   
  
And the moment Arizona pulls back to reply, the light in her eyes tells me she feels the same way too. She knows exactly what I mean. It's always been right in front of us, always been...each other.   
  
"You and me, and Spain, and _sangria_."


End file.
